The answers for everything Podcast

The hosts have been apart for 3 weeks now and have to cover a lot of ground. Stay tuned for the 1st part of this two-part episode. Listen as Teapot eats some lucky charms, cookie batter and Mr. Clay chows down on some air-fried, pad Thai, tofu. Their chat about vegetarians turns into a discussion on deep frying pork fat then dipping it in chocolate (Ukrainian Salo). Find out how easy it is to transition from talk about cereal to talk about porn with Mr. Clay’s mom.   Questions that got answered this week: Is there a correlation between vegan items and the items found on the discount section of a grocery store? How many White Spot or Triple O’s burgers did Mr. Clay eat in 24 hours? What beverages did Mr. Clay pay way too much money for at Disneyland? What is Teapot’s favorite cereal? What is Teapot willing to sell out her gender for? What porn video did Mr. Clay send to his mom? Did she actually watch it? “Nobody will be inspired by what we do” -Teapot-

It’s another “Shoot the shit” episode but this time there is a special guest. Dora stopped in with some homemade cookies and to thank her, we eat almost all of them (perhaps we had the munchies?) The show started off with some information on Farting apps which turned into an in depth discussion on Mr. Clay’s last prostate exam. Our guest enjoyed a game of “would you rather” with choices involving wearing your dad’s underwear, farting at inconvenient times, man diapers and kissing your own cousin. Stick around to learn how Clay’s mom takes center stage in our “choose your own” threesome discussions   Questions that got answered this week:   When is the worst time to fart at a funeral? What made Dora feel like she got knocked in the face with a baseball bat? What part of Lin Manuel Miranda does Teapot want rubbed off onto her? Which character from Friends would we all kill if we had to?   “Nobody will be inspired by what we do” -Teapot-

Welcome back Knowitalls. This week, the hosts do a retrospect on strange news stories from 2020. Sit back and enjoy news about Hungarian orgies, demon semen, crotch bashing Kung-Fu, ice cream that makes you gay and last but certainly not least... a Danish child’s television program that stars a man with a prehensile penis. Conversation tangents:  White house diet coke button, Key lime pie blizzard, Mr. Clay banging all 7 billion people on Earth and how generic drugs compare to brand name drugs. Questions that get answered this week: Is asking for equality, asking for too much? How does a drag queen tuck? How do the teachers in Denmark teach sex education? Do the hosts think that Bernie Sanders is awesome?   “Nobody will be inspired by what we do” -Teapot-

Happy new year Knowitalls. This week the hosts get all nostalgic about 2020 and talk about all the good things that they enjoyed throughout the year. There is so much negativity in the world that they decided that they would focus on positive vibes instead. As much as Covid-19 tried to beat the hope out of them, it failed. It came close… but in the end, it ultimately failed. Sit down, put in those ear pods and take a ride through rapid covid testing, airline refunds, hazelnut spread, free Reese’s merch, French toast, naked Nintendo, Japanese Christmas dinners and the use of long tongues to pleasure people. It only took until 2020 but Teapot finally started (yep… first timer’s club) to watch every theatrical Star Wars movie and she finished it all up by crying at the finale of The Mandalorian. After a unique year, it has been decided that the best parts were related to Ted Lasso, The Mandalorian, air fried food and the luxury of not catching the ‘Vid.   “Nobody will be inspired by what we do” -Teapot-

Part 2 with special guest Dora Cote continues with lots of talk about food.  Which for obvious reasons will see the hosts and guest venture down a deep and dark tunnel filled with lovely ramblings about David Attenborough, only fans pages, The backdoor surprise (also known as the Plumber’s special), Mt Rushmore, Blueberry Hostess pies, eating at buffets, making life-long friends, the Cheetos promotion at KFC, chicken and waffles breakfast cereal and finally they discuss The “Fuck you Dale” tax. Teapot and Mr. Clay sat silently while biting their nails as Dora gave reviews on the items that they cooked for her prior to recording. SPOILER: It turns out that the hosts don’t suck at cooking. Questions that get answered this week: Does Passion feed a 17 year old? What is the one aspect of cooking that Dora didn’t understand before she got on the show? What is the worst cooking term ever? What was Papa Smurf’s original name? What is the secret ingredient in Dora Cote’s Pie crust? What is a piecaken? What are Dora’s 5 meals that she can’t live without? What is the secret ingredient in old school Hostess pies? What’s the worst thing that Dora ever cooked?

This week Dora Cote stops by to talk about what drives her to create mouth watering desserts and how it got her a reoccurring spot on MasterChef Canada. Teapot and Mr. Clay prepared some food for Dora in the hopes of getting rave reviews and in turn, she brought cookies that cemented her reputation as a baking Wizard. Hit play and learn what inspires them to cook, learn about Mr. Clay’s friend who sends him pics of meaty turds and learn what a cucamelon is. Questions that get answered this week: What four W’s is Teapot all about? Why should every USA border guard just hop in and road trip with Mr. Clay and Teapot? What is better than soup and a biscuit? What is the difference between a Turducken and a Tofucken? One final note: Fuck you, Dale

Lots of ground was covered this week, some of it might be too explicit so cover your innocent ears. If you dare to enjoy the obscene and ridiculous, jump right in on some discussion on Kevin Hart standup, James Gunn tweets and the Depp VS Heard allegations. Enjoy 30 minutes of entertainment as Mr. Clay, The Gelman and Teapot chat about Lentils in spaghetti sauce, Grimes the artist, Dry ass pork chops, “Baby” Yoda being 50 years old, Uncle Ben and last but not least Aunt Jemima and Taylor Swift. Questions that get answered this week: Is judgment on today’s societal norms fair when judging actions from a person or company from 50 years ago at a time when those norms were very different? Are people allowed to change? If baby Yoda (Grogu, AKA The Child) is 50 years old, is it considered a child if pertaining to explicit adult activities? How boring is a cheese pizza? What is the difference between flirting and touching? Which words should be removed from the English language?

Welcome back Knowitalls. This week we sit down with the Gelman and talk about names that we associate with attractiveness and what makes them hot. There is a quick journey into online dating apps while we all ponder why men always have profile pics of themselves holding a fish or why they find the need to just show a picture of their lifted truck in their gallery. Teapot coaches as Mr. Clay and Gelman attempt to dock while they all contemplate if this would constitute as a threesome. Teapot gets to learn what the Snyder cut is while Mr. Clay learns about Gelman’s love of Twin Peaks.   Questions that get answered this week: What male celebrities make us wet? What is Teapot ashamed of? Are Pedro Pascal, Pablo Escobar and Ivan Pavlov the same person? What kind of woman Teapot is attracted to? Which men will Mr. Clay give himself to if they were to walk into his room? What percentage of the cast of Black Panther is on Teapot’s celebrity crush list?

This week we get to the core of what makes for a memorable hotel/hostel experience. The adventure begins with tales of drinking hot, shower water, and technology getting the best of Mr. Clay’s mom yet somehow ends with us discussing that Donald Trump is made up of USA instead of DNA (he truly is a specimen).           Learn about the awesomeness of Mexican hostels, the symphony of snores and why you have to shower in Pairs while staying at the Flying Pig (downtown) hostel in Amsterdam.   Questions that get answered this week: Instead of shower beers, can you have shower Oreos? What image did Mr. Clay’s mom keep as her phone background while travelling through Europe? In European hostels, what exactly does “Queen sized bed” mean? What country has a Hostel that is directly above a McDonalds and its ever pungent deep fryer exhaust? Where can you stay if you want hookers to beat down the adjoining room door while their pimp brandishes a gun and yells at them from the street?

          Good evening Knowitalls. We are in spooky season and that means that we have a bonus, Halloween-type episode for you this week. The Gelman dropped by in order to discuss horror movies with us and we recorded the whole thing; even when he went to the bathroom. He talks to us about what to expect and not expect when it comes to the horror genre and why he loves it. We promise you that he is as close to an expert in horror as one can get without getting an actual degree in it (we have not fact checked that statement so if we are wrong, we apologize)           Other than horror films, we learn a little about 1000 island dressing, well done steaks with ketchup and the difference of dressing up for Halloween in the prairies VS the rest of Canada. Oh yeah, we discuss a Werewolf story as well. Questions  that get answered this week: How many Jaws sequels are there? Does Jaws wear a leather jacket and sunglasses? What is the perfect meal that can be ordered at all restaurants? What movie made the Gelman cry? Can Mr. Clay combine an Irish accent with a Korean accent without sounding racist?

Welcome back Knowitalls. This week we teach you about packing carry-on bags for short or even long trips. Somehow this leads into a discussion on how Mr. Clay smuggled vibrators and dirty black gloves through security (for others, of course). Feel free to soak in all of the goodness when the hosts talk about the movie “Tusk”, how French people laugh, taking Mexican vacations and the usage of Polysporin VS iodine. Questions that get answered this week: Does teapot have a valid passport? Why does Teapot wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night? What security line does Clay consistently experience at the airport? How many hats has Clay lost in Norway? What do Odo and Quark’s genitals look like? Why does Clay have green, liquid poop?

Glorious travel plans meet immense travel misfortune in this week’s episode. There have been hints about the lost luggage Eurotrip but this week the whole story gets exposed. Listen up to hear about Scottish castles, bleeding thighs, Air France’s lack of customer service and some firsthand experience in witnessing Paris rioting after the world cup. We talk about see through shirts, ass sweat, bladder infections and Bastille Day.   Questions that get answered this week: How big was the kidney stone that Clay peed out? If we smelled bad when visiting Paris, would anyone notice? What fireworks display makes the Disney ones look like garbage? How much swass could Teapot and Mr. Clay collect on a hot day in Paris? When did AirFrance message Teapot back in regard to her luggage claim? Do Teapot’s boyfriend and Clay compare dong sizes?

Good afternoon Knowitalls. This week things are done a little bit differently as we bring you a bonus show with 3 unaired clips from previous episodes. These clip didn’t work with the flow of their respected episodes but ironically; they work well when they are all edited together.  Teapot and Mr. Clay get into 3 topics then as usual they very quickly veer off in the opposite direction. The show starts with some talk about going to the gym, which leads into what food utensils are good for butt stuff (obviously) and then the show concludes with some salad and potato recipes that are designed to keep your boyfriend home and craving your food. No hidden meanings there… food actually means food and recipes actually mean recipes.  It’s time to learn about teenage girls using the gym strictly for their instagram stories, Teapot’s time management skills, the difference in egg storage between North America and Europe and to wrap things up you get to hear about why Teapot’s trainer asked her to go all James Bond/Black Widow at the gym.   Questions that get answered this week are: Who is a better cook? Teapot or her boyfriend? Is your diet as strict as a homeless person’s diet? Does Teapot have 2 gall bladders? Who doesn’t pay attention to medical surgery follow-up? Could a meat tenderizer or a whisk be a good sex toy? How long would Clay’s mom stand outside of the gym before asking for help? Nobody truly knows because she lined up last month and is still there.

This week is all about the frequency of WTF moments that Teapot and Mr. Clay seem to experience. These moments range from lighting a man on fire, almost being kidnapped in Amsterdam (3 times on the first day, nonetheless), watching a grown man drag a child down the street in the middle of the night and last but not least, a very special moment when your friend’s girlfriend tries to give you a handy while you are all together at the movies. Get ready to learn about nipple extensions, robot hotel kiosks in Germany, automated hot food vending machines in Amsterdam, the Gelman, Teapot’s friendly face and step moms who need to be consoled after their husbands cheat on them. Mr. Clay gets a well deserved, long time coming reality check when he learns that everyone around him always feels wildly uncomfortable whenever he opens his mouth. Even his text messages cause people to cover their phone before they read them just in case a supervisor is within viewing capacity. If you are ready for some bad advice on how to solve family problems in regard to cheating dads then you need to press PLAY right now. Questions that get answered this week: Is getting a handy considered cheating? Is the random stranger from Amsterdam related to teapots mom? Why Is Teapot’s friend a ghost? What is every woman’s dream? Who owns Amsterdam? Why would someone ever say “Fuck it, free mints”? What situation calls for sneaking jacket-less and barefoot out of a window into -40 temperatures in the hopes that your shoes and Jacket are not stolen from the apartment hallway?

Another “Shoot the shit” episode with the hosts answering some “would you rather” questions and then telling some personal stories. Follow along as Teapot has an epiphany on dick pics, cringes at the thought of chewing on tin foil and decides on what her specialty would be if she did a webcam show. Mr. Clay will discuss where his grade 11 yearbook went and why it disappeared in the first place. Believe it or not but Mr. Clay does impressions; and this week he introduces you to his imitation of an older, Greek woman who tells her son to not let Mr. Clay turn him gay. #truetolifestory Questions that get answered this week: Shaggy - Was it him? If Clay only had taste buds in his butt. What would he do? While highway driving, can you get a girl’s number from a moving vehicle if your car is plastered with Porn pictures? Would Clay choose butt stuff with a girl celebrity or butt stuff with a guy celebrity? What did the Swiss man say to Mr. Clay’s mom when he looked over and saw the cucumber penis? Where is the most inappropriate place to pretend to make sweet, sweet love to your friend’s butt while in public?