How to Glow: The Jewish Woman's Marriage Boost

Happy Chanukah! This week I'm on vacation but I wanted to send you a blast-from-the-past--this episode was originally aired all the way back in August of 2019! Hard to believe. It's a great reminder of how we can use the idea of the Five Love Languages to help ourselves--not to make us feel like we are missing out in what we need from our husbands. Want more? Go to kaylalevin.com/coaching and join the wait list for access to my Marriage Check-In workbook and to find out when doors open next for How to Glow!

UPDATE: How to Glow is now open for registration--but only for THREE DAYS! Make sure you get your spot at kaylalevin.com/coaching Can't wait to see you inside!! --- This is a perfect continuation of the Real Goals podcast. Last week I discussed how we can use goals as a way of beating ourselves up or invalidating everything between here and there… Having your back means that no matter what, you don’t use your failures to condemn or hate yourself. In this episode you will learn: Why we SHOULD call them failures Why you want to embrace your failures How to love yourself and be proud of yourself when you fail big How to dream big without burnout How to create a goal that gets you really excited How to break the habit of beating yourself up in an attempt to be better Have an audacious goal you want to commit to loving yourself through? I'd love to help you do this work--join us inside How to Glow and let's get to it!

In today's episode I'm sharing with you a more nuanced, human way to use goals that will serve you so much better than traditional goal-setting. In this episode you will learn... How to set "Real Goals" Why your goals won't always be SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-bound) How goals help keep your brain proactive How goals help with your brain's natural negativity bias How to NOT use goals against yourself Episode References Circle, Arrow, Spiral by Miriam Kosman How to Glow Coaching Program

This week we are in our second of the four self-mastery skills that will move us into Glow energy! A few updates before we get started The Modern Jewish Girl podcast is awesome! If you know anyone exploring Judaism, send them her way! Lots of questions coming in about How to Glow! I'm sharing some details with you about what it will look like inside: We will have a monthly Topic Call and two Q&A calls where you can get coached live or submit questions in advance. I'm also offering my three signature courses inside: Time Management, Foundations, and the First Year Married Online Course.  How to Glow is open for membership from November 28-30.  Today's skill is Being in Your Lane. It's simple and you can use it all the time. First I want you to notice what happens when you get busy with "his lane"--what he's doing, what you think he SHOULD be doing, and all those things. Where does it take you? How do you show up? How do you feel? Are you effective now? Does it work? No! Resisting and judging doesn't really change what's happening. It's not effective. What do you get to experience when you're in your lane? Focused on your goals, your power, your possibilities... This is so much more fun! And more effective--we are engaged in an area where we can make changes Choose what you want to create with the reality or situation you are in Want more support? Join us inside How to Glow to get all your coaching questions answered.

Lots of announcements this week but I'm also really excited to share this skill with you.  BIG NEWS! #1: The podcast name is changing -- so keep your eyes out next week for How to Glow! This new name reflects a change in my focus--to serve Jewish married women of all ages and stages. #2: The How to Glow Membership coaching program is launching this Chanukah! Coaching is going to become available to more Jewish women--women with busy lives, busy budgets, and who deserve coaching support more than anyone! Make sure to get on the waitlist to hear when doors open for registration at firstyearmarried.com/coaching Managing your emotions is way bigger than you might realize. When you can manage your emotions you can get yourself to do whatever you need to.  It's the first of the four fundamental self-mastery skills that really allow you to live the life you want. (Stay tuned for the next three episodes to hear the remaining skills!) The only reason we don't accomplish our goals is that we aren't willing to feel a feeling. Here's a simple process to work on managing your emotions: 1. Pick ONE specific goal you have 2. Think about where you aren't following through right now 3. Identify what emotion you'd have to feel if you were to follow through anyway (it will be a negative emotion) 4. Commit to feeling that feeling for three seconds at a time Give it a try and let me know how it goes! Want some coaching to help you with this tool? Make sure you're on the waitlist for the How to Glow membership so you can join us this Chanukah!

Meredith Boggs is back this week and we are continuing our discussion about social media and its impact on our marriages. Listen to hear: The value of giving ourselves some time in the morning before getting on our smartphones. Us busting the myth that anyone can “do it all” Why there is no shame in admitting you get help! How to stop the scroll once and for all Get Meredith’s Stop the Scroll download at her website. 

This week I’m chatting with Meredith Boggs about social media and our homes. Meredith is a speaker, writer, podcaster and blogger who focuses on "The Other Half" -- in her words, "real life that doesn’t make the highlight reel." On today’s call, we’re discussing… Simple changes that help you to be present with your husband and family when home Can we really “win” over the media giants that are trying to capture our attention? How do we get out of compare and despair when we see our peer’s lives online How to maintain real, authentic relationships in a social media world Please let us know what YOUR systems and strategies are! If you're on Instagram, tag Meredith @meredithwboggs and me @firstyearmarried so we can continue the discussion! More from Meredith: Instagram Website Podcast

Have your attempts to evaluate your marriage ever ended in a spin-out of anxiety or negativity? If so, there's a simple and straightforward solution. Generating Love Confidence before moving into any troubleshooting will allow you to troubleshoot from an empowered and clear space. Listen to this week's episode to learn: How to generate more confidence in your marriage How to evaluate your marriage without freaking out How to feel good about your marriage without putting blinders on about what could be fixed H/T to my business coach Stacey Boehman for the foundation of this concept, which I adjusted from business to marriage. Make sure you're on my email list for goodies, workbooks, and news about upcoming coaching opportunities! www.firstyearmarried.com

Updates:  First 5 Mastermind registration closes soon! Book a consult call here to learn more. Wednesdays at 2 PM Eastern. Another group for women married longer is forming as well. Email me at kayla@firstyearmarried.com to join the wait list. Coming off the whirlwind of Jewish holidays, I feel like everyone is talking about taking things off your to-do list.  I won't be doing that. I'd like to talk about making your to-do list easier. The mistake we make (and I have a long Shabbos prep saga to share the idea) is that we are constantly shifting between decision making and execution. Instead of giving ourselves the chance to move into flow and get to work on a task, we question the task, reevaluate it, and often change tracks midway. This week I'll be teaching you a simple tool to get more done with less time, simplifying your life--which I figure is one of the best ways to achieve a happy marriage. In this episode you will learn: How to have an efficient planning session even if you are super overwhelmed How to get more done with less mental energy burn How to experience flow even in less glamorous tasks How to stay in execution mode and follow the plan you set

Registration is open now for my Fall Mastermind. Register here to grab your spot! If you have any questions you can book a consult here. Today I'm sharing my vision of what is possible for us when we are dedicated to our marriages. Come along with me to hear and get inspired by the ripple effects of this one relationship being on solid, loving ground. Even beyond the value of being happy and confident in your marriage, I'll show you how your marriage effects your personal growth your parenting (even if you don't have kids yet) your emotional well-being the technical running of your life Sometimes the most valuable thing we can do is step back and take the long view, regain clarity, and then step back in.

Heads up! The Fall Newlywed Mastermind opens for registration on Sunday JUST for the people on the waitlist so make sure you’re signed up. We are now up to part THREE where we are bringing together our introspection work with our big dreams. Here are two concepts before we go into application mode. It’s important not to judge our result of how we’re showing up as a wife based on how our husband feels. That doesn’t mean we don’t get to be empathetic, intuitive, or compassionate. But when my goal is to make him happy, I’m trying to take control of something that is not mine to own. His feelings are his. It’s also helpful to remember that any work you’re doing, whether that’s these workbooks or reading marriage books or joining the Mastermind, is not for him. So it isn’t “unfair” that you’re working on your marriage and he’s not. You’re doing it for you. The best way to make change is to take one of your goals, find something specific you can do, and then cut it down to the smallest possible version. Want to be warmer to your husband? Look him in the eye and smile at him for two seconds when he arrives home from work. Choosing a habit that is easy to do means it will snowball. And then give yourself credit when you’ve completed it! What you’ll learn in this episode What it means to take too much responsibility Why making our husband happy can’t ultimately be our goal How to be ok with a husband who you think should feel “better” or act differently How to create habits Sources The Fall Mastermind Wait List Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg The Final Elul Your Marriage Workbook 

This week we go from our introspection and accounting energy (last week’s podcast) into the “fresh notebook” energy of Elul. It’s time to set our goals, and I challenge you to do this from “big-dream” energy, not “what I think I can get” energy. Download your episode workbook here: firstyearmarried.com/ep-119-elul-your-marriage-part-2-dreams-and-connection/ In this week’s podcast you’ll learn How to set goals for what you REALLY want in your marriage How to get out of victim or blame mode and make effective changes in your marriage How to dream bigger without fear that you can’t have what you really want Also, a reminder! The Newlywed mastermind is opening for registration SOON! Make sure you're on the wait list! firstyearmarried.com/coaching/

We're going to be using everything we know about the month of Elul and introspecting and reflecting and GROWING to benefit our marriages. Join us by signing up for the email list at firstyearmarried.com -- I LOVE the workbooks I'm preparing for you all and can't wait to share them with you! If you haven't done my Marriage Check-In mini-workbook yet, that's the best place to start (totally FREE when you join the email list) and more marriage-enhancing goodies coming your way all month! Final thought: as you sign up, consider what helps you stay engaged and accountable. Whether that means you grab a buddy to do this together, get an accountability partner, repost to social as you go, or anything else you dream up. Download the workbook here.

Chodesh tov! Listen this week to hear why Elul is the PERFECT time to introspect on your marriage. Join me for my month-long email program where I'll be helping you take stock, set goals, and get more perspective on your marriage: www.firstyearmarried.com and join the email list!

Sometimes even when we know a thought is not serving us, we still can't let it go. I call these "sticky thoughts." This week I'm walking you through how you can work with even the stickiest thoughts and improve your happiness and love your life more. Interested in working with me? I have opened my schedule for private meetings for women considering joining the next group coaching program. Go to firstyearmarried.com/coaching to book your appointment.