How to Glow: The Jewish Woman's Marriage Boost

What struggles are you dealing with that could actually be a non-issue? How do we find the mental obstacles we've created? When you set a compelling goal, your brain has a heyday. Lucky us, right? But what's awesome about that is it gives you a chance to see WHAT your brain has been offering you all the time. (It just gets louder.)  So this week I'm taking you on a mini coaching session (workbook included at www.firstyearmarried.com on the podcast episode page) to find your obstacles, clarify your goal, and live the dream. Also... make sure you're on the wait list to find out when new coaching spots become available and new workshops are offered! 

This week I'm addressing a really common situation I've heard from a surprising number of you! Dealing with EXTRA in-law time when your family is far away and you can't see them due to COVID. BUT even if that's not your highly-specific scenario, I want you to know that I'm also teaching a new tool that you will DEFINITELY want to use in your self-coaching! So don't miss this one. By the way, make sure you're on the email list. Really good stuff coming your way soon. You don't want to miss it. You can sign up at firstyearmarried.com

Your feedback on part 1 was awesome and here's the second installment. This week you'll hear all about how we've used self-coaching tools to improve our marriage and deal with challenges that have come our way.  More from Kayla at www.firstyearmarried.com (make sure you're subscribed to the email list!) Learn more about the self-coaching model by Brooke Castillo that we reference in the episode at thelifecoachschool.com

In honor of our 100th episode (WHAATTTTT!!!), The Husband (AKA Noah) is interviewing me this week. 99 episodes of editing this podcast has given him a lot of ideas of what he'd LIKE to hear me talk about! In the first half of this interview, we discuss newlywed cooking meltdowns, a devastating loss during shana rishona, the challenge of aliya, and how our marriage has transformed over the years.  Happy Chanukah everyone! Rabbi Tatz Marriage shiur on SimpletoRemember.com (part 1) Rabbi Tatz Marriage shiur on SimpletoRemember.com (part 2) Rabbi Orlofsky: Eretz Yisrael and the Geulah

As we wrap up 2020 I wanted to share a simple tool that can have a profound impact on how you experience your marriage: the Marriage Check-In. Now, there are ways in which just generally thinking about our marriages can actually lead us unintentionally into negativity and worry. A structured process allows us to guide our brains to help us to think creatively and proactively so we find answers that will give us the biggest real-life benefit. To get the PDF, go to www.FirstYearMarried.com and join the email list. You'll get it in your inbox! Enjoy! Kayla

Wife, mom of five, and... Olympic marathon candidate?!  Beatie is going to blow your mind with her story about how she took up running to get herself back to being active and ended up as a professional runner for Israel and a candidate for the Tokyo Olympics. Not only is her journey incredible, but she speaks from such a real place about the struggle of taking care of yourself, especially while growing a family, and the value of exercise for each person--marathon runner or not! She is such an amazing example of tuning into what feeds her deeply and making space for it in her life. And look where that took her! So whether you're looking for general inspiration for self care or to rethink your approach to exercise, make sure you check out this episode. You can find Beatie on Instagram @marathonmother and Facebook  And don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so you can catch each new episode! Enjoy!

(Heads up: I'm calling this one a #Jewsode because it is PARTICULARLY specific to the religious Jewish world. All are welcome to listen and apply as you like, of course, but since the content is inherently about Jewish life, this episode may be less generally applicable than usual.) I've had several requests, especially during COVID, to talk about husbands who are skipping minyan (prayers), not going to shul or praying at all, or otherwise not doing what you expected in the spiritual realm. In this episode, I'm taking you through a simple exercise to help you identify why you're feeling triggered by his behavior and get some space so you aren't so reactive. So grab some paper :)  At the end of the episode, I also discuss the concept of a woman's olam haba being tied up in her husband's learning and how to not let that idea make you go totally bonkers when he slacks off, and also how to pursue your values in a way that's truly effective and doesn't generate all this stress and anxiety. ** My husband pointed out that I didn't translate all the words! So here's your glossary (and some helpful articles) if you need it. minyan - prayer quorum daven - pray  olam haba - the world to come Shacharis (or Shacharit) - morning prayer

On the two year anniversary of my "diaversary" - the date of my type 1 diabetes diagnosis - I wanted to talk about how we use thought work when we can't improve a situation. We focus a lot on what we can change--SO MUCH more is in our power than we realize. But sometimes it's not in our control. What do we do with that?  www.firstyearmarried.com

Don't miss Part 2 of my interview with Alison Armstrong! Here are a few gems she shares: Your husband ACCEPTS YOU FULLY (and what that actually mean) Your husband manages his energy and motivation differently than you do. How men change throughout their development, and how we change, too (but differently) How to communicate with your husband so that he'll WANT to help LEARN MORE: Alison Armstrong's programs can be found at her website UnderstandMen.com I strongly recommend her two books, Keys to the Kingdom and The Queen's Code Alison refers to our natural time schedules and the website thepowerofwhenquiz.com Learn more about coaching with Kayla at FirstYearMarried.com (not just for newlyweds!) To hear my previous interview with Alison, listen to Episodes 50 and Episode 51

WHOOPEE! One of my absolute favorite humans, teachers, thought leaders, the marvelous Alison Armstrong, is back on the podcast this week!!  We talked about what newlyweds come up against--the frustrations and struggles--and how they reappear at each stage along the line. Mainly, you'll learn about expectations: how they change when we get married (for ourselves and for our partners) and how we often realize they're there a little too late. I know you'll enjoy this episode so much! LEARN MORE:  Alison Armstrong's programs can be found at her website UnderstandMen.com I strongly recommend her two books, Keys to the Kingdom and The Queen's Code  Learn more about Kayla's upcoming Mastermind Group Program and 1:1 Coaching at FirstYearMarried.com (not just for newlyweds!) To hear my previous interview with Alison, listen to Episodes 50 and Episode 51

Hi friends! I wasn't planning to post my Zoom conversation with Ilana last week onto the podcast, but it was just so darn good that I had to! Enjoy the inspiration from Ilana Kendal who will teach you on this episode about how to use storytelling to channel personal growth, plus you'll get a peek into our very first FYM book club book. It's fun, we had fun, and I'm excited to share it with you.  We'll be having Ilana back on in early December to answer your questions about the book, and I'll be sharing my thoughts as I work my way through her book.  You can buy Choosing Up! from www.mosaicapress.com with the code FYM10 for 10% off Or find the book on Amazon 

In this episode I'm sharing my somewhat unusual take on new year's resolutions. Whether you celebrate now or in January (or heck whenever you feel like it), this episode will help you think about your goals in a way that will be more compelling and more sustainable than the goals you've tried before. Join the mailing list at www.firstyearmarried.com Or you can apply here for 1:1 coaching

This week we're diving into the idea of your relationship with Others--this can be the closer relationships like parents, siblings, and in-laws, or more distant relationships like coworkers or neighbors. We usually run a paradox in our minds: "I wish you were less like you" and "I want us to have an authentic relationship." But an authentic relationship means we accept the other person AS THEY ARE.  Your brain wants to believe that if they changed you'd feel better. But the reality is, if you stopped resisting them as they are, you would IMMEDIATELY feel better.  Crazy, no? So join us this week as we talk about dropping the resistance, allowing ourselves to stop trying to please everyone else and show up in an authentic way, 

So many times, we go outside of ourselves for answers that are ours to decide. We ask, "how is my relationship doing?" and then wait, looking for clues to tell us. But if a relationship is, at its essence, just the thoughts you have about a person and your connection... Then you're the one who gets to pick how it's doing. What do you want to choose to think on purpose about your marriage? This week I'll walk you through this exercise.

Your relationship with yourself is nothing more than the sum total of your thoughts about yourself. It’s not more profound. ⁠ It’s not more literal.⁠ And, despite popular belief, finding out WHY you have negative opinions of yourself is not always necessary. In fact, it can be counterproductive when this “research” into our thinking inadvertently reinforces the opinion.⁠ Wanna know the good news?⁠ If it's all about your thoughts, you can change them.⁠ ⁠Listen this week to find out how. Other episodes on this topic: First Year Married: Shame Won't Make You a Better Wife The Life Coach School Podcast