How to Glow: The Jewish Woman's Marriage Boost

I'll say it... the first year of marriage can be HARD! Being a newlywed is such a tremendous adjustment, and it can create a lot of insecurity and anxiety for some people. This week I'm talking about the ways in which our marriages get better with time (and the right focus) and how to find a mentor who will guide you and inspire you in improving your marriage. 

Let's talk about disappointment. Whether you went to premarital counseling and made a bunch of agreements that haven't come through or he seems different from the guy you dated, feeling like your husband isn't "what you signed up for" is so common. This week we talk about where this comes from and what to do about it.

This week we're diving deep into managing your mind. While it feels like we should be able to "set it and forget it," really our brains are always at work and if left unsupervised, they can get into a little bit of trouble. This week we'll be talking about how often to do thought work and why, and how this is going to benefit not just your marriage but your entire life. This is where self-improvement and self-development kick into super-speed and your marriage truly transforms.

This question came in from a listener on Instagram. There are several factors to consider before starting a family, but I (of course) want to talk to you about your mind. Start HERE before you move onto the checklist of "must haves" and "to dos." 

Traveling together… there is so much to say and I hope we’re able to come back to this topic more over the course of this podcast. Is this a vacation or a family trip? If it’s a family trip, who is being prioritized? If it’s your spouse, what does your husband need to be supported and what will you need to be able to give that support?  What might come up? What is the goal of the trip? Asking your brain the right questions can take any trip and evolve it to deliver far more value to your life and your marriage. If you have an upcoming vacation with your spouse, listen to this one now and maybe even once more before you leave. Enjoy!

This episode is for my listeners and clients who have been married longer than a year but are still wanting inspiration and improved connection with their spouses. Here are my tips on how to bring the "newlywed vibe" back to your marriage, why the 4-7 year phase can be tricky, and some tips on setting up your marriage for the long haul.  (By the way, newlyweds, you should listen too and gain some tips for what's to come!)

Do you have an image of your mind of how you wish you were showing up in your marriage? Do you come down hard on yourself when you don't? If so, you MUST listen to this week's podcast. You CAN be a better wife (or husband), but beating yourself up or criticizing yourself is not the way to do it. More than that... you'll actually harm the authenticity of your relationship. Your partner chose YOU, flaws and all. This podcast will teach you how to align your thinking with the result you want in your marriage.

 Sometimes all the coaching in the world isn't going to cut it. And that's because you're just too tired. When I was first married, I loved staying up late... but my marriage was paying the price. It took me longer than I care to admit to realize that the zombie my husband was married to wasn't the one he signed up for!  In this episode, I'll walk you through my system called "baseline self care" that will allow you to identify what keeps you up and running. This isn't the deep meaningful spiritual retreat or even wine and bubble baths. This is just about having clarity about what's on your list that needs to be done, at a minimum. I'll also teach you my ten second check-in and help you identify when it's time for self-coaching and when it's time for self care. 

I got so much feedback and questions and awesome stories about the episode, "Why You Don't Have Enough Time" that I wanted to run another episode--Part 2 on Zero Based Scheduling! Time Management can be one of our major stressors, and this tool has helped my husband and I feel so much more at peace with how we spend our time.  This episode addresses some of the more common questions I received and gives you an update on where we are with the tool ourselves. It's been great hearing stories from listeners about how this is giving you clarity and empowerment as you make decisions about what to do and what to cut. And while this isn't only about marriage, one of the main things newlyweds are navigating is learning to share all parts of life--finances, space, and time--with another person, and you want to do it successfully!  Please keep sending in your feedback, questions, and stories--I love to hear from you! 

You're ready to grow, you're ready to move on to the next level.... but everyone around you is struggling. What's a newlywed to do? How do we improve our lives without leaving those we love in the dust?  Budgeting for newlyweds can be tricky. You might struggle with getting your apartment organized, or your new home. Maybe for you what's hard is losing weight or drinking less... but sometimes we're ready to move on from these challenges and up-level our lives, but something surprising is holding us back. Check out this week's episode for a whole new way to look at overcoming your challenges. Finding your invisible cape means electing yourself the official representative who is going to break the trend... for the sake of yourself, and for others who need someone to look to. Those around you might be struggling with peer pressure or negative thinking, but you can be the example of what it's like to live life without that particular struggle. Sometimes we don our invisible capes to allow ourselves to buy a more modest home or post less about our fantastic marriages, so that we aren't putting pressure on those around us who might be struggling.  This is not only super fun to do, but it can allow us to get the motivation to make the decision we really felt was best for us in the first place.

Communication is a hot topic when it comes to marriage and relationships. And while improving our communication is always a value, this class will help you challenge what you consider to be "good communication" and discover what major form of communication you may be missing out on entirely. Resources mentions: Why Gender Matters: https://amzn.to/2Rxfb6D Mating in Captivity: https://amzn.to/2LNBgIZ Why Gender Matters, Leonard Sax, 2005, p. 29 "In boys, as in men, the part of the brain where emotions happen is not well connected to the part of the brain where verbal processing and speech happens--unlike the situation in teenage girls and women. "  The above are affiliate links

If you've struggled with your relationship with your mother-in-law (or ANY family member... or really any other human), this episode is for you. I'll be talking about what makes these in-law relationships uniquely challenging, what we do to make it so much worse, and some of my own experiences using self-coaching to improve my relationships with family members.

In today's episode, we're gonna talk about your time and why you don't have enough of it. It's not why you think. I'll share my tool for matching your priorities to your calendar and help you deal with those feelings of busyness and overwhelm that can suck the energy out of all of us.

Newlyweds... this is what it's all about. Using the early days of marriage to build a strong foundation so you can ENJOY your marriage for the long-run! In this episode, I'll be letting you in on why I focus so much on the first year of marriage, what you can do to maximize the potential of this time, the challenges many people face early on in their marriages, and how you can use this material even if you have been married a while!  What better way to start this podcast than to talk about that first year of marriage? That exhilarating, overwhelming, impossible, unbelievable first year of marriage. It’s the most amazing time to focus. Focus on building, focus on connecting, focus on prioritizing. I hope you enjoy. xo, Kayla

The First Year Married Podcast lands THIS SUNDAY December 23rd. We are so excited to share it with you! Please subscribe and stay tuned for the launch.