Review Party Dot Com

You're never really alone, just check the seats next to you for cheek prints. More often than not, you'll find that the spirit of one of your progenitors was resting their rump right next to you, perhaps guiding you, perhaps enjoying a bit of your company, perhaps just resting their sweaty dumper for a moment on their journey through space and time. Today's topics include seeing a Neanderthal in the mirror, Bender the robot, bait and switches, Diddy Kong, hot weenies, first-hand freakitude, Beast Wars, Sugar Free Gummi Bears AGAIN, and poor oyster dudes. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

There is a waterfowl on the water prowl. Don't meander with your gander or you could get an Anser you don't like. These are puns, people. Today's topics include Mandy Moore encased in amber, mist monsters, Saving Private Ryan, facts, gains, fish sticks, the very nature of intelligence, pervert licenses, sugar free gummie bears, and scratchy blankets. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

There is like one dish that eggplant is the star of, and it’s eggplant parmesan. That is just like, diet lasagna. Lasagna lite. Nah dawg, nah, I ain’t having NONE OF IT. Today's topics include cymbal banging monkey laughter, tasty cartoon apples, the Mario 64 loading screen, name brand zip lock bags, bamboo, grapefruit juice, birthday cake protein, powerful beef jerky crushing jaws, bamboo again, and marble runs. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

If tin cans in tasteful bathing wear is wrong, I don't want to be right! Today's topics include: cannonballs, brussel sprouts, vitamins, unwanted aloe vera, wax helmets, the old people's realm, gack, Short Circuit, turkey legs, Tinder, a visceral series of stills, and a hot liter of cool cola. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

When were you at your cutest, your youngest, and your most availablest? The apex of those three variables hold the secret to your springboard into success with money, fame, and great relationships. To find out more, order my self help 8-track box set. Today's topics include the Pizza Hut call center and the Pizza Beast, a Kwik Trip to the grave, yelling "Rangers!", resting pickle face, and "snapchat users". Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

Once you pop the fun don't stop, especially if you are popping open a sleeve of cookies. The first cookie is as decadent as the dozenth. You can't stop. You must continue feasting. You must write a review for the cookies. And then eat twelve more. Today's topics include the perfect cough, serious little brother bodily harm, desperate demanding, another bowl of gruel, loading up the bucket, six miscreants, piss particles, hot feet, baby brains, and people living in fucking squalor. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

What if the dial-up tone was the screams of cookies being deleted? Today's topics include troubled waters, bootstrap situations, stupid stuff, alternative lifestyle chiropractors, Dubious Doctor D, an uncomfortable analogy, and ancient dudes. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/

The multiverse movies brush over one thing: all the different slightly alternative pastas you could enjoy. YES! YES! YES! Today's topics include: grudge ghosts, doubling down, professional review enjoying, Arnold's ass, jitterbug phones and stretchy pants, bags of sand in boiling water, the quesadilla window, the full bowling shirt treatment, screaming cheeks, dorm room futons, The Oregon Trail, russets, lies, and every liquid I excrete. Want more party? Check out https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

“Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.” - Ernest Hemingway. “How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? Yeah... If Coach would'a put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.” - Uncle Rico Today’s topics include empty promises, double sealing, Casper’s uncles, Freaky Friday farts, polite paleontologists, “Wow Earners”, and not your typical Wienermobile driver. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

The sauce is under the cheese, and The Force is underneath that. If you want to get to the midichlorians, you better bring a fork AND knife for this saucy space swamp surprise! Today’s topics include little unicycle monkeys, the undeniable birdshit factor, Wrigley gum, night sweats (on purpose), the taste of anger, greek yogurt, bananas and pizza slices, bulbous children, and Fountain Picture Party Dot Com. Want more party? Check out https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

This year I’m animorphing into a bengal! I’m gunna scratch everyone up! Look out! Today’s topics include Thor’s weapons guy, scrap metal and barbed wire, Turkish barbers, X-ray juice, mushroom stink mix, Tenacious Deacons, Enya, LED room lights, DJ Actual Baby, fine dining, and sabrage. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

Every Reviewer down in Reviewville liked reviews a lot... But Evil Matt, who lived just south of Reviewville, did NOT! Evil Matt hated reviews! The whole review season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. I think the most likely reason of all may have been that his Amazon gift card was two sizes too small. Today's topics include: X-files Christmas Shopping, Alien Jeff Bezo's Cowboy Hat, brain slugs, all that Keanu stuff, method podcasting, lip balm, Google glasses, lobsters, a decent mousepad, and mowing the lawn. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/! 

It’s beginning to look a lot like a cold blooded reptile! Today’s topics include Bob Newhart, fishnet business, sassy girls, launching yourself to Hell, Mad Cats, ziplock bags of guac, Mario 64 noises, toddlers, and screams of vengeance. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

I googled the lyrics for Despacito so I could write some great jokes for this description, but I forgot they were all in Spanish :( Today topics include hatchets, jello, the unlimited applications of pog slammers, getting hit on vicariously, being discreet with your juices, turkey basters, John Cusack, and raw, solid water. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/!

It smells like a Karen's haircut and last minute gift wrappings, that's right, tis the season to just hate everyone, especially your own family, and yourself. Wow, that was really more depressing to write than I thought. Have this funny podcast episode to make up for it. Today's topics include possible feral basement children, a lack of botany, The Grinch, imagination, a whole bucket seat, growling, vegan donuts, and Bullet Train Land. Want more party? Check it out at https://www.reviewpartydotcom.com/