Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Self-confidence! Sounds good, doesn't it? You want to have, express, and experience it, and that's not always easy after a #Hijackal has trampled it. You can become self-confident, and today's episode will give you great steps! How are you doing with your self-confidence? Has someone bashed it? Are you ready to improve your self-confidence and step out with more conscious self-love? Great. You'll love this episode!Once you're on a downward path with your self-confidence, the world seems to conspire to keep you there. You even find ways to put yourself down and keep yourself down, especially if you've been with a #Hijackal of any stripe. That Hijackal could have been your parent, sibling, or partner. Time to stop letting that person have any say in how you live your life, and especially no further say in what you are capable of doing.----------------------------------------------------------------------If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles----------------------------------------------------------------------Constantly being told you are worthless, or thoughtless, or even much less, wears away self-esteem, and with it goes your self-confidence. If you're wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up. Hijackals have to believe they are always right, and the smartest person in ever room, at all time. So, they give you false messages about yourself. Time to examine those and stop believing them.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: What a Hijackal parent told you about who you are is likely nowhere near the truth Listening to the opinions of others erodes your self-confidence No need to let people discourage you from trying new things How to turn off the old voices that tell you you can't do things Great quotation from e.e.cummings : Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. YAY! Step up today and don't let anyone put you down ever again. OK?If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.Make positive changes NOW.Big hugs,RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two at least monthly insightful webinars and access to the webinar library You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #passive-aggressivepeople #passive-aggressivebehavior #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #beassertive #self-confidence #improvemyself-confidenceSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You need to learn how to side-step toxic, passive-aggressive behavior, and save your sanity, right? Today's episode gives you 7 ways to do just that. Other episodes have talked about important aspects of being in relationship with a passive-aggressive person, and about what to do if you are being passive-aggressive. Now, how to protect yourself from the toxicity of passive-aggressive behavior coming from someone else!You feel the energetic hit of their toxic behavior, but strangely, most folks immediately question themselves. That's where you have to start making changes. Once you recognize the passive-aggression, you can then do things differently yourself. That's where your power lies.----------------------------------------------------------------------If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. ForRelationshipHelp.com/Circles ----------------------------------------------------------------------Passive-aggressive behavior is covert--stealthy, underground, and under-handed. You feel it, but you're not often certain what it is that's bothering you. Until you do! That's why I've written so much about it, and devoted several episodes to it. Once you know clearly what it is, you will feel empowered in the face of it. Maybe not immediately, but that will be the result if you step up and use these seven tips all the time.Passive-aggressive people can make chaos out of thin air. Actually, they are secretly delighted to do so. It gives them power over others. They haven't learned to approach situations, feelings, relationship, or communication directly, so they do it indirectly. Hence, the chaos!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Do not try to win or apply reason when confronting passive-aggressive behavior. Do not join in the hostility. Know your boundaries, and express and maintain them, no matter what resistance you experience. Examine what might be your fault, and own it. Reject what is not, and say so. Do not engage in blame. This only exacerbates arguments. Remember that passive-aggressive behavior coming towards you is not about you. You need help to see the patterns, because when you're a participant in the relationship, they are very hard to see. I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinars You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #passive-aggressivepeople #passive-aggressivebehavior #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetworkSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oh, the joys of being love-bombed, right? Only you had no idea that that was what was happening!You honestly believed you had found your partner, your person, your soulmate, the person who knew you so well, and could anticipate your needs. You just knew you'd be happy forever. All was well...until the "Gotcha!" That's the moment when you realized--much as you tried not to notice--that things were no longer as rosy as they seemed. You recognize that you are often being discounted, being belittled, and often, too much rage. Maybe, there is too much name-calling going on, too much blaming, too much fault-finding.And, on the flip side, there was not enough love, communication, emotional intimacy, or respect. You, if you were like most who found themselves with #Hijackals, found that you were being betrayed. Your trust was misplaced. You didn't want to believe it, so you made endless excuses and justifications for it.Now, you see it. You were raised by a #Hijackal, loved a #Hijackal, married a #Hijackal, or divorced a #Hijackal, and you now feel worn down, torn down, and just plain duped, and angry. Right?In today's episode, I help you see how this system works and why you are so attractive to Hijackal. Why you are drawn to Hijackals, even. And, once you see it clearly, you'll hopefully never unsee it again!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How you were groomed to be attractive to narcissists, and attracted to #Hijackals, especially people with narcissistic traits Why it is not your fault, or anything you consciously did, or decided How brain development has a lot to do with it Why #Hijackal behavior somehow seems "comfortably uncomfortable" How to stop making excuses for them and see narcissistic behavior for what it is I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. Want my help? I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97. I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinars You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now! ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #identifyingabuse #callitabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How many times have you heard someone--maybe on TV--say, "Oh, we're just going through a rough patch." Really? Is it? Or, is it abuse? It's SO important to know the difference, and that's what today's episode sets out to make very clear: the difference.Here's how Dictionary.com defines abuse: to use wrongly or improperly misuse abuse one's authority treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about malign to commit sexual assault upon harshly or coarsely insulting language bad or improper treatment OK...big difference from a supposed "rough patch," right?There's no getting away from it. When someone treats you in a degrading, mean, discounting, or dismissive way, it's abuse!If you don't have strong boundaries that you express and maintain, you'll turn yourself into a pretzel, and end up being a doormat. You don't want that for a moment longer, right? That's why you need to see this clearly right now, whether it is happening to you or to someone you care about.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Why you mustn't dismiss "bad behavior" Clear outlines of what emotional abuse and verbal abuse are Why it is essential to express and maintain boundaries in outing abuse Why you must never allow someone to diminish your sense of identity, dignity, or self-worth Examples of what #Hijackal abusers do that you need to recognize for what it is. #Hijackals, finances, and financial abuse I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #identifyingabuse #callitabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Whatever has the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff got to do with covert narcissism? Just who is that troll under the bridge in the story? In your story?Let's take a look at that in today's episode of Save Your Sanity.Sad that any one has to live under a bridge, for sure. No doubt about it, the parents of a covert narcissist taught them how to do it. That's how they survived their childhoods. Unfortunately, those are the only strategies they currently have, and so....under the bridge!Covert narcissists love to live under a bridge, have a sad story to tell, and offer to "gobble you up" when you don't meet their needs. Today, I'm using this story to help illustrate how crafty covert narcissists are, how they hide in wait to pull you under! How they are lying in wait to make you wrong!Dr. Craig Malkin wrote that: "What's different about covert narcissists is that because they're introverted, they don't advertise their inflated egos." They may not advertise, but they still sell you that bill of goods.Are you feeling guilty that you can't make things right or good for someone who seems to never want to feel better?Are you exhausted from trying to show someone that they matter, and it seems they don't want to see it?You could be with a covert narcissist...or, maybe, you were raised by one. For sure, today is a good day to see what's under the bridge, and refuse to cross any more!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Why your heart goes out to people who are "takers" What covert narcissists do to make you feel as though you're never doing it enough to make them feel good Why their constant stories of "it's not fair" or "no one ever gives me a chance" need to stop playing on your heartstrings How covert narcissists use passive-aggressive behavior to pull you down, and pull you under the bridge Why you're only valued for what you can give a covert narcissist, never for who you are I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #covertnarcissist #trolls #identifycovertnarcissismSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

HIJACKALS®! They exist! You've likely met one or two. Most everyone has. There is no real need for a diagnosis. The Hijackal will not subject him or herself to one, anyway. After all, s/he is perfect, right?All you really need to have is the ability to clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of these relentlessly difficult people, and know what to do to not become their prey! They are emotional predators.I created and trademarked this term, #Hijackals, to give you a way to easily talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people in your life, and in a non-clinical way. After all, what you need is to know what to do when you're in a relationship with one, right? That begins with clearly being able to identify a toxic person's behaviors, and know that there are those patterns. That's helpful!Hijackals like to push you away. They do their upmost to push your buttons...or, at least, it sure feels that way. You might be surprised to learn today that they are really doing that for other reasons than driving you to drink!Not only do they like to shove you away, but they also then make you wrong for going, and then demand that you stay. Crazy-making!That's why today's episode is so important to clearly seeing what's really going on!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Why "overgiving" to a Hijackal is a really bad idea Why difficult people can't see what they're doing, even when you point it out Why Hijackals have such a need for power and control Dr. Shaler's definition of her term, Hijackals®: "People who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control." Know one now? I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetworkSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT ON YOUR LIFE IS IMPORTANT.If it happened to you, it can affect all areas of your life and relationships.THE GOOD NEWS: You can heal and we'll talk about this later in the episode with my guest.DR. JONICE WEBB, Author of the first book written on Childhood Emotional Neglect ( CEN )First, though, I invite you to answer this question:"Do you recognize what emotional abuse of children is? It's much more than you might think."Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control or dominate another person. Whether that is through fear, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, guilt, blaming, manipulation or denial. Therefore, emotional abuse is simply any abuse that is emotional rather than physical.It can include belittling, discounting, manipulating the emotions of another and constant criticism. It can be less obvious than that, such as continuous disapproval, or the refusal to ever be pleased by another in any way.It can be engaging children in age-inappropriate behavior, or engaging in age-inappropriate confidences. When a parent tries to engage a child to take his/her side against the other parent, this is emotional abuse.Emotional abuse of children is often more subtle than the systematic wearing away of their self-esteem and self-confidence. Emotional abuse cuts to the core of their being, creating scars, impressions and perceptions that are far deeper and longer-lasting than physical ones. An attempt to distort or undermine a child’s perception of the world is emotional abuse.  In today's episode, I've given a very clear example of a situation that might not sound abusive on first hearing, but, once you've listened to this, you'll see things differently!GUEST: Dr. Jonice Webb, author of the first books ever on Childhood Emotional NeglectJonice Webb, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, speaker, blogger, and best-selling author. Dr. Webb wrote the first book ever written about Childhood Emotional Neglect, and is recognized worldwide as the pioneer of Childhood Emotional Neglect, CEN .Dr. Webb is dedicated to bringing awareness of the power of Childhood Emotional Neglect to people everywhere. She is the author of Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships.Were you ever shamed for having emotions in your early life? That's a prime example of a type of Childhood Emotional Neglect. You may never have thought about it in those terms, and today's episode will bring much more than this to light for you.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Wondering why you may downplay your own needs and not ask for much? If you've experienced Childhood Emotional Neglect, how do you become more confident? Why you may still be tamping down your anger? What is the connection between Childhood Emotional Neglect, and troubles in relationships? How can a person who has experienced CEN begin to get in greater touch with their emotions? What are the likely impact of CEN in an adult's life? I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #ChildhoodEmotionalNeglect #CENs #DrJoniceWebb #EmotionalneglectSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Constant drama in one of your relationships? Are you frustrated and resentful, but unsure how to change things? Do you fool yourself by making excuses for the other person's poor, damaging, or degrading behaviors? No more, OK? You will feel SO much better when you are confident that you can: set boundaries express your boundaries maintain your boundaries set consequences for trampled boundaries follow-through on the consequences Right?Of course.If you had a #Hijackal parent, you are used to having your boundaries trampled. You likely wonder if you know anything different! That's because all Hijackals® believe that things should be their way or the highway. How dare you have a point of view, or a desire for something different than they want you to have!And, how about name-calling? NO! That's not OK at all.How do you stop it? In today's episode I use stopping name-calling as an example to take you through the steps to setting boundaries, through to following through on the consequences of trespassing a personal boundary.Follow these steps, and you'll soon be more comfortable with creating boundaries.What's the pay-off? Less drama over time! Whoo- hoo!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Why constant drama may feel comfortably uncomfortable to you Why you may be hoping too much that the person really loves you Steps to setting and express clear boundaries When you need to set consequences Empowering yourself to be assertive I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotional abuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #boundaries #settingboundaries #toomuchdrama #stopthedrama #name-callingSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Emotional grown-ups don't fight. Kids and needy adults fight. You don't want to be one of those, so a few essential tips for you in today's episode. Fighting is what kids do. They do it because they are trying to establish boundaries, power, and a sense of who they are. They don't know yet. Their skills are almost non-existent, except for what they have seen the adult in their lives do. Were those good models? Hmmmm....You don't want to fight, right? So, today, I'm suggesting you do these three big things to stay out of the fray.You know fighting never works. You might feel like to "really told him off," or, "I told it like it is," but did it really accomplish anything?Fighting with a #Hijackal is an absurdity, really. You can't get anywhere, and you don't feel better in the end. So, don't do it!Sure, for a few minutes, you feel like you got rid of a bunch of pent-up anger, and you needed to get a whole lot off your chest. BUT, what is the result? Did anything really change, especially did anything change for the better? Not likely.You need to be very clear within yourself about who you want to be and how you want to express yourself. Communicating clearly will empower you, I promise.So, these three things I talk about in today's episode are the very best starting places. Promise!You matter! You deserve to be emotionally safe, so be sure you're the emotionally mature one, OK?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Why fighting lacks emotional maturity. Not a surprise, really, right? Why #Hijackals enjoy the fight Three things you need to work out for yourself that will help you be assertive How to improve your self-confidence when things need to be said Why you cannot get anywhere with a #Hijackal by fighting I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotional abuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #emotionalmaturity #overcominganger #nofightingSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I know, you don't want to believe that that person who said they loved you--or, that person who gave birth to you--will ever really hurt you...like in go to the hospital, or the morgue hurt you, right? You want to believe that they really love you, even though they only behave that way when they really want something from you. Sometimes, they also behave that way when things are going VERY well for them in life. BUT, usually, they are unpredictably frustrated, angry, raging, or giving you the silent treatment.THESE ARE SERIOUS #HIJACKALS®!When you hear about violence perpetrated in so many ways in the world--shootings, wars, subway "pushers", rape, beatings, I hope it is a wake-up call. Have a look at your life with a Hijackal and think about the possibility of violence. There may be none, and I hope that's the truth for you.However, many people simply don't want to look at that possibility of violence, and do nothing.I want you to stay safe, so today, I'm talking about something that really needs to be talked about, thought about, and recognized for what it is: that potential for violence.In this episode, I ask you six questions that you are best to think about long before too much anger erupts. PLEASE listen!Listen for yourself. Listen for a friend who may be in a volatile situation. Invite him or her to listen. Maybe, it will be a wake-up call! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Are you hiding your head in the sand about the potential for violence in a relationship in your life? Are you in denial about someone's behavior? Who you need to talk with about this and why Why you need to hold on to this truth: #Hijackals are not driven by logic How a Hijackal's search for significance in life has gone terribly wrong Your best next steps. I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotional abuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #familyviolence #domesticviolence #denialofabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Do you have a person in your life that is crazy-making? S/he promises to do something, and then somehow forgets?Or, a person who procrastinates regularly, then wants to make it your fault--or the weather's--that things don't get done? Then, you'll want to listen to this episode on the actual emotional abuse that happens when you are often experiencing someone else's passive-aggressive behavior.Passive-aggressive behavior is covert. Stealthy even!You're not really sure when or if you were hit, or when you might be again. It catches you off-guard, and causes you to question your sanity. You think:"Didn't s/he agree to do this? I'm sure that's the case. Yet, now that it is not done when promised, s/he is telling me I should never have expected them to do it!" Crazy-making!Passive-aggressive people are fearful of competition, conflict, dependency, and yes, intimacy. It's like their behavior is pushing you away, while their words ask you to stay. Confusing!Do you have someone in your life who can make chaos out of thin air? Could be passive-aggressive traits that are making you crazy? Listen today.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How do I know if a person is passive-aggressive? Where most passive-aggressive behavior comes from within an individual Crazy-making effects of being around passive-aggressive behaviors for long Why passive-aggressive people delight in their ability to create chaos Hallmarks of the passive-aggressive personality I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #emotional abuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #verbalabusers #passiveaggressiveSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Verbal Violators in any work situation make working together next to impossible. At a minimum, they make you cringe, avoid, and prefer to take sick days over going to work.In my book, Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work, I talk about folks who commit "malpractice of the mouth!" Those are verbal violators, verbal abusers. These folks have control issues that lead to anger issues that lead to rage and lack of reason. And, they think they're right.You know that I talk about my term, Hijackals®. Those are the difficult, the relentlessly difficult people in life who just have to run everything, including their mouths! Well, you meet them at work, too.In today's episode, I'm giving you some thoughts on how to proceed when you're around folks whose "mouths enrage before their minds engage" as I say in Wrestling Rhinos.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Three things that definitely cause verbal violence to erupt Two things that must happen to make the working environment safe for all What to do if you are the violator How to speak up and set boundaries if you're being violated I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #verbalabusers #verbalviolence #conflictmanagement #angermanagementSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Is your relationship one-sided? Are you wondering if it's you? Does your partner have to "win" always? Is everything your fault? You're already confused, just the way a Hijackal® wants you to be. A Hijackal is a person who behaves in ways that are common to people considered to have narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, or antisocial behavior patterns. I created the term, Hijackals, so that you would have a way of talking about the behaviors without trying to make a diagnosis. You simply need to know the signs so that you clearly know what's really going on in your relationship.Hijackals love to reel you in with what is called "love-bombing." They have the ability to seem to be all that you ever wanted, your perfect partner, your soulmate. Then, once you've committed to them--and, oh, they're fast to want you to move in, marry, get pregnant--so that they can give up their false front and go back to being their real selves. Nasty, right?For today's episode, I'm reading my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, which you can download HERE. You know if you're with a toxic, difficult person. Believing it is another matter. Most good people actually hope and believe that they can be more loving, kind, compassionate, patient, forgiving, compromising, ______, and then the HIjackal will change. S/he will change because they will finally believe they are loved.NO! It doesn't work that way. Hijackals simply always want more...until you are worn down, torn down, and put down and there is nothing left of you, your self-esteem, or self-confidence.LISTEN TO THIS OVER AND OVER AND LET IT SINK WAY IN! It could be that you had a HIjackal parent, and all this bad behavior on the part of a current partner or ex seemed somehow normal. NO! It isn't. HINT: Listen again if you need to.I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/ESCCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetworkSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oh, that's crazy-making, right?You try to talk about your feelings and you get shut down?In today's episode, I give you insights into this whole nasty process of being blamed for being overly sensitive when you're actually speaking up for yourself when attacked.You know what I'm talking about. IT HURTS!Are you told that you're being overly sensitive too often? Hijackals® can be brutal. Nothing can be their fault, so everything has to be yours. When they want to put you down, and keep you down, they tell you how hopeless, useless, and worthless you are in SO many nasty, overt AND underhanded ways, right?And, when you speak up for yourself, they tell you that you are overly sensitive, that you have a thin skin.Or, the worst, that they were just kidding! You know so well they were not, but you also know that they take absolutely no responsibility for anything they do or say, so everything has to be your fault.Speak up for yourself, and a #Hijackal will say anything to squish you like a gnat! Today, I'm giving you insights into this nasty behavior, and a very good practice for how to respond effectively...over time.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Why telling you constantly that you're overly sensitive is abusive What's really going on this dynamic between you at that time What to practice saying to yourself to get ready to respond well How to speak up effectively for yourself...and, it works! I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to my Optimize Circles my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls at least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/ESCCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #communication #overlysensitive #speakuptoabuse #highlysensitiveSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Has your partner every just stopped talking to you when things weren't going his or her way? Or, when you weren't doing exactly as s/he wanted?And, then, the next things: THE DREADED SILENT TREATMENT! The silent treatment is punishing, punitive, and often the way a person who wants power over you thinks they can control you. Sometimes, though, that other person--or, maybe, you--don't have the skills or confidence to manage conflict in any other way.Why do people use the silent treatment? They want to demonstrate power over you They think you'll give in if they hold out long enough They want to punish you by withholding love or intimacy of any kind They lack skills to communicate about difficult things...and they won't risk trying. They are afraid they'll lose, so they don't start the conversation. Any of those sound familiar?It's not uncommon for people to get scared, and then, get very defensive. That often even escalates into anger. Things can get very touchy!People will react in out-of-proportion ways when they are feeling their self-worth is attacked, or in jeopardy. That's often when they pull of that move: the dread silent treatment! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: You can learn better ways to communicate whether you do the silent treatment, or you're on the receiving end Find out what's driving that silent treatment Find the willingness to listen without judgment or defensiveness What emotionally mature people do when conflict arises I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and: access to a Emotional Savvy Circle my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/ESCCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #stress #self-care #emotionaldistressSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.