Retro Radio Podcast

Joe Friday is on Robbery detail, and with partner Frank Smith, he has just captured the bad guy, and they have all the evidence they need. Now Joe needs to find the missing loot. The suspect isn’t talking despite Joe’s best efforts. With all the usual leads used up, a phone call from an informant comes in about some stolen goods being fenced. In voiceover Joe tells some of the police procedure involved in tracking down their man, and how they might try to approach their target. There’s nothing on this guy, only in handling stolen goods, so can he be convinced to give up the goods? The mystery partner is yet to be found, but there’s still some questioning to do, and a helpful bartender is key in sharing information. It could take some effort to subdue that drunken barfly, but the good news is that she knows about the bad guy. The bad news is that the robber is being released, so there’s a race on to get to the goods first. Even worse news, a body is found. Does Joe catch his man? Can he get the evidence he needs to pin the murder on him, and put him away for good?

The mood of the show is set when Lou enters in circus tights. He and Bud fire off the jokes about the circus, and circus animals. The discussion drifts to wild animals, Tarzan, and making movies. Somehow the guys end up on a virtual lion hunt, with Lou as the mighty hunter, and Bud setting up the scene and delivering the straight lines. Back on the circus midway, it’s fun with sideshows. Bessy May Mucho arrives to share her cracker jack, and drive Lou nuts with her manner of speech. Mel Blanc provides voices for a variety of characters. Ken Niles and his radio wife, played by Alvea Alman swap insults with Lou about her appearance, and horses. Later Lou is told that Mrs Niles is going to have him fired, but it doesn’t stop the insults or animal jokes. Still checking out the side shows, an exotic dancer becomes the center of Lou’s affections and jokes, before circus manager, Mellonhead kicks him off the lot. To redeem himself, Lou gets to run a sideshow game. Hey, what are all those guys doing with those baseballs, and looking at Lou that way for?

Gracie is trying to dig up dirt to write about in her new gossip column. She may not be up to speed on the political scene that Drew Pearson writes about, but she has a knack of knowing about Hollywood rumors. Even if she has to make them up herself. Bill Goodwin enters to suggest that Gracie hire a good snoop reporter to hit the streets for her. Can Bill do it? How about Meredeth Willson? Inspired by their latest movie, Gracie goes to hire one of the Marx Brothers to spy for her, like they did in their film. The only brother home is Harpo, and for being known as the one who can’t speak, he surely makes himself understood to Gracie. meredeth Willson plays, On Mobile Bay, an old tune that leads to a commercial. George isn’t impressed with Gracie’s decision, but Harpo enters to tell about… er… honk about his big Hollywood news. Gracie learns about the big star, and the knock out date he went on. The sound affects tell the story. He may not be able to serenade the girls like Frankie Sinatra, but he has his harp with him and plays, Stardust. Gracie wants a juicy story about a robbery, and sends out her star reporter. In the meantime, the Happy Postman pops in with the latest on dedication to his duties as a postman. Not to mention his nonglamorous marital life at home. Maybe Bill Goodwin’s commercial will help his home life? Harpo returns to share his juicy story, but why is there so much silverware falling out of his sleeve? Just how big are his sleeves, and how much did he steal anyway?

Miss Brooks talks about the things that occupy her time, and the odd concoctions that Mrs Davis makes. At school, Connie is on the way to the cafeteria for lunch. Mr Conklin talks to Connie to express that he is fed up with the comments about the state of the food served in the cafeteria. Miss Brooks is tasked to get the feel of the students on the topic. At least she gets to draft Mr Boynton to help her. Mrs Davis pops in to bring Connie the lunch she forgot, and to talk about various topics including her sister Angela. Stretch intercepts Connie on the way to the cafeteria to warn her of the boycott, and student uprising led by Walter and Harriot. As faculty advisor to the student body, the teens read Miss Brooks a list of their grievances. Things are looking bad for Connie, but it gets worse when a reporter for the town newspaper is present, and hears her make a compromising remark. Connie manages to delay the boycott, then goes to discuss matters with Mr Boynton. They share a lunch together, but in the science lab, not the cafeteria. Just Boynton, Connie, and Macdugal the frog. They are joined by Mr LeBlanche, the French teacher, he’s pleasant to Connie, but he makes Macdugal nervous. Miss Brooks is worried that Conklin will catch them eating lunch outside the cafeteria. How disloyal. No worries there since Conklin has his own lunch locked in his safe. As Conklin tries to enjoy his lunch, the reporter shares what he has learned about the student boycot, and Connie’s remark about the cafeteria. What does the reporter propose? How can Conklin, and the school save face? A quality meal is to be hired to be catered in to impress the reporter. It seems to sove the temporary problem of bad press, and gives the students a break from the usual gruel, but I doubt it lasts.

Today is that day wen man first lands on Mars, with all it’s secrets to be revealed. A rocket lands in the dark. April 20, 1987. Wow, so that’s when it was. Funny, I don’t remember that happening. Although I think I was out of the country at that time. The captain of the Naval vessel prepares his crew for what to expect, and rules to follow once they open the airlocks and take their first steps on the Red planet. The astronauts nervously smoke cigarettes, and talk about their hometowns. Wow, now that’s intelligent, smoking in the high oxygen environment in their space craft. The landing party exits. What will the trigger happy crew find? A regular old fashioned house, complete with crowing roosters, pianos, porch swings, and everything a hometown back on Earth would have. What logical reason could be behind this? Has the rocket ship went backward in time, and landed on the Earth of 1928? One of the crew finds his grandparents, and they claim that they’ve been there since they died several years before. Is Mars heaven? Back at the ship the captain thinks they’re being overrun, but it’s a swarm of long dead relatives there to greet the crew, and welcome them. Reunions and celebrations are the word of the day. Everybody but the ship doctor seems to have found family members on Mars. It’s time to call it a night, but should the crew return to their ship, or just stay with the new found relatives. In the wee hours of the night, the ship doctor and captain talk about the happenings. The doc hits on a theory of what’s going on, but will anybody believe him? Is there some kind of mind control trick going on? What will be the fate of the heros in the cfrew when the Martians show their true faces?

Doc pops in at the jail to make small talk with Matt. Chester joins in with a report of a robbery. Homer is a man who takes the blame for stealing a few potatoes out of hunger, but the man pressing charges wants justice and is ruthless about it. Matt and Chester have to leave town on business, and let the man go on his own recognizance, after getting him a warm meal at the Long Branch. The loss of a few potatoes is only a few pennies after all. Homer is ar from being a serious, career bandit. When coming back to town, Matt finds the man with the robbery complaint against Homer is now demanding Homer’s arrest again, this time for murder. When Matt looks into the matter, he learns that Homer has been busy at his new job, but his alibi is thin. All the circumstantial evidence is looking bad, but Matt is willing to stick up for Homer. The judge, and his circuit riding legal team come to town. It’s out of Matts hands when the case is moved into the courtroom, and the judge and jury take over. Witnesses claim they saw Homer rob the store. The defense lawyer just accepts the evidence, and leaves poor old Homer hanging out to dry. There’s no challenge or a closer look at the implausibility that Homer is really guilty. On a break, Matt takes his concerns to the judge, but the judge is more concerned with his bottle of whiskey, and just wants to rush this through. It’s a serious crime, and deserves the penalty, but it takes Matt, using his style of rough justice to make the judge see that the evidence on Homer is too thin, and they simply have the wrong man. What does Matt have up his sleeve? It seems he picks up the drunken judge on a bribery charge. It’s not clear that Homer got off his sentence, but Matt promises to do all he can to discredit the judge and his hired lawyers for the travesty of justice they are responsible for.

Robbery detail: Joe Friday and partner, Frank Smith, answer a call at a downtown store. The cops go to interview the victims and witnesses. The story of the robbery and shooting comes out. The trail of clues take Joe on a trail that leads to a nightclub. The torch singer showcases a new song of the times. There’s soon evidence that indicates narcotics are involved. The net begins to close around the suspect. The pressure is put on. The man spills the beans, and it’s a story of how drugs ruined his life, and drove him into a life of robbery that ended up in a murder.

In preparing to travel to Chicago, Rochester helps Jack get packed up. Medication, clothes, and reading material. Elsewhere, we find Mary with her new maid, packing and making arrangements for the milkman and other such services. Mary Livinggstone is packing the same book as Jack, but what are the names of the three children in that story? At Phil’s house, he gets a little help from his daughter. Phil has the same reading material, and that running gag about those kid names takes yet another turn. We find Dennis talking with his mom about the trip, and that same book again. They also talk about Jack’s contract with Dennis, before he sings. His song is snipped though. At Don’s house, he says his goodbyes to his wife, and jokes about that same book, sort of. The audio skips a bit, but we land back with jack and Rochester as he heads to the vault for a little spending cash. At the train station the cast all converge, and Mel Blanc calls out the departures, while Frank Nelson works the concession counter, and Kitzel has his ever present hot dog stand. The Colemans make a quick appearance to say a goodbye to jack. Note: Phil has his trunk full of bottles. A gag that imitated real life. One of Jack’s writers is reported to be a heavy drinker… OK, more than one of Jack’s writers were reported to be heavy drinkers. But one in particular is known to load his trunk up with booze, while carrying his clothes on his body. He just didn’t want to be caught short of his usual supply. Also the girl who played Phil’s daughter in the spots on Jack’s show would also play one of his girls on his own show.

In the living room of the small house halfway up the next block, Sade tells how she pulled some strings to get Vic a special ride to Chicago. Though the idea may sound adventuresome to Vic in certain circumstances, he doesn't relish the thought of a 140 mile ride standing up in the cab of a locomotive. It's a business trip, and Vic would rather be relaxing with the rest of the passengers. Can his neighbor, Mr Donahue even let him ride in the cab legally? Would this scheme lower Vic to the status of being a hobo? Poor Vic, though Sade tried to save him a few bucks, and enjoy an adventure to boot, he just isn't happy with the inconveniences. Someone may have to eat crow if Vic backs down from Mr Donahue's grand offer.

Bunko Fugitive detail. A secretary comes to the police station to report that her boss skipped town, and Joe Friday is on the job with partner, Frank Smith. The naive woman, Clara Gibbons, shares the details that ad up to document that something is wrong about the way her boss does business. She has only been with him for just 7 months, and was offered vacation time and an all expense paid trip to Hawaii. admits to not being the best stenographer or typist, not the best looking. Her mama thinks the man just wants a secretary who isn't too bright. It isn't enough to pin a crime on, but the situation has Joe Friday's interest. Clara tells how the office was cleared out, and more details about the business that sold uranium stock. Even the bank accounts were cleared out, and when Frank checks with City Hall he learns that no such business was ever registered. It's enough to get the cops out to the building to see the vacant office, an impressive office but empty none the less. The building owner gives Joe a bit of a hard time, but isn't too concerned since his rent was paid in advance. Since the rent was paid, and the secretary was paid up, who is this con man cheating? Joe checks with suppliers to find that no stock was ever purchased by the bogus broker. Clients are soon turned up to fill in details how they bought stock in highest of confidence. When the victims learn of the scam they are outraged, speechless, embarrassed,but the picture of how the con man gained his foot hold emerges. Bogus charitable donations of stock are made, and a word of mouth campaign spreads word about the aledged trustworthy company with the good investment. Joe puts the word out to other cities of how the con man works, and reports come back that he has been active in several places. Weeks pass and the secretary again approaches word that the con man is back in town, she says her mama saw him, and mama is always right. Before Joe and Frank can head out though, a phone call comes in. It's the cops in Utah, and they say the bogus businessman was just arrested there. It looks like mama isn't always right after all.

Lou is so determined too star in the new production of the film about Napoleon and Josephine that he comes to the studio dressed as napoleon. Bud and Lou joke as they compare Lou to the great film lover, Charles Boyer. They talk about Lou's qualifications to be the lead actor. Bud plays along, and is willing to help with a love scene for Lou to show his stuff in a romantic moment, and they take turns swapping the guy and girl roles. Classic comic moments for sure. Carl Hoff plays You Got Me Crying Again. Lou is excited after coming from the studio. Will he actually get the part? After being turned down by the studio, Lou goes on the street to take a poll. First stop is to one of Lou's old girlfriends, Bessie. Then Mel Blanc puts in a few good words to show support. Scotty Brown, the Scotsman, has a comment on the topic. Mrs Niles swaps insults as Lou tries to gain her support for his film. Amy Arnelle sings, Give Me a Little Kiss. Still determined to play Napoleon, Lou announces he'll do a play. After Mellonhead does a little heckling, he agrees to produce the production. Parts are assigned, and the spoof of a production begins. The play may not resemble the film, or the story, but yu can count on plenty of jokes at every opportunity. No topic is safe from the jokes, anything related to being French, girls, puns, horse races, and more.

Background note: Dinah Shore had been out of commission, and to fill in for her is Francis Langford to sing, A Night to Remember. With Dinah recovering from laryngitis, George and Gracie has been given a full hour to present Gracie's play. Gracie fills Francis in on the details of her play, and getting Charles Boier for her leading man. In flashback, Gracie recounts the night before, and how she came to have dreams full of Charles Boier. What does he have that George doesn't have? In her dream, Charles plays the part of George. A matter that confuses Gracie over the romantic change in George. Until she wakes up. Compare the dream sequence to the one in Burns and Allen – Gregory Peck. 490106. In the morning, everything reminds Gracie of Charles Boier. The Happy Postman visits with his usual sunny comments on his married life. But he has troubling news with the letter he delivers. Guess who refuses to perform in the play? The team of Harry Vonzel, the ad pitchman for Dinah Shore, and Bill Goodwin, the pitchman for George and Gracie, get together to present their own play for maximum sponsor impact. Stand by for a mock daytime serial, and a quiz show Francis Langford sings, O What it Seemed to Be. Gracie has been out trying to alert her club to the lack of their star. Who can the desperate Gracie get for the romantic lead? George drops hints, Meredeth Willson arrives to suggest himself for the part. Who will Gracie get? Who can replace Charles? Stay tuned for... Part 2: Gracie and her Ladies Uplift club have been planning a play. The final problem is to convince Charles Boier to play the lead. Though he has turned her down, Gracie manages to play on his emotions. Will the famous lover feel sorry for poor little ol' laundry woman Gracie? Let's just say that Charles gets revenge for her by forcing George to do his laundry. The mistake is revealed, but for the sake of art, Charles rescues the world from George, and his bad French accent. Elsewhere, Francis Langford is asked on a date by Bill Goodwin, and Harry Vonzel. At the battle of the sponsors, which will she choose? Francis sings, Temptation. The parts are passed out, and everyone gets the first look at their parts. Somehow George ends up as Raul the French lover and rogue, while Charles has a hard time with his brogue as the Irish cop. Can George carry off the part of a romantic lover? Will Charles be able to tolerate the lines he is forced to read? Will the show go on? Dinah Shore makes an appearance to stop the fiasco.

As Connie Brooks gets ready for her day, and picks out a dress, she talks with Mrs Davis. At the movies the night before, Mrs Davis saw Stretch at the movies with Harriet Conklin. Before school the two best friends, Walter and Stretch, come over for breakfast. Such inseparable friends, nothing could come between them, right? What will Walter feel about having Stretch going out with his long time girlfriend Harriet? Stretch shows off how good a driver he is during the drive to school. Things could get troublesome when the gang stop to pick up harriet Conklin. Walter hasn't yet been told that she has been seen out on the town with his best buddy. Once Walter makes the connection, he won't stand for being made a fool, and he demands satisfaction from Stretch. The two of them are to face off after school. Connie offers a solution. Since the challenge went to Stretch, he has the choice of weapons. She suggests a battle where no one will get hurt, a battle of wits. By lunch time, the word about the grudge match has spread like wildfire through the school. Connie appeals to Harriot to do what she can to diffuse the situation, but she is enjoying the attention too much. Would Mr Boynton be so romantic as to fight for the hand of Connie? Boynton has skipped having his usual lunch with Miss Brooks so he can enjoy a meal with his pet frog, MacDugal. Connie wants Boynton to stop the fight, but he has actually arranged for the two friends to duke it out with boxing gloves. He feels the release of teenage energy will do the boys good. Connie trries to see what Boynton would do if he saw her out with another man, but he is too logical for her. His sense of humor rubs Miss Brooks the wrong way so she goes to Mr Conklin with her troubles, and wants him to intervene with the upcoming fight. Conklin has never been impressed with Walter, and actually seems to like the idea of Stretch dating his daughter, in fact he's so moved that he volunteers to referee the fight. After school, Conklin runs the show as referee, while Connie is the ring girl to count down the bouts, and to give the play by play. Walter waits for the blows to fall, but Stretch isn't mad at his little friend, and no punches are thrown. The second round begins, and the two friends have second thoughts. Taking wild swings with eyes firmly shut, Walter lands one, and the match is over. Did Stretch take a fall? The only person hitting the mat is Conklin when he sees who won the fight for his daughters hand.

As the end of the school year comes to a close, Archie and Betty sit on the porch, talking about their Summer plans. Betty takes offense when Archie reveals his plan to go to Stevens Lake, because Veronica is going there. After some changing of minds, and having to backtrack with parents, Archie once again changes his plan when Veronica tells him that her plans have changed. Back to plan A. Time moves on, and the teens enjoy an afternoon at camp. Archie gets the job of escorting a young gal around camp. Though he would rather take her to watch the rest of the baseball game in progress, she prefers to take a long walking tour. The teenage gal seems to have romantic inclinations, but Archie isn't paying attention, but when she insists on going on the lake, it turns into an adventure that leads to being rescued from drowning. Archie is annoyed, but the girl is grateful. In the end he regrets not listening to his uncle, and camp counselor, when he gave those lectures on honesty and following the rules, and Jughead ends up with the rewards that were due to Archie. Note: This episode runs for only about 13 minutes. At the time of this posting, I haven't been able to track down the full show. if someone out there has a copy, please let me know. PS: This is also likely the wrong date for this episode. if it ran in May of 1946, it would either have aired on May 1, or May 8. Given the topic of camp, it may have aired later in the Summer. Or a different year entirely.

Matt meets Kitty on the streets early in the morning. She's on her way to do some horseback riding, and Matt is already well on a trend of making mistakes today. He doesn't notice Kitty's riding outfit, but then, Matt sees riding horses more of a work related, and less pleasure. The socializing is cut short when Matt has to respond to a shoot out, and a man who is close to death. The man can't describe his killer except in general terms. A big red headed man, who meets the description of a long standing rival. The description is enough to get Matt started. The main suspect, the red headed man, seems to have an alibi, but can he be trusted? Would the dead man lie about who shot him, just to lay blame at his old rival's feet? Matt keeps making mistakes when he lets Chester take the suspect to jail. Chester never actually thought the man was guilty, and it was easy for the prisoner to make a jail break. When Matt returns from checking on alibi's, he blows up, and releases angry steam at Chester. Matt is faced with a decision. Should he let the red headed man go, and look for the real killer? Time on the trail is time lost from a hunt for other suspects. Matt takes Chester and they head out after their escaped prisoner. With a little time on their hands as they set up camp for the night, the lawmen make amends, and make small talk. Suddenly in the dark of the night,, and start to make their move to catch their man. It takes until sun up, but tHe redheaded man still claims that he had nothing to do with the killing. Back in town Matt finally gets his chance to check with doc, and the alibi of their suspect. Will the story check out? Will there be light shed on the real killer? Will Matt's hard luck day finally end with success? The story checks out, and the real killer, a gambler is exposed. The trouble is that the killer flew the coupe while they were on their wild goose chase with their suspect. PS: In the world of Gunsmoke, some things don't work out to make a pretty picture. Bad decisions are made, and the consequences have to be lived with. Hey, it is a chancey job that makes a man a little bit watchful, and a little bit lonely.