Geoff Lloyd with Annabel Port

It's Valentines Day, but we're not getting all gushy, soppy or any other word that sounds gloopy but means romantic in a sickly way. We hear tales of despair, heartbreak and unrequited love. And it's bloody brilliant, so there.

Are you mothered? Do you mother? Do you have pets that have a boyfriend or girlfriend? What is your daily checklist? All these vital issues and more will be discussed inside- so dive in, it's perfectly safe.

Happy Pancake Day! To celebrate Geoff gives his thoughts on North Korea's nuclear test and asks if you've ever humiliated yourself in a new job

Geoff's thoughts on the Pope resigning, we hear from someone who went to the doctors on someone else's behalf and we ask what your parents have done with your old room

The end of the week and we're asking for your stories of living in a pigsty (not literally)

Geoff's gutted that Theo will be leaving Dragon's Den so we try and decide who should replace him, we're also asking for goat stories, no idea why but it seemed to take off. Find out how Annabel gets on clearing the name of Genghis Khan

Did you know that when Geoff was a lad, rather than buy him pencil rubbers, his dad would tell him to use stale white bread? Inspired by this, we ask for other stories of dads fixing problems in unique ways, and not inspired by that, we ask for stories of the sweetest tooth, plus much more besides; I mean, I can't summarise everything that happened...

Once when he was young, someone told Geoff that "Calippo" was the word for a lewd work in Spanish, and he believed it for years. Anyway, that's just ONE of the many things discussed on the show today, and some of the items discussed are even better than that, so what are you doing? Dive in!

The team return for a new week, (they're contractually obliged to do so), and ask searching questions such as "are pennies good or bad?" and "what has made you feel like you're in a film even though you're not in a film?".

It's the end of the week and Geoff has managed to burn his bum on a heated towel rail. This prompts us to ask what injuries you've had causes by houshold objects. Geoff also questions Gareth on his housemate selection process.

As is traditional on the last show of Janurary, (it's not, I just made that up), we discuss ways of getting back at your boss, your personal bests at made up things, and we talk to the wonderful Alt J who did a session for us.

Geoff uses all his presenting skills to bring you this podcast, which contains the Gypsy Kings on a plane, a man scaring a pigeon and Geoff explaining why he'd be a good jester for the rich and spoiled.

Geoff is back, questioning why Absolute Radio staff are given such rubbish biscuits in the staff canteen, what you chose to do a project on at school, and whether hedgehogs aren't reproducing due to it being too painful. We also make a map of fictional places.

Geoff ponders all manner of things today, including monkeys in space, wedding rings, and the odd things that people have in their gardens. We also hear his thoughts on Brian Cox and Annabel gets a new assignment for the week. It's chocca block with podcasty nuggets.

It's the end of the week and it's Burns night- it's TWO things! In honour of said Scottish special day, we ask for stories of Scottish people you know (Great Scots), and also things you've burned.