Save The Marriage Podcast | How To Save Your Marriage | How To Stop Your Divorce

Does it feel like a storm is swirling around you, pushing you back and forth?  That is a typical, but not particularly helpful, in a marriage crisis. In fact, when our brain is in crisis mode, it hijacks our body and our mind.  You become less effective in your efforts to save your marriage. The […]

What happens when you and your spouse just don’t see eye-to-eye?  How do you get past it? Perhaps the real issue is about values.  Do you and your spouse share the same values?  Or more precisely, do you and your spouse even talk about your values? Many times, it is not a matter of values […]

You may be familiar with my 3 C’s of working on your marriage.  Today, we make a shift and look at the 4 P’s of maintaining your mindset and approach. How do you save your marriage when you keep getting pulled off balance by the actions (or inactions) of your spouse?  You stick with the […]

Mind games.  We all play them.  But what if you are playing the BIGGEST mind game with yourself? I have news for you:  you are!  I know, because I often do the same thing.  In fact, not recognizing this important fact almost cost me my life! There is a simple solution that can give you […]

Stuck.  Not a fun place to be.  But the reality is that “stuck” is really a feeling and not a reality.  You are only as stuck as you believe you are. Does that mean you can get anything you want?  No.  But that does not mean you are stuck.  There is a crucial shift you […]

Expectations.  We all have them.  Some, we agree upon.  Some, we don’t even know we have (or that our spouse has them).  But they can play havoc on a relationship. If you find yourself frustrated with your spouse over what he or she is not doing — or if your spouse is frustrated with YOU […]

Do you know your boundaries?  Do you know the boundaries of your relationship? Boundaries mark how you expect others to treat you.  It is a way of keeping yourself safe — and relationship boundaries keep your relationship safe. I think about them like a fence.  If you build a fence in your backyard, you are […]

I can’t tell you how many times I have had someone tell me, “I am no longer in love with my spouse.”  And while they are in my office, I get it.  They call each other names, insult each other, blame, are unloving, and disrespectful. And in the midst of all that, there is a […]

How do you know whether to keep trying or to give up?  Why are some marriages impossible to save, while others just require more effort?  Are there factors that make a marriage harder to save than others?  Is there a time to stop trying? I hear these questions every week, as people try to decide […]

Your “mindset” is how you think about your world.  For the most part, a mindset is hidden from you. . . which is why it is a problem.  If you believe that you can or can’t do something, part of the issue is your mindset — especially if you think you can’t. Do you find […]

People are quirky.  We all have strange and interesting habits and interests.  No two people are alike. Yet all of us crave one thing:  validation and approval.  We did it in high school (“I am SO different, along with everyone else”) and we do it through adulthood. In fact, one of the aphrodisiacs of a […]

You can say it many ways:  “keeping score,” “tit-for-tat,” “keeping a ledger,” “looking for the balance book.”  If you run your marriage that way, you are headed for trouble. Problem is, it is perfectly human to make this mistake.  And in the midst of a marriage crisis, more likely. Are you asking, “why am I […]

It seems that every single day, and sometimes several times a day, I get an email asking a question about trust:  “How do I rebuild trust after doing something wrong?” and “How do I trust this person after what he/she did?” Trust, it seems, is a bit more complicated than first glance would indicate. I […]

Apologies.  We all do it — but do we do it right? I remember being held by the scruff of my neck, forced to apologize to my brother.  I was neither apologetic nor conciliatory.  I was, however, captive.  So I apologized. It was a good idea.  It is just that my heart wasn’t in it. […]

Just the other day, “Sue” wrote me to tell me she was ready to quit.  She told me that her husband had been involved in an emotional affair, and she discovered the emails.  When confronted, her husband told Sue that he did not love Sue and had been unhappy for years. Sue decided to take […]