Save The Marriage Podcast | How To Save Your Marriage | How To Stop Your Divorce

Desperation.  It is never a good guide.  Desperation leads you down any and every approach.  And in the process, you get nowhere. I know, because I have seen it happen.  Someone will say to me, “I’ll try anything to save my marriage.”  And they try everything. Book after book, resource after resource, and unfortunately, trick […]

Just the other day, I received a message from someone who said she wanted to save her marriage BUT she was afraid.  She told me about the fear that gripped her, SO she couldn’t work on saving her marriage.  I tried to have a discussion with her, but she had a mistaken belief that her […]

Sometimes, I am working with a client and suggest an approach, only to hear the next week, “I did that, and I (added this twist), and things got worse!”  I always ask, “Why did you do that?  Why did you make that change?”  And usually, my client says, “It seemed too simple.” We humans are […]

Stephen Cove, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, noted that you should always start with the end in mind. Great advice.  If you don’t know where you are headed, how will you ever get there? When I was a child, I loved maps (truthfully, I still do).  I would study the globe and atlas, […]

Let me just be clear that I have never been cool or hip enough to tell someone they are “dissing” me — at least not with a straight face! But many people are doing that — dissing their marriage, with 5 different levels of “dis.”  Ending in a Disaster! Think of these as layers — […]

Let me say it here, in writing:  I am NOT opposed to marital therapy.  I am quite concerned, however, on how marital therapy happens now.  I am concerned about the effectiveness of marital therapy.  And I am concerned for people who blindly seek out marital therapy, expecting it to help. If you don’t know it, […]

We all have ideas, “mental models,” of what things are and how things work.  Those models tend to change over time, both throughout history in in your own life. A great example is marriage.  Did you know that several millennia back, a marriage was a property transfer?  A man needed help, a wife and kids. […]

Hurt.  Blame.  Hurt.  Blame. The dance goes round and round, each person dancing the steps.  That dance isn’t fun.  But it certainly seems to be a popular dance for couples! Every relationship has its unique “dance,” and both people generally stick to the same steps. . . until it doesn’t work anymore. Then, the marriage […]

A marriage crisis doesn’t ever start as a crisis. It may start as a deficit in action or understanding, inattention, neglect, or some small altercation. But it can spread over time, engulfing the entire relationship in crisis. Many times, people tell me, “I should have taken action long ago, but _______.” Fill in the blank […]

We tend to love the “new.”  A new outfit, new car, new year, new whatever.  It always feels like a fresh start, full of possibilities.  But the newness tends to fade fast.  Then, it is just another outfit, just the car you drive, just another year. Take that car, for example.  If you are like […]

Yep. Just break your agreements.  All of them. No, not your agreement to take out the trashcan, clean the house, bring home the paycheck, pick up the kids, or some other agreement you have WITH your spouse. Break your agreements you have ABOUT your spouse. Your agreements are your beliefs you have “agreed” with yourself […]

It may not be on purpose.  But many couples commit relationship murder.  They kill their relationship by accident. So far, I have NEVER had someone tell me they intentionally set out to slay the marriage.  But the result is the same.  Voluntary or involuntary, the killing of the relationship is the same. Let me just […]

You probably know my 3 C’s — Calm, Constant, and Consistent.  That is how you want to carry out your plans to save your marriage.  (Listen to this training, if you aren’t familiar. CLICK HERE ) There is a reason for those 3 C’s:  the 3 A’s that you want to avoid.  Those three things […]

Let’s just start with a question I hear all the time:  “My spouse doesn’t want to work on the marriage.  So, there is nothing I can do, right?” Wrong. This is one of the top myths about saving your marriage. I work with many people who are trying to save their marriage with a spouse […]

What do YOU believe about marriage?  Is it a myth?  Can it get you into trouble? Have you ever heard the myth that you marry your “soul mate”?  Well, that myth can cause some pretty big problems. How about the idea that you should never go to bed angry?  You will end up tired and […]