Bad Movie Podcast

MEGAFORCE! This is what you'd get if you let HotWheels design your army vehicles. The military uniform of the future is a gold spandex jumpsuit - with no pockets.  Barry Bostwick and his blue ascott bring the pain. Rating: FOUR mighty Stella Stars!

A martial arts movie where a caucasian olympic gymnast battles Yugoslavians on a pommel horse in the town square of the Village of the Damned. Yep.  That happened.  How bad?  THIS BAD. One Stella Star!

The HORROR of GIANT RABBITS! Well, ok, there wasn't much horror. The rabbits were mostly confused about what was going on. DeForest Kelley... also confused about why he's in this movie. Think of this as a belated "Easter Special". This episode is not to be missed! KILL DA WABBIT! KILL DA WABBIT! We'll give this 2 Stella Stars!

Peter Weller, Christopher Lloyd, Jeff Goldblum, John Lithgow, Clancy Brown, and more!  An amazing cast for one weird-ass movie.  Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers take on the evil Red Lectroids from the 8th Dimension, with the help of the rastafari Black Lectroids from Planet 10.  If that didn't make sense, none of the rest will either.  Hang onto your socks, we're going for a ride!

Flash! AAAAAaaaaaaa! This movie shouldn't be as good as it is. Yet, it's one of the best of the bad! How many times can I abuse Freddy Mercury's sound byte? Find out here in Episode 12! You've seen this movie... right? I can't believe anybody who loves bad movies hasn't seen THIS beast. If not, RUN - don't walk - to get a copy of it. In fact, it just came out on Blu-Ray I heard. This one's dedicated to Klytus, baby. We'll give this THREE Stella Stars!

Death Race 2000, the David Carradine camp-fest from 1975.  Carradine, Sylvester Stallone, the bad guy from Karate Kid, and assorted babes race coast-to-coast scoring points for running over pedestrians.  It's sort of Cannonball Run with carnage for score. We'll give this 2 Stella Stars!

Caveman, from 1981 with Ringo Starr, Shelly Long, Barbara Bach, and John Matuszak. I had pretty fond memories of liking this movie as a kid. It was goofy fun. For bad movie night podcast fodder, however, it was pretty uninteresting. Just wasn't so much fun to talk about. We DID manage to create a new review score based on it... the measure of uninteresting movies. The "Ringo Starr". This is opposed to the "Stella Starr" of excellence. We award Caveman with: 2 Ringo's.

Space Herpe, we love you. Hard times in space. Water is the only thing of value, and a band of bumbling pirates is out to steal some ice cubes. Instead, they end up with a princess, two donkeys, a goat, a space herpe infestation... and amazon riding unicorns. Pretty much. We'll give that ONE STELLA STAR!

Space Hunter - 1983. Molly Ringwald will not shut up. For over an hour. Nag nag nag nag. OMG. I don't know how Peter Strauss could stand it.  I also don't know why he carries shampoo around on his Batman Utility Belt.  Some things cannot be explained... IN SPACE!  Michael Ironside is a human crane-game villain. There is a MAZE OF DEATH!! The score:  No Stella Stars. Bleh, but amusing. + Bonus points for ERNIE HUDSON, pre-Ghostbusters.

Rosie Grier and Ray Milland star in "The Thing With Two Heads". This is the best movie we've seen since Star Crash.  Seriously. We rated this one: 4 Stella Stars! Better late than never!  I borked the audio encoding, so had to re-upload it.  We're taping "Space Hunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone" tomorrow! Follow us on twitter @jnjosh and @aszurom !!

Sean Connery Con-a-Thon, featuring Highlander 2 & Zardoz! Zardoz speaks... to you!  I'd never seen Highlander 2 before (for good reason) and Josh had never seen the magical Zardoz.  We fixed that.  Oh, did we fix that. Either one of these movies alone would have ended a lesser career.  Sean Connery is a hardy bastard though, and it took League of Extraordinary Gentlemen to get the job done.  We don't dare swim in that turd-bucket though.

Clash of the Titans 2010 Review! This is a spur of the moment thing we didn't really plan on doing. However, this movie sucked so bad, we feel we're doing a public service by venting about it a little. Here's a few words from the Boston.com review: Seen in 3-D, the film’s action scenes are an incomprehensible blur of poorly defined visual logic, and while some of the computer-generated monsters and mythical creatures hold their lines well, the coal-black winged horse Pegasus defeats the computers’ algorithms to the point where you often can’t tell which wing is on which side. Yeah.  Also see this post here from Alan Duncan - it sums up my feelings completely.

The Phantom Menace! We were going to tear this movie up, but once we really started watching it we realized what a masterpiece of storytelling it was. What a great movie this turned out to be! Then, this:

Stop-motion animated giant robots battle for the future!  It is post-World War III. War is outlawed. Bad movies are still legal though.  This episode is a double feature! We covered Robot Jox 1 & 2.

In space... no one can hear you stink. Boy they were in a hurry at Toho to get out something to cash in on that Star Wars mania.  They tried, and failed.