Bad Movie Podcast

H3 has nothing to do with the first two movies. That didn't do anyone a favor. Everyone in this movie deserved to die, and I think we died a little watching it. Negative 4 stars. As low as you can go without having Ringo Starr or Nick Cage actually in your movie. We even invoke the name of Cage because this movie is worse than Ghost Rider. This one's dedicated to the Brawny paper towel guy. Cleanup in aisle five!

What's in the basket? Sibling rivalry. It's a bromance, where one brother is nuts, and the other is a lump of homicidal grotesque in a wicker basket. Filmed in a service elevator - not kidding. Belial should have quit while he was... a head. (Ba-dump... kshh!)

Ringo as Merlin, and Nilsson as Count Down. A musical of sorts. Surprsingly not as terrible as I expected. About 40 min in, we talk about REAL sewer monsters... Cameron Village Butt Weasles.

EQUINOX! Pack up the Mystery Van and ride along as four college kids explore a gateway to hell... THE EQUINOX! Btw, hell is full of playdoh monsters. Just sayin.

Blacula! He's Dracula's soul brother, and one bad mutha... hey, wait a minute. He was a pretty cool cat. We'd hang out with him. We have similar taste in movies.

CROM!! Bring us a movie worthy of Arnold!  And if you don't... to hell with you!

Bigfoot. RUUUUUaaaaaaaaurrrrrrraaaaarrrruuur. this movie really sucked. 2 Ringos, and that's being kind. PS - Careful if you stop to take a whiz roadside in bigfoot country. Whooo.

"Piranha 2 is the finest movie that has ever been made about flying piranhas." -- James Cameron. Nuff said.

Blue Demon and his posse of masked wrestlers do battle with Black Hand and his army of super-midgets in this 1971 uh... classic? All I know is, I want that soundtrack.

Spaghetti Road Warrior. That sums it up. Why are people in superhero costumes? Armored golf carts? Hey, what are they gonna do to... OH MY GOD. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Tell me that didn't happen, please.

Hailed as the worst bad movie of all time, it's TROLL 2. Well, we'll be the judge of that claim. We saw it and OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Predator? Predator! With Reb Brown! Except not so much Predator, as it is a steaming pile. But hey, we gave it some Stella Stars. I think 2? or was it 3? It left me with brain damage. Eeep-beep-a-dee-bee-boop-greasy!greasy!

Space Mutiny - The Adventures of Blast Hardcheese... er, Reb Brown in SPAAAAAACE! This is 4 full Stella Stars. It caused laughter to near hyperventilation. This movie raises the bar for Bad Movie Night festivities. Rating: FOUR Mutinous Stella Stars!

American Ninja 2 - Two Army ninja-Rangers are sent to a tropical island paradise, and stumble upon an evil drug lord and his army of genetically modified super-ninjas! And that's the part that isn't absurd.

Hawk the Slayer: Ripping off the plot and style of a spaghetti western and dropping it in Dungeons & Dragons land. That's a great idea... right?  Right?  Maybe not so much?  1981's Hawk the Slayer has our hero rescuing the nuns from evil Jack Vader Palance, before he ties them to the fantasy equivalent of the railroad tracks - or something like that. Yeah, we gave this one Stella. It's pretty funny, but kinda groany.  More cheese than LOL.