NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

Comedian Mike Cronin joins Patrick and Roy Johnson in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We talk about everything that has happened thus far in the week, including some drunk and rowdy audience members, as well as Patrick making out with an old cougar. Mike makes a confusing joke, and Roy explains to us exactly what goes on in his comedy classes. Patrick is upset that Roy seems to have warned everyone that he’s an asshole, and is also fascinated by an order for Patrick not to have sex with a certain friend and employee. Lots of stuff covered in this one.  

Patrick is joined by former regular cohost Roy Johnson in Tulsa, Oklahoma to do some comedy shows. Oklahoma is like another planet where everyone is super religious and they take it pretty seriously. Roy’s friend and comedian Lacey Hunt joins as well to get drunk and talk about her affair with a married man as well as the rest of her sordid past. She may or may not be very overweight. Curt Fletcher, another local comedian and Zoot Suit Riot fan joins in as well. We walk down memory lane with Roy, find out when Wolf of Wall Street came out, and so much more.  

Patrick is off to Tulsa to do some shows and Mikey is preparing to return home to Edinburgh. We recap the last few days of the Super Bowl weekend by telling you all the latest weird things the members of the Queefsquad are up to. We have an intervention for people who do drugs but don’t enjoy drugs. Penn and Teller aren’t doing a good show right now, and we’re embarrassed to have seen it. Patrick still plans to quit smoking because Mikey is puffing away. We have invented a new movie game. Patrick may or may not have malaria after displaying many of the symptoms.  

Super Bowl Sunday is here and Shooby has landed in Las Vegas. Edinburgh Mikey joins to talk about Super Bowl predictions, bets and how much money companies are paying to be a part of this shit show. We turn Shooby on to Demolition Man, and contemplate a visit to the best Taco Bell in the world, allegedly. Patrick recaps the weird events of the weekend, including all of the drama going on at the Queefhaus. Finally, Patrick has a real shit caper on his hands, and needs your help.  

It’s Super Bowl weekend and there’s a lot of weirdo NLO fans wandering Vegas. This show attempts to catch people up with where Patrick has been and some of the stories from overseas. We also dive in to some of the drama already settling in the Queefhaus, a shady AirBnB rented by Wes and a few other of the die-hard nuts, the Queefsquad. Patrick thinks smoking is disgusting. Steve Curran smokes half a pack of cigarettes an hour. We try to fix some of the world’s problems on a grand scale.  

Comedians Tommy Sinbazo and Erik Woodworth join Patrick from Djibouti, Africa. Patrick and Erik are relieved after venturing out in Nairobi, Kenya and feeling like everyone they met was out to kill, rob or rape them. From trying to sell you bogus cab rides to packages for safaris, the Kenyans do not see many white people and they were a little too eager to help. We break all the rules in Kuwait, and find out what soldiers do in their spare time to base bathroom facilities. Enjoy!  

Comedian James Hesky and Shooby meet up with Patrick in NYC for one of the first shows of 2018. Shooby is fresh off the boat from his fourth Holy Ship attendance, the annual maritime EDM orgy that he attends in the Caribbean. His friend from Florida is also sitting in with us to provide some perspective. Hesky has invited us in to his home, and we are getting drunk off of bourbon while we look at the bowling trophies he’s won at family reunions. Patrick is off to the Middle East and Africa to do comedy.  

Comedian Matt Markman joins Patrick for a late night Saturday show. Patrick has been battling being sick again, and is sick of it, especially before a trip to the Middle East and Africa. It will take everything medical science has to avoid Malaria. Little Caesars is selling hot an ready pizzas for five dollars, and we call then to find out more. Matt explains what it takes to be a dad around Christmas time. Patrick debates becoming a completely willy comedian and never offending anyone again.  

Fan favorite host and blast from the past Chef joins Patrick in studio for a pre-Christmas show. Chef was in town to watch the Tampa Bay Lightning lose to the Las Vegas Golden Knights. We also have been running around and playing poker in Vegas like the old days. Chef has pivoted in to a career where he helps people baby proof their homes, and Patrick seeks some advice on that front. Patrick gets a Christmas delivery. Chef hates tiny toilets, and so much more. It’s like the old days again.  

Patrick apologizes for the unscheduled hiatus. It’s nothing that can’t be explained with a long disgusting description of gas issues. As a result of being sick for days of back to back weeks, Patrick has been watching a lot of Netflix. Chef is on his way to visit and he has very high demands of his airline. Omarosa doesn’t really do much, but she’s been fired from the White House for some reason. A woman at Starbucks hates Koreans, or Orientals as she calls them.  

Comedian Matt Markman joins Patrick for a late night show from Las Vegas. Patrick is still adjusting to living in a land of spiders and scorpions. There’s some jokes about pedophiles the probably shouldn’t be written out here, we decide we are doomed to hackers and companies like Amazon and their Alexas, and we think Donald Trump is drunk or has had a stroke. Finally we watch a report from one of the best on-scene reporters to ever grace the Internet named Rhoda Young.  

Canadian comedian and all-around freak JJ Liberman is in studio to discuss his Vegas adventures. JJ has been playing poker for a few days and is up thousands of dollars, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have time to shower with a male escort at his hotel. This story and more as we dive in to what it is that makes JJ special. Basically, he dates men and women. Get it? We discuss everything from anal sex to the trial of our most beloved sexual predators by social media.  

Comedian Skillz Hudson is in the studio to get really high and talk a lot of shit. Skillz is two blunts deep, and opens up about a lot of personal policies he carries in his life. For instance, he doesn’t like to climax during sex, and he loves to shop for his merch by hand. He saves that for his alone time. We talk about the latest shooting in California, and Patrick learns how to play dice from a pro. Patrick is older, Skillz is afraid of bongs, and not all black people look alike.  

Patrick is joined by comedian Alex Ansel in studio. Alex used to go by the name Kool Aid, but is trying to shed that moniker. Alex was opening on the road for Jake the Snake Roberts, but also has a history of various jobs, from selling herbal happiness to teaching comedy driving school. Patrick loves his giant tub. We bring back the tradition of the dollar wall. Kevin Spacey seems like he might be a bigger creep than Patrick thought. You shouldn’t shove old cotton swabs in your ear.  

Patrick is settling in to Las Vegas and it has a lot to offer. The process of moving across the country is tedious snd time-consuming, and of course nothing goes as smoothly as planned. Kevin Spacey has pissed off Hollywood by using accusations of another actor as an opportunity to announce his homosexuality. Who saw this coming? Corey Feldman promises to out a Hollywood pedophile ring if people give him ten million dollars to make a movie, but this guy seems more nuts than anyone he may be accusing.