The Art of Charm

"What makes homo sapiens the dominant force on the planet for the last 150,000 years is the brain." - Tai Lopez What would you call a man who spent his teenage years in a mobile home park, lived with the Amish for 2.5 years as an experiment, was a professional tango dancer, dated a Brazilian model, was a self-made millionaire in his 20s, has authored several books and today attends Warren Buffet's annual Berkshire meeting? You'd call him Tai Lopez. An aspiring Renaissance Man, Tai has excelled at a variety of endeavors and has learned as much as possible along the way. In this episode we talk about a host of topics including how to earn and deserve what you really want in life, why the 4 Hour Work Week is a myth that won't make you happy, why you should go straight to the top when seeking counsel and why the more you learn, the more you'll earn...and loads of other valuable content. More About This Show: Tai is clearly a man with a passion and zest for living. He has what most of us would consider the "good life": he's healthy, wealthy and dates beautiful women. And he's learned what it takes to earn all of those things: he says you have to deserve it and you have to work for it...but it is yours for the taking when you do. He believes books like Tim Ferriss' "Four Hour Work Week" give us the mythical notion that we only have to work four hours a week and we'll make $10k a month in passive income. Once we do that, we can go out and do the things we love to do, like learn the art of the tango in Argentina. Tai disagrees, he doesn't believe financial success happens by only working four hours a week, nor can we find real happiness that way. He believes there are three types of happiness: the hedonic life or a life built around the pursuit of pleasure (which is the category most people pursue after reading "The Four Hour Work Week"), the authentic life and the meaningful life. It's in the last one that we find the most joy and the most fulfillment; we reach this state by aligning our work and our love. So loving what we do is key. Another contributing factor to our happiness is experimenting. To that end, he spent 2.5 years living in an Amish community as an experiment. He wondered what it would be like to live without a material focus and he knew living with the Amish would be the ideal setting to conduct his experiment. The finer details of this show include: Associative Cognitive Bias: what is it and how does it work? Why he loves Ray Croc of McDonald's story. How fear impacts our brain and how to annihilate it. The hereretical factors that influence women's attraction. What is selective proceptivity and why should you care? And so much more! Coming from a very humble background, Tai has long been fascinated by people who have done great things with their lives. He's made it a habit to study these people, and he has a few practical tips he's learned along the way. The first tip he gave was the 1/10th rule. He says whoever you copy and surround yourself with and idolize, at best you'll do 1/10th of what they do. In other words, if you want to learn how to earn money and you copy, study and idolize people who have made money you're going to earn 1/10th of what they earned. So you have a choice: copy, study and idolize people making $500,000 and you'll earn $50,000 OR copy, study and idolize people who earn $300 billion and earn $30 billion. It's up to you. The other tip he has is the 33% rule. It goes like this: spend 33% of your time with people below you, mentor others. Then spend 33% of your time with people at your level, friends, etc. Spend the remaining 33% of your time with people above you, people you are uncomfortable being around because they are so much further ahead than you are. These are the people who are 10-20 years ahead of you. Most people don't do this last one and it's critical to growing, learning and earning more. His final tip is to learn more so you earn more. He has rich friends and he has poor friends, he never lets friends go just because they aren't at his same level. He says the difference he sees between his rich friends and his poor friends is that his rich friends are constantly learning. Invest your time and your energy in learning more and getting better at what you do in life. All three of these tips highlight the importance of going straight to the top when you're seeking advice or you want to learn something. Tai says to be humble enough to listen and learn from everyone, because ultimately everyone has something to teach you. But in the end, heed the advice that feels uncomfortable to you: that is how you'll know it's truth. Tai goes on to say if you're going to learn from the best and heed their advice, you have to go after it. Bill Gates isn't going to send you a Facebook message and spoon feed you what he knows. You have to be the one to pursue his knowledge and his advice. You're the king of the jungle so go after it! Having Tai on the show was informative and insightful; he has much to share on so many topics. I hope you enjoy listening in and thank you for joining us. Resources from this episode: Tai Lopez web site Tai on Twitter Grinding It Out, Ray Croc Civilization and Its Discontents, Dr. Sigmund Freud Made in America, Sam Walton You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"Anybody can accomplish amazing things if they reflect on what they value and then fully commit to it." -Dr. Heidi Reeder What does commitment really mean? Is it just a matter of will power and determination, or is there more to it than that? Joining The Art of Charm to answer all these questions and more is Dr. Heidi Reeder. In episode 290, Dr. Heidi provides the science and the data behind the most pressing commitment quandaries in business, relationships and life in general. More About This Show: What exactly is commitment? Dr. Heidi, who has written for "Psychology Today" and appeared on "The Today Show", defines commitment as being psychologically attached to something and intending to stick with it. So it's a longer term process and perspective than determination and will power. Dr. Heidi would know, her career focus is taking rigorous social science research and finding the application for it, such as her book "Commit to Win" and the 40 years of research it's based on. In this episode, she shares evidence that commitment is more than determination and will power, the 4 main factors that predict commitment, what random rewards are and how to utilize them in our relationships, and whether moving in together before marriage is a good idea… and many other commitment-related topics! On the first topic, Dr. Heidi says the differentiating factor that makes a commitment a commitment is that commitment has a long-term perspective: you're psychologically-attached and you stick in there to find and create the good. It's like wedding vows, they are a promise you make on your wedding day. Your commitment is everything you do after that day. The finer details of this show include: Sliding vs deciding: what is it and why does it matter to your relationships? Familiarity does tend to breed liking: true or false? The sunk cost effect: what is it and what does it have to do with commitment? Why people with the gold memberships at the gym never show up? The Forbidden Fruit Hypothesis: fact or fiction? And so much more! She also explains the four factors that predict commitment: treasures, troubles, contributions and choices. She also explains what each of these are. Treasures are the things that we value in a situation like a job or a relationship. If it's a job do we feel our skills and creativity are being fully utilized? Are we being paid appropriately? Things like that. Troubles are obviously the detractors in the situation. Is our commute to work terrible? Does our boss not respect us? All of these are troubles. By nature as humans we look at the balance of these. Do our treasures outweigh our troubles? Then we're satisfied. If troubles outweigh the treasures, we are not satisfied which may lead us to look for a new job. One interesting point she raises is that satisfaction doesn't equate to commitment. That's where the other two factors of commitment come into play: contributions and choices. Contributions are what we've put into the situation. If you've been at your job for a decade, you've invested a lot of time and energy. If you've helped build the company, you've invested a lot of "sweat equity". In either situation, you've made considerable contributions to your work situation which may cause you to stay. Which segues next to the fourth factor: choices. Even if you've been with your company for 10 years and helped build it, if you believe you have choices (either real or imagined) it can play a significant role in how committed you are to your job. Another fascinating topic is random rewards and how this is useful in increasing commitment in our relationships. A random reward is something unexpected, some kind of reward we receive out of the blue. For example, everyone can bring flowers or cook on Valentine's Day but if you do it on a date that has no significance you're providing a random reward for your significant other. There is immense satisfaction we receive from random rewards. And I asked Dr. Heidi something I was dying to know: what does science say about living together before marriage? Science says if you move in together as a trial run and then you decide to get married, you are significantly more likely to get divorced. BUT you can move in together if you already know you want to marry each other before you live together. Dr. Heidi explains the scientific data behind both statements and a whole lot more on this show. The topic of commitment is an intriguing one and I was thrilled to have Dr. Heidi's scientific knowledge explain what it is, what the components of it are, how to increase our commitment levels, and how those components impact our life choices from work to relationships to marriage. I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I did! Resources from this episode: Dr. Heidi's web site Heidi on Twitte Commit to Win, Heidi's book I Am Alpha's web site I Am Alpha on YouTube You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"Every communication is two conversations: the content and the body language. When the two are aligned, you can be successful." - Nick Morgan Did you ever do something and then think, why the heck did I just do that? Our guest for episode 288, Dr. Nick Morgan, can shed some light on that for you! He says there are two parts of every communication, and he explains what they are in this episode. Nick is the author of "Power Cues", he's also a keynote speaker and one of the top communication theorists. Today we talk about the two parts of every communication, as well as how our unconscious determines most of our communication, how we can influence the emotions of others by cultivating those emotions within ourselves, the primal power of vocal tonality and how to focus on our own emotional power in crucial moments to leverage it for success. HATE CLOTHES SHOPPING? VISIT BOMBFELL TO NEVER DO IT AGAIN. AND SUPPORT THE SHOW More About This Show: Nick's early career began in the academic world. He was a professor of public speaking and earned a Ph.D. in rhetoric. Til one day a friend of his asked if he wanted to see if he had what it takes to make in the real world. The invitation was to join the governor of Virginia's office as a speech writer. And so Nick accepted the job, pole-vaulting his career in a new and public direction. Since the governor's office, Nick has written testimony for Congressional members, he's written speeches for Fortune 50 CEOs, TED talks and TV. He's certainly well-versed in communication and the impact it has on our lives. And one of the things he's studied at length is the role our unconscious plays in our behaviors, our actions and our results. He says our unconscious guides our actions, including our body language. And in order to control this we must be aware of the internal conversation happening in our minds and our bodies and then practice shifting them. When you can control your own attitude, you can reset your unconscious to dictate positive behaviors which will lead to positive outcomes. You can confidently walk into that all-important meeting or securely ask out that amazing woman by retraining yourself to perceive the situation in a positive way. Visualization is a key tool to use. It's what Olympic athletes do to reassure their unconscious mind that things are going to go exactly as they want and they will be victorious. In short, Nick says we have to align our beliefs and our intent, then our body will fall in line. We shouldn't leave it to chance, we really can take charge of our unconscious communications. It takes time and practice but there is big, big pay-off. The finer details of this show include: Body language or content: which wins every time? How many millions bits of information is our unconscious mind taking in every second? What is the friend or foe zone and why does it matter? Why charisma isn't something you're born with. Can you read others' body language to know what they're going to do before they do? And so much more! Nick and I talked about so other fascinating topics. Like did you know you can influence other people's emotions by being in a particular state yourself? Mirror neurons work unconsciously to reflect the emotions of people around us. If someone's in a bad mood, you can usually feel it. If someone's happy, it's equally contagious. You can use this effect to your advantage: if you want someone to feel relaxed and happy around you, tap into those feelings yourself. Their mirror neurons will pick up on that and they'll begin to feel relaxed and happy with you, often without knowing why. Another facet of this topic we tapped into is how to read others body language to know what we're receiving from them. Most of us know about the open and closed body language signals, but by simply listening to our own unconscious reactions and feelings about the other person we can know what they are feeling. From knowing this you can determine what they're about to do, before they do it. One last piece we discussed - which was utterly fascinating to me - is vocal tonality. Did you know that when we get people together in a room, we unconsciously elect a leader with the sounds of our voices? It's true we do. And within 5 minutes after a small group has gathered, we line up our undertones and overtones with the person who is the leader of our group. The great thing about this discovery is that we can increase our own undertones in our vocal range to increase our chances of being perceived as a leader. Nick gives us some real-life examples that highlight this phenomena. Nick was a veritable wealth of information on the importance of understanding and controlling our unconscious mind and it was a pleasure to have him on the show. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and will use some of the actionable items he passed along! Resources from this episode: Nick's web site Nick on Twitter Power Cues, Nick's book You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"It is our emotional experience that makes the difference in how we're learning." - Hunter Maats Can intelligence and mastery be learned or are we all innately good at some things and terrible at others? Is there really a "math" gene or can anyone, with enough practice, become great at Algebra? Hunter Maats, our guest for episode 287, says if you've learned one thing in your life, you can learn anything. And he is here to share the science that supports this belief. More About This Show: Hunter Maats, founder of Straight A Conspiracy and Harvard graduate, joins the Art of Charm to talk about numerous aspects of how and why we learn. To name just a few topics, we discuss the impact emotions have on our learning experience, the fallacy of genes giving us certain traits and not others, what the worst idea ever is and why you should forget it immediately, the danger of the 10,000-hour rule, and automaticity. On the point of emotions impacting our learning experiences, Hunter says science is now showing us that attitude and perspective make a significant difference in our ability to learn and retain something. For example, if you've ever said "I feel stupid" you're exemplifying his point. Stupid is associated with an actual feeling - shame. If we get something wrong and take it personally, we feel ashamed of our mistake and call ourselves stupid. There's nothing genetic about it, it's just our emotions and our personal association with the mistake. If we could change our perspective to simply acknowledge our mistake, examine it to learn where we went wrong and what we could do differently next time, we remove the shame and the feeling of being "stupid". You can change any experience, any mistake you've made by shifting your perspective and your attitude. Again, it has nothing to do with "certain genes" giving you certain talents. If you're willing to learn from a past failure, you can improve in that situation going forward. And if you approach every failure this way, you'll do nothing but get better and better. Need a quantifiable example? Airplanes. Though they weren't the safest machines when they were invented, today they are a regular part of most people's travel plans. And do you know why? Because after every airplane failure, the situation was examined until it was uncovered where things went wrong and what could be done to prevent the same mistakes in the future. Those preventions were put in the place each time a mistake was found and today, airplanes are safer than walking. The finer details of this show include: Team Descartes and Team Newton: dispelling the myth of gravity's discovery What's the best way to get people interested in you? Bill Bradley's practice strategies that led to becoming one of the greatest basketball players ever. The lesson from a Stone Age village in Papua New Guinea Why ADD medications effect everyone EQUALLY: the science behind it. And so much more! After Hunter and I cover that topic thoroughly, we discuss what he calls "the worst idea ever". What is it exactly? The idea that some people are either born smart or stupid. He says toss that idea out - stop thinking that you're either smart or not, you either have "it" or you don't. Science has yet to find a gene for above average to genius level intelligence. We haven't found any evidence to support a genetic link to intellect. That doesn't mean there isn't one, but we haven't found one yet. So get rid of that concept so it stops holding you back. Though we haven't found any genes that make one person more intelligent than another, we have found our brains to be flexible and adaptable. It's something we have as human beings: a capacity to adapt to our surroundings and circumstances. And that boils down to our brain's capacity to change and learn new things when we allow it to. Think that's a myth? Hunter talks about a village in Papa New Guinea where they were living at a Stone Age development level: no one could read or write let alone use modern day technology. However within two generations there has been a tremendous shift. First one man learned to read. Then this man's son taught himself how to use a computer! They went from not understanding a written language to using a computer. So if you think you can't learn to be charming, think again. And that led us into a discussion about the 10,000 hour rule made famous by Malcolm Gladwell. Hunter is in full support of this rule, with one contingency: be aware of the quality of those 10,000 hours. In other words, don't focus on the quantity of the practice, focus on the quality of it. Hunter calls this fix it focus practice. Pick something you want to work on - something specific - then fix whatever isn't working in that area and then focus on fixing it. Once it's fixed, move on to the next big. If you were a basketball player and wanted to become great, you would focus on one thing you didn't do well like free throws. That's your area to look at what isn't working and then fix it by working at it until you've got it down. You would do nothing but free throws until you were great at them and then you'd move on to the next thing, focus on that and fix it. One last topic we touched on was automaticity, or how our brains can do anything if we practice often enough. Think about it: you couldn't read, speak or walk when you were born. But you practiced and practiced speaking until you mastered it…then you moved on to walking until you mastered that and then on to reading. And today you do all three without thinking about them: that's automaticity and it's the most important trait of the human brain. We talk about plenty of other fascinating and cutting edge topics. Hunter seems to know every author and every book ever written about the human brain and he drops so many of them in this show! Be ready to add a LOT of titles to your reading device of choice after you tune in. A big shout out to Hunter in thanks for having me join him in person in Los Angeles; it was great to do a live show and go deep into such fascinating subject matter. Resources From This Episode Hunter's web site Hunter on Twitter The Straight A Conspiracy on Twitter Quiet: The Power of Introverts, Susan Cain The Sports Gene, David Epstein Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies, Jared Diamond Boys Adrift, Leonard Sax, M.D., Ph.D. Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and The Brain, Eric Hagerman You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"When your sleep is on point, everything you're doing is going to get better." -Shawn Stevenson Sleep: It's commonly accepted that we should sleep 8 hours a night. But is that really true? Does the quantity of sleep we're getting matter or is this a case of quality over quantity? And what does sleep do for us anyway, is it that important? Shawn Stevenson, our guest for episode 286, says it definitely matters. His philosophy is that good sleep is one of the most important things we can do to get healthy and stay that way. Today we talk about why sleep matters, the impact lack of sleep has on our health and how an orgasm before bed helps us all sleep better! MORE ABOUT THIS SHOW: At the young age of 20, Shawn was diagnosed he had degenerative disc disease at 20: had the spine of an 80 year old. He saw 5 doctors and they all said it was incurable, there was nothing they could do. He lived with this diagnosis for 2.5 years, asking "why me" and questions of that nature. And then he decided to get well. With that decision, everything changed. He started to ask what is it that I need to do to change, to get healthy? And one of the things he changed significantly was his sleep. Six weeks later, he had lost 30 pounds and his back pain was gone. Today he helps others change their sleep and other aspects of their health to get well or stay healthy. Shawn says sleep is more than just a necessity, it's a vital component of our health that affects everything and he's got the science to prove it! He calls sleep a force multiplier: it enhances or diminishes our results in any area it touches. He says sleep impacts more than just our energy levels, it affects our productivity, our immune system, our hormones, our memory, and even the speed of our aging! One specific area we discuss is memory. Memory processing is what helps us convert something from short-term to long-term and it happens during the deep processes of sleep, non-REM sleep. Shawn has learned that when people aren't getting adequate amounts of this type of deep sleep, the brain won't be able to cement what is learned. He goes on to say one night of sleep deprivation creates a 14% reduction in glucose getting to your prefrontal cortex, which is the human part of your brain that controls your decision-making processes, your emotions, etc. In essence, you get dumber, crankier and you make worse decisions when you are sleep-deprived because your prefrontal cortex isn't getting what it needs to function properly. The finer details of this show include: What are telomeres and do they matter to you? How lack of sleep ages you faster: the science that proves this. Shift work is a Class 3 carcinogen: true or false. Why it's NOT about the number of hours you need. Horemetic stressor: when is this a good thing? And so much more! We don't stop with the brain though, we talk about how necessary good sleep is to getting and staying fit. Did you know your body actually recovers from a workout when you sleep? It does. So if you aren't getting into deep sleep, your body isn't getting what it needs to recover. Sleep is an anabolic process, which just means it is a building process. Another component of exercise is keeping your body fat low. When you're not sleeping properly, it actually causes your body to store more fat around your midsection. So if you can't drop those last few pounds around your waist, it may be because of your sleep. You also need sleep to stay young, it's called beauty sleep for a reason Shawn says! In the first 90 minutes you are sleeping, your body releases its highest levels of something called human growth hormone. Now this isn't the stuff that makes the sporting news, this is the actual hormone your pituitary gland secretes. And human growth hormone has been shown to keep us young, it's that thing that kids have that gives them so much energy. Shawn is a big proponent of taking action to get optimal sleep so he gave us some strategies you can use, starting tonight. One of my personal favorites: why an orgasm before bed provides some of the best sleep possible. There is scientific evidence to prove this and he gives us the lowdown! Shawn was a fun and informative guest; he listed a number of fascinating studies to back up his philosophies. I learned so much from him and I hope you do too. Resources from this episode: Shawn's web site Shawn on Twitter Sleep Smarter You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"Paradoxes are powerful. The main paradox when it comes to being charismatic that you want to create, is to create the paradox of strength & warmth ." -Isaiah Hankel Most people believe charisma is something you’ve either got or you don’t - that you’re somehow born with it. Not so according to our guest for episode 284. Dr. Isaiah Hankel is an author, biotech consultant and successful owner of three multi-national businesses. He’s worked with clients such as Amgen, Pfizer and Roche. And he’s presented at such esteemed academic institutions as Harvard, Stanford, Oxford, Cambridge and The Curie Institute. MORE ABOUT THIS SHOW: Isaiah Hankel has a Ph.D. in Anatomy and Cell Biology but at one point he was a sheep farmer! He was also diagnosed with ADD and ADHD and he struggled through much of his academic career. It was that struggle which helped him understand how to focus in a way that allows him to create dozens of entrepreneurial endeavors, build thriving relationships and travel the world as a speaker and author. Today he combines what’s he has learned from his sheep, his academic studies and his entrepreneurial life to speak to audiences around the world on focus, purpose and other topics, like charisma. That’s one of the topics we touch on: the actual science behind charisma: what makes one person interesting and another person forgettable. He says the charisma that makes one person interesting can actually be scientifically proven because it can be broken down into components and studied. He gives us the 7 components of charisma and the studies behind each! The finer details of this show include: What is the skill set that 60% of job applicants lack? True or false: there’s a small “brain” in your gut? The best and worst days to ask for a raise, according to studies. What trick can you use if you find your mind drifting while talking to someone? People 90% more likely to get this after a raise, what is it? And so much more! One of the key components of charisma we talk about at length is being present. And we don’t mean “I’m one with the Earth now” or creepy, scary tool guy present! The kind of present we mean is showing up to give another person or a project our undivided attention and focus to effectively create partnerships, relationships, and the business results we want. We go into the other six components of charisma (expressiveness, sensitivity, self-control, clarity, mystery and paradox) in detail too. We discuss what each component means, the scientific studies behind the importance of each component and tools to begin practicing today. One of the fundamental takeaways to get from Isaiah is that charism and the ability to influence others is knowing when and what is best for the other person, not just yourself. We went on to talk about other aspects of emotional intelligence and sensitivity, one of the components of charisma. For example, Isaiah also tells us why reading fiction material actually increases emotional intelligence. He points out which types of fiction do this the best, so you can take action on this nugget now. Other actionable content Isaiah shares is willpower depletion and how to rule your emotions with an iron fist. On the topic of willpower depletion, Isaiah gives us two scientific studies that prove we have a finite amount of willpower we can use throughout the day and how stress and worry actually deplete those levels and lower performance. On ruling your emotions with an iron fist, he shares how we can stay even-keeled no matter what emotions we’re feeling or their intensity levels. By simply doing the opposite of what we’re feeling we can balance our emotions out. He also gives us a specific question we can ask ourselves to rule our emotions with an iron fist - both awesome nuggets you can use right now! Dr. Isaiah really was a fascinating guest, clearly he’s got the charisma thing down because I will remember this episode for a long, long time! I think you’ll get a ton of actionable items out of this interview so I hope you enjoy it. Resources from this episode: Isaiah's web siteIsaiah on TwitterBlack Hole Focus, Isaiah's bookRobert Greene on The Art of CharmThe Hour Between Dog and Wolf, John CoatesFreakonomics, Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dunber You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!   If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!  This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there.   Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm   Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher   FEEDBACK + PROMOTION   Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING.   Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177   Stay Charming!

"Have things come to you at the time that you can best deal with them." Ari Meisel  What would you do if you were given a diagnosis and put on 16 pills a day? Would you accept your fate or would you biohack your way to health and wellness? Ari Meisel chose the latter and he spends time talking with us about how he cured his Crohn’s. He also shares how that process led to his “Less Doing” brand, which is devoted to helping men do less and live more through optimization, outsourcing and automation. MORE ABOUT THIS SHOW: Ari’s journey began at the age of 20. He had the brilliant idea to renovate some old cigar factories into lofts and he set about doing so. What he had expected to take six months, turned into three years and over $3 million in debt. He spent those three years learning every construction trade he could and invested every bit of himself in that development. And in the process, he destroyed his body. He was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, drinking every night and eating fast food a few times a day. Within a month of finishing his construction project, he was given the diagnosis of the incurable Crohn’s Disease and handed prescriptions for 16 different pills, 16! Never one to be thwarted by circumstances, Ari decided he wasn’t going to settle for all the misery and discomfort associated with Crohn’s. Instead, he set out on a journey of self-tracking and self-discovery to finding out what would heal his body. Within four months he was off ALL his medications and six months later he was competing in a triathlon. The finer details of this show include: What is Crohn’s Disease and what led to his diagnosis? How he defines being "cured" of Crohn’s. The two main things that were the most helpful in curing his Crohn's. What's the Zeigarnik Effect and what does it have to do with To Do lists? His $8 biohack for better sleep in one night. And so much more! Though he learned much about the body and he’s since applied that knowledge to help others treat and cure their Crohn’s, the most profound lessons he learned through his healing process were on the topics of being more effective and more efficient in using your time. He discovered he had times of the day and days of the week when he was more effective. By taking that knowledge and using it to schedule corresponding tasks, he was able to be most his most efficient. For example, he found he is most creative after 8pm and he gets the most done on Tuesdays (the least on Fridays). So now when he has to do something creative, like write a blog post, he knows not to try to write it until 8pm or later at night. And if he has a lot to get done, he schedules the bulk of it for Tuesday. From that experience and with those practical lessons under his belt, he created the Less Doing brand. Now he works with clients, about half are men, to help them do what he has done: optimize, outsource and automate. He believes, and has proven in his life, that by becoming more efficient and effective, you create the head space to come up with amazing ideas that have been obscured by all the other crap you’re focused on. Another fascinating topic we talk about is why “To Do” lists don’t work and why they’ll destroy your productivity. There’s an actual psychological effect that proves his theory and we talk about in this show. Ari was a truly fantastic guest and it was awesome to have him here. He teaches so much about making the most effective use of our most precious commodity: time. He suggests some great tools and even an awesome biohack technique for better sleep, one I’ve never heard before. So tune in, check it out and get more living with less doing! Resources from this episode: Ari's web siteAri on TwitterLess Doing BookFollow UpBoomerangEvernoteAqua NotesBlueblocker SunglassesMarried Man Sex LifeAthol Kay on the Art of Charm  You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast   HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!   If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!  This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there.   Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm   Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher   FEEDBACK + PROMOTION   Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING.   Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177   Stay Charming!

When you understand these hormonal changes, it creates grace in a relationship. - Dr. Sara Gottfried Are you tired of not knowing how to cope with your woman's hormonal cycles? Of not knowing when she'll go from zero to crazy in .002 seconds? And what about your own hormones - can you manage them yourself so that you don't feel tired and achy when you get up in the morning and grumpy when you come home at the end of the day? Our guest for today's show says yes to all of those questions. Dr. Sara Gottfried, author of The Hormone Cure, is a Harvard-trained medical doctor, wife, mother and yogini. And she's here to give us the scoop on male and female hormones. MORE ABOUT THIS SHOW: Dr. Sara is, as she puts it, board-certified in everything that can go wrong with a woman's body. She knows firsthand what it's like when hormones go haywire and it was her own personal experience that led her into deeper discovery on the topic. After sorting out her own hormonal imbalances, Dr. Sara decided to specialize in helping others do the same with their hormone levels. Today she treats both men and women. She's also written a book on how to properly treat hormone imbalances and in this episode she shares much of her knowledge, her personal experiences and a lot of "how to" advice on all things hormones. The finer details of this show include: The three words to say to your woman when she's complaining. What is adrenal burnout? What common birth control method can shrink the clitoris by as much as 20%? What's the hormonal cause of Grumpy Old Man Syndrome? What is tilt and why does it ruin many relationships? And so much more! Dr. Sara and I dive deep into these topics and many more. We talk about the importance of knowing your woman's hormonal cycle and how to cope with her different needs at different times of the month. For example, there are certain times when your woman will benefit more from getting together with her friends than she will from being with you. Dr. Sara tells us how to know when your woman needs her friends and when she needs you. We also talk about the three main hormones for men and women. They are different (naturally) and Dr. Sara explores each. For men, the top three are called "The Three Amigos" and they are testosterone, cortisol and thyroid. For the ladies, she dubbed their top three hormones "Charlie's Angels". They are estrogen, cortisol and thyroid. She tells us why each hormone is important to their respective gender, how to know if any of the big three hormones are off-balance and what you can do to reset them to normal, healthy levels if needed. She also explains why you should get them checked regularly, at least every six months. We also discuss the subject of tilt: what it is, why it happens and what to do about it. Tilt is when our nervous system gets overwhelmed. Tilt has a major impact on our overall personal health and also on the health of our relationships. Dr. Sara gives us symptoms to look for when questioning whether we're in tilt or not and how to cope if we are and how to help our woman cope if she is. And two other topics I made sure we touched on are the importance of orgasms in hormonal health and the three types of girls you should run from! Dr. Sara weighs in on both. We packed SO much into this episode of The Art of Charm! I think Dr. Sara and I could've talked for a few more hours; she was an amazing guest with a fountain of knowledge. I really appreciate how generously she shared her time and her wisdom; I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed interviewing her! Resources from this episode: Dr. Sara's web site Dr. Sara on Twitter Dr. Leake on The Art of Charm OneTaste Andrew Weil, MD Imago Relationships Canary Club WellnessFX You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast   HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Imagine what you could do if you could always know what someone else was really thinking - no matter what they were saying to you. How would that change your work life, your life at home and your relationships? Here to help you do just that is Vanessa Van Edwards of the Science of People, a human behavior research lab. She's joins the Art of Charm podcast to give us the inside scoop on human behavior, micro-expressions, being a human lie detector and how to read people like a book. MORE ABOUT THIS SHOW: Vanessa Van Edwards has long been fascinated by people's behaviors. In fact, she thought she would work for the CIA or the Secret Service, until she realized that would mean interrogating people. Instead she opted to combine her interest in people with self-help for the business world, which eventually led to her joining the Science of People. The work she and her colleagues do there has been recognized around the world and has been featured on such notable media outlets as Fast Company, Forbes and NPR BusinessWeek to name just a few! In her words, her work combines "sexy science with self-help" and she brings her it to this episode. We talk about how to use non-verbal communication as a secret weapon and the art of decoding hidden messages so you know what people really mean, regardless of what they are telling you. The finer details of this show include: Can you tell someone's success or power based just on their face? Vanessa tells all. What's the facial feedback hypothesis? What's one of the hardest micro expressions to recover from? 93.6% accurate predicator of divorce - what is it? The one micro expression that can open an opportunity to connect with a woman. And so much more! In this show, Vanessa and I give you the 7 micro expressions, specific ways to recognize them, and why they are important. From anger and contempt to happiness and sadness, we dive deep into each so you can begin to recognize them in your friends, family, co-workers and romantic interests. We also talk about mirror neurons, which are like brain copy cats, and they help us "mirror" the person or people we are interacting with to create connections and that feeling of familiarity. We cover so much in this show and it's all information you need to know! This is a primary on reading expressions and the scientific research behind it. Even if you aren't familiar with how to decode body language or how to read other forms of non-verbal communication, you're going to take away A LOT from this show and you're going to be able to learn it and use it quickly. At the Art of Charm, we talk about the mind following the body and the body following the mind so having Vanessa here was a natural fit. I loved talking with her and sharing as much of her knowledge as we could on this show! Resources from this episode: Vanessa's website Vanessa on Twitter Microexpression videos You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast   HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"Nobody ever got rich working for a living." -Grandpa Tips If the 'World's Most Interesting Man' were a dad, he'd be Charlie Tips. Charlie gives parenting and life advice to those of us shooting for the stars, including: -How to educate your kids to be 'billionaires' -Why public schools actually teach poor mindsets inadvertently -How a 12 year old kid created his own high school packed with world-travel and won two Emmys by age 30 -Quora takeaways from article: no prep schools, teach generosity, love of work, and how to be worthy of wealth -How trading time for money is a losing battle, and how a total schlub learned the skills and mindset of capitalism and put it into action Here's the original answer on Quora   You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast   HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!   If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!  This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there.   Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm   Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher   FEEDBACK + PROMOTION   Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING.   Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177   Stay Charming!

"If you don't like the way the world is, you change it. You have an obligation to change it. You just do it one step at a time." -Marian Wright Edelman James Swanwick of Alpha Male Club swings by to discuss: -Why fear of success is just as real as fear of failure -Bluffing his way onto ESPN and into a job as a SportsCenter anchor -How to formulate a plan and take action despite your fear ("feel the fear and do it anyway") -Recognizing sticking points (fear) and moving forward -Why failure is an integral part of success How he stopped drinking and you can too (if you decide to do it, that is!) You'll also like: The Art of Charm Toolbox Best of The Art of Charm Podcast   HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

“You cannot run away from weakness; you must some time fight it out or perish; and if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?”—Robert Louis Stevenson We've all heard of 'flow'. That mysterious in-the-zone state that athletes, performers and other professionals consummate in their craft seem to attain when they're really crushing it. But what is it and how do we get there deliberately, calling forth flow when we need (or want) it? We'll cover that and more in this episode of The Art of Charm Podcast with Steven Kotler, including: -The flow genome project (can we ENGINEER flow?) -What is FLOW? -What happens in your brain during flow? -How do we trigger flow and harness it for ourselves? -How flow saved Steven’s life and helped him recover from Lyme disease -The flow cycle which is a roadmap for flow as well as practical things we can do and work on to make this cycle a reality for us -More bullet points, likely all including the word 'flow' at some point ;) You’ll also like: The Art of Charm Toolbox Best of The Art of Charm Podcast     HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!   If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!  This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there.   Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm   Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher   FEEDBACK + PROMOTION   Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING.   Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177   Stay Charming!

"Where you are is a result of who you were, but where you go depends entirely on who you choose to be." Hal Elrod died and came back to life. But, he didn't just want ANY old life... In this episode, we'll talk about: -How Hal went from dead for 6 minutes to ultra-marathoner to RAPPER to speaker and trainer (and yes, we have Hal freestyle the rap -don't worry) -How we cause our own emotional pain (the gap between what we wish were true and what is, and how much we wish we could change it) -Remaining positive even in the face of death and disability -Why an acute case of impostor syndrome in your career can be worse than death -The best way to structure your morning for productivity, happiness and your best shot at getting in the zone (hint: it’s not coffee and it’s not just exercise) You’ll also like: The Art of Charm Toolbox Best of The Art of Charm Podcast     HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!   If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!  This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there.   Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm   Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher   FEEDBACK + PROMOTION   Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING.   Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177   Stay Charming!

“To be in the 1% you have to do what the 99% won’t.” -Unknown Noah Kagan got fired from Facebook...and proceeded to kick ass, again and again. Noah Kagan of Okdork.com was a cubicle slave at Intel, #30 at Facebook (AND GOT FIRED), #4 at Mint.com and has gone on to start two 7-figure businesses, his latest is AppSumo.com. In this entrepreneurship-oriented episode of the show, we'll discuss: -Why scarcity mindsets hinder growth -How networking REALLY works and why you need to do it no matter what industry you're in -Tips from the pros on how to ‘get known’ -How to “give value” even when you think you have nothing to offer -Digging your well before you need it -Why it’s “all about who you know” and why this is a GOOD thing -Why spending your time with high-quality people is crucial -How to reverse-engineer anything and work backwards from what you want -How to engage your creative brain and defeat creative block -Where to start when creating and running a new business -Finding out who has your customers -Where to look for and acquire them for yourself -Where to start selling and how Testing and gaining experience to master your own business. You’ll also like: The Art of Charm Toolbox Best of The Art of Charm Podcast     HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!   If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!  This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there.   Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm   Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher   FEEDBACK + PROMOTION   Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING.   Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177   Stay Charming!

"Either you run the day or the the day runs you." - Jim Rohn This one starts off a little scattered but gets fun and goes deep quick. Jordan and Jordan (yes, we've not doubled but SQUARED the Jordan in this one), discuss: -What men have been led to believe women want in a relationship vs. what they actually need -How to get and give relationship feedback in less than 5 words -Why waiting behind self-optimization is a fallacy when it comes to finding your significant other (aka "I'll start dating again once I'm healthier/richer/etc.") -Why investing in your love life is the greatest thing you can do for your health, wealth, and happiness -How to open your woman sexually and emotionally -How and why to give your partner consistent praise and appreciation. -Why it's important to let your partner see every side of you. -How to never stop dating your partner. -How to cut out habits from your life that you know aren't serving you This is a great one so grab a notepad and enjoy! You’ll also like: The Art of Charm Toolbox Best of The Art of Charm Podcast     HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!   If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!  This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there.   Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm   Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher   FEEDBACK + PROMOTION   Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING.   Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177   Stay Charming!