The Art of Charm

Choose who you connect with wisely. "Other people have all of the critical resources to get you to where you need to go." -Judy Robinett The Cheat Sheet: How to know if you're in the wrong room. (4:30) What are the three golden questions and when should you ask them? (13:20) Your network comes BEFORE your success: true or false? (13:35) How to test for duds in your network. (29:00) How to improve your ability to ask. (36:10) How she got Mark Burnett to endorse her show. (48:25) And so much more... If someone was from a small town in Idaho would you take their advice on networking? What if they had 10 billionaires in their Rolodex, would you listen then? That hypothetical person is our guest for today's show. On episode 324 we're talking with and taking notes from Judy Robinett, a power connector, a giver and the author of How To Be a Power Connector. We'll be discussing how to be a power connector, a life hack for connecting with people who have zero time, and what makes a quality relationship...and so much more on this edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Judy Robinett knows what it's like to build a network. She wasn't born into powerful connections and in fact, she considers herself to be shy. To add to that, she lives in a small town in Idaho of less than 300 people so she's had to put in the time, effort and energy to build her Rolodex and be the power connector she is today. And she's done that by knowing the value of relationships and how to connect with people to build and solidify a relationship. She says it boils down to a few things, one of those being in the right room. What she means by that is putting yourself in the right place to connect with the right people. You have to connect and bond with people who are influential, wealthy and connected; and you have to know the right rooms to find them in. Regardless of where you are in your life, Judy says you do have something to give to these people: your ability to listen. Everyone has a problem they need solved, but all too often we're consumed with our own lives and our own issues to actually listen to someone else and hear their problems. And listening to someone allows them to know, like and trust you. And when someone knows you and likes you and trusts you, they are far more likely to help you with your problems and to connect you with their sphere of influence. If you need a way to find these people, Judy recommends joining the symphony or joining a powerful organization as a volunteer. You have something to give and you have something to offer, find a place where you can give it and connect with influencers in the process. Another life hack all of us can use to connect with anyone, even the uber-busy successful millionaires and thought leaders of the world is to attend an event they're at, meet them and establish a bit of a rapport before offering to drive them to the airport. They have to get to the airport somehow right?! If you can take them there, you'll have their undivided attention and be able to chat with them one on one. By doing so, you're adding value to their lives and making things easier for them which are two key components to building a solid, robust and successful relationship. So whether you're driving someone to the airport or volunteering within their organization or simply listening, you're adding value and contributing to that person's life. And Judy says that is one of the most important ways to start a connection that will strengthen and add value to both of your networks and both of your lives. Judy had so much value to contribute in this episode! I really appreciated how generously she shared her knowledge and insights, and the real-life examples of being a power connector are particularly valuable. I want to thank Judy for joining us and to thank you for being here too. Enjoy the episode and we'll see you next time. THANKS JUDY! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Judy know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Judy on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Judy Robinett's web siteHow To Be a Power Connector, by Judy Robinett Judy on TwitterSchool of Greatness podcast Try Squarespace (free) and support our supporters! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

Don't ever stop pursuing her. "A lot of what you do to get the girl you need to do to keep the girl." - The Art of Charm Toolbox The Cheat Sheet: How not to be needy. (12:00) When and how to use sexual banter to add fun and intimacy (23:30) The three A's to build and maintain a healthy relationship. (30:55) Specific ways to break out of a rut, and why it's vital to do so. (36:45) The importance of touch in developing and keeping intimacy alive. (42:00) The 6 second hug: how and why to use it. (43:10) And so much more... When's the last time you took your girlfriend or wife out to do something new, or to go somewhere together you've never been before? If it's been awhile, or if you just want to add some flavor back into your relationship, this is the episode for you. On this Toolbox edition of the show we're talking about how to keep your relationship fresh, whether you're still in the honeymoon stage and want to continue it or you've been married for decades and want to bring back some of the playfulness from your early days. We'll discuss specific ways to deepen intimacy, freshen up your connection to each other and generally make your relationship even better. Join us for all of that and so much more on this edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: All too often we as men stop courting our girlfriends and wives once we feel we've "gotten" them. In fact, after we've landed the girl it's time to dig in and really do the work to keep her and keep the relationship flourishing. However long you've been together, keeping your relationship with her fresh is key to its long-lasting success. A great example of something you can do on an everyday basis is to offer suggestions for your nights out. When you ask her what she wants for dinner, offer her a choice between two options. If she wants something else she'll tell you, otherwise she'll choose between the two offers you've given her. By providing two different possibilities, you're showing her you care about the experience of dinner together and also giving her room to contribute by making the final choice. Another important aspect to keeping your relationship fresh is to be vulnerable. Some simple ways to do this are to be silly around her. Do you dance and sing when you're alone, but stop the minute she walks in the room? Allow yourself to be silly and express yourself, she and everyone else will respond to your authentic passion. That ties into the 3 A's of relationships: acknowledge, accept, and appreciate. Acknowledge your partner's passions. Did she just love the new yoga class she took? Then acknowledge it, don't just nod your head and say "that's cool" without enthusiasm. Be genuinely interested in what was so great about it for her and then acknowledge it. This shows empathy which is what ultimately truly connects us to others in a deep, meaningful way. Next accept her passions, accept who she is. Does she love her pottery class but you have no interest in it? That's fine, you don't have to love what she loves in order to be successful together. Doing so shows you care about her and what matters to her. Be supportive and accept what she is passionate about, even if you aren't because that will make her feel good. And feeling good around you is key to relationships. And finally there is appreciate. Appreciate when she shares valuable information with you and is vulnerable with you. Expressing herself, sharing her thoughts and feelings with you is an act of vulnerability so appreciating and thanking her for doing so will go a long way to keeping you together. In addition to the 3 A's we dive into a few more topics, but one last one area we'll touch on here is how to break out of a rut. Justin gives us some simple methods to doing so. He recommends finding new restaurants to go to if you've been going to the same ones, go on a different hike than you've been on before, try a new activity together preferably something neither of you have done before. What it boils down to is doing something new together, it'll help reignite that spark you felt in your early days of dating or it'll help keep that spark alive if you're still honeymooning. There's so much more we cover on this episode! It was a blast to chat about keeping relationships fresh and vulnerably sharing mistakes we've made in the past and things we're doing now in this area of our lives. It was great to create this show for you and I hope you enjoy the episode! THANKS AoC! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let us know by clicking on the link below and sending us a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank The AOC on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Previous Toolbox episodes The Art of Charm on Twitter My Secret Garden, by Nancy Friday Thrillist Unencyclopedia Try Squarespace (free) and support our supporters! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

You really did learn everything in kindergarten. "Your ability to take action in the face of unanswered questions is essential to accomplishing anything of significance." - Srinivas Rao The Cheat Sheet: What are gaba levels? (4:50) What have been the two themes throughout his career? (9:30) The unhealthy myths of a "self-running business" and of being a nomad. (13:30) Why you need patience when starting any new venture. (18:00) How to get back into the creative space of kindergarten. (31:50) Google's 20% time policy and how to apply it for success. (41:50) And so much more... A bank robber. A happiness expert. A hip hop artist. A CEO of a multi-million dollar company. Can you find the common thread? Maybe, maybe not. Our guest for episode 322 can; these are all types of people he has interviewed on his podcast, The Unmistakable Creative. On today's show Srinivas and I talk about the current state and future of podcasting, why comparing yourself to others is a losing battle, as well as the roles curiosity and creativity play in succeeding at business. Join us for all of that and so much more on this edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Just a few short years ago, Srinivas was faced with the daunting task of finding work in a declining economy. He had just graduated business school and wanted to find work that would give him a creative outlet. He had had a social media internship but felt wholly unequipped to work in that field. So he began experimenting. He started a web site, but quickly stopped when he couldn't deliver on the topic of the site. Then he started a blog and started interviewing people. That experimentation eventually led to what is his podcast today, Unmistakable Creative. The show gets over 10,000 downloads an episode and allows Srinivas to connect with some of the most innovative and interesting people in the world. As we mentioned earlier, he's interviewed a bank robber, happiness experts, behaviorists and super successful CEOs. The show has been so successful and has such a wide appeal is the varied guests but also Srinivas' approach to podcasting. He views it as a craft, an art form that must be invested in, worked on and molded into its finest form. To do this, he naturally analyzes his previous shows and looks at what to do better in the future, but he also turns off distractions and unplugs. Some of his greatest inspirations and breakthroughs have come through unrelated activities, like surfing. He also did an experiment where he spent 20 hours learning to do something he was terrible at: drawing. As a result of studying the art of drawing, he also saw the impact in his business. It's a practice he recommends to everyone: experiment with art and see where it takes you. Go out and sing, take an improv class and explore the new insights it gives you. Not only will art give you insights, it also provides a much-needed reprieve from our information-overload society. Srinivas has discovered the value in unplugging and being conscious of what information he's taking in, and he suggests everyone do the same. There is scientific evidence to support him; science has shown that our environment can and does have a significant impact on our overall well-being. One final topic we discuss is the state of podcasting. We dive into the reasons why anyone doing an interview show needs to take the craft seriously and why it's important to cultivate relevant, interesting content (and why that is no small feat). Even if you aren't a podcaster or an entrepreneur, we cultivate relevant information for you in this show. Srinivas was an interesting and insightful guest, please join me in thanking him for being on the show today. It was great to talk with him and I hope you enjoy the episode! Thanks for being here and we'll see you next time. THANKS SRINIVAS! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Srinivas know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Srinivas on Twitter! Resources from this episode: The Unmistakable Creative web siteThe Art of Being Unmistakable, Srinivas' latest book Srinivas on Twitter Episode 250 of The AOC with Robert Green Knot Standard Try Squarespace (free) and support our supporters! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177   Stay Charming!  

Choose a word you can say you stand for. "You need to grab on to something that you say 'this is what I stand for'." -John Jantsch The Cheat Sheet: How long did it take him to write his first book? (10:50) You have to have a narrow niche: true or false? (13:00) What's the 6-week expert phenomenon? (15:00) The power of content creation whether you're an employee or a business owner (19:30) What causes the death of a great conversation? (26:50) How to avoid information pollution (35:00) And so much more... Many marketers and promoters in the Internet world today call themselves experts on a given topic. But check back in a few weeks and a lot of them have changed their field of expertise. And that is not how to become a recognized leader according to our guest for episode 321. John Jantsch is the author of his latest book: Duct Tape Selling. He's also the head honcho of Duct Tape Marketing, a brand and business devoted to practical, systemized marketing for everyone from employee to business owner. And in today's episode we discuss why everyone needs a personal brand, a content creation platform and specialized skills in speaking. And why these three things are so important even if you don't have a business or want to have a business of your own. Join us for all of that and so much more on this edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: John Jantsch has been called the world's most practical small business expert; he jokingly says all the other titles were taken and that's why he was given his moniker! But the truth is he is a practical expert and teacher for small businesses and employees alike. His practical teaching extends beyond small business to everyone when we discuss the necessity of a personal brand. John says branding isn't just for big companies or just for companies in general, it is for all of us. We must find something we stand for and take on a point of view, then share that viewpoint with the world. John's stance is practicality and his viewpoint has always been that marketing is a system. Others may teach and preach about the latest marketing technique, but John has always relied on his marketing system philosophy. Doing so has served him well. He's a widely-known speaker and author, the latest being the book Duct Tape Selling, but he also has penned three others. And he's been a podcaster since 2005 and a speaker even before then. When you're establishing your brand and what you stand for, it's important to tap into something you truly believe in and to stick with it. Far too many people today are what he calls the "six week expert", meaning they find a new topic and for about 6 weeks (or even less in some cases), taught themselves as the latest and greatest source for anything and everything related to that topic. Once you've found your thing, John recommends finding a platform to express yourself from. A blog is always an obvious choice since it's simple to get started and nearly anyone can do it. He also talks about the benefits of running a podcast and the access you can have to incredible thought leaders and experts, people you may not have been able to connect with otherwise. There are other platforms too, the important point here is to choose one and again, stick with it. Another great topic John and I chat about is how valuable speaking is for anyone and everyone. Speaking is like social interaction on steroids, everything you do and every way you are being is magnified on stage. Plus it's incredibly beneficial to face a fear like public speaking and act, despite that fear. To help overcome that fear, John gives us a terrific suggestion:take an improv class. He says it's absolutely humbling but it's also one of the most useful activities he's ever done for himself and for his speaking abilities. It's something he encourages everyone to do, even if they aren't interested in becoming a public speaker. One final suggestion he makes, another practical tip, is to turn our phones off for extended periods of time. He says it makes him exponentially more productive and reduces his distractions and recovery time from those distractions. Join me in thanking John for those useful tips as well as his practical insights on choosing a personal brand, sticking with your unique viewpoint and the importance of public speaking for everyone, whether an employee or a business owner. It was great to have him on the show and I hope you enjoy the episode! Thanks for being here and we'll see you next time. THANKS JOHN! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let John know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank John on Twitter! Resources from this episode: John's web siteDuct Tape Selling, John's latest book John on TwitterFeedly Try Squarespace (free) and support our supporters! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

How to listen the way women want you to. "If you are somebody who listens it gives you advantages in all walks of life. Persuaders, influencers and leaders are people who really listen." - Julian Treasure The Cheat Sheet: You hear with your whole body: true or false? (6:35) Why listening is a skill and not something that comes naturally. (15:25) Julian explains why listening is NOT the same for everyone. (21:25) What is empathetic listening? (25:05) RASA: what is it and how can you use it to consciously listen? (31:15) Why we equate deeper voices with more powerful people. (49:30) And so much more... Have you ever been working and you simply couldn't concentrate because that annoying guy in sales was so loud you could hear him clear across the room? There's actually a scientific reason it bothers you and lowers your productivity. Joining us to give us insights on to why that is and how powerfully sound impacts every other aspect of our lives is Julian Treasure. Julian is a sound expert and Ted Talks speaker who helps people understand the importance of conscious listening. On episode 320, a few of the topics we touch on are the four ways hearing touches you and impacts you, why the listening stereotype about men has some truth to it (and what we can do about it) and how we can fix some poor listening and speaking habits. Join us for an interesting and informative show!   More About This Show: All of us are greatly impacted by sound in our lives, but few of us are fully conscious of it and even fewer of us are conscious listeners. When you walk into a store that's playing loud pop music notice how your body speeds up and actually wants you to get out of the store faster! Our guest for this episode says the retailer didn't take sound into consideration when they designed their store. This behavioral response is rooted in our body's awareness of sound: if it's loud, we move away from it and if it's quiet or soft and soothing, we slow down. There are three other ways our bodies respond to sound: physiological, psychological, and cognitive. When it comes to the physiological, our bodies will speed up or slow down according to the sounds we hear. If there's loud music like in a dance club, our heart rate quickens, and our blood pressure goes up. If we are listening to the sounds of the ocean, our heart rate slows down as does our blood pressure. Sounds can even change our hormone secretions, the sense of sound is incredibly connected to our physiology and has been since we were in the womb. The psychological response to sound is similar. If we're listening to birds sing, we become calmer and more at peace. Over the centuries our bodies have understood that if the birds are singing than everything is ok in the outside world and we don't have to be on the alert. If we're walking in the forest by ourselves and we hear a branch snap behind us, sound immediately tells our brains to look around and make sure we are not in danger. And cognitively, we are bothered by loud conversations while working because our brains can only take in about 1.6 conversations at any given time. That means someone's conversation can be so loud you cannot think or concentrate, and thereby lowers your productivity in a loud office or working space. So how does this tie into conscious listening? Simply by being aware of our bodies' responses to sound we can see the immense value in what we're saying and how it's being received. If we understand that every sound, every word has an impact and a response in those around us we start to become aware of the necessity of conscious listening. And we can take this awareness into every aspect of our lives, including relationships. On the topic of relationships, Julian goes on to explain the nuggets of truth in the gender stereotype of men as poor listeners, but he says men can overcome this. Men tend to listen to hear a point and then offer a solution, most of us already know this. But that's nearly the opposite of how women speak and how they listen: they do so to share and relive an experience with their listener as a way to connect, they don't talk about problems because they want them fixed. A way for men to be better listeners in that situation is to ask the question: where am I listening from right now? If you catch yourself listening from a place of wanting to fix, be conscious of it and practice moving into what Julian calls "empathetic listening", which is the type of listening and communicating women naturally use. Empathetic listening can mean offering her a glass of wine and your undivided attention while she shares. That tip ties into Julian's recommendations to become a conscious listener and to change your bad speaking and listening habits. Simply by being aware of where you're listening from, the pace you're using with your voice, the register of your voice and your intonation you can begin to become a more active listener and a more conscious speaker. And there's lots more where that came from. Julian was a "treasure trove" of knowledge (see what we did there?) on this episode, he gave us a lot of excellent material to start shifting our listening to a more conscious place. It was great to have him on the show and I hope you enjoy the episode! Thanks for being here and we'll see you next time. THANKS JULIAN! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Julian know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Julian on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Julian's web siteJulian's latest Ted Talk Julian on TwitterMorgan Freeman chats with Jimmy Kimmel while sucking helium Try Squarespace (free) and support our supporters! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

From wantrepreneur to real-life success story. "Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don't need to escape from." - Seth Godin The Cheat Sheet: The good and the bad types of wantrepreneurs. How many views did his first article receive in its first 24 hours online? He was a bad writer in school: true or false? Why did he start his podcast? Who are some of his most notable interviewees on his show? Why you need to be the author of your own life. And so much more... If you've ever found yourself feeling stifled, uninspired or even depressed it might be because you're in the wrong career. You might be an entrepreneur trapped in an employee's life. Such was the case for our guest for episode 319. Andrew Ferebee was a manager at a big chain retailer when he realized he was actually an entrepreneur. But it wasn't one of those epiphanies he had in a nanosecond, instead it was a battle with clinical depression combined with a quest for personal growth that led him to this discovery. In this episode we cover what the experience of depression was like for him, how he moved forward with his life and took an incredible leap of faith that has paid off handsomely with his brand Knowledge For Men. More About This Show: Today Andrew is the headmaster at Knowledge For Men, a web site and podcast about helping guys create their best, most fulfilling lives. But this was a business idea born from his disenchantment, loss and depression. It all began with his first job out of college. He became a manager for a well-known retailer who gave him one of their most high-risk stores in Southern California. By high-risk they meant high problems, like sketchy neighborhood, less than stellar employees, high turnover and just a lot of headaches in general. At the same time, his social network was completely changing post-college and he lost a romantic relationship with a woman he wanted to marry. He soon found himself dreading the work day and the monotony of it. That monotony led to an episode of clinical depression that was so severe one day while driving over a bridge, he wondered to himself what it would be like if he simply drove off the edge. He wondered if it would take away all the gut-wrenching pain he was struggling with. Having a level of self-awareness, Andrew understood he needed help and reached out for counseling. He was diagnosed with clinical depression and combined his treatment with massive action and personal growth to pull himself out of his depressive state. He read tons and tons of books on the subject, in fact he still does. And he listened to hours of podcasts like this one and many others while on his way to and from work. He also made it a goal to attend meet ups and become friends with other "wantrepreneurs" and real-life entrepreneurs. Finally one day he decided he had had enough and it was time to leave his soul-sucking job. Without a real game plan, he did. He spent the first week celebrating, the second week freaking out and then published an article on a blog called Knowledge For Men. That article, without any push or marketing from him, went viral. In its first 24 hours it was read by 50,000 people. He had so many visitors to his site that it crashed and he had to upgrade! That trend continued with the next batch of content he released and he knew he was on to something. That was in the spring of 2013 and since then, he has grown his blog to become a web site and a podcast. He leveraged his blog audience to gain an even larger podcast listenership and to land such well-known guests as Jordan Belfort, the Wolf of Wall Street and Kevin Harrington of TV's Shark Tank. Andrew attributes his success to his openness to personal growth and his willingness to take massive action on goals he sets for himself. He was an attendee at our bootcamp and says it not only taught him new tactics but also helped him take action to implement them. He learned how to improve his social life of course, but it all parlayed into him becoming a more solid person and a force to be reckoned with in the business world. Please join me in thanking Andrew for sharing his stories with us. He's a shining example of how to overcome any challenge or obstacle put in your path by seeking support, setting goals and applying yourself to the achievement of them. He was a terrific guest and we appreciate him for stopping by. Thanks for being here and we'll see you next time. THANKS ANDREW! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Andrew know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Andrew on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Andrew's web site Andrew on Twitter You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

There is no straight line from your current job to your ideal career. "No matter how much you enjoy what you do, there will always come a time when it is work." - Grant Baldwin The Cheat Sheet: The myth of the perfect job and/or career. (7:00) The best time to start something is when? And the second best time? (14:45) Why you're NEVER in too deep. (19:00) Follow your passion: does Grant say yay or nay to this advice? (27:10) Why the path of least resistance doesn't work. (33:45) How many different careers do most people have on average? (44:00) And so much more... Follow your passion is almost a cliche it's been used so often. But what does that phrase even mean and is it really a good idea? Yes and no says our guest for episode 318, Grant Baldwin. Grant is a speaker and podcaster who produces the show "How Did You Get Into That?". On his show, he interviews men and women who encountered a "mid-life crisis" and got into an unusual profession or started a unique business as a result. On today's episode he and I discuss why there's no such thing as "the perfect job or career", why not to take a job solely for money, when following your passion is terrible advice and how to discover what your passions actually are and then create a job or business you love based on them. Join us as we talk about all that and so much more on this edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: One of the most challenging questions any of us will face is what to do with our professional lives. The advice we usually hear: follow your passion! But if you're like most people, following your passion means something vastly different at 18 than it does at 28, 38 or 58. Grant Baldwin knows this, he's been there. He has always known he loves speaking and loves working with people to help them find out what they want to do in the world. Today he is a sought-after speaker and also runs a podcast aimed at helping people find their path in life by hearing other people's cool jobs and unique businesses. He helps people see they aren't stuck where they are, no matter how deeply entrenched in their career choice they feel they are. One thing Grant has discovered in his journey and his discussions with people is that there is no such thing as the "perfect career or job"; everything you do, no matter how much you love it, will eventually take some work and some hustle. And I concur. But as long as you have more days that you love than hate, you're on the right path. We also agree that taking a job solely for the money it will pay is the wrong choice, but money should be a factor. So if you're looking at how to make your passions a real paying gig, money is naturally a consideration but it shouldn't be the only one. If you're thinking of going to law school because lawyers make bank, not because you love what it takes to have a career in law, you'd be wise to rethink that course. Both Grant and I agree we'd rather do something that makes us less money but makes us happy, rather than make more money and be miserable in that job or business. A common complaint both Grant and I hear is that it's too late for someone to make a change, they're in too deep with mountains of debt from school, a family to take care of, etc. And while those are always factors and considerations, Grant and I know people who have overcome all those obstacles to switch career paths, create new opportunities and new businesses that now make those same people happy and plenty of money. Grant's recommendation in a situation like that is incremental bravery. One of his guests coined the phrase and he liked it so much he uses it. Incremental bravery is taking small, calculated risks towards the goal or vision you are pursuing. In other words, don't chuck your job on Friday and think you'll find your dream career the next Monday. It doesn't work like that. But if you take steps towards figuring out what you love, what you're good at and how you can make money by combining those two, you'll be on your way. On this show, Grant gives us some actionable tips and suggestions on how to follow our passion, find our talents and then see potential career possibilities based on the combination of those two. It's real world advice to get you started on a new path towards happiness and professional satisfaction. Thanks for being here and we'll see you next time. THANKS GRANT! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Grant know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Grant on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Grant's web site Grant on Twitter5 Questions To Find Your Passion You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Proof that your network is your net-worth. "When you hit rock bottom you will be left with two things: your network and your word. Never tarnish your word and always invest in your network." - Jayson Gaignard The Cheat Sheet: Why making 22x the national average made him unhappy. (9:40) The two things that landed him in $250,000 in cash debt. (12:00) What is his perfect day exercise? (20:25) The two types of freedom. (21:40) Eustress: what is it and do you want to have it? (32:20) Event ROI: why it's been so important. (42:05) And so much more... When choosing a career path or a business endeavor, we often hear advice to choose a profitable industry or niche. But what if we we choose it, make a ton of money doing it but are utterly miserable? What happens then? Here to share his experience of that scenario is Jayson Gaignard. Jayson is the CEO and driving force behind Mastermind Talks, an event-based organization devoted to bringing the greatest entrepreneurs together through events and networking. Have a listen to episode 317 in which Jayson and I talk about how he sabotaged his first multi-million dollar company and how he then relied on his network and his word to build a new business and rebuild his life. More About This Show: There are generally two pieces of advice given to most people starting out in business or on their career paths: network and pick a profitable market to get in to. Jayson Gaignard did both with his first business. He was in the ticket-selling industry and he built a ton of high-level contacts while in the game. But it was a niche he hated. Jayson had no interest in ticket sales or the events attached to those tickets. And one day, after he had amassed a highly lucrative business, he looked around and realized he was miserable. He had destroyed many relationships while building his company, his health was plummeting and he didn't care one iota about selling tickets or taking care of their customers. Being the savvy businessman he is, he knew he should sell it and this was his plan. But subconsciously he says he was disenchanted with everything about his business that he sabotaged it, so he would have nothing to sell. When he looks back now, he understands he did so because he didn't want the burden of selling such a life-draining business to one of his friends. He had plenty of offers, but he just couldn't sell it to someone else and risk tarnishing his friendship with them if they ended up hating it as much as he did by the end! So instead, life intervened as it often does, and he found himself with a defunct business and $250,000 in cash debt. Not sure where revenue was going to come from next coupled with the stress of a newborn baby, Jayson hustled his way out the only way he knew how: his network. He began throwing dinner parties and bringing together 6-8 entrepreneurs for conversation and connection. And they were an incredible success, he knew the first night it was something he would do for the rest of his life. His next break was an opportunity to bring Tim Ferriss to Canada for the first time. Tim was in the midst of a book blitz for The Four-Hour Chef. One of Tim's package deals was to buy $84,000 of books in exchange for two speaking engagements. Not having any idea how he'd pay for it, Jayson went for it. He knew he'd figure it out. And so he did. Jayson's network came through for him and one of his friends invested the $84k to get him off the ground. Leveraging Tim's name and their mutual friends, Jayson brought together a world-class group of speakers for a mastermind weekend. From over 3,000 applicants, he hand-selected attendees and the weekend was unforgettable. The first one was so successful he has since held another weekend with the same caliber of speakers and attendees! That was how Jayson not only brought himself out of a quarter of a million dollars worth of debt, but also how he fully realized the power of a network. Today Jayson continues to host events through his company, Mastermind Talks. And he has rebuilt his work and his life around new values of integrity and connection. Jayson was a terrific guest, it was great to have him on the show and hear his story, his insights and his wisdom. Have a listen and then take action to create a powerful network of your own. We'll see you next time. THANKS JAYSON! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Jayson know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Jayson on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Jayson's web site Jayson on TwitterThe 4-Hour ChefLondon Reel   You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

Hack Language Learning. "You get to meet different parts of yourself by going through the process of learning other languages." - Gabriel Wyner The Cheat Sheet: What is the European scale of fluency? There is such thing as the language gene: true or false? A simple language hack you can do at home watching TV. How to boost your retention by 40% and 50%. The first way to start learning a language: it's NOT the way we're taught in school. Why you don't need grammar drills. And so much more... There are people who are fluent in multiple languages: are they freaks of nature or do they have the "language gene"? Or are there tricks, tools and life hacks the rest of us can use to learn and remember foreign languages? Our guest today is Gabriel Wyner is the author of Fluent Forever, a book about how to learn languages quickly and how to retain them forever. Join us as we talk about his techniques for learning a language quickly and retaining it, what the tremendous benefits are to fluency, the obvious and not-so-obvious ones, and where to get started when you decide to learn a foreign language...and loads more! More About This Show: Even though Gabriel Wyner has authored Fluent Forever, a book on language learning, he wasn't always a language aficionado. He was a good language student in middle school and high school, but only in the respect that he tested well. He couldn't speak any language he learned outside of the classroom and after awhile, he had forgotten much of the vocabulary he had learned. In college, he double majored in Mechanical Engineering and Voice. He always wanted to be an engineer so he opted to go that route, but he also loved singing so he wanted to make that more than just a hobby. As a voice major, he had to learn to sing in Italian, Spanish and German. Not knowing a lick of German, his friend suggested he go to a school in Vermont called Middlebury and take a summer program. If Gabriel opted into one of their programs, it meant he had to speak the foreign language of his program for the entire time he was there. If he slipped up, he would be kicked out and would lose all of the money he had paid to be there. It sounded crazy enough to work, so he signed up and spent the next 7 weeks immersed in German. At the end of those 7 weeks, he was a B1 or a B2 on the European fluency scale, meaning he could order in a restaurant and carry on an in-depth conversation with ease. But that wasn't enough for him, he returned the following summer and earned a C1 certification in German. That certification meant he was fluent on the European scale; in Europe, if he had wanted to, he could teach in their school system and he could write an academic paper with ease. Even though immersion works, Gabriel realizes not everyone has time for that. Most of us can't take 7 weeks off and run to Vermont to learn another language! If you're like most people and need to learn a language within the confines of a typical life, he has plenty of suggestions for you in this episode. His first suggestion when getting started is to learn the pronunciation of a language. Train your ear to hear the words in that language, before you do anything else like learning the alphabet or colors or numbers. After you've trained your brain on how to hear the language, which will take about 2-3 weeks, then learn basic words. But here's a critical life hack to doing so: use images. And not just any images, use the Google search tool in your target language to learn the images associated with words. Often simple words mean something else to their native speakers. Once you've moved through those stages, then go on to learn the grammar. But all you need is your grammar guide, you won't need grammatical drills...Gabriel tells us why. One last tip he leaves us with is a way to expand our vocabulary and become fluent faster after we're speaking a new language. When you find you don't know a word, you can either revert back to English or you can use the other words you do know in the new language and get other people to help you fill in the blank. You'll have the added benefit of having learned something new from someone (and perhaps giving them a laugh in the process), and having learned while under a bit of stress which makes your brain retain it better. Please join me in thanking Gabriel for being on the show. He was a fun guest to have on. I loved that we debunked some language myths, gave you some life hack language-learning tools and generally set the foundation for the fast, easier way to learn and retain a language. Thanks for being here and we'll see you next time. THANKS GABRIEL! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Gabriel know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Gabriel on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Gabriel's web siteFluent Forever, Gabriel's book Gabriel on TwitterAnki You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Are deeper voices more attractive? "Animals show us to take our best attributes, whatever they are, and highlight them, display them." - Jennifer Verdolin The Cheat Sheet: Looks matter! and why biology supports this. (6:00) What MHC is and why it's so critical to successful attraction. (11:35) Why pretending to be something you're not doesn't work in the long run. (22:00) This type of bird actually divorces, Jennifer explains. (24:55) Men are biologically programmed to hear deeper voices better: true or false? (33:00) Jennifer gives us three steps to become more attractive. (38:00) And so much more... Is it possible to learn how to be successful in dating and relationships from animals? According to our guest for episode 315, it is. Dr. Jennifer Verdolin of Duke University is the author of Wild Connection and she has devoted her academic life to studying the mating and dating behaviors of the animal world. Today she joins us to talk about what she's observed in the animal kingdom, how humans can apply it to their own lives to better understand themselves, their dating experiences and their relationships. More About This Show: Dr. Jennifer is a scholar-in-residence at Duke University; she's also a writer, scientist and animal behavior expert. Her book, Wild Connection, gives the low-down on what the love lives of animals can tell us about human relationships and human dating. She has spoken on the topic with NPR and has her own weekly blog on Psychology Today (links to both are in the resources section below). I thought she would be a fascinating guest to bring on and we dive into the correlations between animal behavior and human behavior in the relationship world. It turns out there are far more similarities than you might think, and we can learn a lot from our animal counterparts. On today's show, Jennifer and I talk about those similarities and what we might learn including why animals rarely have miscommunications, why humans do and what we can apply from animals to lessen those miscues, as well as why deception never works in the long-run when you're looking for a lasting relationship. Animals aren't dishonest and don't camouflage who and what they are, humans should do the same. Regarding the topic of miscommunication, this is a common occurrence that just isn't seen in the animal world. Jennifer says there are three steps we can take to have fewer communication issues. Listen to each other better. men are programmed to pay attention to deeper voices, biologically programmed to do so. men should be aware of this and take steps to listen to their mate's voice. women can speak deeper. Stop talking over one another - animals don't do it because it doesn't work. They want to receive information so they listen. Our brains can't multi-task so if you're thinking of a response while someone is talking it's the same as if you were actually talking according to your brain. Explain what you mean in detail. The greater amount of detail you give the better your chances of being heard and understood. When it comes to pretending to be something you're not, again animals don't do this because it doesn't work to find a proper mate. In human lives, eventually the other person is going to see who you really are. Instead of pretending to be someone or something you're not, find your best attributes and display those because there is someone out there who finds those attributes attractive. The best way to feel confident and comfortable in who you are and the attributes you have is to take stock of yourself. What do you like? What don't you like about yourself? Now what can you change and what must you accept? You'll never be 6'5" so accept the height you're at, there IS someone out there who will find you attractive. But if there are things about yourself that you don't like and you can change, then do so. Do you like wish you were more confident and charming in social situations? Then make a plan to become more social, more charming and act on it. You'll find yourself becoming more comfortable and more at ease with who you are as you do, all of which makes your more attractive to others. Please join me in thanking Jennifer for being on the show. She is knowledgable, funny and she graciously shared a host of suggestions to get you on your way to finding the ideal relationship. Be sure to listen and then take action on what we talk about in this show. Thanks for being here and we'll see you next time. THANKS JENNIFER! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Jennifer know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Jennifer on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Jennifer's web siteWild Connections, Jennifer's book Jennifer's blog on Psychology Today Jennifer on TwitterJennifer on Facebook You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Lateral Thinking Solves Problems Better. "If you truly love life, don't waste time because time is what life is made of." - Bruce Lee The Cheat Sheet: Facebook and The Death Star: we compare. The 3 ways to change on a micro level. Skeptical optimism: what it is and why it is a powerful habit. The Charlie Rose technique: how and when to use and why it's effective. What ben franklin has to do with all of this. The 5 second rule to overcoming your fears. And so much more... If you wrote for Wired or Fast Company, do you think you'd find innovative ways of living and working? The answer is yes, of course you would! And our guest for episode 314 does just that. Shane Snow, author of Smart Cuts, is also a writer for these notable tech publications and he's here with us to share what lateral thinking is, how to use it for greater innovation in every area of your life and how to use neurotic spreadsheeting to make your life rock. More About This Show: Shane Snow is a whiz at finding out what makes people go against the grain and think in ways the average person doesn't. He's explored and studied this topic in depth, it's the theme of his book Smart Cuts. He's even coined a phrase for it called "lateral thinking". He says lateral thinking is reframing problems in such a way that you come up with different rules or you rearrange the pieces in new ways and see new things as a result. In short, lateral thinking about a topic is "Macgyvering" it: seeing a solution that is completely out of the box. In this show, we go into detail on how to create habits of lateral thinking as suggested by Shane. One of his primary moves is to create what he calls "neurotic spreadsheets". These spreadsheets list your problem and then every possible assumption about that problem. Then list the answer to the question: what if this assumption weren't true? This will help you create a detailed, neurotic spreadsheet about your situation. Later in the show, Shane and I revisit neurotic spreadsheeting and apply it to discovering why someone was the best and why. Shane did this for former US presidents and his results were startling. He looked at multiple factors like who had the highest approval rating, how much time they spent in Congress, etc. He shares his findings with us - it's really interesting! Neurotic spreadsheeting is just one component of how to create lateral thinking habits. Another, perhaps easier, way to do this is by simply asking the question "Why?" -And not in an annoying way but getting to the bottom of why something has been done a certain way can help us reframe how we look at it. This line of thinking and questioning in business will help us to break convention and create innovative solutions, where others can't or don't see those solutions. Although we cover much more on this show, one final piece of advice Simon had for us is his 5 second rule. It goes like this: you have five seconds to do something or agree to do something, even if you are afraid of doing it. Are you afraid to speak in public, but you were just offered an incredible keynote opportunity? You have five seconds to say yes. When you do this often enough, you'll eventually stop being afraid of what you're agreeing to and become far more afraid of breaking your word to yourself and letting yourself down. You can apply this to any area of your life from your career to your love life. Too afraid to ask her out? Use the five second rule: give yourself til the count of five and then go ask. This is something Shane uses daily and it's made a world of difference what he takes on. Shane and I cover a lot of ground in this episode, he was an awesome guest to have with us. His lateral thinking approach, his habit of skeptical optimism are additional powerful topics we touch on. Be sure to listen and then start implementing his Smart Cuts' suggestions. We'll see you next time. THANKS SHANE! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Shane know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Shane on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Shane's web siteSmart Cuts, Shane's book Shane on TwitterEpisodes of MacGyver online You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"One of the reasons they call it 'the secret to success' is that people don't even understand that their habits are the cause of their wealth or poverty." - Tom Corley The Cheat Sheet: A goal is only a goal if it has these two things: what are they? Is wealth really as simple as working harder and working more? Consistency: why it's so important For 30 minutes every day, the rich do this: what is it? The best strategy to network with the rich, even if you are average or poor. What is opportunity luck? And so much more... Have you wondered what separates the rich from the not-rich? Is it luck or some closely-guarded secret? Or do the wealthy simply do things differently every day? Are there rich habits and are there poor habits? Our guest for episode 313, Tom Corley, has done extensive research and written a book on the subject. He says there are habits that separate the rich from the poor. In this show, Tom and I talk about what those rich habits are, how we can change them, how to network with the wealthy, whatever size your bank account...and so much more! More About This Show: Tom Corly is a CPA by trade who spent 5 years interviewing 233 rich people and 120 poor people. He analyzed that data over a 16 month period and came up with some startling revelations: there is no "secret" to getting wealthy, there are simply daily habits the rich engage in and daily habits that poor people do too. And the two sets of habits are miles apart. With the data he gathered and the insights he uncovered from his study, Tom wrote the book Rich Habits and launched his Rich Habits web site. On the show today, he shares some of the material in the book as well as his personal story of being wealthy as a child, losing it all and the impact that experience had on him. When Tom was 9, his family was running a business that had made them very wealthy. They were worth $4-$5 million dollars (quite a lot back then), until a fire took all of that overnight. Tom's family struggled to rebuild and he had to put himself through college. He worked nights as a janitor, and went to school during the day. All the while that painful loss from his childhood acting as a thorn in his side, urging him on. That loss would play a factor in why he undertook his 5 years of research and later published his first book. But the tipping point that pushed him over the edge was when a wealthy client of his came to him for help. The man was losing his business, everything he had worked for and he had no idea what he was doing wrong. He asked Tom for help. There wasn't much Tom could for him and he had no advice to give. All of his clients were already wealthy when they joined his company so he had never watched them grow and amass their fortunes. So Tom began to look for resources for his floundering client; Tom wanted to understand what the rich did differently on a daily basis. Not finding any books or other sources on the topic, Tom saw the opportunity to fill a gap in the marketplace and his Rich Habits brand was born. On this episode, Tom and I talk about those rich habits and what they are. Did you know 79% of rich people watch under an hour of TV a day? Instead, they are out hustling: they are volunteering at charitable organizations, teaching, speaking or networking several nights a week. And all of those activities are focused on getting them to their next goal or dream. But Tom admits it goes deeper than simply working harder and doing more. Rich habits are also built by our belief systems, or mini computer programs as Tom calls them. In fact, beliefs might be the "secret" to what's holding you back if you aren't wealthy. The good news is you can change those beliefs. It's a matter of awareness, and then creating a new habit to replace the old, negative one that is holding you back. And consistently doing so over a period of time, Tom recommends 18-254 days to create a new habit. There's plenty more of those nuggets in this episode! Tom was an awesome guest who provides insightful how-tos on building your rich habits every day, networking with the wealthy on your way to the top and creating something he calls opportunity luck. Have a listen and then starting shifting those daily habits into rich habits! We'll see you next time. THANKS TOM! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Tom know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Tom on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Tom's web siteTom's books Tom on TwitterHow The Rich Spend Their Time, Tom's blog post You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"In a lot of ways, the whole Alpha Male thing is just an excuse for being an asshole." - James Fell The Cheat Sheet: Scientific research has debunked the Alpha concept: true or false? Why you should run towards danger (i.e., your fears). The secret to finding your innate talents Ready, fire, aim: why this is a valid approach to get things done. How body for wife became a brand, then a web site and a book. Action is the antidote to despair: who said this and why it matters. And so much more... Alpha Male. Today you can't turn on a TV, go into a bookstore or walk down the street without having the concept thrown in your face (often times literally). And it's a concept we at The Art of Charm and our guest for episode 312 don't buy into, not unless you want to be a douchebag. James Fell is a fitness and health writer for the LA Times, Ask Men, the Chicago Tribune and Time magazine, and he joins us to talk about why the alpha male marketing idea is bullshit, how to actually face your fears and grow your confidence to achieve your dreams without relying on the instant-fix ploy of Alpha Male and how to know who to listen to for advice and when...and plenty more. More About This Show: One of the biggest issues James and I both have with the Alpha Male idea is that it takes guys who are trying to build their confidence and develop themselves and basically teaches them to be assholes. And it says that by acting like a tough guy with muscles and a spray tan, they'll magically get a hot girlfriend, become a millionaire and all their problems will be solved. Instead of being truthful about what will get them those things: putting in the time, effort and energy to develop their inner game, learn how to connect and build relationships with women and in business and gain the skills and confidence to cope with anything life brings their way. Because this idea, as opposed to the Alpha Male thing, isn't a quick fix. It's not sexy to tell someone it's going to take them years to become who they want to be and get what they want. But the reality is it does take time, it does take effort and it does take commitment. Both James and I agree on that. We also agree on the importance of running towards your fears and facing them to build that confidence. James says it's important to take baby steps and build that confidence, acquire your goals bit by bit. Take a look at where you want to go, the skills you want and need to develop to get there and then set a foundation to get there through self-improvement, self-reflection and hands-on learning, even formal education where it's appropriate. Action is key, another point we agree on. No amount of daydreaming will get you that Ferrari. James even shares the exact reason why daydreaming actually stops you from achieving what you want. His advice? Instead of daydreaming, strategize how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be. Then go out and do it. James and I discuss SO much more in this show. He was an awesome guest who pulled no punches in giving us the lowdown on why Alpha Male is bullshit, how to be who you really are and get what you really want. He gives some real-life examples and strategies you can use, so have a listen and get moving! We'll see you next time. THANKS JAMES! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let James know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank James on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Six Pack AbsBody For Wife James on TwitterHow To Find (and Keep) A Girlfriend You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"Whatever kind of giving you're focused on, it starts with asking the question: What do other people need?" - Adam Grant The Cheat Sheet: The different categories of giving value. How to give to someone you don't know - the RIGHT way. What are stage gates and how should you use them? How to avoid social capital suicide. The power of powerless communication: Abe Lincoln showed us how. Chunker vs Sprinkler And so much more... The latest buzz in the online marketing and entrepreneurial world is to give value and the profits will come back to you. Is this really true and does it work when it comes to networking and expanding our social circles? Adam Grant has the answer to that question and he's our guest for episode 311. Adam is the author of "Give and Take" and an organization psychologist professor at Wharton School of Business. He was also named by Malcolm Gladwell as one of his favorite social science writers. In this show, Adam and I talk about how to spot takers and protect yourself against them, how to use the 5 minute favor to expand your social circle in a favorable way and give yourself greater happiness in the process, and lots more! More About This Show: Most of us probably believe we're givers, or at the very least we want to be giving to our social circles. But chances are some of us simply aren't giving. Adam Grant helps us rectify that in this episode. One of the best ways to be a giver or an even better giver than you are now is to simply ask what others need. If you know what they need, you can find a way to give it to them. Or you can approach the person you want to give to by sharing what you're good at and how you could contribute to them. For example, if you are an encyclopedia of research studies let them know that and tell them they can contact you if they are looking for a particular study or you can help them find a study that supports a concept they're exploring. If you're looking for a way to connect with that person before approaching them, there's an app called Refresh which will gather all their social media information and collect it in one place for you. You can look for things or people or connections you have in common and use that as a talking point to establish common ground. Once you've connected and have bonded, you can go deeper into the relationship to find out what their greatest needs are and how you can fulfill those needs. And if one of those needs you fulfill involves introducing another person, Adam and I discuss the proper steps to doing so with a double opt-in introduction. The double opt-in helps you avoid the embarrassment of introducing two people who already know each other or two people who actually can't help each other for reasons you aren't aware of. Though we discuss many more powerful topics, one of the last I want to highlight here is powerless communication. This is the art and craft of giving some of the power in a connection to the other person, thereby showing you are willing to give for the greater good and you aren't there simply to take advantage of the situation. Adam shares how Abraham Lincoln used this technique so effectively. There's plenty more content Adam and I discuss in this show. He was a great guest with loads of concrete giving tips for better networking and a better life. I enjoyed having him with us, I hope you dig this episode too. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time. THANKS ADAM! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Adam know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Adam on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Adam's web site6 Ways To Get Me To Email You Back, Adam's blog post If You Do This, Your Emails Might Be Rude, Adam's blog post Adam on TwitterRefresh app You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

"You've got to take imperfect action. You literally have to start. It doesn't matter if it's not perfect. It doesn't matter if it crashes and burns." - Michael O'Neal The Cheat Sheet: Why he decided to stop trading time for dollars. The business takeaway from the fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally. Why it's important to say "yes" and the lesson he learned from doing so. Why you can't teach hustle. His near-death experience 10 days before he launched his show and why he still launched. What separates the haves from the never will be people? And so much more... There are times in our lives when we face a challenge, an adversity so daunting we can only cope by going into survival mode. But with time, patience, the right attitude and the proper support, we can take those experiences and propel ourselves into lives we never even dreamed possible. Here to share his own version of this is Michael O'Neal from The Solopreneur Hour podcast. In episode 310, we talk about how the loss of both of his parents in less than a year devastated and altered his life completely, how that experience led to his commitment to never trade time for dollars again, why it's important to say yes and be open and how to get past the fear of creating a new business and lifestyle of your own. More About This Show: In the very early days of the Internet, Michael O'Neal was one of those early adapters. He created and designed web sites and made a good living doing it. Eventually he left the office world and became a freelancer working for himself. He was so good at what he did that he was courted by a Fortune 500 company. He didn't need the job but talked to them anyway. After receiving a highly lucrative offer, one that was more than he asked for, he went to work for them. The beginning days were fun: kegs and foosball on Fridays but once the start-up was bought out all of that changed. Soon it was meetings and minutes. Within a year, Michael left with a healthy severance package. About the same time, his father's battle with congestive heart failure took a turn for the worse. Eventually his dad lost that battle and died. Seven months later, Michael's mom passed away from a combination of a broken heart over the loss of her husband and a rare kidney disorder. Losing his father was incredibly sad, but not surprising as he had been battling for 4 years. But the passing of Michael's mom was unexpected and heartbreaking. Emotionally, Michael was devastated. Financially, he was devastated. His parents' illnesses ate up his 401(k), he lost his home, his cars, his savings, all of it. It was a tremendous burden to bear and in his own words, he simply "muddled" through it. It wasn't until he was sitting on the couch of a billionaire friend over a year later that he realized he hadn't mourned. He was simply in survival mode. His friend's acknowledgment of this gave him the space to grieve. Soon he set off on a journey to take his parents' ashes to Europe and give them the trip he had always wanted to give them when they were alive. For four months he traveled and lived in Italy, Belgium, France among other places. And when he returned to the States, he was still dead broke but he was sure of one thing: never again would he be tied to a job or to clients to make a living. He read a series of books, which he now calls the Sexy Six, that opened his eyes to a new way of living and doing business. He found a network marketing company he believed in, a company that became a new family for him and he quickly built a successful business with them through his own proven social media tactics. From that success, he developed a course on social media to teach other network marketers and solopreneurs how to do the same. That course led to a gig producing the popular podcast, The Kick-Ass Life with David Wood. And that podcast led to Michael's own show, The Solopreneur Hour. Today he is the head honcho at The Solopreneur Hour, a podcast that produces a six-figure income for him and has grown to over 1.5 million downloads in its first year. On the show, he interviews successful solopreneurs on what they did from the time they became unemployable to their present day success. I've appeared on the show as has Michael Gerber, Pat Flynn, Chris Ducker and numerous others. Michael and I get into tons more valuable content on what it means to be a solopreneur, the steps he recommends someone take to get started and why taking action is so important. He was a great guest and I enjoyed having him on the show, I hope you dig this episode too. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time. THANKS MICHAEL! If you enjoyed this session of the Art of Charm Podcast, let Michael know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Michael on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Michael's podcastThe Eight Steps To Becoming A Successful Solopreneur Michael on TwitterRich Dad, Poor Dad Cashflow Quadrant The 4-Hour Work Week The E-Myth Revisited Strengths Finder 2.0 Crush ItWhen Harry Met Sally: The Diner Scene You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Email jordanh@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!