The Art of Charm

Dreams can increase your emotional IQ. "The creative mind awake and asleep is the same mind." -Ryan Hurd The Cheat Sheet: Do we all dream, whether we remember or not? Why napping is a good thing. One of the top ten most common dreams is what? Dream work vs dream interpretation: what's the difference? What is dream incubation? And so much more... Do you remember your dreams from last night? Whether you do or not science has shown we all dream. Joining us to discuss the science of dreams and other dream-related topics is Ryan Hurd, dream expert and author of several books on dreaming including Dream Like a Boss. On this episode of The Art of Charm we dive into lucid dreaming, how dreaming is akin to creative workshopping your problems and how dreams can act as red flags for health problems. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show Ryan's journey into dreams began at a young age. He remembers having very vivid dreams as a child, and being fascinated by them. At 14 he began a dream journal to chronicle his experiences. Although he became a field archaeologist after college, a decade later he returned to school to study his passion: dreams. He earned an MA in the Consciousness Studies program at John F Kennedy along with a Certificate in Dream Studies. He has worked with dream researchers and experts throughout his career. On this episode Ryan shares us with his scientific and practical application of dreaming. Practically speaking sleep is the third pillar of health, without it diet and exercise don't have nearly the same positive impact as they do when we're sleeping properly. We have to start with good sleep before we can do any quality dream work, like lucid dreaming. Once good sleep is in place our dreams can help us understand what's really important (and who), face our fears and anxieties, increase our emotional IQ and come up with solutions to pressing problems. Ryan says if we have a recurring dream about something or someone there's a lesson in it for us, our sleep is trying to tell us something. Have you had several dreams about a former lover from a decade ago? It doesn't necessarily mean you should contact that old flame. Instead, take that feeling you have from the dream and notice when you have that same feeling in real life: your dream is trying to guide you so you can change your response in that situation. Or if you find yourself dreaming about those bullies from elementary school time and again, use that dream to respond differently; you can use your dream to face those bullies, stand up for yourself and finally work through the fear and anxiety you felt in that situation. You'll have become more powerful in your dream and in real life. And you can use dreams to help you with current day issues: if you're faced with a problem or situation that you don't know how to resolve in real life your dreams can provide options and potential solutions. First you must be adapt at remembering your dreams and you can start by keeping a dream journal.Once you're remembering your dreams you can write down your problem before you go to sleep, then write down your dreams when you wake up. Do this for at least 3 nights in a row and your dreams will provide answers. Ryan and I also explore the topic of lucid dreaming, including some of the latest technological advances in this area plus dream incubation and his dream app recommendations. Check it out on today's episode of The Art of Charm. THANKS RYAN HURD! If you enjoyed this session with Ryan, let him know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Ryan on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Ryan Hurd's web siteRyan Hurd on TwitterDream Like A Boss, Ryan HurdDreams Cloud app, an app for dream journaling The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: Click Here to Support The Show at our sponsors Mixergy!And Podcastone! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff! Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING.  Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Relationships are still complicated. "We are creatures of meaning and we want to feel we matter." -Esther Perel The Cheat Sheet: Why have we lost the value of relational intelligence? How to know if you're in a role or are being accountable? How to rekindle relationships. Why the first person to apologize holds the power. How can you break the cycle of hostile dependence? And so much more... If we've been in relationships since the dawn of humankind why are they still so complicated? Here to answer that question is psychologist Esther Perel. Esther is a two-time Ted Talks speaker who wrote the New York Times best-selling book Mating in Captivity. Today on The Art of Charm Esther shares why men need more roles than simply the breadwinner, how we can appreciate the relationships we have and why the quality of our lives really is dependent on the quality of our relationships. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show Esther Perel has been likened to a current day Dr. Ruth; her work is groundbreaking and pivotal to today's perspective on relationships. She is a licensed and practicing psychotherapist who has been profiled by The New York Times and The New Yorker. Her book, Mating in Captivity, is an international bestseller that has been published in 24 different languages. Obviously she knows a few things about the world of relationships! And on today's show she discusses why relationships are still complicated after thousands of years, why men deserve more freedom in their accepted roles in life and how we can rekindle any neglected relationship. Although we've been in relationship as long as we've been in existence, we're still experiencing significant challenges and problems in our relationships. Why? Why haven't we figured it out yet? Esther says it's because we have so many more choices today, something we've never had that before. Couple that with our adopted attitude of novelty, replacement and you'll understand why fewer people stay together through the difficult times. What if you are one of those couples who is navigating a difficult time and you want to rekindle the spark you once had together? The first step is to acknowledge your role in the situation. Ask yourself if you're treating your partner the way you treat your clients? Are you as good to your significant other as you are to other people in your life? If the answer is no then say so to your partner. And once you've acknowledged your lack of appreciation, start appreciating that person more. Don't save the gratitude for anniversaries, birthdays and Valentine's Day. Do something for them, give them the day off from being a mom or a caretaker. Take care of them for a change, and show your appreciation for all they do. If you're away on a business trip write a letter thanking your significant other for the things they do to make your life better, from taking care of the house while you're gone to caring for your kids, etc. You'll feel elevated by elevating and showing your gratitude for them. Esther also spells out how we can diffuse any argument no matter the subject and what hostile dependence is and how to let go of it in any relationship. Have a listen on episode 410 of The Art of Charm. THANKS ESTHER PEREL! If you enjoyed this session with Esther, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Esther on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Esther Perel's websiteEsther's special AOC bonusMating in Captivity by Esther Perel Esther Perel on TwitterEsther's Ted Talks The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: Support The Show at our sponsor Stamps.com, enter the promo code Charm! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff! Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

Banter is a muscle to be flexed daily. "A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything." -Malcolm X The Cheat Sheet: Do you always have to be funny to create banter? What is the conversation formula? What are the three traits you want to embody through banter? What is "yes and" and how does it apply to bantering? How can you practice banter? And so much more… One of the keys to connecting with anyone is banter. Whether you're hanging out at your third place or you're out with your boys and spot a girl you'd like to chat up, banter is the best way to strike up a conversation. On this toolbox episode of The Art of Charm we'll talk about the 3 characteristics you embody through banter, how to keep it playful throughout and why you don't have to be funny to be good at banter. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show: Banter is a playful, lighthearted conversation between two strangers to ease the tension of getting acquainted, in this episode we're primarily discussing how to use it to chat up a woman you haven't met before. There are three traits or aspects of your personality you'll be highlighting when using banter: your playful side, your lack of need for others' approval and your sexual side. 1. Your playful side.You open the conversation with this side of you. Ask her a question like what is she drinking? Who is she here with? Why is she out tonight? A who, what, where, when, why or how question is a good opener. When she answers come back with something playful. Like if you ask her what's drinking and she says cosmo, tell her it'll never work between you because your last girlfriend drank cosmos and she was a lush. Make it playful, smile with your lips and your eyes when you respond and you'll put her at ease and you'll also be giving her a role to play. 2. You don't seek others' approval. This part of bantering comes next and it's done by misinterpreting what she says to you. Again, always smiling with your eyes and your mouth when you respond to let her know you're being silly, playful and yet you are your own man who isn't reliant on the approval of others, without, of course, overcompensating. There is a fine line between a charming rogue and a boorish try-hard. 3. Sexual. We'll let you learn directly from the AoC coaches during the show for this one. Those are the three traits and the order in which to highlight them. You'll want to practice these to get good at them, banter is definitely a muscle to be used daily. An improv class is a great way to practice banter, and so is chatting up people you interact with every day. Check it out on this edition of The Art of Charm. THANKS AOC! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let us know by clicking on the link below and sending us a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank AOC on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Attraction Toolbox episode The Art of Charm on Twitter Other AOC Toolbox episodes The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff! Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)!

According to The Way of the Peaceful Warrior author Dan Millman, everyone is a peaceful warrior in training. "Heroes and cowards feel exactly the same fear, they just respond differently." -Cus D'Amato The Cheat Sheet: Why doesn't Dan Millman like to use the word spirituality? What is FAST defense? Do you have to travel in order to grow? How to act with kindness, bravery or other emotion, even if you don't feel it. What is Dan's "outside in" approach to growth? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-millman-the-way-of-the-peaceful-warrior/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

Attraction is more than just sex. "Attraction starts before we even open our mouths." -AJ Harbinger The Cheat Sheet: What's The Art of Charm definition of attraction? Why the first 60 seconds are critical to attracting a woman. How to make people gravitate to you. AJ's suggestion for getting a great suit without spending a fortune. What is the one physical feature humans look at on everyone else? And so much more… When you think of attraction do you immediately think of sexual attraction or physical attraction? You're not alone if you do! But that's just one component, there are three more pieces of the attraction puzzle. On today's toolbox episode we talk about why attraction goes beyond the physical, what those four components of attraction are and how to maximize them. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show: One of the topics we get asked about most at The AOC is attraction and how to become more attractive to women. On today's show we're specifically discussing the four channels of attraction: static, dynamic, self-presentation and circumstance. There are specific ways to maximize each area to maximize your attractiveness in any setting. 1. Static. These are the things about you that you cannot change: your height, your eye color, sometimes even your build. You aren't going to wake up tomorrow looking like Brad Pitt but you also don't need to carry around those extra 30 pounds. The key here is to maximize these areas by getting adequate sleep, eating right and exercising. When you take better care of yourself it will show. 2. Dynamic. You've probably guessed it: dynamic is what you can change about yourself. This is your body language, your energy. If you're feeling happy your body will show up. If you're feeling confident your body will show it. And you can control your emotions and change them, your body will follow. One thing we do at our boot camps is the power posture. This means standing in a victory pose for 90 seconds. Do it and watch how your mind shifts when you do. Make it part of your morning routine for maximum impact. 3. Self-presentation. This is your style and your grooming. Your self-presentation is how you get to show the world a bit about you, who you are and who you want to connect with. If you're a hipster let your fashion say so. If you're a rocker show it. And be sure your fashion is appropriate for your body type, get your clothes fitted if needed. A tailor can do wonders for your self-presentation and is worth the extra effort. 4. Circumstance.This is your surroundings and your location, it's both the place you choose to be and where you choose to be in that location. First and foremost be selective about where you go (check out Third Place Toolbox episode for details) and who you're with. A way to maximize your circumstance is to go out alone, and we give you the specifics on how to do so. One thing to note is when you're out on your own stand at the angle of the bar. More people will be waiting in line there and you can strike up a conversation with them. Those are the four channels of attraction! In this episode we also discuss additional ways to maximize each of them, how to know if you have too much or not enough energy and why you want to be Kumar when you're out at the bar (and leave your Harold side at home). Check it out on this edition of The Art of Charm, and then come back for our next toolbox episode on what to say to further that attraction! THANKS AOC! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let us know by clicking on the link below and sending us a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank AOC on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Third Place Toolbox episode The Art of Charm on Twitter Other AOC Toolbox episodes The Art of Charm bootcamps  Also sponsored by: You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff! Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Reading people takes practice. "You've got two ears and one mouth, use them in proportion." -Adam Nesrallah The Cheat Sheet: Why saying "I understand" actually means you don't. What is a baseline and how do you use it? Are lie detectors about the machine or the person handling the machine? How to be understood by anyone. What is the five second rule? And so much more... For the majority of us misreading a social situation or someone's communication is simply embarrassing or humbling, nothing more. But for Adam Nesrallah, a former Canadian spy, missing a social cue was a potential life-threatening experience. Adam joins us on this episode to talk about why there are no shortcuts to being a great communicator, how to read between the lines of what people are saying and what spies teach us about reading people. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show Adam is a former Canadian intelligence officer who co-founded the Ronin Private Intelligence. His company primarily focuses on training people in the disciplines of communication, persuasion or relationship-building. Their trainings are tailored to your particular sector. But Adam's know-how was forged during his time in counter-intelligence and counter-terrorism service for Canada, his home country. He learned two of the most important skills any of us can have are communication and relationship-building. If you can listen properly you can communicate in such a way as to build relationships. And so much of communication is the in the subtext: it's not what the person says necessarily but more of what they didn't say and why they didn't say it. In order to read that subtext you have to be able to read people. Adam says purpose-driven communication like this takes finesse, practice and is a perishable thing. You have to learn it, use it and keep using it so your skills stay finely-tuned. To hone and keep your skills sharp, pay attention to a person, their mannerisms, their responses and the environment so you can become more aware of what they are actually saying in their non-verbal communication. By listening intently and deliberately with practice and patience you'll have a better understanding of human interaction, rapport-building and relationship-building. Put this into practice by going to a bar or coffee shop and simply observe people there. You'll begin to read people's personal baselines: how they are in a normal conversation. Find out what's normal for someone and then communicate with them in that way. And that's your next step after observing people: interact with them. Give yourself five seconds to build rapport, then talk with them for a few minutes to build a connection and get their contact information so you can practice building a relationship. On today's show Adam gives us the third and final step in this process, as well as the two types of listening in a conversation and which works best, and his personal profiling technique. Check it out on today's episode of The Art of Charm. THANKS, ADAM NESRALLAH! If you enjoyed this session with Adam, let him know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Adam on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Adam Nesrallah's website Adam Nesrallah on Twitter The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: Click Here to Support The Show at our sponsor Mixergy! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff! Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

Getting a no is part of the process to get a yes. "No one ever died from getting a no." -Andrea Waltz The Cheat Sheet: Why did her husband propose while she was trying on shoes in Macy's? How to reframe your model of failure and success. The one simple way to get in the top 10% of business. What is focused failure and how can you implement it? The key to dealing with fear of failure in the moment. And so much more... For most of our lives we've been programmed to go for the yes. But what if getting a yes was as simple as getting more noes? Our guest today says it is, and she's got the evidence to prove it! Andrea Waltz, author of Go For No, joins us for episode 404 of The Art of Charm to talk about how to reframe our experience of the word no and failure, how to get our egos out of the way when we get a no, how to set no goals and how to practically apply all of this in our career and personal lives. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show Andrea Waltz is an international speaker and author who teaches people how to go for no. She fell in love with the idea of seeing no as a way to success. After a story her now-husband shared with her she realized mediocre results and mediocre lives occur because people avoid getting noes. They see a no as a failure, rather than part of the process on the way to success. On today's episode she shares how to reframe your model of success and failure to create more ease and more success, what focused failure is and how to overcome fear in the moment to take action. Most of us have been told from early on that no is a bad thing. It means you've done something wrong and you're being rejected. But Andrea encourages you to see a no as a good thing, see it for what it is: part of the process on the road to success. In fact she says setting no goals is beneficial: pick a number of noes you want to get in a week and then go for it. As you get those noes and hit your goals you should celebrate them, and look for feedback. Why are people saying no? Ask the people who say no what you could've done or said differently to get a yes. When you use that approach, whether in business or dating or anywhere else in your life, you'll be more at ease. You're more likely to feel tense and have tense interactions if you are focused on a yes. But if you're actively seeking noes then you're okay with whatever response you get, and that creates a sense of confidence. And that's part of focused failure: setting a no goal, getting feedback from all the noes, receiving that feedback without letting your ego get the better of you and then implementing that feedback in your next quest for noes. Andrea says to test fast, try fast and fail fast: that is how you achieve success. Andrea also explains how she and her husband celebrate noes, why deep breathing helps overcome fears and helps you go for no, and whether or not other cultures view no differently. Check it out on today's episode of The Art of Charm. THANKS ANDREA WALTZ! If you enjoyed this session with Andrea Waltz, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Andrea on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Andrea Waltz's web siteGo For No, Andrea Waltz's bookAndrea Waltz on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad!  Email me instead (we read everything)!   HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!   If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review!  This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there.   Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm   Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher   FEEDBACK + PROMOTION   Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING.   Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177   Stay Charming!

Everyone needs a third place. "You can find these in every community." -AJ Harbinger The Cheat Sheet: Why the third place is disappearing. The four criteria to use when choosing a third place. Why clubs are not a good option. How TV has replaced the third place. How to be welcome and become a "regular". And so much more... Have you noticed how nearly every sitcom has a hangout spot? Cheers' spot was well, Cheers. Friends had Cafe Perk. Seinfeld had the corner restaurant. How I Met Your Mother had the nearby pub. But why don't more Americans have this go-to spot, this third place in their neighborhood? On this Toolbox episode of The Art of Charm we'll talk about why you need a third place, what to look for when choosing one and how to become a regular after you've chosen yours. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show: In life we should all have three main places we go regularly: home, work and our third place. The third place is anything from a cafe to a pub to a diner, so long as it's close to your house and it fits certain criteria. Whether you're new to your neighborhood or not you still need a third place. Here are the four things to look for when choosing it: 1. It's a leveler. Everyone is equal here no matter their background, socioeconomic status, etc. When someone is at this spot they're just a member of the community. In other words if there's bottle service available it doesn't fit the criteria, and this is why clubs aren't really a third place. 2. You're primarily there for conversation. Your third place is where you to go to chat, interact, vent, tell stories, etc. The purpose of being there is to communicate with the people around you. 3. You can become a regular. No matter what you know you'll see familiar faces when you go here. When you're looking for your third place be sure there are regulars who are a part of its community, people who if they weren't seen for awhile would be missed. 4. There's no real structure to what's happening.Anything can happen and there's an openness to the energy and environment of the place.People are just there to be there, not for any specific activity or agenda. Also your third place shouldn't be sexy, it should be comfortable and a place you feel good going to alone. And that's what you're going to do once you've chosen your third place. To establish yourself as a regular there go in on an off-peak night, some night of the week when it isn't packed and you can meet the staff and the regular patrons. When you go there be sure to introduce yourself to the bartender and/or manager, smile a lot and make conversation with people around you. Let the staff know you're new in town (if you are) and tell them you'll be coming around often, then be sure to leave them a healthy tip. Continue to drop in during off peak times, chat people up and make the place better for having your presence. The bartenders will remember you and appreciate you. Once you've set the foundation for your third place you can consider what friends to bring there and going in during a busy time. AJ and Johnny explain more about who to bring and when, as well as the vital role third places play in our communities. Check it out on this edition of The Art of Charm. THANKS, AoC! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let us know by clicking on the link below and sending us a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank AoC on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Meetup The Art of Charm on Twitter Other AOC Toolbox episodes The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff! Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

You can save a lot of money and still buy a great diamond. "Nobody wants to spend more for less." -Mike Fried The Cheat Sheet: How diamond websites are shifting the industry like Zappos did with shoes. Are diamonds a dime a dozen? The 4 Cs: which of the four are most important? What does the term "eye clean" mean? The top two certification companies you can trust. And so much more... When you're shopping for an engagement ring you might think you're getting a great deal from a reputable buyer but how do you really know you aren't being taken for a ride? Listen to today's guest and you'll know for sure. Mike Fried has been in the diamond industry for nearly 15 years. He and his business partner run a web site that helps people buy diamonds without being ripped off. Today on the 402nd episode of The Art of Charm we talk about which of the 4 Cs are most important, whether or not you should really spend 3 months' salary on a ring and what certification companies you can trust, and which you can't. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show When Mike Fried first got into the diamond industry he was working on the wholesale side. The company he worked for helped jewelers maximize profitable - in other words they helped jewelers make the most money on any diamond ring sale. After 8 years he was tired of that end of the business and left. His now-business partner Ari came to him with an idea: why not create an online spot to help people buy the best diamond for the best price? Together they created Diamonds.pro. The concept is simple: they help you find the best diamond for your needs and then recommend several web sites where you can buy it for your budget. They earn a commission from the web sites, but that commission is paid by the sites and not an extra mark-up for you down the road. Their site provides education so you know what to look for and how to get the most value for what you're spending. On today's show Mike debunks many of the myths of the diamond industry like the 3 months' salary myth, the myth that diamonds are somehow more precious than other stones and that diamonds are actually not an investment; they are simply a commodity you're paying for, not an investment for the future. If you are shopping for rings you've probably heard of the 4 Cs: cut, color, clarity and carats. Mike says you can't get a "top quality" diamond that excels in all four areas. Instead you should focus on cut and carats. Get the best cut at the best size you can afford. How well cut the diamond is will be reflected in its brilliance and shine; and size definitely matters! People will notice how it shines and how big it is. Certification is also another tricky area. Mike recommends only relying on certification from GIA and AGS, those two are the gold standard of the diamond industry and you can count on their consistency and reliability. When they rate a diamond you can be sure that's what you're getting. He also says IGI and HRD are a step below, they're not as consistent. But avoid EGL, many jewelers are facing lawsuits because they sold poor quality diamonds rated highly by EGL. Mike also has recommendations on how to set your budget, why surprising your girl with a ring isn't the best idea and the truth about the cartel behind the diamond industry. Check it out on today's episode of The Art of Charm. THANKS, MIKE FRIED! If you enjoyed this session with Mike Fried, let him know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Mike on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Diamonds Pro website Diamonds Pro on Twitter The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: Try Squarespace (Free) and Support Our Supporters! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!  

Todd Herman (@todd_herman) explains why high performers think differently -- but not in the way you expect. "Try not to become a man of success, but rather become a man of value." -Albert Einstein The Cheat Sheet: Are we meant to be in the zone all the time? Do high performers battle depression more or less than everyone else? How Walt Disney knew if he had a great idea or a crappy one. Todd Herman explains why goals beyond 90 days are useless. What is the biggest myth in society today? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/todd-herman-the-power-of-negative-thinking-episode-401/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #14! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend! In this episode: Why don’t you just do a digital/virtual bootcamp so we don’t have to travel? My company might be hiring to replace me. What do I do? How is AoC different from Scientology? My boyfriend won’t help pay my bills. How do I become a professional dating guru/instructor? And more! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Boom. Episode 400! Meet and connect with the right kind of people. "Everyone entering your life on a social level is an opportunity to grow your network." -AJ Harbinger The Cheat Sheet: The four groups you need to have in your life. How to get introduced to a cute girl's friends. Opportunities for adding value and how to spot them. One specific tip to meeting your neighbors. How social media can help you chose your new friends. And so much more... One question we get asked frequently is how to make new friends when you move to a new place. This question goes hand in hand with our advice to surround yourself with people you want to be like. And today's episode gives you practical advice on how to do just that. Whether you're moving somewhere new, have already moved or simply want to expand your social circle, this show will explain the four groups you need to have in your life, how to find those groups, and run people through a "social sales funnel". Listen in for all of that and more on the 400th episode of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show: The axiom of "you become the five people you spend the most time with" is one of core teachings of this show. Today we'll share with you how to meet more people you want to be like, whether you've just moved to a new town or not. There are four groups you should always have in your life and they are: 1. An all-men's group. This should be a group of men you get together with regularly. It could be an entrepreneurial group of guys who meet regularly or a mentoring type group. This group is important because it gives you a chance to grow your leadership skills. 2. A co-ed group. Once you have your all-men's group find a co-ed group. This could be a group of men and women who meet often to play some kind of sport or do another activity together. The web site meetup.com is a great place to find groups like these. This group is important because you'll have opportunities to learn and apply other diplomatic skills with both men and women. 3. Your show-off group. This is your next group to find after finding groups one and two. In the show-off group you're going to be showing off what makes you unique. Are you a great coder or great at cooking? A drummer, guitarist, aspiring comedian? That is your show off group. 4. A charity or community-focused group. Find a group where you can contribute to a charity or a community-based group. This can be as simple as attending an annual charity event, but it adds a richness and a depth to you, your social circles and your personality. So once you've got all four groups in your life, you can begin the "social sales funnel". There are some basic steps in the funnel. The first is to find people from your four groups you hit it off with. Then find opportunities to hang out with them. Thirdly add value to those opportunities, like bringing a good bottle of whiskey to a boy's night of poker. Finally get to know your new friends on social media and if they seem like great people, host a regular event and invite them (and have them invite their friends!). AJ and Johnny give us the full scoop on the social sales funnel, and creating the friendships and relationships you really want on this edition of The Art of Charm. THANKS AOC! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let us know by clicking on the link below and sending us a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank AOC on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Meetup The Art of Charm on Twitter Other AOC Toolbox episodes The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)!  HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177  Stay Charming!  

As Ramit Sethi (@ramit) knows, mindset comes first, then networking, then success. "Top performers in one field want to meet top performers in other fields." -Ramit Sethi The Cheat Sheet: What is curated value and how does it apply to networking? The three letters that cut down Ramit Sethi's email by 30%. Why did Ramit turn down an offer to work at Google? What is the Seagull Theory, and why does it matter? What uncomfortable truth did Guy Kawasaki once tell Ramit? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/ramit-sethi-the-real-truth-about-networking-and-success-episode-399/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

In this one: How do I follow my passion? Work life balance isn't real Tim sykes is a scammer? What's the deal with that shampoo? HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!  If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there.   FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

Network to create lifelong connections. "Vulnerability leads to credibility." -Michelle Lederman The Cheat Sheet: Can you fake confidence? If so, how? Why the real you is the best you. The key to being more authentic. How many times should you try something new before throwing in the towel? What is the 3 words activity? And so much more... Networking and relationships are the building blocks of a successful life. It's a point we drive home on many of our shows, but how do we do it authentically? How do we create connection through clarity and confidence? Our guest for today's show has the answers to all of those questions! Michelle Lederman is an author, speaker, coach and self-professed recovering CPA who writes and speaks on the topics of clarity, confidence, connection and likability. Listen in for all of that and more on episode 398 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and Check Out HostGator! More About This Show: Michelle Lederman wrote the book on likability, literally! Her 11 Laws of Likability is a guide based on 3 pillars of great relationships: clarity, confidence and connection. When these three pillars are in place you can build likability with the people you meet and interact with, forming solid foundations for lifelong connections. And it starts with clarity. Michelle says you have to be clear on your intent. What do you want people to think of when they think about you? What impression do you want to leave your next date with or the people you interview with for your next job or promotion? Get clear on that first. Then move on to confidence. Confidence is one of the most persuasive traits you can possess. But what comes first - the experiences to give you confidence or the feeling of confidence? Although it's a little like the chicken vs. the egg dilemma, Michelle says you can authentically fake it til you make it! While that sounds contradictory, it's simply means to really find the authenticity in the acting as if part of the equation. So authentically act as if you are confident and eventually you will be. The final piece of the puzzle is connection. Authenticity and likability are obviously important aspects of connection. Have you ever spoken with someone in a seemingly real way only to come away from the conversation realizing they had a mask on? That doesn't create a bond, and there's no foundation for a future relationship if the other person never lets you see the real them. In other words, be authentic. If you aren't sure if you are authentic with others you'll have to spend some time reflecting on this. A great way to reevaluate a conversation or experience later is to ask yourself if you said or did anything just to make the other person happy or comfortable. If you did, you were being inauthentic. Before beating yourself up about it simply take a look at why you were inauthentic. Were you concerned with looking good or were you caught up in your own discomfort? Find out why and then figure out what you can do next time to be real and be yourself. Then go out and do it. Another great way to be more authentic is to get uncomfortable! Michelle recommends doing so in baby steps and creating small wins for yourself. If you aren't a super social person the next time you go out make small talk with one person. Sure it will feel uncomfortable and maybe even awkward but you are stretching yourself and learning more about who you really are. Michelle recommends doing a new, uncomfortable activity like this 10 times and reflecting on it after each experience. If you still hate doing it after 10 tries you can stop and try something else. On this episode Michelle and I also discuss her 3 words exercise and how to apply it to your life for more likability, as well as how to maintain relationships once they're started. Listen in for her golden nuggets of wisdom today and we'll see you next time on The Art of Charm! THANKS, MICHELLE LEDERMAN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Michelle know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Michelle on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Michelle Lederman's website Michelle on Twitter11 Laws of Likability, by Michelle Lederman Heroes Get Hired, by Michelle Lederman The Art of Charm bootcamps Also sponsored by: Click Here to Support The Show at our sponsor Lynda.com! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!