Igniting Souls Podcast with Kary Oberbrunner

Thanksgiving and Black Friday have changed a lot over the years. I'm out at 8 am on Black Friday, and it's a ghost town. People used to camp out to get the big deals. Is it because everybody shops online? Or is it because people are just tired of the gamification? They just want real.  If you really have a good product, you don't have to do all those massive, deep discounts to make people want to buy it. There's a difference between stunts and service. Instead of building up hype, build long-term customer loyalty.  Real sells because real is trustworthy.

We all need coaches. Even coaches need coaches. Having a coach puts you in the shoes of your clients. Isolation and insulation leads to a slow death. All of us, even coaches, should be constantly growing. We all need someone to speak life into us. Invite truthtellers into your life.

What life stage is your business in now? Some businesses are in the infant stage while others are in the adolescent stage — unaware, selfish and believe the world revolves around them. This can make you susceptible to danger. But there are also some advantages in that you can move and change faster than "adult" businesses.

For most people, darkness represents something they don't want other people to discover. For me, darkness is where the work happens — the personal growth. It should be what prepares you for the spotlight. In the light of day is where the busyness and distractions are. Is what you do in the dark something you are proud of or something you are hiding?

I love the fact that people have commitments and agreements and they don't need someone else to motivate them to get them out of bed. We need to have our own internal passion and motivation. You can give someone the steps and the instruction, even the accountability and reminders, but not the motivation. We all need to be people who own our own motivation.

The perfect suit makes you feel confident and you tend to be more outgoing. The perfect suit helps you not think about yourself and be self conscious but instead focus on other people.

A big thank you to a woman who called me out in a cool way. She's not the first time to comment on me recording my Daily Show while driving, but she is the first one to ask me to consider the people who are watching me who might do the same and get hurt. Even though I'm doing it in a safe way, other may not be. I don't ever want to hurt anyone, so I've decided to no longer record while driving. The big takeaway from this experience, sometimes presenting your point with a different angle can make a difference.

I trust the advice of experts. My friend shares with us the difference between a tuxedo and a suit. You can dress up a suit to look like a tuxedo but you can't dress down a tux to look like a suit. It's important to have the right attire for every occasion.

If you can discount a personal growth product, it's probably not that good to start with. This is an example of playing the short game. Instead, create a new product for a great price. Another example is using your e-mail list to sell a bunch of affiliate products. We need to view our e-mail list as people, not a list — people who have trials, struggles and big events. Play the long game. Don't be like everybody else.

Most of us are scared to go all in. Whether it's a business idea, a relationship or a conversation, try to go all in. You will likely win big. Everyone can tell when you hold back (your clients, spouse, child). Going all in will differentiate you. Be all in or all out.

Follow up is the grind work that is most often overlooked. People invest thousands in conferences but they fail to follow up. Personal, relevant follow up is how I grew my business. Follow up makes people feel like more than a number. It shows them you care.

I used to always want to be the smartest person in the room, but I realize now that it's more important to surround yourself with smart people — people smarter than you. Don't try to be a one man or one woman show. Write down the one or two things that only you can do, then everything else you should delegate to others.

Recently on Veteran's Day, the bank was closed. I saw many people come and try to get in, very confused that the door was locked. Even though there were multiple announcements that the bank would be closed, people didn't make the connection. How do we apply this lesson to our business? Realize that you can tell people all day long that you have products for sale, if you don't ask for the sale people won't make the connection. You have to ask specifically for the sale. If you're nervous about this, remember that all you have to do is extend an invitation. If you're serving and providing value, all the sale is is asking if they would like to continue to go deeper.

Sometimes we get so hung up in the here and now. As I look at the history in London, I am reminded that we should not get caught up in the hustle and bustle of business that we let life pass us by. Instead, take a deep breath, stop and reflect. How can we make our lives count. Have an eternal perspective. What are you going to do to make your life count.

I met an historian in the UK who is passionate about history. Jess Osborne says, "if we understand the roots of our past, we can choose to keep what is good and get rid of what is bad. If we don't understand the mistakes of our past, we will repeat them. When we learn, we grow. And when we grow, we become.