Parenting Today’s Teens

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: Forgive and forget.  Is that happening in your home? When it comes to parenting teens, I’ve learned some things about forgiveness: First… forgiveness is more about you offering it to your kids than them asking forgiveness from you.  Plain and simple, your kids won’t automatically come to you, explain their wrongdoing and ask your forgiveness.  That’s a learned skill and has to be developed over time.  For now… you’ll need to model it and offer forgiveness. Second… forgetting is essential.  Make sure your kids know that you not only forgave… but you won’t hold the wrong against him any more.  Bringing up the past destroys any element of hope for change in the future.  Don’t undermine the process by digging up old dirt. Mom and Dad… choose to forgive …and forget. ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: Hey parents!  What’s one question you hope your teen will never ask? Would you seize up if your kid asked you about the mistakes in your past?  Would you draw a blank if your son questioned your faith?  What if your daughter wants to date another girl? There are a lot of things that parents might fear in this world.  But I’d encourage you to face hard questions with unflinching courage.  Begin to appreciate how your child is learning to think for himself.  And give honest answers in every situation. Many times your child is simply exploring different ways of thinking… and they’re verbalizing their process.  Eventually they’ll settle on their own answers to mistakes, faith and sexuality. Your job is to stay steady in the journey.   ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: If your teen is becoming someone you don’t know—or even like—do something about it. When teens spiral out of control and take the family down with them… moms and dads can start with the simple message of truth and consequences.  Let your son or daughter know that negative behavior will no longer be allowed or tolerated at home. Don’t expect your teen to like the fact that you’re calling a halt to inappropriate behavior.  In fact, their first response will likely be anger or resentment.  But your job, Mom and Dad, is to stand your ground.  The time your child will spend hating you is short… but the foundation for peace in the home will last for years. So, hey.  When things are going south at home… take action!   ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: I was always told to hate the sin but love the sinner.  That worked well as long as the sin wasn’t one that bothered me and the sinner had already changed his ways! For those of us who have teens at home, it’s obvious that keeping sin at arms’ distance isn’t an option.  We live day in and day out with other sinners at home.  And most of the time the culprits haven’t conveniently moved past their sin!  We’re right in the thick of it. So, what does this mean for families? First… we need to acknowledge our imperfections and lean on God for help. Second… offer grace—even in the midst of sin. And third… ask for, and give, forgiveness at every turn. ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: Walk on to any middle school or high school campus and you’ll find an undercurrent of violence.  Not physical fights between boys… but emotional battles between girls! Understanding the world your daughter lives in goes a long way toward helping you respond to her needs.  Whether she’s the aggressor or the recipient of others’ aggression… be prepared!  Consider these practical tips: Let your daughter know you will monitor her texts, email, Facebook and camera.  She’ll live up to what you inspect… not what you expect. Report any harassment or Internet bullies to school officials or other parents. Talk to your daughter!  Share your concern for what goes in her ears and out of her mouth. Mom and Dad… let’s work toward stopping emotional violence among our girls.   ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes hereHALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY: The fastest way to make a teenager groan is to utter the words, “I’ve got a job for you.” That’s because in an entitled teen culture, work is seen as a punishment, not a gift. Today on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston gives parents the tools to change a teen’s perspective—and perhaps your own, as well—on the value of work.  Don’t miss the discussion… today on Parenting Today’s Teens! Special Guest: Tim Elmore ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: When our daughters are young, there’s a temptation to give in to “princess thinking.” We buy our little girls princess dresses… we throw them princess- themed birthday parties… and dads and grandpas call them “our little princess.”  We want our daughters to feel special and beautiful.  We want them to stay in that stage of innocence. The problem comes when all of our little princesses go to middle school.  Suddenly hundreds of little girls are fighting for territory, boundaries, position and retention of the crown.  It’s what I call, “the princess brawl.” Mom and Dad… if you have pint-sized royalty at home… beware of the battle ahead!  She can be your little princess for a season… but make sure she understands the dangers of a make-believe world.   ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: C.S. Lewis lived a half a century ago.  But he said something that could apply to teenagers today! C.S. Lewis wrote, “If the home is to be a means of grace, it must be a place of rules.  The alternative to rule is not freedom, but the unconstitutional tyranny of the most selfish member.” Is there someone in your home—maybe a teen—who is tyrannizing the entire family?  Is the most selfish member running over everyone else?  Maybe now’s the time to create some rules and boundaries. Create an environment where the rules provide safety, security and protection.  It’s not about ruling over your teens.  It’s about teaching rudimentary skills of discipline. As C.S. Lewis so eloquently said… rules at home can actually be a means of grace! ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: If you have a teen living under your roof, God has placed a special call on your life.  It’s to trust Him! It’s not an easy assignment.  In fact, it may take a lifetime to learn.  But children are given to us by God… and when they become teens, you and I have an extra need to trust Him. God is working in your teen’s life.  His involvement extends far deeper than the little bit you can see right now.  There’s a bigger picture in God’s camera than the snapshot you stare at most of the time. Mom.  Dad.  Take this assignment seriously.  Trust God’s involvement in your teen’s life.  At times, it means backing off.  Doing so will cause you to grow… and your teen to flourish!   ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: Are you more of a question parent… or a lecture parent? Questions get you to think outside the box.  Good intuitive questions push you to consider something other than what’s comfortable or habitual.  Well timed questions make you think. Lectures communicate important information… but they can also cause tune-out.  Your audience sits there passively listening to you, until they finally glaze over and turn down the volume knob. When it comes to communicating with your teen, think about whether you’re lecturing or asking questions.  The best method is to engage her mind with questions… communicate value by listening to her answers… and then sharing timely wisdom in an engaging way. Are you a question parent or a lecture parent?   ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: One of the instructions I give to parents on a regular basis is this:  Meet weekly with your teen. It doesn’t matter what your schedule looks like, or how many after-school activities your teen has.  Put a date on the calendar every week and meet one-on-one.  At first your conversations will most likely stay on the surface… what friends say on Facebook or how their brothers and sisters drive ‘em crazy.  Silly stuff. But give it time.  Eventually this date with your teen will lead to deeper conversations.  Soon you’ll begin hearing your child’s heart… and understanding him better.  You might even get a shot to impart some wisdom in an engaging way. So don’t wait!  Put it on the calendar.  Meet weekly with your teen! ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes hereHALF-HOUR PODCAST SUMMARY: Is your teen distracted easily?  Often forgetful?  It could be your son or daughter has ADD.  Or they could be simply lacking in maturity!  On this edition of Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston explains the difference between medical and cultural ADD … and how to help kids who might be struggling with the symptoms.  An important conversation about a growing trend … this week on Parenting Today’s Teens. ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: Are you a lifeguard?  Or a swim coach? I grew up in the water.  Every chance I got, I was swimming or diving… and even competed nationally.  So, I got a front row seat to both lifeguards and swim coaches. Lifeguards scrutinized the swimmers… looking for any signs of danger or horseplay.  Unless something was wrong, they didn’t normally jump in.  A coach, on the other hand, was involved in training people to swim… to stay afloat when the water got deep… and to cheer on when someone reached a personal best. So… which are you?  When your teen is home, do you watch for danger and jump in to to rescue?  Or do you walk alongside and coach him how to swim?   ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: Parents today long for a better relationship with their kids than they had with their parents. When my kids were young, I wanted to give ‘em stuff.  I wanted to provide for them and outdo what my parents had done for me.  I kept thinkin’ it would make me a better parent.  But what I thought I was doing for my kids… I was actually doing for myself!  I found personal value when my children felt dependent on me. Somewhere along the line, we’ve gotta change our approach.  We need to quit providing everything … and help our kids provide for themselves. Even though it feels unnatural at times, don’t let your own needs overshadow what your teen truly needs.  Mom, dad, teach your sons and daughters what it means to be free.   ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264

Click To Hear Podcast via iTunes herePODCAST SCRIPT: What’s the ultimate goal for moms and dads?  Well, if you’re a parent of a teen… in the back of your mind you should always be thinking about how to move your son or daughter toward independence!   Healthy teens are on a journey toward freedom.  Wise are the parents who spend every day inching their kids toward this worthy goal!  We want our teens to become self-sufficient. At age twelve, start giving more responsibility to your child.  Let him make some decisions on his own.  Then, each year after, deliberately choose bigger and more weighty choices to entrust to your child. It won’t happen overnight, but you need to choose, everyday, to slowly move your child from total dependence to total independence.   ©2013 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org. Email: markgregston@heartlightministries.org. Phone: 1-866-700-3264