Wholly Made Life™- ReClaim your Whole Life, Tap into God-Sized Fulfillment for the Success Driven Woman, Mama, Wife, Sister

EP 15 Are you Hearing from God? Is Holy Spirit Leading your in your Steps in Your Life? Useful links: Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: com Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: atoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: toninirogers_facebook Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/whollymadelife Order your Easter Devotional here with $10 off: http://devotional.atrogers.com Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! atrogers.com   Welcome back sisters to this episode of Wholly Made Life, where we're going to talk about the spiritual piece of our pie. We're going to talk about, are you hearing from God, are you letting the Holy spirit lead you in your daily steps? But before we get into some simple things that you can do to really hear from God and really focus on those steps that are led by the Holy spirit, I want to let you know that this episode is sponsored by a company that I love. I have gotten several daily planners from these guys and, um, devotionals, uh, and they, right now, they are launching an Easter devotional and I highly recommend it. I just got mine in the mail. I have a $10 off coupon for you, if you would like to go and take a look, they are amazing. It's amazing quality. I've actually purchased a couple planners for some of my friends for Christmas, and they absolutely love them. It is really aligned with the message that I talk about as far as having a wholly made life.  These devotionals, that daily planners really help to keep you focused and in a very intentional and deliberate way on the Holy spirit on God and on who it is, you are meant to become the soap devotionals that they have on their site that you'll see have different focuses that you can focus on, like rest leadership, trust, surrendering. Those are just some examples, but it helps the prompts help you focus on something for the day for the week, and you can use it however you want to use it, but it does help you focus on who it is that you are intentionally trying to become based on who you feel you're called to be. Uh, so this is Easter devotional, like I said, it's just now being launched! Go to https://devotional.atrogers.com. Once again, https://devotional.atrogers.com.. That's how you can get your $10 off. All right. So let's get into today's episode where we're going to talk about, are you hearing from God? So I think a lot of times when people that are in have not been as intentional, uh, or just don't really know how to hear from God or whether they're hearing, hearing from God, sometimes this feels a little bit, um, woo is the only word I can think of, although that's more like a new age word, but, uh, more, you know, all this high-level stuff that, you know, you think that you're going to hear this boisterous voice from the cloud saying, thus, say it the Lord. And you know, that's not exactly what I'm talking about. Now. There could be ways that people hear from God in that way, but I want to start with giving you a few tips on how you can start intentionally listening and hearing from God. So the very first thing you want to think about is your relationship with God. Just think about if you will, your best friend, think about how you interact with your best friend, how you interact with someone who is, uh, a trusted person in your life. Maybe it's your husband. Maybe it's a really good friend. Maybe it's a pastor. Uh, maybe it's a teacher. So someone that you have a very trusted relationship with, think about how you talk to that person, how it's just real and genuine. Someone, someone that you feel comfortable with, someone that you feel like you can tell some of your secrets to, uh, you can process some of those feelings and thoughts with that. You can't always process with someone else, well, relationship in which you feel comfortable and safe sharing. Well, that's the same thing that God wants with us sisters. That's what he wants with us. He wants us to have a relationship with him in much the same way, where we feel safe with him and comfortable. And we feel trusting enough to share all of our feelings, our fears, our doubts, our questions, our angers, uh, everything that we might talk about with a friend. He wants us to have that same conversation with him. So you think about these relationships that you've had that are trusting and that are really good, safe relationships. They're ongoing. If you're thinking about your best friend or your husband, you wouldn't think twice about picking up the phone and calling that person and letting them know, Oh my gosh, just guess what happened to me today? Here's what it is. And you just wouldn't second thought that at all right? You wouldn't give a second thought to that. So the same thing needs to happen with God. So the same things that you're wanting to talk to your girlfriend about, or your husband about, um, those are the things that you want to talk to God about. And yes, it's different because that person is not right there on the other end of the phone or in physical sense. But God's there all the time and his relationship with you. He wants it to be ongoing. He wants it to be intimate. He wants you to talk to him. And the only way, if you think about it, the only way that you can hear from someone is to talk to them. Okay? Now certainly we can write letters, which you can do when you journal. Uh, you can pray all of those things, but if you want to hear from someone, you gotta be having a conversation. Okay. And you also have to stop talking long enough to listen. So that's the other key. Talk to God on a daily basis, make it an ongoing relationship and talk to him just like you would anybody else. And also, uh, stop talking long enough to listen to what he might be saying to you. So that's one number one. Talk to him. Number two, sit still and listen. And I'll talk a little bit further in a little bit about how you can listen, because it might not just be with your ears. Okay? So the second thing I want you to think about, so you're going to talk and you're going to listen. The second thing I want to talk to you about is, think about what your motive is. Why do you want to hear from God? What is it that you are yearning for? Is it relationship? Is it just to be close to him just to know that he's present with you at all times, or is it only when you need something from him? When you're asking something from him, think about your friendships and your, your spouse soul relationship. Again, if you're only going to those people, when you need something, that relationship is not real reciprocal. Is it? You don't just call your friends when you need something from them. Do you? Because if you're just always going to your friend, when you need something, then that friend doesn't really receive anything from you and God wants to receive from you too. He doesn't want you just to come to him when you need something, he wants to receive your love, your presence, your acknowledgement, your thanks, your praise. Um, just like your friend would, you know, your friend wants you to call just to check on her sometimes. Hey, how are you? How was your week? How's your mother, Those kinds of, uh, reasons To your friends. And of course the relationship with her husband certainly has to be reciprocal. You have to have a two-way relationship. And so God wants the same thing. So think about when you're thinking, man, I want to hear from God. Is it only in those times that you need something for him, from him, or you need an answer or you don't know the answer. So you're wanting him to give you the answer or is it an ongoing relationship? That's two way you talk to him, whether you want something or not, you talk to him and give him praise and thanks every day, whether you want something or not, or whether you need something or not. Okay. So think about it that way. Think about the relationship that you have with him as being this two way reciprocal relationship. The next thing is, are you willing to really hear from him? What if you hear from him, something that makes you uncomfortable or that challenges you in some way, are you really willing to, when you do hear something from him to be obedient and do what it is he's asking you to do, that is something that I think is even more challenging than just having that daily conversation with him. When you finally do hear something that is challenging or outside of your comfort zone, what are you going to do with that? So I would recommend that you pray for strength and wisdom and discernment, and you asked for the ability to be obedient enough and strong, bold enough, courageous enough to when you hear him. And it's not exactly what you thought it would be to be bold and courageous enough to take that step. Recently, one of the very most challenging things that I have ever, ever heard from God was to resign my position as chief nursing officer. Now, this is a longer story than what I had time for here on this episode. And I'll probably do kind of a second part to this so that you can hear the whole thing originally. I was just feeling restless and I really loved leading and building my team in my nursing environment. I really loved that. That's my favorite thing. I love building teams and helping people grow. I just felt restless for some reason, though. It started a while back, but it's something that I just didn't really pay attention to. I actually intentionally kind of pushed it back. They ignored it. And as those feelings got stronger and as I continue to have my relationship with God, I talked to him about, I started to ask him, why am I feeling like this? Why am I feeling so restless? I started to hear from him in different ways when I actually heard the loudest was when I was forced to be the stillest and the quietest that I've ever had to be in my life. So in July, late July, I was diagnosed with COVID. When I was diagnosed with COVID, I of course had to quarantine and I had to be in my room. I could not be a mom. I could not be a wife. I could not serve in my church. I could not work. And I have worked all of my life since I was 14. I have worked, I have had a job. And until I became a director in a nursing position, I had two or three jobs. I just worked. That's what I knew. That's what I did. It's part of my outward explanation of who I am and seeking that worthiness. That's what I did for just so long of my life. My success at work was something that made me feel worthy. And so when these things were stripped away from me where I couldn't be mom, I couldn't be wife. Couldn't serve in my church. I could, there were no sports going on. Um, and then I couldn't work. I couldn't lead. I couldn't fix systems. I couldn't answer questions. I mean, I was completely cut off. I had no computer access. I was no longer on call 24 seven. I was just left with myself. And so I was forced to be the most still and the most quiet that I've ever been in my life. Now, granted, I was sick for about two weeks. And so I just slept and rested. You know, it's funny how sometimes God will use those times. Not that he caused this, but he uses it for our good, he works all things together for our good, so I was resting and finally really focused on taking care of myself so that I could get better. And I wasn't tasked with taking care of anyone else. And so what came from that was me thinking about, and I believe it was God asking me, who are you now? You're not just a mom. You're not just a wife. You don't just serve in your church. And you're not just a chief nursing officer. You're not just your title, your position, your salary. And so when he started asking me those questions, when he said, I know who you're not, but not who you are. I was dumbfounded because I didn't know who I was either. Now I've been on this journey of unbecoming for years, I'm becoming perfectionism. I'm becoming, uh, this little girl who felt so unworthy and who hated her body hated the way she looked and didn't feel like she ever compared or matched up to other people. I have been unbecoming all of those things and doing the work too, to really understand who it is that God says I am. And so I've been diving into that word and repeating that there was a season where I wrote down everything I found in the Bible that God said that I am, and I wrote it down and I would read it. And I would say it out loud every single day. I did that for probably about a year so that I could be reminded of who it is. God says I am. But when he asked me that, I don't know, I know who you're not, but not who you are not because he doesn't know who I am, but because I still was finding myself in the titles and the positions and the tasks of what I do versus who I am. That's an example of what God has said to me that has challenged me to take some steps that were bold and creative courageous, because what that came down to was after now that didn't happen overnight. Okay. That happened over a period of we're talking. I was restless for months, probably over a year. Life happened as things happen. And then as COVID hit and everything was stripped away, that's when it just got so loud, I could no longer ignore it. And there were a lot of other things that happen during this timeframe that really kind of solidified for me what it is I need to do to refocus my life at this time. It doesn't mean that I won't go back to doing what I was doing before. I will do it differently when, and if I go back saying, he said, leave it forever. But for this time and season, he was asking me to trust him and give up everything that I had worked for as an offering to him, my title, my position. I mean, I studied a long time to become a nurse. So I then a lot of time and money, blood and sweat and tears, uh, getting to where I was as a chief nursing officer. I mean, for the long time, I had thought that my path was going to be chief nursing officer to chief operations. Uh, and then to chief executive officer, you know, he said to me, I will bless you and I will favor you as I always have, because you're my daughter. And I love you. And I've given you these gifts, okay? But this is not the path that I have for you right now in this season. And I have more, I will show you, but you have to trust me with the two things you've never trusted me with before. And that is your finances and the control of what's next. As I said, I've been working since I was 14. I have never ever quit a job without knowing what's next, in fact, without a promotion. So I have never quit a job without a promotion. I have always taken a next position based on a promotion that I was giving. And of course those promotions, except for one time always came with a salary raise. And so I was at the highest peak that I had ever been financially. And the other piece to that is that our financial household, my husband works full time, but we're at the point where we need both of our salaries. We've got three kids in private school. Uh, Clayton had just started college. So that's a college tuition. And we have our house that we got. Uh, we were blessed with, that's a whole nother blessing story, cause we should not have qualified for this house that we're in. Um, but we have our house, we have our two cars, you know, so we've got bills that we have to pay. And I have always felt because I was the oldest child because I had to take care of some things. I just have always felt the burden to carry that, um, to carry my part, at least to carry my part, to make sure that we're okay. And with that comes my own trust in myself and my works versus trusting that God knows, and God has plans and God will provide. And so I had never given that to him, the most sacrificial offering I could give would be my title, which meant so much to me because of all the outward achievements that I I strived for throughout my life. So the title and the position itself meant something to me because I made it mean something to me. I made it mean something that was a worldly, something, not a biblical, something like that's pretty cool. When you say you're a chief nurse of something in this world, but that doesn't mean anything in heaven. You know? So it was this sacrificial offering of giving him my title and position, but also the finances then thirdly, was the control, the lack of control, then not knowing, okay, God, if I take this step and I resigned my position without knowing what's next, that makes me crazy. Like I don't, that was the hard, hard, hard thing. I mean, I don't do those kinds of things. Um, so after lots of prayer and after lots of confirmations, I finally decided to take that step and resign. Okay. So let's get back to our goal of wanting to hear from God. One of our, instead of our goal being, you just want to hear from God, you need something. It should be about developing that mature spiritual relationship with God, a daily ongoing conversation that happens as you do this, he will reveal to you in ways that you can hear and notice. So the question becomes, how do you hear from him? How do you hear, how is it when you hear me saying, Oh, I heard God say, was it aloud, audible voice? Was it like thunder and lightning? Well, it wasn't. So there's some different ways that you can hear. Some people do hear a loud audible voice at times. Uh, some people see it in dreams. Some people have visions. Some people say they see angels or have an encounter with an angel. Some people say that they experience a miraculous event. A lot of the times what happens is that they come in your own thoughts. The thoughts that you get are sometimes the way that God speaks to you. I remember we were on a trip with my pastor and she was preaching at a small church. And I remember asking her because she's very prophetic. I remember asking her, how do you know if you're hearing from God? And I explained to her a situation where I was getting ready to pray for someone. And I got a thought in my head that said, pray for this girl. She's sad. She's in some darkness, she needs to know the light of the Lord. Um, and so those were thoughts that were in my head about a girl that I didn't know. I just felt drawn to her. And I felt, and I, and I kept thinking, she's depressed. She's sad. She needs some joy. She needs a, you need to pray that joy is restored for her. So I went ahead and I was obedient to that, to those thoughts. And I went up to her and I talked to her and I prayed using the words that the thoughts were bringing to my head about restoring joy and light and finding small things that she can rejoice in. And, you know, I don't even remember everything. And that's the thing when you, when you're obedient, sometimes when you pray for someone, it's not really your words, it's just whatever the words are that that person needed to hear. So it was just a thought in my head and it was a feeling and a knowing a draw, a pole. And so I talked to my pastor about that. She said, yeah, that's how you're hearing from him. Just lean into that and practice listening and being more intentional and being obedient when you hear those thoughts. So you're, you're not hearing with your ears, you're, you're having a thought. And then you're having a feeling of knowing or a pulling or a drawing that you need to be obedient to this. You need to do this. It's the same thing when I'm like my child, my youngest Bryson, when we're driving. And if there's someone that's on the side of the street and they, maybe they have a sign for something. And he says, mom, I think I want to give him my McDonald's or whatever that is him following what the Holy Spirit's nudging him to do. And does he get that every single time? No, he doesn't. So that's how you know that it's, it's a drawing. It's a, it's a, it's a way to hear from the Lord. It's a way to hear from God from the Holy spirit, nudging you to do something that feels a little bit uncomfortable sometimes. Okay. So there's a knowing, there's a feeling there's a thought, and there's a piece about that. And the more you listen and have conversations with God, the more you start to have these thoughts. And then for me, the thoughts then start to get confirmed. Now, some of those thoughts like this one, when I'm talking about praying for this girl that just happened. And so I was obedient and I did it, but there were other thoughts such as the one that I need to resign my position that took me months to be brave and bold enough to gain the courage to do. But through those months, as I continue to have the daily conversations with him about, are you really asking me to do this? Like this doesn't make any sense. I am scared. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to take a step without knowing the step I'm taking, but that's the whole point of faith, right? And trust. And that's the whole point of what he's asking us to do. So that's the other thing is that, you know, if the thoughts that are coming to you that are continually, repeatingly coming to you and even being confirmed in other ways, if those are in alignment with what the word of God says, then you can trust that that is God leading you. So, you know, I did a lot of digging and it about faith and trust and, you know, handing things up to him and those all confirming alignment with what it is, was he was asking me to do it, think about this. This goes back to what we've talked about in other episodes, as far as thoughts go, uh, because we've talked about how we need to be intentional and deliberate about our thought life and making sure that what we're feeding our right mind is as much as possible in alignment with the word of God, because the more that we're in alignment, the better we can hear and recognize when he's trying to speak to us, reading the word is another way to, um, not only get closer to him and build more relationship with him, but also to confirm the thoughts that are coming to your mind, study the word, had these thoughts, and they were confirming the thoughts to be in alignment with the word. If you're not clear on something, if you feel like you've had these thoughts and you're in the word and they feel in alignment, and you're not clear yet, you can ask God, just ask him, say, God, make this clear for me. Give me a confirmation, help me feel at peace with what it is that I feel like you're telling me to do. Based on the thoughts that I continue to have another example for me, as far as confirmation was, once I had gotten to the place where I decided, okay, I'm going to resign the day that I went in, I was returning from actually taking my son to Arizona to drop him off for college. I was returning from that time being off, I went to work in the first person that I spoke with came and she gave me a birthday present. And my, my birthday had been about a month prior. She just hadn't gotten it yet. And she says to me, God told me that you needed this. And it was a plaque with some scripture on it that said, and I don't have it in front of me right now, but basically trust me without borders, spirit lead me where there's no borders to the trust. And there's a song for that too. So I'm sure you guys are, some of you are remembering what that song is, but it was about trusting him when there are no borders. And immediately I knew I had made the right decision and I went in and I gave my resignation that day. Uh, now I gave them notice and such, you know, I did the right thing. I had already known in my heart that I needed to do that, but I was still scared and I was still nervous about doing it. But when she came to me and she says to me, God told me you needed this. And so this is what I got for you. It was a plaque talking about trusting him when there are no borders where I don't know where I'm walking now that was straight confirmation. And so immediately I lost it. I started crying. And of course she was like, I don't know why you needed this, but, and I said, well, I do. I know that's an example of a confirmation that might come outside of your thoughts. Maybe it's a song that pops on the radio. Maybe it's something one of your kids says to you. My kids confirm things for me all the time and they don't know what they're doing. God knows, you know, he's leading them. It's just one of those things where once you get to a point where you are hearing those things, you will get those confirmations. And then as you mature in that relationship and you start to lean in and be more obedient, you will hear from him and feel more solid in those things. Feel more at peace without needing all of the additional confirmations. We've talked through this thing about hearing from God, and it's about, uh, building the relationship. Okay? Let's just recap. You want to build that relationship with him. You want to talk to him every day. You want to be in his word every day. You want to have an ongoing conversation with him, just like you would with your friend or your spouse. You want to make sure that that continues whether you need something or not. And you want to assess whether or not you're really ready to hear from him because he'll only give us what we are ready to hear. Like if he had told me that five years ago, honey, that would not happen. I was not mature enough for that. I wasn't ready for that. So I don't want people looking or hearing this from me thinking, Oh my gosh, she's so grateful. But no, listen, I just wasn't mature enough in the past to hear about this. So it comes with maturity. It comes with your walk, your constant walk, your ongoing walk. And I'm still walking this thing out every single day. There's days that I throw my hands up. And I'm like, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea. I don't know what's next. What are you going to show me? What's next? Okay. So it's a relationship. It's an ongoing relationship. Okay. And it's a trust that I am listening and I am doing everything I can to be as obedient as I can. Anytime. I feel like I'm hearing the next step from, from him. Uh, and by the way, this podcast was one of those steps. And it's weird to think about, Oh, God told me to start a podcast, but the podcast just kept popping up and popping up. And there were lots of different confirmations along the way that made me realize, okay, start a podcast. And the same thing was I don't, what do you want me to start a podcast about? I don't know what to talk the talk about. Um, but you know, I just am obedient and whatever, he I'm trying to follow what he leads me to talk about. Relationship, making sure that your motive is good and that you're wanting to him to be present and just be real in your life. Uh, being willing to, when you do here, take those bold and courageous steps that he's asking you to take using wisdom and discernment and the word, okay. You, you have to be responsible and use wisdom and discernment. That was my prayer for months. Let me have the wisdom and discernment to make a decision that impacts my family financially. Um, ultimately for me, it was the right decision and he is providing, you know, that might not be what he's asking you to do. So you just have to know what he's asking you to do and use wisdom and discernment in that. Um, making sure that what it is that the thoughts that are coming into your head or what it is you feel like you're hearing is in alignment with the word. And, uh, then making sure that you're intentional to sit still and listen, and then be obedient when you hear it. The last thing is to write things down. He has been urging me to write it down, write it down, write it down, everything. So when you feel like you're hearing from him, maybe it's a daily journal. Maybe it's using a devotional and you're journaling in that daily devotional, but write things down so that you can keep track of what it is you feel like you're hearing from him. You know, if you've got these thoughts, come into your mind that you feel like, uh, you know, Holy spirit is that you then write it down and you can go back and you can see a pattern. You can see a record of the seasons that he's brought you through. Maybe it's a walk through maturity spiritually. So make sure that you write it down. We will see you on the next episode.    

EP 14 Fixing the Foundation of Your Wholly Made Life- Strengthening the Areas (Pieces of your pie) of Your Life Yes. I always love Fridays and it means something so much different to me now than it did a couple of months ago, but I still love Fridays mostly because I know that Dwayne's going to be off work and we're all going to be home together and still navigating this whole COVID quarantine type stuff with no organized sports that any of my boys are in and stuff. It just, and now that it's snowing outside and really bitter cold, I know that we're just going to spend time in the house together. And it's just such, it's just a much more enjoyable time than it used to be because of my situation right now. So anyway, but it's been such a long week. I know I was able to post that bonus episode for you guys, which was like just five minutes long, but I was so excited to get into this series that I talked about on Monday. So we're going to get into the initial part of this series, but I wanted to, um, first just tell you a little bit about my week and something else I just listened to by somebody that's so special to me, I just found it so encouraging. And I wanted to make sure that I shared it with you guys too. But so this week I was actually traveling. I traveled to Chattanooga, which is only about four and a half hours away. Um, and I did that because part of a process that I started several months ago was going through, I've been working with a entrepreneurial coach. And part of that work that we're doing is franchise discoveries and working through just finding out about different opportunities that match my personality and my skill sets, my history, uh, my interests, my passions, what I feel, my mission is all of these things. And so it's just been part of this whole discovery process that I've been in in these past few months, but I was in Chattanooga and it's amazing. And you know, you sign a whole bunch of agreements, not to share a whole bunch as far as what it is and the things about it, but it's a pretty amazing one. Anyway, that was really fun. I met a lot of great people. I saw a lot of kids lives being impacted, so it was pretty cool. So I, while I was gone, I wasn't able to record just because it ended up, I took everything with me. I was, I was so set on getting the recording up for this week and getting a, what I call batching, getting several of the next episodes done while I was there at the hotel by myself. But our day was so packed and I was just exhausted. So I did not get to do what I had planned to do a simple, because I didn't realize how much time in the day that was going to take. And then my other two days, the Tuesday and Thursday were mostly traveling about four and a half to five hours. So, uh, and then I had a meeting at the church last night, which was really good. So anyway, that has been my week and now I come to Friday and I just got off an awesome mastermind call with a group of friends, uh, sisters that I'm getting to know. And they're also amazing. Uh, but I just, before I get into it, I wanted to share my friend, her name's Tammi. She has an Instagram page and I'm going to pull it up for you guys. Uh, it's called chasing time and drinking wine. And she that's her Instagram page, but she said something, it just popped up in my feed as I was going to actually post some stories.  Check it out here: https://www.instagram.com/chasingtimeanddrinkingwine/ She said something that just caught me. And it reminded me of you guys because of what we talk about in taking bold and courageous action. So she was actually doing an Instagram live, talking about an encounter with God that she had when she was a child. And the reason she chose to do it online was because she knew that she may lose courage to post it. If she just recorded it for lots of reasons. But sometimes when you're sharing your faith or sharing personal counters, that you've had those things aren't always received as you intended them to be received or meant them, or sometimes they're just not received in a way, because some people that may be hearing it may have not had that kind of encounter don't understand it, whatever it is that causes those fears and doubts to creep up in our minds, when we are getting ready to share something that may feel a little different, a peculiar, a little odd to others, those spheres and doubts. Sometimes that creep up sometimes make us not follow through with something that we said to do. So it just hit me. Number one, I love her. So this is my sisters, my bio sisters. Okay. Her husband's brother's wife, her name's Tammi. She's amazing. I love her. She's my sister. I call her SIS because, um, you know, there's so many of the brothers and sisters on Brian's side, my brother-in-law and I love all of them. They're just, they're an amazing family. So anyway, I love Tammi and, uh, she just touched my heart. I mean, she had me crying. It's about 13 minutes, but it's an amazing story. So you got to go check her out and it's chasing time and drinking wine and I'll I'll connect, uh, something to her page in my show notes, in case you want to take a listen, but it was an amazing story of just the way God shows up in our lives so differently. He loves us each so much. And he shows up in such different ways. I mean, it reminded me too of, you know, my son, my oldest son, Clayton is 18. And when he was about four years old, he, we were in our old house and he, Dwayne, my husband was working and he ran up to me. It was a Sunday morning. He ran up to me and he was so elated, like so excited. And he said, mom, mom, mom, we got to go to church. We got to go to church. And this was when we really weren't going to a church. We really weren't involved in anything. And I asked him, I said, okay, well, what makes you say that? Uh, we were, I still had him in public schools at the time. Um, and he said, I just saw the feet of Jesus. And he told me, go tell your mom that it's time to go to church. And he was four. So there's things like that that happened that you just can't explain. But when you really think about all the different things that have happened in your life and the connections with people that he's made, everything is so divinely set up. That's what I believe I can look back and look at every circumstance and see, when you look back how that circumstance pointed you or got you to the next thing. So anyway, I don't know why I felt like I needed to hop on here and talk about that because my intention is to talk about getting us into how we're going to fix the foundation of our Holy made life. W H O L L Y and H O L Y, by the way, there's a little play on words there. And that's purposeful back to what Tammi was saying. The reason she hopped on that life is because she knew that she fear or doubt might stop her from sharing that story. And it was an awesome story. I'm not going to tell you what it is because I want you to go listen to it and go find her. She's such an amazing soul. I love her Tammi, if you're listening, I love you, babe. It just, again, reminded me of you guys, because I think that the way that we step into who it is that we're called to be who it is we're being asked to become on a daily best, uh, basis, is to take the bold courageous steps, one bold courageous step at a time. That's it sisters, that's it one bold courageous step at a time that we can't take back. And we're intentional. And we've talked about this, you know, in my accountability series, if you haven't listened to those episodes, jumped back in the, up in the beginning episodes and listen to the accountability series. But it's about being deliberate and intentional in what it is we're doing and saying, and trying to be intentional about what it is we're thinking about and what feelings and emotions that causes, and then what actions we're taking as a result of those things. So that our outcome, when we look at our life, make sense to us. And we have a say in it, ownership of that. So sisters, we're going to talk about fixing the foundation of your Holy made life. And I know I introduced this on Monday, but I want it to get a little bit deeper in and how we're going to navigate this over the next few weeks and going through the pieces of your, uh, life wheel or your purpose pie, or, uh, so here's the thing, guys. Um, email me, if you have an idea on what you want me to call this thing, uh, I talk about it as I I'm very visual, so I have to see it on paper to see it in my mind. So I think about a wheel and I think about a pie because as we look at this pie, or even like a spokes of a wheel, you split it up into six different areas. We talked about what those areas are, the person, the personal piece, the spiritual, physical, relational, professional, and financial. Those are the pieces of your Wholly made life. Those are the pieces of your Holy made pie, okay. Or the wheel that wheel of life. So if you have a fun way to name that, like purpose pie or Holy life wheel, um, you know, those aren't like super fun, but it kind of gives you an idea of what I'm talking about. I want to talk a little bit about how we are going to walk through my system for strengthening each piece of that pie, each spoke on that wheel so that you are stronger and strengthened and more confident in each area of your life so that you can feel whole, most people may know, but maybe you don't that I'm a nurse and I've been a nurse for over 20 years.  20 years, 2005, 21. So no, not quite. Um, but I've been in mental health for since 98. And I've been a nurse since 2005. So there we go. There's Beth. But for a long time, I feel like, and I've done a lot of different things. I started off in nursing with the neonates. So the NICU babies, my favorite favorite, favorite favorite, because I got to deal with the little babies and some of these babies, you guys were the size of my hand. Like that's not a joke when you see or hear about babies in the NICU, those 21 or 22 weaker those micro preemies, they are literally smaller than the Palm of my hand. And I have small hands impacted. That was so great to be a part of obviously saving and taking care of these babies. And it was one day at a time taking care of these babies as they grew, you strong enough, their lungs grew strong enough. Their bellies grew strong and They grew strong enough to come off of their oxygen and, uh, start to try bottles, uh, and be able to tolerate being held on their mother's chest. The best part of that was working with the mamas and the dads of course, too, but helping be that face for that mama who couldn't do what she was designed to do once that baby was born to be the face that she came into every day and said, how's my baby boy doing? And you being able to tell her the hard stuff and the great stuff and the triumphs, and even being with mamas who, whose babies didn't have the outcomes that they had hoped walking through that with them was such an impact on my life. Like that was literally my favorite bedside nursing, because I got to care for the babies and the families, especially the mamas. That's why my heart, I think too, that I love that so much because my heart is with mamas. You know, I think that we are amazing, amazing creatures and something that we're designed to do, which is to, to walk in through this motherhood is such a gift and we need our sisterhood to help us walk through that. So anyway, I don't even know where I got, Oh, I do. Um, the other thing that I've done, I did some pediatrics and home health. I mean, I've done everything in hospital settings and sense of care. I done, uh, on the floor, nursing med, surge nursing, um, or the Predix, uh, I wasn't even on a HEMOC floor. So blood and cancer disorders, but my favorite was NICU. And then also psych and behavioral health. And the reason I love psych and behavioral health, if you can't tell, I am way, way, way into my own personal self-awareness so that I can create the outcomes with the help of the Holy spirit. Of course, anything I ever say, you got to know that my belief is that it all comes from God, like my strengths, uh, you know, all of that comes from God, but so just that caveat there, but the, I love being more self-aware of what I can do to grow so that I'm a better person for other people. And then behavioral health, you either get that or you don't, if you're gonna get it, behavioral health is a place to do it because you are the skill, you are the tool, um, you, it's not like, okay, you got to get a straight cath on somebody. It's definitely one, two, three, and you just do a skill. You are the skill. So if in, if you get an undesired outcome, when you're dealing with this person, with this behavior, then you have the only thing you can control is going back and looking at yourself to say, okay, did I assess that correct correctly? Did I understand that person correctly is what I did or said, or how I stood? Did that help or hurt the situation? What can I do differently to get a different outcome next time? So it's just a great place to be, to understand yourself and understand that everything you do and say how you stand, how you hold your body, everything you do and say impacts the other person that you're involved with. So that goes back to that whole accountability series, too. The more aware we can be at that, the better outcomes we get, because we start taking responsibility and ownership of what we can do to create a better outcome for ourselves and for others in our life. So being a nurse you're trained to be holistic. You want to look at that whole person. So I'm not just looking at a I'm looking at what's going on with that person physically, how does that person feel what's happening in their finances? Can they afford their medications? Do they have a home to go to, do they have a parent here? Uh, are they getting along with their husband? Um, what school do they go to? What kind of education, educational opportunities or background do they have? You're looking at the entire thing. So it's a holistic approach, which is why I approach the, uh, the Holy made life assessment and the Holy made life wheel or pie holistically. I want us to be whole complete, nothing broken, nothing missing. I want us to be whole, which means that we have to feel that balance. We have to have those boundaries in every single piece of our lives. Every all of those six areas that we're talking about, the personal, the spiritual, the physical, the relational, the professional, and the financial. If all of those things are not in order, then we are not walking through our life feeling Holy made, feeling whole complete. And so that's the work that each of us are called to do. And that's the work I'm here to help you with. That's the work that I help coach women with is how can we look at our lives and see where it is that we can put some attention into or put some actionable goals into so that we can bring that back to a more balanced place where each piece of that pie is fulfilled and you are able to walk every day feeling whole. And it's not to say some of those things don't fluctuate at certain times, because absolutely they do. If you're starting up a new business, then you're going to have more time spent more actionable steps in that professional, but the relational and the physical and the spiritual and the personal and the financial pieces touch that. So you have to then make adjustments in those other areas so that you don't fall completely out of whack. And that's one of those things that I have worked on to come out of, especially related to that professional piece is making some different choices so that I don't get into that situation where I was so unbalanced, where everything I had was being spent in that professional pie, a piece and everything else behind that was suffering. Now, I will say that my last position I had, I was very high on the spiritual and the professional pieces. In fact, that's the first job that I really leaned into being very open with where the love that I have for people, the love that I have for nursing, the love that I have for leadership comes from, and that's from God. And I will say that is the most productive, the fastest growth in my team that I've ever seen. And the only thing that I did differently was be open with where the love that I have for what I do and who I serve comes from. So there's something to be said about that. So here's what I want you to do. So we're going to talk about this, cause I want you to be set up and I talked about the assessment that you can take. And that's just really like a six question, uh, assessment, and it just gets your juices flowing. I talked about that in the last one. So you can do that by looking at my show notes and clicking the link that goes to the Holy made life assessment. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to draw a circle on a page, and this is where we get to your actionable steps. For this episode. I want you to draw a circle on the page, and I want you to split that circle into six pieces. So you're, you're looking at either a wheel with spokes or you are working, looking at a pie. And so you have six different triangles. They're all the same size. They should be all the same length and same size, uh, so that they look pretty, even because if you're talking about a holistic approach to your life, a Holy made Holy life, you're going to have equal parts. And the goal is always going to be to try to keep it balanced and have an awareness if, and when things start to become unbalanced. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to write above each piece of your pie. So you have six pieces spiritual. The next one is physical. The next one is relational. Next one is professional. The next one is financial. And the final one is personal. I want you to write those above each piece. Okay. And then you have the middle where they all kind of join. Okay. Now what I want you to do is I want you to just quickly look at each of those pieces and rate yourself and the way that I want you to do this visually is from the middle of the pie. I want you to start coloring in up to the top. If you feel like you are, let's say the spiritual. If you feel that you are way, way, way good on the spiritual piece, that you are doing everything that you know how to do, you're spending enough time with God. You're, you know, you, maybe you preach the word. Maybe you share the gospel, or maybe you do a daily devotional. You pray every day. You just feel very fulfilled. You would color that went all the way up to the top of the pie piece. So that whole pie piece would be colored colored in. Does that make sense? Now, if you go to, let's say let's pick financial, let's say you've colored it up to the top or near the top. Okay. Now I would, if people that have worked for me know when we do evils every year in, let's say the scale is from one to five, my people know don't be giving yourself fives, because if you give yourself a five, you're telling me that you had zero room to improve. And I don't believe that any of us ever had any, um, a place in our life where we have zero room for improvement. So I would challenge you to, if you think that you're at the top, then, is there anything else that you could do to, to improve or is it over the top? Is your cup flowing so much over that it's taking away from another piece. Okay. So you might look at that and say, yeah, I'm at the top, but is there anything you can do differently or once you color in all of your pie, is it so unbalanced that you need to pull back a little bit on some of that? Okay. So there's my, uh, leadership supervision, supervisory stuff coming out, because I'm always challenging people to grow no matter how great they are. Uh, and it doesn't mean that I never gave any fives because I did give some bias. But it certainly, when you are working on your own, uh, leadership in your life, in your areas of your life, it is helpful for you to always have that. Self-awareness of where, what can I do to grow more? So, okay. So let's go to financial for an example, let's say that when you think of financial, you don't feel satisfied. You don't feel like you're making enough money or you don't, you're not saving anything. Maybe you've got a great salary, but you're not saving anything. Or maybe you're not putting away what you want in retirement, or maybe you don't have a fund for emergencies saved. You don't have a thousand bucks in a checking or savings account where if something happened, you could pull from that thousand bucks and you would have a plan to replace that. So things like that think about you, you know, what is your financial legacy? Are you building that? Do you, do your kids have something to grow on when, if something happened to you? So you would color in from the middle, again, out towards the top of the pie where you think you are with that. So I want you to do that and all of these sections and just real quick, so that you kind of get a feeling for, what are we thinking about in each section in case you need some clarification on what each section is. So we talked about spiritually, this is where are you with your relationship with God? Do you have a relationship with God or are maybe you are going to church every week, but you don't really feel like you're hearing from God, which is one of the things we're going to talk about is are you hearing from God in your life? And how do you know that you're hearing from him? And are you letting the Holy spirit lead you at all? Do you feel those Holy spirit nudges those God winks are your steps in alignment with what you feel you're being called to do. Okay. So those are examples, spiritual, physical. How do you feel is that how you look in the mirror? How do you feel about how you look physically? How do you feel about your body? How do you feel about the movement that you're engaged in every day? I want in this section, because this is a big one for women and we know it. And this is one that, you know, in my, uh, previous episodes, I've talked about it. I've struggled with my body image for a lot of my life. I'm 44 years old, and it's been there for most of my life. And it's 100%. The last thing that I focus on in the past, I want you to be real careful about that. Are these thoughts that you have or about yourself, or is this really factual in what you see? I want you to take it down as factual as you can. So physically, how much do you move in a day and what is the answer? So let's say you take a 10 minute walk every single day, then that's what you think about. And do you feel like that's enough for you? Okay. So are you meeting those goals that you have, have you set goals that you are meeting? And if you don't, then you have some room to grow that you're identifying. Now we will go deeper in this, in each of these sections as we discuss, but I'm just trying to give you some examples of what would be in each section relational. You're going to think about your motherhood. Where are you with that? Your sisterhood or your friendships? Where are you with that? Maybe it's your church relationships, maybe your sir you're serving or volunteering. I like to call it serving, uh, because I don't feel like we're volunteers in the kingdom of God. I think that we're called to serve and love. But where are you with that? Do you feel good about those things or is there work that you feel like you need to do, uh, in your marriage? And if you're single, then you think about the other relationships that you have in your life. You're going to color in again from the middle towards the top of the pie on where you feel like you are relationally. I will tell you that for a long time, for many, many years, my relational was very low because I felt very uncomfortable with my performance and my time and energy that I had for my motherhood. And especially my marriage professional is your career or what you do on a daily basis. If you are a stay at home, mom, and you are managing your household, your CEO of your household, then you can think about that job that you have to maintain your homestead and color in what it is you feel like you are doing in that piece of the pie. So count that in that piece of the pie, because, uh, hun that's, that's a hundred percent your CEO of your homestead. So think about it that way. Okay. And we talked a little bit about financial and then personal is going to be your self care. How are you personally taking care of yourself? That was always a very low one for me as well. This is where your mindset is, how much mindset work do you do? How much self-development work do you do? And that might fall into spiritually because a lot of the self development work I do is related to biblical principles. I don't want you to get too woo here, but just think about, you know, are you taking care of yourself? Because you know, on an airplane, you cannot, if something starts to happen and something goes down, you cannot take care of anybody else. If you don't put that oxygen mask on yourself first. So that should be a balanced piece of your pie. And if it's not, then we got to talk about, you know, how we're going to strengthen that. And there's a solution, a resolution to all of this. I don't want anybody to color in these pieces and be like, man, my life is in shambles. Absolutely not. So this, this is why we do it though. This is putting it in front of us. So now once we've identified this and you've got your pie, you've got your colored in and you see what the, the differences are in each triangle of that pie. Then what I want you to do. And this is something that you can take action on now is thinking about what one thing can you do in each of these sections of this part of these pies? What can you do today to make time? Hi, for each one of those categories? What can you do per week to do something? To help you get a little closer to the top in each one of those categories, this is about small actions, findable steps. And we'll talk about it more as I get into each individual piece of these pies. And some sections might have several episodes like the physical that one's going to have several episodes, for sure, because there's so much that goes into our physical bodies. It's not just about the way we look it's about what we think it's about what we've learned. It's about movement. It's about choices. It's about food. It's about emotions. So that one's going to be several episodes. But what's one thing. If you look at your pie and you say, Oh wow, I am like, I'm super high on the spiritual and the financial. And I feel pretty good about the relational, but I, Whoa, this looks pretty low on the personal and the physical. So what are those, you know, you can do it like that. You can focus on the pieces of the pie that look lower to you. And the other thing I challenge you to do is if you feel like one is way towards the top, while others are down, then look at that piece and ask yourself, what is it about this piece of the pie that is so fun? Why is this so full quickly? The example is like, when I looked at my professional, that was always full, um, so much so for me though. Yeah. And it was overflowing and it was taking up space from the other pieces of my pie. So it started to become damaging. So you have to assess like when I've colored in my PI several months ago, professional was way, way at the top. In fact, I wanted to color past the tippy top of the, of the pie piece, but my other places, most of them, at least four of them, relational, physical and personal three, at least three of them we're pretty low because, cause I didn't have enough time. I wasn't being intentional, intentional. That's not a word ladies. I wasn't being intentional about how to pour into these other pieces and also be successful in that professional career piece of my pie. I wasn't being intentional about it. So if I'm not being intentional about it, there's a reason. And a benefit that comes from that. One of the things about behavior guys is that we behave in certain ways because we get certain benefits and I'll tell you, number one, the benefit I was getting in my professional and career slice of pie was the confidence and competence that I felt from what I did. I I'm an excellent leader. I, and I'm not saying that trying to brag, it's just a gift and it's so much so that I don't know what makes me good at what I do all the time. I mean, I've got people that I supervise back when I was a teenager that I will see or hear from every now and then. And they're like, you were the best boss I ever had. You were the best supervisor ever. And it's like, I just, in fact, can you help me understand what I did differently or said differently than make you say something like that? Because sometimes guys, when we have gifts, we don't even know the gifts that we have. So that's the other thing we'll talk about as we go through this whole process of strengthening our pieces of our pie, we're going to identify with those strengths and those gifts are, and maybe it will help you see on paper, what the passions are that you've been given and what purpose is behind that passion and what you can do with it and why it's a gift and how you can use it. But those things, yes, if you allow them to, they can be overshadowing and take over and take away from other places in your life, which is what I was allowing to happen because I felt so confident and competent in what I was doing. I would just, the truth is I'd rather be at work than have to come home and try to clean up a house where I feel very overwhelmed because it's such a huge mess and I just don't have the time or energy to clean it. And I don't even know where to start and I can't get the help that I need. You see how it goes into this whole big thing. In my mind, these are the thoughts that I'm having that are driving the behaviors and the actions that I'm taking. But that's why I was so comfortable. Just let me work 70 or 80 hours a week because honey, I know I'm good at that. And then I can also escape or avoid the things that I didn't feel like I was great at. Anyway, you see what I'm saying? It's about who we are and what gifts we've been given. This process will help you. And this has gone like way longer than I wanted it to. So these are the way I want you to do, make your circle split into six sections, start coloring it in where you feel fulfilled and you feel like you're doing pretty well at, and then ask yourself questions about where you feel like you're either overflowing or too short. What is the one thing I can do or make time for in that category? And I want you to write it down. And then as we go through this process of strengthening these pieces, we will talk about how we can actually create an action plan to attain some of the goals that we're going to come out of. Just the awareness. Now, the way that you're looking at your life differently so that we can start to make it manageable. Okay. That's the point we want to make it manageable so that we get some results because it's not going to matter if we don't get results. Okay. All right, sisters, hope that made sense. And like I said, if you guys have an idea of what to call this thing, the purpose pie, the whole life wheel series, you know, throw it in there, I'm open for it. You know, I'm not always that creative, but we are going to work on fixing the foundation of your Holy made life. We're going to work on, um, my systems for strengthening and uncovering each of those things piece by piece. We're going to talk about how you're hearing from God. We're going to talk about your motherhood. Uh, we're going to talk about your marriage. We're going to talk about in mind, you know, by the way, because I'm, I'm doing all these things too. We're going to talk about money. We're going to talk about our physical, uh, our bodies. Um, we're going to talk about all of it. All right. So if you have any comments and if you want to take these short assessment, just to get your juices flowing about what questions would you ask yourself about each of these sections? Make sure you hit, hit that and link up in the show notes and we will see you on the next episode. And don't forget, I have a private Facebook group that is just building up a community that we can start to work on. Some of these things together. There's a lot of women in there that we can start to just bounce things off of each other because I promise you there's somebody in that group that if you are short on the financial section of your pie, there is somebody in that group that is amazing at that financial section. And they're going to give you some ideas for action steps. So let's get into community on this. Okay? All right, sisters have an amazing, amazing weekend. Hey, before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and give me a review. And you know, I'd love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women. Just like us. You're five stars in written review really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back, leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some luck. Thanks so much. And I'll see him the next episode. And remember your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come right back. Useful links: Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: com Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: atoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: toninirogers_facebook Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: facebook_groups Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! atrogers.com   If you enjoyed this episode of the Wholly Made Life Podcast, then make sure to subscribe to the podcast, and don't forget to give Angie a review. You can also take a screenshot of the episode and tag Angie in your Insta and Facebook stories.

EP 13: BONUS  What does a broken arm and a pink cast have to do with great timing? How to take advantage of timing- Hey friends. So what does a pink cast in a plate in my arm with seven screws have to do with great timing. That's what I'm going to let you know about. This was recorded back in 2015, when I had an injury and I wanted to share the information with you. So we'll see you on the inside. Let's dive in. Hey guys, it's Angie Tonini- Rogers. So I have a message to share today because on Saturday Keysha Bass on prosperity mindset call. I was listening to a repeat of that. And on Sunday, pastor Ronnie Harrison preached this and Monday on the way to work, being on my Sirius XM radio channel, preached this yesterday on the way home preach this. So clearly I need to share this with someone else because someone else needs to hear this- because I am getting this message over and over and over…it's timing. And it's timing is everything. And it is stop comparing yourself to other people and where they are because you are in the right place at the right time. And as long as you continue to take action during that time that you're in, you will have your success. You will have your promise. You will, you will attain whatever goal it is that you are working on. It will happen in the timing that it's supposed to happen. Not necessarily in the time and that you want it or you desire it. We don't always know what we ask for. Number one, we ask for it. But number two, sometimes we don't know the ramifications that will happen if we were to get that thing we're asking for right in that moment. So you have to understand that timing is everything and it will happen when it's supposed to happen. Quick story. What of my thing? You know, my, my broken arm here, I injured my cartilage in my wrist and it's called the TFCC. I ripped it a little bit. There was a micro tear in April. Well, it kind of, it healed enough; Or I adapted enough to where I could go back and start doing what I was doing before at work. You can't work where I work with an injury just because it's not safe to do so. So it healed enough. And I adapted enough to where I could go back. Well in September it tour again. And then I was out and I was out from September until, uh, February. We did a lot of PT. We did a lot of OT, just a lot of different appointments to try to see if there's anything else that needs to be done before surgery got scheduled. Well, it ends up, I needed surgery. So in February on the sixth, I think I was scheduled for surgery while I'll get a call the week before saying the surgeon cannot do that, or it wasn't February six might have been the third. Anyway, it, it was. Um, and so then the surgeon called and said, we can't do it that date. So it ended up getting scheduled the day after I returned from my Atlanta trip. And then I had the surgery, they had to actually break my ulnar bone and put a plate and seven screws in it. So I'm not a good experience at all, but nevertheless, an experience. So I had a cat, I had like a soft cast. And then I went on this Monday, not this Monday, but a Monday to get my cast, my hard cast, this cute little thing, but on, and then that, um, it just so happens that on that day there were some leadership changes that happened. And I was able to on Tuesday morning, get called in and asked, can I come and help on an interim basis, cover this position? Okay. New experience, new things that I knew, challenges for me and a new learning experience. And it is being spoken to all around me. So whether or not I need to share my testimony with you so that you know, that things will happen in their own time. And sometimes things will happen that you don't expect to happen, or you think is a bad thing, but ended up being something that helps get you to the right thing. So for example, who wants a broken arm? Not me, but if that's what it took to slow me down. And if that's what it took to get me to this spot, then that's what needed to have happened. So don't worry about what's going on. As long as you are doing the right thing and doing what you know how to do, you're seeking assistance, you are seeking, learning, and growing. Then you're on the right track. So timing is everything. Remember that? Hey friends, I hope you enjoy that episode on God's perfect timing. Even though things don't always work out the way we think it is always going to be perfect timing. Well, listen, how many of you guys have ever thought about starting your own podcast? Well, I just recently finished a course called podcast pro university done by Stephanie gas. She's an amazing podcast star and her class has everything you need to know in order to start your podcast from a to Z, check it out at http://ppu.atrogers.com. See you on the inside. Hey, before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and give me a review. And you know, I love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women, just like us. You're five stars and written really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back, leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some left. Thanks so much. And I'll see him the next episode. And remember your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come right back.   Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: com Resources: Connect with Angie on FB: angie.toninirogers FB Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: Wholly Made Life Community Group Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! ppu.atrogers.com

EP 12 Wholly Made Life Assessment- How do I Balance my Life Hey, welcome back ladies, and let's get ready because we are going to use this episode to set us up for preparation for our Wholly Made Life assessment. Let's get into it. Useful links: Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: angietoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: angie.toninirogers facebook Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: Wholly Made Life- Discover Hope, Healing, Purpose Community Group Welcome back to Wholly Made Life. This is Angie, Tonini- Rogers, and I am your host for the podcast. Some of you said you've been listening and we've just gotten through the accountability series, which was, um, I would say a pretty hard series to go through, but I really felt led to talk about some of those things because we're just in a season right now where I think God is calling us to rise up and be who it is. He's calling us to be, be a little bit more bold and courageous in our actions and be more intentional in what it is we're doing in our everyday life, so that he can prepare us to walk in the authority that he's given us to impact the circles that we are meant to impact. The next series that we're going to do is going to be related to your Holy made life. So in the beginning in the trailer, and in the episode one, I talked a lot about the Holy made life assessment, the wheel or the pie of life. And we talked about different sections of your life that are important. The first being physical, and these are not in any particular order, but physical, personal, financial, spiritual, your relationships in your profession. So when I think about a wheel, um, let's talk about it as a wheel of life, or I've talked about it as pieces of your pie, because it looks like a pie. When I think about that, one of the things that I help women with is to really get a good grasp on where they are in their wheel of life, where they are in each piece of their pie, so that they can start to take some easy action steps. Well, simple action steps to become a little bit more balanced in that wheel of life or in those pieces of your pie. The physical just as a reminder, is your health and your wellness. It includes your mental and emotional health. The next one, personal includes your self-care, your self-development and your mindset. The accountability series was a lot working in that personal piece of our pie, that gaining more personal awareness and self-awareness and what we can do differently to start to get some different outcomes in our life and to impact our relationships in our life. More positively and more powerfully. Uh, financial includes basically, are you satisfied with where you Are? Are you creating The legacy that you want to create? Are you able to help the person in the grocery that doesn't have her wallet with her or scans her debit card and it gets declined if you're so moved to do that, would you be able to do that? The other big piece with financial is your money mindset. So what are your beliefs about money? So those are the things that you would think about when you're thinking about whether or not you feel like your financial piece of your pie is balanced. Okay. Spiritual that is related to your relationship with God. Where are you with that? How much time do you spend in a day? And it's not about the number of minutes or number of hours, but it's about the quality of the time that you're spending with God. If you're like me, I talked about this in one of the episodes recently was that I like to bend time. So I have time every morning before my feet hit the floor. I had time that I'm talking to God and praying and thanking him and showing him my gratefulness for who he is in my life and how he has shown up. And quite frankly, if my feet hit the floor before I've done that, I feel a sense of guilt because I feel like I need to do that to start my day off so that I am prepared for whatever it is that happens once my feet hit the ground. So the other things to think about here is okay, back to how you've been time. So I've been time, meaning that I use the time that I already have, or already in doing something else. And I integrate my spiritual relationship with God into that. So for example, while I'm in the bathroom, washing my hands, I'm saying prayers, I'm talking to God while I'm in my car. There's a lot of times I just turn everything off and I pray or I sing worship songs. That's another form of how you can ignite that spiritual part of you. Okay. So relationships, this includes your motherhood, your, or your parenting, your relationship with your husband. So your marriage, it could be your relationship with your, um, friends or coworkers. For me. When I looked at this piece of the pie, when I was working full time as the chief nursing officer, I was working so many hours a week that I was neglecting a lot of my relationships in my life. And I felt very unbalanced. So I felt very confident in my relationships with my coworkers, the time I was spending in that professional piece of my pie, which we'll get to next. But when I looked at my motherhood and my relationship with my husband and relationship with myself, which is back to personal and physical, those things were not balanced. They were not balanced. Now at each time or at, in during seasons, you're going to fluctuate in some of these areas. There are going to be certain times that your profession might need to require more time than your personal or your, you know, you might spend more time spiritually growing than you do with your profession. Okay. There's times that this is going to ebb and flow, but in general, in order for us to really feel the intention of the joy that we've been given, be joyful in all areas of our life and really, truly live our Holy made life. We should be able to take small, simple steps every day to pour into the pieces of these pies, the physical, personal financial, spiritual, relational, and professional. There are small things that we can in each of those areas every day, so that we can feel more fulfilled in all of these areas of our life. And so that's what this next series of your Holy made life assessment is going to be about. We're going to talk about each of these individual pieces of your pie or pieces spokes to the wheel. And we are going to come up with actionable steps that you can take on a daily basis to fill in those areas that you feel like you are a little unbalanced in the last one profession is obviously your career or your business, or if you're a stay at home, mom, it is your duties that you do every day to keep your household okay. Or if you're homeschooling, what I would like to do is make sure that you guys are prepared for, as we go into these next several episodes to discuss each of these pieces. And I have a wholly made life assessment that you can take. It's very simple. It's very short. It's just to get you thinking. And then as we walk through each, each section over the next few weeks, we will elaborate on that assessment. So all that is is it will be in the show notes, you can click the link and fill out the form and give you guys some tips and some action steps that you can take. And by the way, if you need a little bit more assistance in some of these areas, that's what I do. I help coach women creating that Holy made life that they deserve using that assessment. And then we come up with actionable steps and the accountability is the piece that is helpful for most people. I think when you have that accountability partner to help you, not only see things maybe from a different perspective, but have someone that you know is going to follow up with you, and you're going to be accountable to related to the action steps that you have created. That just makes a world of difference. I personally have actually, I have a couple coaches, I'm in a couple of group coaching programs, and I have a personal coach working with over the past several months. And that is because we all need to pour into ourselves and we need someone to check us. We need someone to help us see things that we may not be able to see in our own life. We not, we may not be able to perceive things in a way that someone on the outside could look in and confirm us on affirming us on and also call us out on, in a loving way. That's what I do. And I am happy to help you. If you want to find out more about that, then you can email me at Angie, tonyRogers@gmail.com. And that also is in the show notes. But the next few weeks, we're going to be talking about each of these sections and we will work together to come up with some actionable items that you can focus on in order to get yourself where you're feeling a little bit more fulfilled in whatever areas you feel. You're a little unbalanced. And when you think about a wheel, if you know that a couple of spokes on the wheel are not quite touching the outer wheel, then that wheel is going to not function correctly. So when we're unbalanced in areas of our life, then other places start to fall. For example, when I was working, my energy was spent at work and I remained on call 24 seven. So even when I wasn't at work, my energy and attention and focus was still at work. And so it was impossible for me to really pour into the other areas of my life. Now, all of them had some, some things I was doing in each of those areas, but there were areas that were really low when you look at, um, how much time and how much fruit I was seeing in each of those areas, physicals and example my physical and self-care personal. Now, I always deal with self-awareness and mindset. I'm always doing that. I had a 45 minute commute. And so I consistently listened to books. I listened to the Bible on tape. I did all of those things to continue to fill my mind and to continue to challenge me, to grow professionally personally, spiritually. So I'm pretty good at that for mindset. And that should never stop by the way. I think it's Tony Robbins, who said, if you stop growing, you die. I believe that wholeheartedly. I'm an avid learner. I love learning. And I love learning things about myself because I know that that's the one thing in this world I can control. And if I learn more about myself and then I can work to change in order to impact the people around me, more positively, I love learning about the things that I can do better. I'm just kind of, maybe I'm a little weird like that, but anyway, so that's something I'm good at, but my physical health, that's the last thing I typically do. I typically am the type of person who will put everybody else first at the cost of myself. So like exercise, I, that would be the last thing on my list that I would even think about because I don't have time to do that because I'm doing everything else for everybody else. You know, my health, I recently started making some changes in my health, uh, trying to make better choices, to be a little bit more clean. Um, you know, the things I put on my skin, I want it to be a little more clean and natural and pure, so small things like that. But the big things like exercising and making sure that I am not eating fast food at 10 o'clock at night when I'm driving home from work, those kinds of things fall when you are so unbalanced in another area. So that's just an example. Those are things we're going to talk about in the upcoming series. I'm pretty excited about it because there's, I think that sometimes it feels so overwhelming, but there are small things, simple things that we can do in each of these areas in order to make a huge impact. So we're just going to walk through some of those things together. Okay. Next episode, we will start to go through each of these pieces of your pie, the physical, personal financial, spiritual relationships and profession. In each episode, we'll focus on one of those areas. Okay. So if you want to prepare yourself, make sure you hop over there and take that assessment just so you can have it. And then I'll explain how you can put it into a pie chart so that you can visualize where it is your balance, because I think sometimes visualizing it makes it a little bit more manageable and actually I'll have a bonus episode. That'll get posted this week that was already recorded. I actually refurbished it. It's just about timing in being in the right seasons of timing in using the things that happen to us in a way that reminds us, that it's all in God's perfect timing. And even when things happen to us, that seem to be negative or are hardships. It's all in timing and it's all in preparation. We're always being prepared for something coming. So there's a bonus episode that you'll see this week as well. All right, sisters, are we ready? Let's get ready. Hey, before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and give me a review. And you know, I'd love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women, just like us. You're five stars and written review really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back, leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some luck. Thanks so much. And I'll see him the next episode. And remember, your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come right back.   Useful links: Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: angietoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: angie.toninirogers facebook Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: Wholly Made Life- Discover Hope, Healing, Purpose Community Group Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! ppu.atrogers.com Hey mama. Welcome to Wholly Made Life where I believe that you are not created to do just one thing in your life. Well, you are not just your job, your title or your salary. You're not just a mom or a white versus sister. You are fearfully and wonderfully made to lead in all areas of your whole life. Your life is like a pie that's made up of different pieces that create a complete circle and girl, you deserve to enjoy the whole pie. Hi, I'm Angie Tonini- Rogers and mama. I know you are really good at what you do in your profession or business, but if you're ready to stop ignoring different pieces of your pie and reclaim your whole life, then you are in the right place. Girl, let's tap into the whole life. God has for you and experienced that God sized fulfilled life together. We're going to walk through some boundaries, leadership mindset and restoration in different areas of your life that may need to change. It's going to be some tough workup in here, girl, but we're going to walk this thing out together, uncovering some bold courageous actions that we can take to experience, not just a good life, but your whole life. Are you ready to live your whole life? Holy made. Let's do it. If you enjoyed this episode of the Wholly Made Life Podcast, then make sure to subscribe to the podcast, and don't forget to give Angie a review. You can also take a screenshot of the episode and tag Angie in your Insta and Facebook stories.  

EP 11: Salty Taste in Your Mouth? Enough with the Gossip, Girl! Accountability Part 5 Hey girl, what's up. Welcome back to Wholly Made life. So I want to ask you, do you have a salty taste in your mouth? Have you ever heard that saying, Oh, she's just salty or that let this salty taste in my mouth. So physiologically, that means that your taste buds are becoming more sensitive to salt. So you have a higher salt taste in your mouth, or you have a higher concentration of salt in your saliva that can happen when you get dehydrated. So the first suggestion is to drink more water, water hydrates you okay. It's healthy for your body. It, it, um, flushes out toxins. So we're going to talk about this, not necessarily an actual salt, but I want you to think about this analogy as salt being gossip. Are you ready for today's episode? Let's do it. In this episode is going to be short, but sweet. Well, maybe it won't feel that sweet. Maybe it'll feel a little spicy. It might make you even feel a little salty about what we're going to talk about. But I want to challenge you to think about gossip as the salt that makes you feel salty, or like you have too much salt on board. I think it's important to think about this in this analogy, because that's what happens. The more gossip you participate in, the more salty you start to feel about situations and people and the water, the stuff that's going to flush out. Those toxins are the actions we're going to talk about that we can take to take back our lives so that we don't have to feel so salty and so dehydrated. All right. And I apologize ahead of time because I am doing this for my laptop without my microphone and headset, because I'm sitting here watching my youngest Bryson outside, doing an episode of naked and afraid, except that he's closed, uh, he's into this whole camping thing where he's building a Fort and shelter and little places to build fires and all of these things. Uh, I love that kid. He's so creative…anyway. So I'm out here at the kitchen table with my laptop and just getting this episode recorded for you guys short and spicy. Okay. Uh, we're going to talk about the final episode and the accountability series. And that is on gossip. I alluded to this a little bit in the episode related to taking offense, uh, and choosing how that's a choice, uh, to take offense or not to take offense. And even though it's hard, it brings up the feelings and things within us that, you know, when we hear something or a part of an interaction, or maybe we are listening to our pastor preach and we get that feeling of emotion that comes up. Now, some of us have worked a lot on this and we may be a little further along where we don't really get that feeling of offense, but others may not be so far along or haven't practiced that skill of recognizing when those feelings come up for you, that feel convicting. For example, when somebody at work says something to me as a leader, if I've done or said something and somebody at work says something to me that I have, uh, upset them, hurt them. They didn't like the way I did something. And I feel a little bit emotional about that. I started to have some feelings, rise up, maybe I feel a little convicted or defensive. Those are all feelings that come up for us that we just need to stop and identify, what is this feeling? Where's it coming from? Why am I feeling it? And what can I do about it? And being intentional about identifying what those feelings are, so that then we can control our thought around those feelings. So that's what we talked about in the last episode. If you, haven't not in the last one in, um, episode nine, we talked about the taking offense or not taking offense. So if you haven't listened to that, you can go back and listen to that just for some ideas on how you can take back that whole premise of choosing to take offense or not to take offense, being mindful of when you are feeling offended. Okay. So on to gossip. So we talked about when you are offended or you're feeling offended, and you have that conversation with someone else about the way you're feeling or about that interaction, that, that then involves someone else in that trap. Uh, we talked about becoming offended and then acting in that offense because right, as a trap, not only for you and that other person in that relationship, but once you share that information with someone else, you are luring them into the same trap that you are now in. And that other person in the relationship is in. And we talked about how, if I don't like something Susie said to me, and then I go and share that with Emily. Now I've involved Emily in something that arose from an emotion that I had, some stuff that needs to be worked on within me, but because Emily is loyal to me or because we're better friends or because maybe she's had a bad interaction with Susie. Now, she is taking on that spirit of offense about Suzy. That damages not only my relationship was with Susie, but now I've entered information. Given information to Emily that has, has caused her to now hold something, hold a grudge against, or feel offended by something Susie did. And what Susie did her said had nothing to do with Emily. So you see how that creates that circle or that web of, um, this place where we're all trapped within this spirit of offense that leads into what gossip is. The Bible is very good, clear about our actions engagement in gossip in that we should not engage in it. There are so many scriptures that point to the power of our tongue, the words that we say, the accountability and responsibility we'll have about the words that we say. So I just wanted to talk a little bit about how we've got to be intentional about what we're saying and who we're saying it to. It is so often that something is happened between two people. And then you come, you hear from one of those parties, let's call it this one, Jacob and Jesse. So Jesse comes to you and he is upset with something that Jacob has done or said, you're the friend in this situation, you're the person they're coming to. Oftentimes that turns into a, he said, she said, or in this case, Jacob and Jesse, and he said, he said, and so the person that's receiving this information has to make a choice at that point on how they're going to respond. Are they going to play into what Jessie's saying without knowing all of the facts? Because a lot of times what gossip is, is just pieces of information that we, or may not, we may or may not have all the information about. So we're making judgment on something without having all the facts. This goes back into the episode, uh, assuming positive intent that we talked about, where we assume that we know all of the information about the situation and we make judgment against that situation. Or we come to a conclusion about a situation when the reality is, is we're really playing Mad-libs with our life. We are just inserting what we think happened based on what we know about Jesse and Jacob based about our own feelings based about our own past experiences. We're making something up without having all the facts. So that's what gossip turns into is just pieces of information that then we attach definition to emotion too. And it spreads like a cancer. It is something that is damaging on all levels to all parties, to the receiver, to the sidelines, to the, up to the, down, to the all-around it is damaging to anybody that it impacts. So let me talk a little bit about some of the Bible verses that, talk about this, uh, Ephesians four 29 says, let no corrupting talk, come out of your mouths, but only such as good is good for building up as it fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear. So what I try to do, and none of us are perfect. You guys. So when we're talking about this being accountable, this is a daily walk. Sometimes it's a minute by minute walk. Okay? Every second we're faced with choices faced with information that we have to make decisions about. So it's an act of being intentional with the information that we have and the information we share. So it's a daily walk, it's a daily practice. So I don't want anybody to feel like so that they can't do something different because every second, every step, every breath, every word is an opportunity to do something different and do something better. We're all striving to be better tomorrow than we are today. I want to be a better parent today than I was yesterday. Heck I want to be a better parent today right now in the moment. Then I was this morning, okay. We all do insane things that we wish we could have done differently. The point is we're being intentional and trying to pause and stop and think about the information that we've received and think about our own reactions and responses to those things. Before we respond and think about if I do or say this thing, what's the intention behind that? What is the outcome going to be? What is, what could the outcome be? Especially when you're thinking about sharing information that you've heard from someone else or participating in a conversation that's about someone that's not there and present to be able to defend themselves or add in their facts about the situation. Proverbs six, 16, 19 says there are six things that the Lord hates seven that are an abomination to him, haughty eyes, aligned, tongue hands, that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run evil, a false witness who breathes out lies. And one who sows discord among brothers. Now let me ask you, in most cases, if you think about the last time you participated in a conversation that had to do with someone or something that wasn't there. Okay. Let's say you were sitting in a group in the person that was being talked about, was not present. Think about that situation. Was that a situation that was sewing a blessing and favor towards the person that wasn't present? Or was it a situation or conversation that could have been sowing discord against that person that wasn't there? Was it a conversation that you would have had in the presence of that person? I tell that to my kids all the time, first of all, lead your life, be a man of character, um, or be, uh, be a man who has a character of integrity is what I meant. Integrity is doing the right thing when nobody's looking, doing the right thing, because it's the right thing, not the easy thing or not, because you're going to get in trouble. If you don't do it doing the right thing when nobody's looking, because it's the right thing with social media. And I just had this conversation with one of my kiddos recently with, okay, that post, when you look at that post, think about if your Mimi sees that, think about if your pastor see that, think about it. I see that. Think about if your teacher saw that, is that posts something you are comfortable with that person seeing when you think about these people that are close to you, people that matter to you, if that's a post that you wouldn't, if that's a conversation that you wouldn't have in front of your Mimi or me or whoever, or if that's a picture that you would feel uncomfortable with your Mimi, seeing Mimi like grandma, then you shouldn't post it. So it's about being intentional about what it is we're putting out into the world. Not because we want to put on a show or present something that's not true, but because we want to try to be obedient with who it is we're called to be, and we're not called to destroy other people or present ourselves in a way which is not in alignment with who it is we are. And we're called to be, when you think about conversations that you're part of or are having, and that the object of that conversation is not there. That the, the person with whom it's about is not there, then think about why are you having it? And number two, would you have that same conversation in the same tone, in the same context, if that person was present? And if you can say yes, then it's probably a conversation that's okay to have. Okay. Unless you're saying to me, Oh yeah, I haven't. Cause I don't care what she thinks about it. Well, that's not really in alignment with who it is we're called to be and how it is we're supposed to, supposed to love our brothers and sisters. Okay. Let's see. I want to just bring up a couple of other scriptures and you guys there's, there's like hundreds of scriptures. I wish I knew how many times gossip was referenced in the Bible. Somebody listening probably knows that if you do send me a message and let me know that is Matthew 12, 26, I'm sorry, Matthew 1236. As I tell you, on the day of judgment, people will give an account for every careless word they speak. So that's it carelessness the lack of deliberate being deliberate, the lack of intention. So that's really it as simple as it gets being intentional about what we're talking about, about what we're reading, about, what we're, um, listening to about what we are watching about or what we're posting on social media, being intentional and trying to think about is this, what's the goal of that conversation? Is it to build somebody up? Because if it's not to build somebody up, then what's it for? Is it to destroy? Is it to get somebody on your side? Is it because you are trying to make somebody look less than or worse than you, which that comes out of jealousy or envy? Is it simply because we don't know what else to talk about with someone maybe we're uncomfortable about making small talks. So we start talking about other people, is it to try to get the attention off of us because we're not comfortable or we don't want anyone to ask questions about us, maybe we're insisting. Sure. So what's the intention of what is you're talking about and you guys right now, I have, I always try to, Hey, very close attention to what I listen to, what I watch, what I see. Like I do not watch the news. I do not the only way I know, and this is, I want to be mindful of what's going on in the world around me. And so I do hear about those things, but I do not watch it and hear it myself. I am intentional about when I hear about something, I am intentional about the sources that I go to, to look up what has happened. Okay. So it's not that I don't know what's going on in the world, but I am very intentional about just sitting and watching the news or reading the newspaper because guys that comes from people and it comes from perspectives of the people, writing it and producing it. So you just have to be mindful of that music. I could not tell you what the most popular song is out right now. I could not tell you because I don't listen to music. Like in my car, I listened to positive podcasts. Mostly of most of them are Christian based, or I listen to worship music. You guys want really good worship music, go check out Lisa. Brunson's a couple of songs she just released. Uh, she's absolutely amazing. And I'm waiting on the violent worship EAP to release, but that's just the plug for some music that I love listening to comes out of my church. I mean, I'm telling y'all we have probably one of the most talented worship teams in the world. I'm just saying, and it's not, because I think there's something wrong with listening to secular music or anything like that. It's just that I try to make the best of the time that I have in the day. And while I'm driving, that's the only time that I'm not preoccupied with anything else other than driving. And it's a great time for me to listen to stuff that I am intentionally listened to, to something from. So it's not that listening and secular music is bad in of itself. And this episode, I'm not going to go into that anyway, but I just wanted to point that out. It's not that I, some getting to choose that never listens to secular music. It's just that I try to use the time that I have. I try to bend time. Honestly, is something else that I do is that every time I'm in the bathroom while I'm by myself, I always pray out loud because I'm trying to bend the time that I have in my day to add stuff into my day. Okay. But anyway, the point is, is that I'm very intentional about what I listen to. I mean, my kids know when they're in my cart, like my kids sometimes choose not to ride with me and they'll ride with my husband and said, or Clayton because they know, um, they're about to hear a podcast. I mean, honestly, is it, am I a bad mom? If I'm okay with them riding with somebody else so that I can have that 15, 20, 30 minutes by myself, you guys, what I, one of the things I miss most about my commute to work is that 45 minute commute is that time I had by myself for 45 minutes just to be by myself. Okay. No, that doesn't make me a bad mom just makes me real. Okay. So the other thing is that I can tell a difference with who they've been riding with. Uh, when I hear Bryson walking around singing, uh, worship music, it's because that's what he's been listening to. So there's something very real about what it is. We fill our time and space and mind with that impacts what it is we do and say, it's, there's something very real about that. This is why reading scripture every day, doing daily devotional, spending time with God being in your church, community, being surrounded with people with like-mindedness though. That's why that's so important. My pastor always says what you touch, touches you back. And that's a hundred percent true. It's not that anything's wrong with listening to music. Like I love the nineties. And if you asked me what my favorite music is, it's going to be something from the nineties. But I am intentional about what I listen to because I, I want to make sure that what feels up my mind in the times where I'm not really being intentional about what it is I'm doing. I want the positive stuff to come up first. Okay. The worship music to come up first in my head versus California love from back in the nineties, uh, with Tupac and Dr. Dre y'all know what I'm talking about. Okay. Um, that's really kinda what I wanted to talk about related to gossip. It's just the best thing that you can do is number one, not participate. Number two, just be intentional. And if you're bold and courageous enough, speak up when you're in a car that doesn't have to do with someone that's not present, or that has to deal with someone that's not present. Okay. Back to my quick, uh, analogy at work. When somebody comes to me with an issue, when Jessica comes to me with an issue with Josh, I equip Jesse to be able to understand, first of all, I point him in, on himself on what he can do differently, how he can go back and address the situation in a way that would hopefully encourage a positive outcome repair in a relationship. If that's been damaged, maybe help him see that there could be other perspectives or pieces of information that he may not have been privy to and help him think about the situation a little bit differently. And then if, if Jesse can't do that or is not comfortable doing that, then I pulled, uh, Jacob in and the three of us have a conversation where I allow them to have the conversation because one hun, well, 99.99% of the time there's been a miscommunication or a misunderstanding between the two of them. And they, they thought one mint, something else. When they said a certain thing, they filled in the gaps. They mad-libbed that conversation between the two of them. They thought, you know, Jacob thought Jesse meant this. And Jesse thought, Jacob meant that. And the reality is, was it was just a miscommunication to begin with because, you know, they didn't fill in the gaps with truth. They didn't give each other enough grace or forgiveness, or they just didn't ask the other person what they meant by that. They didn't, they weren't honest with the way the interaction made them feel with each other. So that three way then helps each of them see, Oh, wow, there's a different perspective. Or, Oh, wow. I didn't mean that at all. That's not at all. What was happening? What was happening was this, this, and this had just happened. I was upset about this. And so I was short with you when you asked me that question, it wasn't about you. So, so much can be resolved when you actually try to fill in the gaps with real factual information. And you actually go to that person and find out how they feel about it, or what happened with them back to your bull courageous action. When you're in a conversation where you hear people talking about someone who's not present, why not just say, Hey, has anybody talked to this person about this? You know, were you present? Did you actually see this interaction happen? Or is this hearsay? Do you have all the facts to the situation? You know, I think it would only be quote unquote fair to have her be present for a conversation or for you to go to her and ask her what she thinks about what happened. Okay. It takes more time to do this, but it, so it's so much more beneficial to your relationships when you can do it. And when you're intentional about the reasons that you are having conversations, it's so much more beneficial to your relationship. And it's freeing to not have to be burdened by gossip because gossip is a burden on the person that speaks it on the person that it's about and on the ears that hear it, it's a burden. So let's be bold enough to not create more burdens for ourselves and for others. All right, sisters, all right, that's it for the accountability series for now, this was a hard series for me to talk about because as I stated, we're all walking this out every day and nobody has it all right, yet. Nobody is perfect with this yet. And nobody will ever be. It's always a day to day decision. It's always with, you know, one step at a time, one day at a time, one word at a time, one thought at a time, one action at a time, just break it down to bite size pieces, break it down to one conversation and practice the skill of stopping and thinking about the outcome that could occur with whatever it is you're going to say next or with however it is, you're going to respond in this situation. Well, ladies, we are on to the next, the next few episodes are going to be about how to create your balanced, Holy made life. Okay. We're going to go back to talking about the pieces of our pipe. I'm really excited about it. And just as a reminder, I am taking clients right now. Uh, I have one hour sessions available right now. I have a couple of half-hour sessions available as well, but I can help you walk through this thing. We can come up with actionable steps for you to either be more accountable in certain areas of your life, or just start to balance out those places that feel a little bit out of whack. Okay. So if you're interested in that or have questions about that or have any feedback at all, or maybe it's a testimony or a story about what we've talked about, then go ahead and drop that into the email. It's always in the show notes. You just click that email and send me a message. And I'm here for, I love hearing from you guys because I want to know what you want to talk. You want to hear me talk about, and I want you guys to be part of the conversation. All right. All right, sisters, I'll see you On the next episode. Hey, before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and Give me a review. And you know, I'd love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women, just like us, your five stars and written review really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back, leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some luck. Thanks so much. And I'll see you in the next episode. And remember your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come right back.   Useful links: Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: Wholly Made Life Short Assessment Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: angietoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: Angie Tonini-Rogers FB page Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: Wholly Made Life Facebook Community Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! ppu.atrogers.com   If you enjoyed this episode of the Wholly Made Life Podcast, then make sure to subscribe to the podcast, and don't forget to leave me a 5-star review. You can also take a screenshot of the episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories.

EP 10 Are You in Prison? Stuck in Unforgiveness: Accountability Series Part 4 Hey, I have a question for you. Have you ever been in prison? No. Are you sure? I would guess that you are either currently locked up right now. You've been locked up or you're about to be locked up. I have in this episode, the key to let yourself out of the prison, that you may not even know that you're locked up in. Let's get into it. Welcome back to another episode of Holy made life. And today we are going to continue in our accountability series. So, so far we've talked about the accountability ladder. We've talked about, uh, assuming positive intent and how to stop playing mad libs with your life. And we've also talked about to choose, to take offense or not to take offense, some pretty hard things. I know, but it's a start to how we can start to become responsible and accountable for the things that are happening in our lives and just take a bigger ownership of what our responsibility is in each of those things. So today, we're going to talk about how to break out of the prison, which is called unforgiveness. Are we ready? Okay, well, let's go. So the first thing that I want you to do is when I say the word unforgiveness, I want you to think about that brings up for you. We can learn from it and we can move forward. We can choose right now today to no longer be the victim, to our own self hatred, our own self doubt, our own negative thoughts about ourselves, our own choice to not forgive ourselves instead of, yeah, we can choose to put that time and energy into what we know to be true. And that is that God sent his only son to die on the cross for us. And that we are forgiven. God's already forgiven us so we can do what we know. We go into prayer and we ask God to give us the strength, give us the revelations we need so that we can choose to forgive ourselves. Before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and give me a review. And you know, I love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women, just like us. You're five stars and written review really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back, leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some luck. Thanks so much. And I'll see you in the next episode. And remember your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come right back. Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: Wholly Made Life Assessment Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: atoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: CONNECT WITH ME! Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: facebook_groups Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! http://ppu.atrogers.com

EP 9 Accountability Series Part 3- The Spirit of Offense- How do I choose to be Un-Offended? Hey friend, what's up. Welcome to episode nine. This is part three of the accountability series, and I know we're talking about hard stuff, but we're going to be better for it. After we do it, we are strong enough to do hard stuff. I know you are. So today we're talking about to be offended or not to be offended. That is the question we're going to deal with. All right, let's do it sisters. [inaudible]  Hey friends, we are back for part three of the accountability series. And today we are going to talk about the spirit of offense, not often, but offense taking offense. So in the last segment, we talked about assuming positive intent and making choices to believe what is the truth or believe what is helpful for us to have better outcomes in our relationships. If you haven't listened to that, go back to episode eight and look, and listen to accountability. Series part two, where we talked about how to assume positive intent. We talked a lot about making a choice. And what I was alluding to in that episode is this whole idea of making a choice to be offended or not to be offended. I think it's important to realize that when you talk about being offended, that is a choice. Whether we like that or not friends to be offended is a choice that we make when we choose to be offended about something. Instead of dealing with the feelings that whatever that action was that offended us caused or hit it's like striking a chord when we're offended. It's because some feelings in us have arisen from whatever was said or done to us or about us or around us. Now, some people just walk around being offended about anything and everything, and others of us become offended at certain things that people do and say, I want to challenge you to think about this as being a choice. When you have those feelings or thoughts of being offended, I want you to step back and I want you to think about, okay, why am I choosing to be offended about this? And what's the underlying feeling that's causing this to rise up. What about this interaction? What was said, how I feel is making me feel this way. Ultimate thing offense is that it serves only to conquer and divide. It serves to break up unity because when we feel offended, we do act say things that we may not otherwise say, because we feel almost entirely titled because of the offense that we're feeling from that person, from what they did or said, when we respond that way, there's no other result that can come from that, except for yeah. Or division. We've had a lot of that this past season in 2020, there were a lot of words and actions that were taken that a lot of them people were offended by whatever it is. We want to talk about. Those things are events, information that we can use to become offended. And I think the challenge is to really assess when you have these feelings, what cord is being hit, what is pulling on your heartstrings? That's making you have this visceral reaction, this emotional reaction that then makes you want to guard yourself against what it is you're feeling. And Proverbs 10, 12. It says hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. So my whole stance throughout all of this, regardless of my position. And like I said, in the intro, I will not talk about politics, but I think it's important to, to understand that if we're choosing to walk in love and that's one of my main things, lead with love, walk in love, just love people enough, love them, hard, love them enough. So they know their worth and they know they're important and they know their significance and they know the impact they're supposed to have in this world. If we're choosing to walk in love, it's really difficult to choose to also be offended in Romans 16, 17, 18. It says, I appeal to you brothers to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you've been taught, avoid them for such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. That's their flesh. And by smooth talk and flattery, they deceive the hearts of the naive. So when someone's not walking completely with an understanding that it's our responsibility to walk in love and love others, no matter what side of the fence they're on. When our task is to love. If we don't understand that or we haven't taken that stance, then it becomes easier for us to become and then choose to stay offended. So one of the first things I do when I, when that creeps up in me is I assess what is it about what was just said? That hit me so hard that I feel like I'm offended, or I need to be offended. And then I deal with the emotion of that. Something within me, an experience I have had something that's happened. I deal with me and what's inside of me. And I turned to prayer and I focus my efforts on that. Versus the other person it's like bait in a trap, choosing to become offended, puts us in a trap because it ruins the ability to see that person in love. And then when you're responding in a way that's not in love, your relationship is damaged. So there's nothing really good that can come out of being offended. It puts gaps up between me and the other person. It puts bars up between us. It almost keeps us in our own little prisons and isn't it like the enemy to want to keep us separated and keep us isolated. I mean, this whole season of 2020 has been about division and separation and isolation. When there's an opportunity for us to stop the line and make a different choice that would not lead to our own isolation from others. Then my challenges for myself and everyone else to choose the thing. That's not going to keep us isolated the thing that's going to create community instead of destroy it. And guys, this is about a mindset shift. This isn't about this easy, and it's not about it being something that we're not going to struggle with. It's just about shifting our mindset to view offense as a choice instead of a passive thing. The other thing I want to talk about is when you feel offended by something that was said or something that was done, I would challenge you to really go to God about that instead of another person. And the reason I say that is because if offense is a trap to keep me divided from others or, or destroy the unity that I have in relationship with others, then adding another person to that mix can also damage that other person. Here's an example. This is the whole reason why I would never have a conversation about something I am really upset about with my husband, something my husband said or did with someone else. Because once I do that, I can't take that back. And so when I have forgiven him and I have, you know, moved on that person that heard that information doesn't have the same stake or benefit in forgiving him as easily as I would, doesn't have the same stake in that relationship. So now not only have, if I choose to be offended and I strife in our relationship. Now I have caused that Stripe, that the vision with someone else against him, when you're, when you're talking about something, that's happened with someone else, be really careful about choosing to share that with somebody else. If that person is loyal to you, then you are now causing division in a relationship that really has nothing to do with you. But now it's about you. So now, if I go tell, tell Susie what happened with Emily and Susie is my friend and is loyal to me. She then has to make a choice to be offended with me, which causes division between her and Emily. And that may not have been hurt her strife to carry in the first place. So your offense spreads beyond just you and your heart and that relationship that you're dealing with, the person that so-called offended you that can spread beyond like tentacles and it can grab a hold of somebody else and put somebody else in a space where now they're feeling offended and they're in division. And they're no longer walking in the primary focus of love for that person. And I don't feel like I ever want to be in a place where I have caused someone else to be divided in relationship with someone else, just because I had some emotions that I needed to deal with on my own. So that leads into with the next episode will be about, which is about gossip or slander. So I know these are things that are hard to hear and hard to talk about because again, my challenge to you and myself is always going to be to turn it inward, to look at yourself, what can you do differently to grow through this versus act out in a way that will damage relationships with other people or cause people to choose to walk out of whatever their calling is. If, if, if I involve Sally and now she's fallen out of relationship with Emily, well, what if that was a relationship that had some worse and some value in the kingdom? Now my action has caused Sally and Emily to no longer be friends when it really had nothing to do with either one of them, it's almost like poison sisters. Are we still friends? I know it's hard stuff, but I think in order for us to grow and be the women that we are being called to be, we have to be able to talk about this hard stuff. And we have to be able to set the boundaries with ourselves, with our own flesh so that we don't fall into these traps. That cause damage to our relationships with other people in our lives, because that's the last thing that any of us want to do. Finally, James one 19 says, understand this, my beloved brethren, let every man be quick to hear a ready listener, slow to speak and slow to take offense and to get angry. So I'll leave you with that. Let's be slow to take offense. Let's take that pause. When we feel offended and figure out what is that emotion that's creeping up for us and what is it for? Why is it there? What do I need to do with that? What do I need to reflect upon? What do I need to pray about and ask God to reveal to me what it is that's causing these feelings, because then I'm working on myself and I'm not focusing that outward expecting someone else to change. When I have no control over that person in the first place, that's an illusion to think that we have control to change anybody else in this world. The only control we have is over our own self, our own selves. So I want to end in prayer. God, I thank you today for my sisters, for my friends. I thank you for this truth and this revelation that we have the power and the control to reflect upon our own feelings and emotions that come up in interactions, in relationships and things that happen in our lives. God revealed to us when we are taking on the spirit of offense, instead of walking in love, reveal those things to us, help give us rest and pause when we experienced those things so that we can refrain from damaging the relationships that you have placed us in, in Jesus name. Amen. I'll see him the next episode.  Hey, before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and give me a review. And you know, I love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women, just like us. You're five stars and written review really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back, leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some love. Thanks so much. And I'll see you in the next episode. And remember your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come right back. Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: com Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: atoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: toninirogers_facebook Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: facebook_groups Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! atrogers.com    

EP 8- Accountability Series Part 2- Making Assumptions Makes a You Know What Outta You and Me EP 8 Accountability Series Part Two: Assumptions: Why Making Assumptions makes an A** out of U and Me   Hey ladies, welcome to part two of the accountability series. And this one is on the word assume now, you know what that word means, right? Well, if you don't take a listen All right. Let's jump right into it. We're going to talk today about assuming and particularly we're going to talk about assuming positive intent. Okay. So you know what the word means. Okay. I've been alluding to it. It makes an a** out of U and ME to assume, okay. It makes a donkey out of you and me the A S S and then the U and then the M E. Okay. So in general, it's a great idea, not to assume, but here's a situation in which you want to assume something. We're going to talk today about the technique that you can use in any situation at any point in time, that will help you move on and see things in a way that will be most beneficial to the situation to that person and to you and to the outcomes that you're looking for. All right. So assuming positive intent, this is the belief that everyone is always doing the best they can given their current resources, current circumstances, current level of education, current knowledge set, current thinking in any given situation. Okay? So when the, what it means to assume positive intent is that we are assuming that anything that happens in an interaction between you and another person, you're going to assume that that person meant positive intent. You're going to assume that that person had positive, positive intent for that situation. We're going to give the benefit of the doubt. We're going to listen rather than judge, when we're going to assume that they intended well versus judging a particular action. So assuming positive intent, it is leads to a better result. It shows respect for those. We are with those we're interacting with people that we're serving. It shows respect to our kids. It shows respect to her husband. If everything my husband does and says, I am assuming that he has positive intent for that situation conversation. Then my perspective on that changes, okay. My actions in response to that situation changes. So why do we want to do this? What is the benefit of this? Well, I'm going to tell you. Okay. All right.  So let's, first of all, think about this scenario. Let's say you walk up into the break room or into an office or into the church and you see two people whispering. And when you approach, they stop Whispering. So At that point, you've got information about a situation. You've seen two people that, you know, whispering, and when you walk up, they stop Whispering. So, You have a choice at that point to manage your thoughts about that situation. Okay. Here, here is what you could do Say that you start thinking about, Oh my gosh, what were they just whispering about? Like, what were they talking about? Why did they stop talking? When I came up, were they talking about me? I'm I can't believe them. They're horrible. We're in church for the love of God. I can't believe they're sitting here talking about me. Okay. How many times have you gone down that rabbit hole? How many times have you approached a situation in a break room where you see two people whispering about each other or whispering to each other, and then when you walk in, they stop or maybe they're laughing and you start thinking, Oh my Gosh, are they laughing at me? Like, what are they talking about? Do I have something on my face? Is my dress up my, okay, y'all ladies. How many of this has happened? Where you come out of the bathroom? And you're a little sweater that you had on is like tucked into your pants. Okay. Or toilet paper hanging out of your back. Do you start to think those kinds of things when people are, when you're faced with this situation? So think about this. So how could those thoughts they're talking about me? I can't believe them. They're horrible. How could they be talking and gossiping about people in church? How does that affect or impact your current interactions with those two people or impact the future interactions you might have with those two people? How does the, how do those thoughts impact your words and your actions and your thoughts about those two people or about that? Think about it. Okay. What about if, instead of thinking all those things we just talked about, what about if, instead you start to say to yourself, well, they must've been talking about something private, or I know she mentioned having something going on at home with her husband or her or Her daughter, or, you know, What, if you just thought, well, they weren't talking about me. How do those thoughts change the way that you interpret or perceive that interaction? How did those thoughts change your current response or your future thoughts about those people or that interaction in the future? How, how does, how does the difference of those thoughts? So that's the difference between assuming positive Intent or Allowing the negative thoughts in your mind? The way that you define the situation, whether it's based in truth or not, whether you define that in those negative thoughts, how that can impact your relationships in a very negative way. So when you're approached with something like this, you have the choice to manage your thoughts. Okay? Number one, manage your thoughts. If you start thinking all of these negative things. Oh, well, she's been, always been talking about me for a couple of weeks. She's she's been trying to get her against me. I mean, guys, those are thoughts that are damaging and they may not be true on top of it. So not only are you responding to a situation that will define the way in which you perceive or define that story of what's happening, which then Impacts your Future or current behaviors, you might be doing all of that. And it's all false. It's all made up. You don't Know, so You can manage your thoughts. The other thing is that you can say something to help define the story with truth from the other people that are involved. So let's think about this situation. You walk up on somebody they're whispering. They stopped talking when you came up. So you can say something, you can say, Hey guys, what's up. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. Was it where you're all talking about something private? Do you need a minute to finish? How simple is that? Giving them the benefit of the doubt that they were just talking about something private that they can't Share with you, or don't need to share it with you. You can ask a direct question. That's another thing you can do. You can ask, Hey, where are you guys talking about me? If that's what you truly think Is happening. Now, the Key to this asking these questions are that once they give you the answer, you have to make the choice to believe what they say in response as the truth. You can't ask the question and then continue to have that, those thoughts that are telling you what The real reality Is, right? Cause you're still making up that story. So let's say, they say, Oh no, we were, we were, you were good. You know, you can join us. We were just talking about Tacos on Thursday night. Okay? At that point you have Think the answer and you have a choice to believe that answer. You have a choice At that point. So believe that answer to accept something that has been shown to you. You have the, you have the choice now to accept that, to have the faith, that, that thing is true. You have the choice now under Understand that whatever you choose to believe about that interaction will play a significant role in how you perceive every interaction from that point forward. So let's say, they say, Oh no, we were talking about, you know, tacos on Thursday night. If you choose to believe that that's true. It's going to be really hard for you to have hard feelings and thoughts about them. That will then turn into interactions, uh, that create, uh, uh, bad or uncomfortable situation because who doesn't react well to taco Thursdays. Okay. Unless you start to get into, why didn't you invite me to taco Thursday? I left taco Tuesday taco Thursday, right? Okay. But you see what I'm saying? Like at that point when You do, if you choose Not to just manage your own thoughts and instead take an action and ask them something, ask them a direct question. Okay. Or say something, then you then have another choice to believe what it is. They said you can't then in your head say, Oh no, they weren't talking about talking Tuesday. They're lying to me because then you're still playing that story. And that's still going to impact your future interactions from that point forward. Okay. So you have a choice when you are dealing with anyone in any interaction. And if you choose to always assume positive intent with what it is they're doing and saying, if you believe truly that people are always acting in a way that is to the best of their ability in that given situation, then it makes it a lot easier for you to have more grace for people to have forgiveness for people to allow a little bit of mercy when interactions don't go, as they could have or would have, or should have. Okay. So even let's say this, let's see. So that you're in that situation and you overhear them and maybe you're putting two and two together and you feel like they were talking about something they shouldn't have been talking about. Let's just say, that's the case. You still have a choice to assume positive intent because regardless of their truth, whatever they were doing, your thoughts Controls how it Is. You respond and behave And act. Nothing Happens in behavior or actions that doesn't come first from a thought in your head Okay? Our actions, our responses, our behaviors come from thoughts. So if we make a commitment to practice this skill of always assuming positive intent, then it becomes a very, very difficult For us to take offense, which leads into a Whole bunch of other stuff. That's actually a next episode in this accountability, The series is to take offense or not to take offense Or not take offense. That is the question, Right? So let's see,Just say, cause I hear some of you saying, well, what if they, if they want to, if they weren't being negative, what if they weren't didn't have the best intent at heart? Here's what I say to that. Who cares? Who cares? Is it Something that's important enough to address? If it is then say something and ask questions and then from there, their responses you'll have to make a choice on whether or not you're satisfied with those answers or not. And just be aware that if you choose to believe it, and it's, they're saying no night, w we didn't mean anything by it. No, we, I didn't mean to offend you, whatever it is, whatever the answer is, if you can choose to believe that truth, and then your actions can be based off of that, or you can choose to believe that they were lying, or they were not telling the truth, or they were trying to be ugly. Just know that whatever it is, you choose to believe, whatever it is that you define that story as that will impact your next interaction and the next interaction and the next interaction, your thought life around what happens in every single interaction will define how you behave in the next or how you perceive in the next Interaction. So let's say, So back to that, let's say that, you know, you let's say that you really, in your heart feel like somebody doing something with mal-intent doing something that they weren't in there. They weren't a SU you know, we're, we're not going to assume a positive intent because we know that they weren't, here's my challenge to you. Even if that's the case, unless we're talking about they're hurting someone or it's unsafe, then you say something, then you address it, then you advocate, okay, you do those things. But if it's something that you can just in your mind, in your thoughts, say, I'm assuming that he didn't mean it that way. I'm assuming that she didn't mean it that way. That's still impacts the way that you can love on that person next time, or receive that person next time. I'm going to give you an example. I do this all the time, all the time with my children and my husband, those that we're closest to, we know that unconditional love is there. So sometimes our behaviors and actions are a little bit more laxed, not so polished. Okay. Sometimes we lash out at the people that we love most because we know that they're going to be there. Okay. Not saying that it's right. Or am I the only one? Do I see anybody else of my girls raising their hand that they do this too? Because I do this too. But what I try to do is when an interaction has occurred, that did not go well, I, in my mind will say, well, he just doesn't have the skill set that he needs to communicate in that way, in the way that I would have received that. Well, now that may or may not be true. But if that helps me be a little bit more forgiving or give him a little bit more grace, then that's what I'm going to tell myself, because I still have to respond in a way that's loving. That's forgiving. That's graceful. Okay. I still have to, except those times where I maybe didn't assume positive intent. And so I reacted to something that he didn't intend on the flip side. How many of you guys have ever been in an interaction where somebody became offended with something you did or said, and that was not at all what you intended to do. I mean, I, as a leader and forever saying to people, I did not intend to make you feel that way. If I ever make you feel a certain way, that's not good. I want you to tell me because I promise you, I never, in any interaction intend to make you feel bad or guilty or shameful or less than that's never my heart's intent. So a step beyond assuming positive intent is to explain or preface yourself with people to let them know. Listen, I would never intend to make you feel any of those things, because that's not what my heart is for you or for people, for anyone. I would never want anyone to think. I would intentionally hurt them with my words or actions. Now, do I hurt people with my words and action? Yeah, we all do. But imagine if we all walked around here, assuming positive intent with everyone that we came in contact with, if we were all walking around, assuming positive intent of others, then, and we defined our interactions. That way we created the stories in our head to be in alignment with, Oh, he's just doing the best he can with what he's got. She's just doing the best she can with everything she's got going on. She didn't intend that for me in that way. She didn't mean for me to feel that way. Isn't it true that we could just choose to believe that and move on instead of choosing to take offense. So I challenge you today to think about the last poor interaction you had with someone and think about what your thoughts were in that situation and what you could do to change those thoughts in your head, so that it made you feel a different way and maybe act or respond in a different way. That's my challenge to you. And today, when you're having your interactions with your husband, your friends, your coworkers, your boss, I want you to think about if you have that spirit of offense or that, that thought life that starts to get into that negative space, where it starts to direct your feelings towards someone or something. And then you think about actions or words you could take that may or may not create that positive interactions. I challenge you to stop and think about this and twisted around to think about assuming positive intent for that person and what that person intended was to be a positive outcome. And what would you do if that was the case? All right, ladies, that's it on assuming positive and attend. The next episode in this series will be about offense. This one is going to be a hard one, but it's relative to what we need to be thinking about in order to become our best serve self, to serve others in a way that we're intended to serve. And it always starts with us again, that accountability too, if I did, or felt or thought something different, would that change the nature of this relationship and most of the time it's yes. Okay. One clarification ladies, I am not talking about situations in which you know, all of the facts where someone is hurting someone else, making an unsafe situation for someone bullying, abusing, taking advantage of if you are. I'm talking about situations in this episode about conversations, interactions that we don't have. All the details to that we are using assumption to create. They get we're playing mad libs with our assumptions. You know what that game mad libs, where you had to fill in a noun here, a verb here, an adjective here, you remember that game where at the end of the story, you could have had a million different stories because you're adding in different words without having all of the facts, you don't have the story in front of you, right? You're just giving nouns for adjectives, pronouns, whatever. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about situations in which you don't have all the facts and you're making assumptions to fill in the gaps of the story, which then creates that thoughts life that then creates your feelings and your actions and your words in response to those things. Okay? If someone is in a harmful situation, then you do what you do. You advocate you step in, you intervene. You say something, but this is for situations where you are already making assumptions about the situation. So what I'm challenging you to do is make assumptions that they are doing the best they can under the circumstances that they're in assume positive intent in those situations where you don't have all the facts. Okay. Makes sense. Good. Okay. Next episode is going to be about to take offense or not take offense. That is the question we're going to deal with. We're also going to deal with another episode in this series on forgiveness. And then finally we are going to deal with gossip. Now, I don't know if there'll be in that order, but I think it's important because all of this stuff of being accountable, assuming positive intent, gossip, taking offense and forgiveness, all those things are things that really hold us back as powerful women. And I'm not about that anymore. I'm not about to be held back because I'm standing in my own way, SIS. And I don't want you to do that either. So I will see you on the inside. So come ready, come open, come willing, and let's do it. Hey! before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and give me a review. And you know, I love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women, just like us. You're five stars and written review really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back, leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some left. Thanks so much. And I'll see you in the next episode. And remember your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come right back. Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: Wholly Made Life Short Assessment (jotform.com) Resources: Connect with Angie on FB: https://www.facebook.com/angie.toninirogers Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/467886717505868 Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! http://ppu.atrogers.com

EP 7 Accountability Series Part One Hey, what's up. It's Angie. And I'm back to talk with you about another episode. Today's episode is going to be on accountability and it's probably not exactly what you think. So grab your cup of coffee or ice water or whatever it is you got going on, and let's dive in and see what it's all about.   Hey, what's up everybody. It's your girl, Angie and I am back today to talk about a series that I am going to be dropping. That's called the accountability series. Now, girlfriend, I want to remind you that in my intro and in episode one, where I gave you my introduction, we talked about how we're going to have to talk about some hard things. Well, it may feel like some of these topics are going to be one of those or a few of those hard things, but in order to become who that is or supposed to be, we got to deal with the hard thing sometimes. And the best way to become who it is you're intended to be is to work on more awareness and more things on yourself so that you can be better for the people around you. So part of that mindset that we're going to talk about is related to accountability. So, first I want to start off this series. One of, uh, accountability. I want to talk about the definition of accountability and this comes from dictionary and it says it's taking or being assigned responsibility for something you have done or something you are supposed to do. Okay. So it's about taking that responsibility   So when you think about someone who is accountable, you might think about someone who takes responsibility, who doesn't make excuses for themselves. They show up and they show up on time. They collaborate with others. They expect the same work ethic from others. They expect results from others. So when I first think about accountability, when I asked this actually in a training one time with a group of leaders, a lot of the answers were about others. So, you know, w when I asked, what does accountability mean to you? They said things like, well, it's when you hold people accountable to do what it is you've asked them to do, or when we meet the outcomes that we have set out to meet, or when we hold somebody accountable to whether or not they are following the attendance time and attendance policy. Okay. And then one very Intune, smart, young lady said being accountable is being true to what it is I've said I'm going to do. I'm accountable to my words and my actions. I show up, when I say, I'm going to show up, I follow up, When I say I'm going to follow up. So she saw the word accountability first in herself, versus holding other people accountable. So that's the first thing we're going to talk about is that when you think of accountability, first, you've got to start with you being accountable for who it is that you say you are, who it is, what it is you say you're going to do. So we look inward first, and then we think about, external. So always start with yourself. So I'm going to talk about something called the accountability ladder. And I'm not sure where this came from; I've learned about this in all of my places of work in the past 20 years, but maybe Senn Delaney Consulting group made this up? I've seen an article in Forbes magazine about it, well, it's everywhere, but you can find this topic and strategy all over the internet, so I'm not sure who actually first claims this idea- but just wanted to throw out a few people who may have, and give them credit.  So think about a ladder or think about a mountain and that you're climbing on one side and you start at the bottom and go to the top, or think about an elevator where you start at the bottom and you go to the top. Okay. So we're going to start at the bottom. So if we're on this ladder and the bottom rung of the ladder is that you are in denial, Or that you do not have an awareness. Then that is the bottom of the ladder or the bottom of the mountain or the bottom of the elevator.  The next level is going to be where you are blaming other people. The next is that when you are making excuses for what has happened or the outcomes, or why something didn't go as planned, the next level, which is more towards the middle level, we'll think about is the wait and hope level. It's where you are not really blaming or making excuses anymore, but you're not really doing anything about it to make it better. The next level up from weighting hope is going to be that you are in your acknowledging. You are acknowledging the reality of what the outcome was or acknowledging the reality of who you're looking at in the mirror. And you're you have stepped into, okay. I acknowledge where I am with this right now. I acknowledge my outcome. I acknowledge, um, the expectation. So you're acknowledging what's happening then above. That is where you own it. Okay? Uh, you actually own, not only are you acknowledging the reality, but you're owning the outcomes from what it is you have done, or Zed, or the project that you taken on, you're owning the outcomes. Then you're at the next step. You are finding solutions. So you've owned it. And now you are going to do something about it, to find a solution, to get to a place that's better than you are tonight, today. And then the top round, the top of the mountain, the top level in the elevator, or the top level of that ladder is when you get on with it, you've done something about it. You've found solutions. And now you're just getting out on with it. So when you think about these, these rungs of this ladder, or these levels on the elevator, you think about the bottom half where you were unaware in denial, then you were blaming others and excuses. You are not able to make any changes there when you were unaware. You don't even know there's a problem to begin with. Okay? When you're in denial, you're denying that there's a problem and denying your responsibility in it. And then when you're making excuses and blaming others, that puts the onus or the responsibility on other people, and it doesn't allow for you to be part of any solution or make any changes. Okay? So that those bottom realms, the unawareness or denial, the blaming others, and the excuses are all in that powerless or, or where nothing changes when you get to the middle wrong that wait and hope. That's not doing anything to harm the situation, but it's certainly not doing anything to make it better. So you're just waiting and hoping that somebody else does something you're waiting and hoping that it gets better without any action. Okay. You're just waiting. You're just hoping that something, but you're not taking any responsibility to do anything at that point. You're not really taking any action. So then let's talk about where we get into the place where we make things happen. We are powerful at our actions and our words become powerful in changing the situation. This is that acknowledging reality. You're owning it. You're finding solutions and you're getting on with it. You're making it happen. Okay. So when you are in on that top part of that ladder, or in that top level of that elevator, you are, when you start to acknowledge reality and own it, you become responsible for those results. And therefore you do and say things differently to get a different result. When you're finding solutions, you're actively doing what needs to be done, to find the solution to the problem, to create, or make a change. You are creating something at that point. And then when you're getting on with it, okay, you had a bad outcome. Here's the solution. Let's get at it again. Okay. You're at the top of that level. So that's the accountability level. Now, why is that important? Number one, because it's biblically sound that we are created to be accountable. I want to give you a couple of references that talk about why we need to each individually be accountable. And once we're there, we can then move into group accountability or looking to hold other people accountable, or maybe it's simultaneous, but you first have to recognize your own need to be accountable before you can hold someone else accountable. Matthew 7:3-5 says this. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye, or how can you say to your brother, let me take that speck out of your eye. When there's a log in your own eye, you hypocrite first, take the log out of your own eye. And then you will see clearly enough to take the speck out of your brother's eye. So owning your own specs, owning your own, um, places that you need to create, change that you need to acknowledge that reality. And you need to start finding solutions and then getting on with it, taking that action, creating that change, owning that first, then allows you to have the ability to help others do the same.  Here's another scripture I tell this is Matthew 12: 36-37. I tell you on the day of judgment, people will give an account for every careless word they speak for, by your own words, you will be justified. And by your own words, you will be condemned, which just reminds us that we're accountable for what we do and what we say. Our words are important. I talked about that in the bonus episode related to sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That's a lie words will hurt you where we are accountable for what we do and say there's power of life and death in our tongue. That means that our words are important. And then finally this moves into how accountability stretches beyond us Ecclesiastes four, nine through 12 two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone two, well, withstand him a threefold cord is not quickly broken. So then that talks about how we are in community with each other. And so in order for us to be impactful in order for us to make a difference, we individually have to be accountable. And then we together have to hold each other accountable and together as a community be accountable. So that's my message on the word accountable today and having accountability. So I told Joe's going to be a little bit hard to hear, but as I'm reminded of a train on a train track, all of us need feedback in order to get to our destination, to get, to become who we are. And by the way, the word of God in the Bible is great feedback for us. So anytime that we need feedback, we should open up that book. James is a great book, uh, that is very convicting and sometimes piercing, but it holds us accountable to who we are and who we are, who we are becoming the, Oh, here's where I was going with this. So feedback, it reminds me of a train on a track. The track is there to help give the train feedback in order for the train to get to the destination. The train can not make it to the destination without the track there, the track, when it, every time it bumps that track, the track gives it feedback to say, Whoa, too far to the left. Whoa, too far to the left, get back on track, get back straight, right? And then the train gets to the destination with the track leading the way, think about when these things are hard for us to hear, think about it as feedback. You know what I love you enough to give you the feedback. I love myself enough to hear and receive feedback. That's hard to hear. So then I can reflect upon it and prey upon it and make changes where changes are due so that I can be a better person today than I was yesterday, so that I can be better for my kids, better for my spouse, better at church, better at work. The only way that we really can control our outcomes or the only way that we can really impact our outcomes, the most is to be open to the feedback that has to do with ourselves. Search our own hearts, search our own minds, reflect on our own words and actions that we have in each situation, really be open to making the changes we need to make to be a better. You be a better mama, be a better wife, be a better leader at work. Okay. We can spend a lot of time on trying to correct or hold others accountable. But if we are not accountable first to ourselves, to who we are to the values, the morals, the ethics, the rules, okay. The rules that we've placed for other people, if we're not accountable to those things first, then we're just really running our wheels, trying to keep other people accountable. We have to be accountable first before we can hold anybody else accountable. What I want you to do is just think about where are you in any given situation on that accountability ladder. Think about if you're on the bottom edges of that ladder, or if you're at the top, if you're in that getting on with it, finding solutions, then you're probably in a great place. If you are down below where you are, either unaware or in denial or blaming others or making excuses, then you might want to look inward a little bit and see what you can do to get yourself higher on that ladder, because you want to at least be in the weight and hope wrong, right? You want to at least be standing on the wait and hope because at least then you're not doing anything to make anything worse, but you're not doing anything to make it better. Now I would challenge you to step up on that next rung, which is acknowledge the reality. Start to own it, find solutions and then get on with it. Okay. I would challenge you to be above that. Wait and hope. Okay. All right, sister. So next step in this series is going to be about assumptions and you know what they say about the word assume? Do I have to say it all right? I think you know what it is. All right. We're going to talk about assumptions and we're going to talk about offense. Okay. Taking offense. All right, ladies. So let's just pray us out on that. God, I want to thank you today for opening our eyes, to see open our ears, to hear all those things that you need for us to strengthen our spirit, to strengthen our person for all of those people that you've put into our life. God, let us see in our hearts where it is. We need to change reveal those things to us so that we can pray on it, reflect upon it and start to make those small changes, to be more accountable to who it is you're calling us to be. I thank you God, for the Holy spirit to take over when we are looking at ourselves so that we can see more of you and less of ourselves just reveal all of those places, God, in our heart that we need to take more action to be more like you in Jesus' Holy name. Amen. Hey, before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and give me a review. And you know, I'd love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women, just like us. You're five stars and written review really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back, leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some luck. Thanks so much. And I'll see him the next episode. And remember your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come right back.   Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: Wholly Made Life Short Assessment (jotform.com) Resources: Connect with Angie on FB: https://www.facebook.com/angie.toninirogers Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/467886717505868 Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! http://ppu.atrogers.com

Interview with Dr. Candice Johnson with VisionSpeak Consulting. How to Get your Joy back, and keep it! Let's walk into 2021 Victoriously!

Interview with Special guest, Gena Bohl with Stunningly Strong

EP 4- Never Underestimate the Power of your Words and Smile In this episode of Wholly Made life, Angie shares a story from a while back and tells that we all need a little support and encouragement and how giving a smile, hug to people and letting them know that they’re important can change someone’s day. Listen to her, telling two heartwarming stories which will make your day. Tune in now! Highlights: [01:23] The story begins… [01:28] There was a girl at a grocery store [01:40] People are being rude and nasty to her [01:50] I want to just let you know… [02:00] I’m worried [02:16] I’m going to call her [02:29] She felt supported [03:18] One more story [03:20] One lady goes to church [03:30] I love this church because… [03:54] A powerful way to impact   Useful links: Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: https://form.jotform.com/203545066762053 Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: atoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: angietoninirogers_facebook Connect with Angie in her Facebook Community: facebook_group Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! ppu.atrogers.com   If you enjoyed this episode of the Wholly Made Life Podcast, then make sure to subscribe to the podcast, and don't forget to give Angie a review. You can also take a screenshot of the episode and tag Angie in your Insta and Facebook stories.  

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. LIES. All Lies. Words are Important, powerful, and world changing. One Word for the New Year.

BONUS EPISODE! Ladies! We are SO ready to enter 2021, are we not?! Today, I share a chat I had with my friend a few days ago, Gigi Simmons, about how we can REST our way into the next season, with intention and honey, we're gonna do it victoriously, OK?!  This season has been a difficult one. 2020 has been a year that has brought about division, strife, difficulty, lies, and illness. However, it has also brought revelation, the need to practice discernment, love, peace, and it has allowed for a certain kind of rest. Gigi will talk about how she has been able to find that rest in such a tremulous season. Contact Gigi here: https://www.instagram.com/sameolegigi/ Learn why resting our way into the next year is going to be the best way to enter our new season!  Useful links: Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: Wholly Made Life Short Assessment Have a question or comment? Email me here: angietoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: https://www.facebook.com/angie.toninirogerstoninirogers_facebook If you enjoyed this episode of the Wholly Made Life Podcast, then make sure to subscribe to the podcast, and don't forget to leave me a review. This is the BEST way you can show your support & love for me! You can also take a screenshot of the episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories, and I'll be sure to give you a shout out.   

EP 3- You’re Being Buried In this episode of Wholly Made life, Angie encourages by telling the story of a seed. She describes how, in order to achieve the purpose in our life, we might experience struggle and understand there is testimony in the test. Listen to her, narrating the story of a seed with a wonderful message. Tune in now! Highlights: [01:24] The story begins... [01:32] Seed that sits in a package on the top of your desk [01:44] There's nothing. [01:57] It has to go into the dirt [02:18] It's dark. It's cold. It's lonely. [02:27] In order to grow... [03:32] Each seed has its own destination [03:51] All of us are going to experience that [04:38] Dark place is destined to help   Useful links: Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: https://form.jotform.com/203545066762053com Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: angietoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: https://www.facebook.com/angie.toninirogers If you enjoyed this episode of the Wholly Made Life Podcast, then make sure to subscribe to the podcast, and don't forget to give Angie a review. You can also take a screenshot of the episode and tag Angie in your Insta and Facebook stories.   Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! ppu.atrogers.com