Wholly Made Life™- ReClaim your Whole Life, Tap into God-Sized Fulfillment for the Success Driven Woman, Mama, Wife, Sister

EP 2: Recovering from Perfectionism In this episode of Wholly Made Life, Angie talks about Recovering from perfectionism! Angie talks about some logical reasons why one shouldn't be a perfectionist by sharing her life experiences. Listen to her, divulging the experiences of being a perfectionist, what good or bad it can do, and her journey of unbecoming perfectionism. What to listen for? Perfectionism! Is it a damaging or a helpful trait? Can you even attain perfection? Can you please everyone, get everyone's approval? What you actually sacrifice looking for people's approval? How perfectionism leads to a lack of trust. How seeking perfectionism can actually stifle you and keep you stuck, not doing the things that you were designed to do. How should you start to combat perfectionism.   Useful links: Take the quick "Wholly Made Life Assessment" here: https://form.jotform.com/203545066762053com Have a question or comment? Email Angie here: atoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with Angie on FB: https://www.facebook.com/angie.toninirogers If you enjoyed this episode of the Wholly Made Life Podcast, then make sure to subscribe to the podcast, and don't forget to give Angie a review. You can also take a screenshot of the episode and tag Angie in your Insta and Facebook stories. Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! ppu.atrogers.com

Hi friends, welcome to Wholly made life. I am Angie Tonini Rogers and you're probably wondering what this episode is going to be all about. Well, let's talk about it. This is episode one. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself. I'm 44 years old. I've been with my husband for 23 years and we have three boys. Yup. I am a boy mom for life. My boys are 18, 14 and 11. My oldest son just started college in Arizona. Y'all that's 26 hours away from home. Y'all pray for me. It has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do to let him go so far away, but he is loving it and he is safe; he is covered and protected. So we live in Louisville, Kentucky, and I've lived here all my life, except for two years when I went to Dayton, Ohio for my first two years in college. I was 17 when I started college and my mom always called me an old soul. So I guess I was pretty mature for my age. I guess I'd have to be considering... Y'all when I was 15 years old, I managed a department at an amusement park and I was the one they called out to talk to angry customers. I mean, I was 15 and I'm out there talking to customers about all the things that they're mad about and trying to resolve the issues... Anyway. So I was an oldest of three. I have a younger sister and brother, and yeah, you think about oldest siblings and everything that comes with being that first born. That's all me, my parents divorced when I was a young teen and I went back and forth from my mom's house and my dad's house. We were at my dad's on Mondays and Wednesdays and my mom's on Tuesdays and Thursdays, both parents work. So I wasn't home with my siblings and we were home a lot on our own. So I felt like being the oldest sibling that I was the one in control. So, yep. I'm a little bit type A, a little bit opinionated and probably a lot bossy to my siblings. I am definitely a control freak. I always strive for excellence, but that has turned out to be more of a Monster of perfectionism. I never really felt like I was good enough very early on. I felt like I needed to perform and show outward accomplishments to make me feel like I was worthy. I was looking for that external validation, which I hoped would eventually breed that inward confidence, but it took me years and years to really find that confidence. So when I was young, I found out I was pretty good in school. I always strived for straight A's and I got them most of the time, but it was pretty much to the point where I really beat myself up. When I got even a high B, I just felt like I failed. And when I would not get a straight a, even now in my doctorate program, all right, let me hold up. Because that, in of itself, is one of those things that I ended up doing for that outward external validation. So I have a bachelor's in psychology. I have a bachelor's in nursing and a master's in nursing, and now I'm in my doctorate program. And I don't say that to brag at all. I just say it as an example of how prominent this need to find these external accomplishments to prove my worth is in my life. I'm in my doctorate program now. And I even now struggle with not getting an a, I currently have a 4.0, I only have one class left as well as my practicum project. And it makes me anxious to think about not getting an a in class so much so that my last class, I was one point away from an a, so I emailed my professors to ask them, is there any, any assignment that you can look at that I deserve one more point so that I can get an a! Y'all that is hard core that's hardcore. Yeah. Ingrained and embedded stuff that I have walked through my entire life! The need at 44 years old to feel like I need to graduate with a 4.0, I mean, what really? What does it matter if I get a 4.0 or 3.9, that just goes to show you that I'm still walking this thing out. So another thing that I currently walk out is that when I was young food became my friend. I used it for emotional satisfaction and I used it for control. It took its toll on my body and my psyche for years, I actually had an eating disorder. I would eat a tiny pack of pretzels and a bag of Skittles once a week, hated the way I looked. I hated the way people looked at me. I didn't want people looking at me. I was so stuck on what other people thought about me. It's something I work on even now. And so what I have found is that I take small steps every single day to make healthier choices, to make those choices that make me feel good about myself. The idea of having to chase after these accomplishments, that validate me externally. It plays out for much of my life and it's something I continue to work on every single day. So even now y'all, I am unbecoming perfectionism. I'm on this journey of unbecoming, all the things that aren't me, so that I can become who I'm intended to be. I'm practicing, loving myself and reminding myself every day, what God says about me. So I can walk through life knowing that I'm enough with Him on my side. In this podcast, here's what we're not going to talk about. We're not going to talk about or get perfection. We are not going to talk about some made up life. That's all peaches and cream, rainbows and unicorns. Nope. You're going to get real raw, messy life because y'all, that's what life is. It's real. It's real messy life. And I have, decided that imperfect action is better than no action at all. This is something I continue to practice. I'm learning to catch myself every time I start to feel the need to criticize myself and pick at myself, when things are not going perfectly versus just doing it well and sometimes messy, striving for excellence so that I can get great. A lot of the time, sometimes y'all my kids eat cookies for breakfast. Okay. I mean, I'm still a good mom. It's all. Okay. Things do not have to be perfect because sometimes you gotta just do it. Messy. Life is messy. Now of course, first we want to present to the world what we want other people to see, you know, on social media, you see it all the time, but we have to remember that you only see what people choose to present to you. So all of these things that we do to ourselves to compare ourselves to him or her that, or this it's a lie because everything that we're seeing on social media and everything around us is just what they choose to present. So yeah, I be sure that what I put out in the world is going to be positive and helpful. It's going to help raise women up. People being praised up my versus bringing them down. So you're never going to hear me put things in this space related to gossip or tearing people or organizations down. You are never going to hear me talk about politics. You are never going to hear me talk about anything That's going to be intentionally used to divide and conquer the unity that I want to cultivate with my sisters. I believe in loving people, I believe in loving people where they are and who they are. But also I love you enough to challenge you to grow so loving you enough where you are, but challenging you to not stay where you are. We are called to grow. We are called to become who it is we're intended to be. So think about it, who has God called you to be? Are you living that out in every area of your life? Are you balancing all areas of your life? Well, are you able to recenter anytime you need to, where other pieces are not going to fall or not going to suffer. That's what this podcast is going to be about. We're going to walk this out together. We're on this journey together. We are going to focus on the, on pieces of the pie that make up your whole life. So here are the pieces: Physical. This includes health and wellness. It includes your mental and emotional health. Second piece is personal. This is your self-care, your self-development and your mindset. Third piece is financial. Are you where you need to be for today, tomorrow? And for your future, are you creating that legacy? Are you satisfied with what you're making? Are you able to tithe, are you getting overflow so that you can give what you want to give when you want to give? All right, the next piece is spiritual. Are you connected? Are you in relationship with God every day? Are you able to notice those little God winks that people talk about? Those things that confirm what it is you're feeling? Are you listening to the Holy spirit directives that God's been trying to tell you or show you ? Are your eyes open enough to see God in your everyday life? Are your eyes and ears open up to see and hear everything that's happening around you That tells you who it is you are and what it is you're supposed to be doing? Another piece of the pie is relationships. This is your marriage, your motherhood, and your friendships, your social life. And then finally professional. Your professional piece of the pie. This is your job, your career, your business, maybe it's your passions and what you're doing. Do you feel fulfilled in all of these areas? Are there places that you feel like you want more out of our pieces of the pie ? Unequal, or if you think about the pieces of a pie as a wheel and you fill up the pieces of those pie, when that wheel turns, is it uneven? It's like a tire that is flat in some areas and good in some other areas that makes for a less well-oiled machine when you are trying to go, go go, or when you are trying to slow down. So just think about all of these areas. So for me right now, I mean, it was just four weeks ago that I actually resigned my position as chief nursing officer. So this is something that I had been working for four years and I had finally achieved it. I thought that I was on the path to go to from chief nursing officer to chief operations officer, to CEO. But then I started to feel this very strong nudge that this wasn't the path for right now. I don't know what the future holds, but for right now that wasn't the path that I was supposed to be on. So I gave up everything I thought I had been working for for my entire life, the title, the position, the salary, the salary. And I did not know what was coming next. So y'all, I, like I said, I'm a type a, I'm a control freak. I had never, ever taken a step in one of my jobs or career moves that there wasn't a next step up like a promotion. I've never done that before. I certainly have never quit a job without knowing what the next job was going to be. But I did it because I felt God was calling me to take a step of obedience and give him my title, my salary, basically all those things that are validating, from the external world, give all those things up as an offering to him, a sacrificial offering. Now I'm walking that journey out. As we speak...talk about bold courageous action. We are strong enough to take bold courageous action in our lives. We can have blind faith. Yall this was the scariest thing that I've ever had to do. This was something I wrestled with God with for months. I mean, I had all out adult grown tantrums. I was giving it to him like a two year old who didn't get a Snickers in the candy store. I was full out crying, yelling, screaming, arguing, kicking... All the things because I did not want to do that. I didn't want to give all that up. I loved what I was doing. I love it. Being chief nurse. I really loved working with my team, but I knew that what he was asking me to do was to give it to him so that he could show me what's next. So here I am walking this journey out to live my whole life Holy made so that God can give me his God size, fulfilled life he has for me, and friend, you can do the same thing. Now. I don't think that you need to go out and resign your job. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying we together can look at your whole life and we can figure out what's out of balance. What's out of whack. What needs to be re-centered. We know that He works all things out for our good, and he wants us to rise up and become the woman He's called us to be in all areas of our lives and not just for ourselves, but for everyone waiting on us to become the woman that he's called us to be; becoming that great woman of God He's called you to be, to share your gifts with your circle. He wants us to live restored in His joy, in His peace. He wants us to have hope in all areas of our life. He wants us to be healed in all areas of our life. So I have been called to walk this out with you because nothing happens solo. We're called to be in community and together. We're going to learn how to balance all the pieces of our pie so that we can live our whole lives. Holy made. So sister, welcome to your whole life. I'm so excited to live this life together. Now, sister, before you go, please make sure you check the show notes because I have left a link where you can go and take an assessment to look at the balance that you are currently living within each area of your life so that you can see it on paper, What needs to change. All right, I'll see you on the next episode. Hey, before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and give me a review. And you know, I'd love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women, just like us. You're five stars and written review really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back. Leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some love. Thanks so much. And I'll see you the next episode. And remember your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come, right back! Feel free to email me! angietoninirogers@gmail.com Connect with me on FB: https://www.facebook.com/angie.toninirogers    

Trailer! Welcome to Wholly made life where I believe that you are not created to do just one thing in your life well. You are not just your job, your title or your salary. You're not just a mom or sister. You are fearfully and wonderfully made to lead in all areas of your whole life. Your life is like a pie that's made up of different pieces that create a complete circle and girl, you deserve to enjoy the whole pie. Hi, I'm Angie Tonini-Rogers and, mama, I know you are really good at what you do in your profession or business, but if you're ready to stop ignoring different pieces of your pie and reclaim your whole life, then you are in the right place. Girl, let's tap into your whole life God has for you and experience that God-size fulfilled life together. We're going to walk through some boundaries, leadership, mindset, and restoration in different areas of your life that may need to change. Discover hope, healing, & live out your mission, your purpose! It's going to be some tough work up in here, girl, but we're gonna walk this thing out together, uncovering some bold courageous actions that we can take to experience, not just a good life, but your whole life. Are you ready to live your whole life, Holy made. Let's do it! Connect with me: angietoninirogers@gmail.com Join my community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/467886717505868