Marriage Helper Live

Dr. Joe Beam has said many times that if your spouse is leaving you for another person that s/he "madly loves" it may be to your benefit to slow the divorce down.Why?Because those states of being "madly in love" (also known as limerence) have a shelf-life. That euphoria doesn't last a lifetime. By slowing down the divorce you may be able to rescue your marriage because the limerence wears off before the divorce is final.Now Dr. Beam is modifying that statement. He still believes that limerence will erode and that there can be value in slowing the divorce. However, in an effort to slow the divorce, some have done things that provoke their abandoning spouses in ways that aren't beneficial.Yes, Dr. Beam strongly believes that in a divorce you should get an attorney and fight for everything that you need, even if that thwarts your spouse's plans. If your spouse becomes angry, say something such as "I'm not the one wanting this divorce. I'm happy to work on the marriage if you are. In the meantime, I will follow my attorney's advice and take care of myself and my children. I'm sorry if that upsets you or doesn't give you everything you want, but I must do what I must do if you continue with the divorce."There is value in your spouse having to face the consequences of his behavior.However, being unreasonable, mean, or vindictive works against you rather than for you. It antagonizes your spouse without any correlating benefit to your mate or you.So where is the balance?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau talk about protecting yourself during a divorce while not being unfair or unreasonable in ways that only bring about negative consequences.We are www.MarriageHelper.com are for marriages. Our success rate in helping crisis marriages solve their problems and save the marriage is three out of four. For our free resources ranging from articles, eBooks, and podcasts, see our website. If you wish to know more about our marriage coaching, call 615-472-1161.

Who To Listen To When Your Marriage Is In Trouble - The Dr. Joe ShowThe moment people hear that your marriage is in trouble, you get deluged with every sort of opinion, recommendation, and idea that people can come up with.Most of it is bad.Some of it is motivated by good intentions. However, if the ones who give the advice love you, they most likely aren't very happy with your spouse. Therefore, their viewpoint is skewed against him/her and very much toward protecting you (and maybe toward damaging your spouse). Others who aren't so close think their advice valid because of something they personally experienced or that they witnessed in another. That's enough for them to make judgments about you, your spouse, and your situation even when they know only a little of what's actually happening. These folks typically are adamant that you heed their counsel, although in reality their advice often is the OPPOSITE of what you should be doing. If you doubt that, post a problem on Facebook telling only the barest of information and watch how many people will tell you EXACTLY what you should do...It's scary...Even professional counselors may lead you astray IF:1) Your situation strikes one of their own emotional chords2) They decide to diagnose your spouse even though they've never met him/her (or had only limited exposure)3) They feel the easiest route to your "happiness" is to end the marriage rather than to fight for itSo, who do you listen to?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau discuss an actual occurrence on Facebook. Using it as the example, they explain why people tend to think their advice is valid and why you should be very careful about which advice you take. They guide you to sources that truly can help rather than leading you astray.If you're not looking only for people to verify what you WANT to do, but actually seeking help for your marriage problems, listen to this program.Also, check out free resources ranging from articles, eBooks, Podcasts, and more on www.MarriageHelper.com.

Your spouse strayed. Maybe it was another person. Maybe you threw him/her out because of their behavior. Whatever the cause, you're now trying to make it work again.But...You expect total honesty. You demand that s/he talk about the problem. You want to be understood and you want to understand why s/he did the things s/he did. You thought that reconciling would automatically bring about deep conversations, transparency, accountability, and finally a marriage better than it was before.Are those reasonable expectations? Yes.No.You see, it's all about timing. In this program Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau discuss that when a couple think they are in reconciliation, many times they are actually in a step before that. No wonder they get frustrated; they're expectations don't match their reality.If you and your spouse are wanting to reconcile - even thinking that you are reconciling - this program will give you insight into what to expect, what NOT to expect, what is okay to demand and which demands may be a deal breaker IF they are made too early.If you wish more information about marriage that you can use, check out the free resources on www.MarriageHelper.com. If you wish to know more about the personal coaching that Dr. Beam and Jim discuss, call 615-472-1161.

Do those who fight for marriages ever think that a couple should divorce?Yes.At www.MarriageHelper.com we fight for marriages. Since 1999 we've been able to help three out of four married couples in crisis resolve their seemingly insurmountable problems and save their marriages. It's known around the world that we do all we can to help marriages survive.Unfortunately, we know that not all marriages will.So when should one give up? Find the attorney and file for divorce? Is it when your marriage counselor says you should? Our experience says no. Good marriage counselors are worth their weight in gold. Others...well, let's just say sometimes it appears that some take the easy route and suggest divorce when there are still viable options for saving the marriage and making it good again.In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau discuss how to know when it's time to call it quits. Both are experienced marriage helpers with a great deal of experience working with couples in crisis. Although they find tremendous fulfillment in helping couples who have no hope find hope, they each realize that sometimes a marriage will end.To learn the principles about when to end a marriage - if ever - listen to this program. Additionally, there are many free resources - articles, eBooks, podcasts, and more - for your marriage on www.MarriageHelper.com.

He had an affair that nearly ended the marriage. He told her he was sorry. He said he wanted them to try to work things out, but he's not quite ready to reconcile.Then he was offered a job in another city. It's lucrative and he accepted. He comes home every weekend to live with his wife and children. They have a great time. He's attentive. The kids love his being there. But then the weekend is over and he heads back.Workable? Maybe. However, there's a catch. During the week, he doesn't call, doesn't take calls, and has no contact whatsoever with his wife or children. They have great weekends. She wonders and worries about what he's doing during the week. It's driving her mad. Is he having another affair? Does he live with some woman over there? What is he doing that prevents him from calling, checking in...or being checked on?She offered an ultimatum of sorts. "I'll be gone when you come on the weekends. You and the kids have a great time but I can't live with not knowing." He told her that if she did that, he would feel pushed away and would give up on the idea of reconciliation.Is he manipulating her? Is there something else going on? What should she do? When should she do it?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam plays the recording of her question and then answers in detail. He suggests the things she needs to consider. He explains how to approach her husband in the way most likely to get him to understand and to start communicating during the week. He helps her think about the consequences if he refuses.If you or someone you know is in a similar situation - in a sort of limbo where the spouse seems to want to save the marriage but also seems not to - this program will help you understand what to do and the possible outcome of various ways of doing it.If your marriage is in trouble, take advantage of the free resources on www.MarriageHelper.com. If you need to talk with someone, call 615-472-1161 and ask about Marriage Helper's Certified Marriage Coaches. If you would like to record a question for Dr. Beam to answer in a podcast, go to https://www.speakpipe.com/joebeam.

Her husband left her after thirty years of marriage. She feels lost. She wonders if her life is over. She doesn't know if she can ever be happy again.In the first podcast in this two-part series, Dr. Joe Beam brought in his special guest David Mathews, Director of SparkOfLife.Org. David is an expert in helping people deal with loss - any kind of loss, including the death of a loved one. The principles he provided in that podcast "Life Feels Hopeless After My Spouse Left" laid the foundation for this program. In this broadcast, David and Dr. Beam discuss practical, doable processes to help her - and you - deal with the loss and find healing for her life.That doesn't mean that she has to give up on her marriage. As Dr. Beam teaches in many podcasts, there is a process that can work to bring back the abandoning spouse and make the marriage good again. Even better than it was. Yet...it isn't a guarantee. It is an amazing process. If anything works, this will work. Three out of four couples who attend Marriage Helper's intensive three-day workshop salvage their marriages and develop them to be better than they were before.Three out of four. But that's not four out of four. The practical information you will hear in this podcast will help you find healing and grow on to a meaningful and fulfilling life whether your spouse comes back or not. It's not magic. It takes work. But the result is again having a life of happiness.If you haven't listened to part one "Life Feels Hopeless After My Spouse Left," we suggest you find that podcast and listen to it first. As you listen to this one, take notes, think through the power of the process you will learn, and then put it into action.If your marriage is in trouble, take advantage of the free resources on www.MarriageHelper.com. If you need to talk with someone, call 615-472-1161 and ask about Marriage Helper's Certified Marriage Coaches. If you would like to record a question for Dr. Beam to answer in a podcast, go to https://www.speakpipe.com/joebeam.

She met him when she was 16. They became childhood sweethearts through high school and married soon afterward. After thirty years of marriage, he left. Walked out stating that it was over and he wasn't coming back.She still loves him. Her heart is broken. She feels that her life as she has known it will never be again...that she'll never be happy...that she'll never get past the pain.Can she? Should she? Will she?In the program, Dr. Joe Beam interviews David Mathews, Director of SparkOfLife.Org. David is an expert on the pain of loss, the emotions one feels, and the path to healing.He and Dr. Beam discuss in detail why it is natural - and quite okay - for her to feel the pain she feels. However, the go beyond that. They provide an understanding of what she is going through. Then they explain the process she can choose to follow if she wants to heal her hurt and have a meaningful and fulfilled life.It isn't easy...pain never is...but it can be done and life can again have joy and happiness. Does that mean she gives up on trying to save her marriage? No. But it does mean there are processes she needs to embrace...processes to heal her hurt if he comes back...or if he doesn't come back.The principles David shares work for all types of loss, including the death of a loved one, but even to the pain of losing anything or anyone that is important to you.In the next podcast, David gives more information that is practical and doable. In this first installment, he lays the foundation that makes the healing possible.If your marriage is in trouble, take advantage of the free resources on www.MarriageHelper.com. If you need to talk with someone, call 615-472-1161 and ask about Marriage Helper's Certified Marriage Coaches. If you would like to record a question for Dr. Beam to answer in a podcast, go to https://www.speakpipe.com/joebeam.

You spouse is involved with someone else. You love your mate and want to save your marriage. You heard about the amazingly effective system taught by Marriage Helper that works powerfully in helping people save their marriages. You went to www.MarriageHelper.com and found the information. You paid close attention when Dr. Beam explained how to be a safe place for your straying spouse and you have tried to be that person in hopes of salvaging your marriage. You grasped that to allow your spouse to be open and transparent - even about his/her affair partner - can lead in time to the restoration of your marriage...But...You've discovered that being a safe p;lace isn't always easy. Allowing, even encouraging, your husband or wife to be open about the affair partner is painful to hear. As a matter of fact, you wonder if it might be doing more harm than good...especially for your own mental, emotional, and physical health. Should you stop? Is there another way?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam gives a brief overview of the section of the Marriage Helper system about being a safe place. He explains why "If anything will work, this system will." BUT, he also explains when it is time to stop being a safe place...to understand why sometimes you can't continue to be the safe place...and how NOT to feel guilty if you stop being the safe place for your spouse.If you prefer to know more about the system before listening, you can find a tremendous amount of information on www.MarriageHelper.com. You can also find Marriage Radio podcasts on www.MarriageRadio.com, on iTunes or Google Play by subscribing free to Marriage Radio, or on our online host Spreaker.com. On the Marraige Helper.com website, you'll also find articles, eBooks, and more podcasts.If you need personal help to understand what, when, or how to do things that can save your marriage, call 615-472-1161 and ask about Marriage Coaching with Marriage Helper's Certified Marriage Coaches.If you'd like to leave a voice message for Dr. Beam to answer on these podcasts, you may do so at www.speakpipe.com/joebeam.

He claimed that God told him to leave his marriage. Later he said that he felt guilt for leaving.He said "I love you but am not in love with you." Later he said, "I don't know how to live my life without you."Then, almost out of the blue, he says "I am in love with you" but he continues to live with the other woman.What do you do? Do you wait for him to evolve back to wanting to be with you over her? Do you go ahead and divorce him and get on with your life?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam, along with his special guest, relationship expert Jim Pourteau, answers the woman's question. You'll hear her describe the situation and ask what she should do. You'll hear the expert explanation of what is going on with her husband, You may be surprised when you hear the answer to her question about whether to divorce or to wait.For more free resources for your marriage go to www.MarriageHelper.com. You can also find more free podcasts by subscribing to Marriage Radio on iTunes or Google Play. You can find all of Dr. Beam's podcasts free on www.MarriageRadio.com.If you would like to speak to one of Dr. Beam's associates about your marriage, call 615-472-1161. Would you like to ask Dr. Beam a question about your marriage or relationship? You can record your question for Dr. Beam to reply in a future podcast at https://www.speakpipe.com/joebeam.

Your spouse wants out of the marriage. You don't. You love your husband/wife and can't understand why s/he no longer loves you. Is there hope?Yes. Unfortunately, most people in your situation do the wrong things...things that in reality make it less likely you can put the marriage back together. In a previous podcast, Dr. Joe Beam and his special guest Jim Pourteau explained three things NOT to do if you want to save your marriage. In this program, they explain three things that you MUST do if you wish to keep your marriage alive.These are not three magic steps that guarantee your marriage will survive. They are three crucial things to understand and put into practice that will help you save your marriage if anything will. The odds? Excellent. Workshops for marriages in crisis that Dr. Beam developed have a 75% success rate even if one spouse wants out of the marriage and has absolutely no desire for it to continue.Join Dr. Beam and his special guest, relationship expert Jim Pourteau, for this eye-opening program that will equip you with the knowledge you need as well as direct you to the right help if you need help to save your marriage. For more resources, go to www.MarriageHelper.com for free articles, eBooks, podcasts and more. You can also find over 100 podcasts by Dr Beam on iTunes and in Google Play. Subscribe free on those to Marriage RadioIf you wish to ask a question for Dr. Beam to answer in future podcasts, record your question at https://www.speakpipe.com/joebeam.

You just found out your spouse wants out of your marriage. You love your spouse. You don't want the marriage to end. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?!Before knowing the 3 things you should do, it's very important to understand 3 key things you should NOT do if you are to have any hope for salvaging your marriage.Unfortunately, most people do one or more of these three and put their marriage into greater jeopardy. It's extremely important to know what they are, understand why they cause more problems, and why you should not do them...or stop doing them. In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and his special guest, relationship expert Jim Pourteau, discuss three key things to avoid. They explain what they are, why people do them, and why they have greater negative effect than positive. If you love your spouse but s/he does or says any of the following:- wants out of your marriage- says s/he no longer loves you...or that s/he never did- is involved with someone else- claims s/he just wants to be alone- is cold and distant- seems like a different person- is harsh and angryThen you need to hear this program...AND the next podcast in the series "3 Things To Do If You Want to Save Your Marriage." (available beginning Sep 11, 2017)For more marriage and relationship resources, go to www.MarriageHelper.com or call 615-472-1161. To ask Dr. Beam a question to be answered in a future podcast, go to https://www.speakpipe.com/joebeam.

Want to truly communicate? Be Understood? Understand?If so, there is one thing you MUST STOP from occurring in your conversations that matter AND USE a simple yet powerful system that will make it so much easier to understand and be understood. In this program Dr. Joe Beam explains why writing (especially texting and emails) don't work when you need to talk about things that matter. He also explains why phone calls usually don't work well either. Then how do you communicate?Dr. Beam shares his simple, yet powerful, "Triple A Engine" that turns frustrating conversations into unique interactions that meld two people together. He explains it and illustrates it so you can use it when discussing everything from money...hurt emotions...and even sexual disagreements when one partner wants something the other doesn't want to do.This same "Triple A Engine" works with your friends, children, parents, or anyone else with whom you need to communicate on more than a casual level.It is an especially important communication system for romantic love and marriage. If you are in love, want to be in love, or trying to rescue lost love, this system can lead you to levels of understanding, closeness, and intimacy that few people ever reach.For more information about relationships, go to www.MarriageHelper.com. If you have a relationship question that you would like Dr. Beam to answer in his podcasts, leave a recorded message at https://www.speakpipe.com/joebeam.

"Why don't churches talk about sexual refusal?" he asked.He explained that his wife of 28 years quit being sexual with him some six years ago. She said she wasn't interested. He asked her to seek help; she replied that it was his problem.Now he's had enough. He's divorcing her. She's telling the folks at church that she has no idea why he's divorcing her and that he's a bad husband. He wants to go to those folks and tell them what's really going on.What should he do? Is there a solution?In this program Dr. Joe Beam relies not just on his PhD earned while researching marital and sexual satisfaction, but also on his Bachelor's degree and many hours of graduate courses in Bible. He explains what the Bible says about sexuality in marriage and points out a specific section that addresses directly the subject of sexual refusal in marriage.Dr. Beam points out to the caller that there may be an underlying problem that led to her not wanting to have sex with him...but that the man is correct that the Bible teaches sexually fulfilling each other. How does a couple resolve those issues? In this program, you'll learn the basic principles as well as how to find further help for making the sexual aspects of your marriage more fulfilling. For more information about marriage - especially marriage problems - check out the many free articles, podcasts, eBooks, and more on www.MarriageHelper.com.To ask Dr. Beam your question, you may record it at www.SpeakPipe.com/JoeBeam. Then listen to these podcasts to hear Dr. Beam's answers and suggestions.

The caller says that her husband came back home after ending the affair. He's nicer, kinder, and more understanding than he was before the affair happened. His children love the change in him...his son now views his dad as his best friend.But...He won't change his cell phone number. He won't make any changes to his social media. His wife asks. He doesn't comply.Now she's worried that he's still involved with the other woman. Her friends aren't helping with their advice. As a result, she's pulling away from him. She asks what she should do.In this program Dr. Joe Beam answers her questions about what she should do to get her husband to do what she needs to help her feel more secure. He also explains what might be to her advantage to tolerate and what to do if she can't live with the fear of his continued involvement with the other woman.If you wish to leave a question for Dr. Beam to answer in these podcasts, you may record it at www.SpeakPipe.com/JoeBeam. For articles, podcasts, and valuable information about marriages (especially problem marriages) go to www.MarriageHelper.com.

They were together for a decade before they decided to marry. It was wonderful; he told her how happy he was that she is his wife. They laughed. Had fun. Enjoyed life.Until the night he told her that he had found his "soul mate" and wanted his wife's permission to date this amazing new woman in his life.The wife, of course, was devastated. She still loves him. She's trying to find what suddenly went wrong...what she did...what happened...how he could love her so intensely and then, without warning, be "madly in love" with another.Listen to her story. Hear her pain. Understand her self-doubt. Then hear Dr. Joe Beam explain to her what limerence is. He addresses her concern that she was the problem. He helps her think through what likely happened. Most importantly, he gives her specific suggestions about what she should NOT do if she wants to salvage her marriage and what she MUST do if there is a chance of reconciliation.If you have a question for Dr. Beam, go to https://www.speakpipe.com/JoeBeam. After you record your question or comment. We NEVER sell your information to anyone. We ask for your email in case Dr. Beam decides to respond directly to you.