The Lefkoe Institute

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)“Everything I say to you is confidential, isn’t it?” This is one of the first questions our new clients usually ask us.  The answer, of c...

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)Why are so many of us “driven” compulsively to seek or do things that frequently aren’t in our own best self-interest? You probably aren’t surprised that my answer is: beliefs.  But there is a specific type of belief that results in “driven” behavior.  And it is formed in a very specific way.  Let me explain. Imagine you are a young child who has created a host of negative beliefs about yourself or about life. (Very few of us escape childhood without forming a bunch of negative self-esteem beliefs.  I’ve explained why in earlier blogs. http://www.mortylefkoe.com/031610/ (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/031610/); http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wonderful-parents/# (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wonderful-parents/#)) At this point you are in school, interacting with lots of other kids and adults. It dawns on you that you are going to grow up and will have to make your own way in life. You are confronted with a real dilemma, albeit an unconscious one: “How will I make it in life if there’s something fundamentally wrong with me or the world?” Imagine the fear and anxiety you must feel when you experience these two conflicting “facts”: On one hand, you sense that you must make it on your own in life. On the other hand, you have concluded that “There’s something fundamentally wrong with me or life that will make it difficult, if not impossible, to make it on my own.” Why we need survival strategies (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock_business_woman_with_all_office_12153590-300x200.jpg)Fear and anxiety are unpleasant and painful feelings, so children who have them try to find ways of not feeling them. In tens of thousands of sessions with clients, I and other Certified Lefkoe Method Facilitators have discovered that people have two basic ways of dealing with the unpleasant feelings that are caused by negative self-esteem beliefs: First, they use alcohol, drugs, sex, food, or other substances to cover up the feelings and numb themselves or to make themselves feel good. Second, they develop strategies that help them deal with the anxiety that stems from their negative beliefs. I call them “survival strategies” because the fear one experiences when one has negative self-esteem beliefs often makes one feel as if his survival is being threatened. When a survival strategy is formed, the child also forms a belief about that strategy: “What makes me good enough (or important, or worthwhile, etc.) is ….”  A variation of that is: “The way to survive is ….” Survival strategies are based on a child’s observation of what it takes to feel good about herself, to be important, to be worthwhile, or to be able to deal with life in spite of negative self-esteem beliefs. How specific survival strategies are formed Susan’s parents placed a heavy emphasis on friendships, on what others thought of them, and on impressing people, so Susan concluded that the way to survive was to get everyone to like and approve of her. Fred formed a similar belief in a different way:  When he got praise and acknowledgement from his parents he really felt good about himself, in a way he normally didn’t.  So he concluded what made him good enough and important was having people think well of him. Here’s Lauren’s story: She noticed that people treated her dad with respect and admiration because he had been so successful in business and had so much money, so Lauren concluded that what made her important and good enough was being financially successful. Art lived in a community where the people who were considered important and given respect were in gangs and carried guns, so he chose that as his survival strategy. (By the way, one way to know if you have negative self-esteem beliefs is to ask yourself: What makes you good enough [or important, or worthwhile, etc.]?  When you answer anything other than: “Nothing,

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)Bonnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives.
 She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai (http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html (http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html)),
which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book
called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

 Read her original blog post and see my explanation why so many of us have these regrets. “For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. … (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock_Arlington_Cemetary_Fall_Foliag_4447732-300x240.jpg)“When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:” 1.  “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life
others expected of me. “This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.” Notice that Ms. Ware said they knew they had surrendered their dreams “due to choices they had made, or not made.”  And what determined their choices?  Beliefs such as: It’s selfish to do what I want.  I’m not worthy.  I don’t deserve to have what I want.  Mistakes and failure are bad.  If I make a mistake or fail I’ll be rejected.  What makes me good enough and important is having people think well of me.  The way to survive is to do what others want me to do.  I’m not good enough. 2.  “I wish I hadn't worked so hard. "This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their
children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this
regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female
patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted
spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence." The behavior leading to this regret is caused by many beliefs, the most important being: What makes me good enough and important are my achievements.  What makes me good enough or important is being successful. 3. “I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. "Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they
were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the
bitterness and resentment they carried as a result." Here are some beliefs that could keep people from expressing their feelings: My feelings are not important.  If I express my feelings I’ll be rejected.  What makes me good enough or important is having people think well of me.  Anger and conflict are dangerous. 4.  “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. "Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until
their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many
had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden
friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not
giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses
their friends when they are dying." Not staying in touch with friends could be caused by such beliefs as:  What makes me good enough or important are my achievements.  What makes me good enough or important is being successful.  You have to work hard to make money.  If I express myself I’ll get hurt.

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, is one of the most popular personal growth books ever written.  I had the pleasure of meeting him f...

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)If you’re reading this, you are probably interested in personal growth.  And if you are interested in personal growth you’ve probably read a...

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)For many years I thought that virtually all of our behavior and feelings were caused by beliefs.  When thousands of clients found and eliminated the relevant beliefs, they saw spectacular behavioral and emotional changes. After about 12 years, however, I had a client who eliminated scores of beliefs and made many significant changes in his life, but who couldn’t get rid of the anger he felt toward his mother, who was a partner in his construction business, when she gave him advice on how to run his company. At that point I realized that beliefs weren’t the only cause of our feelings, that stimuli could be conditioned to cause emotions, such as being told what to do causing anger and not living up to expectations causing anxiety. (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock_Thinking_man_silhouette_with_t_25125881-300x300.jpg)As time went on I realized that sometimes a sense of ourselves or a sense of life could result in feelings, as could conditioned expectations.  In other words, there were several sources of emotions in addition to beliefs, although beliefs still seemed to be the major source. Occurrings are the major direct cause of feelings There I was for many years until about two years ago when I came upon the distinction between reality and how reality occurs for us, in other words, the meaning we give reality.  I soon realized that the feelings that seemed to be caused by beliefs were caused indirectly by beliefs, but directly by our occurrings.  Here’s an example: Assume a woman has the belief, Men are dangerous.  When she sees a man and feels fear, it seems as if the belief is causing the fear.  In fact, it isn’t.  The belief is responsible for the woman giving the man’s presence the meaning, at that moment, that she is in danger.  That immediate meaning, that “occurring,” is actually causing the feeling of fear. It is true that the meaning she gives that particular man is determined primarily by the beliefs she already had about men in general, but the feeling is still caused by the occurring.  Therefore, by dissolving the occurring you could get rid of the fear at that moment without getting rid of the belief.  This was a major insight for me. Although the occurring can be dissolved immediately along with the emotion it caused, if the belief was not eliminated this woman would continue to give “negative” meanings to encounters with men in the future, which would cause fear. Beliefs don’t directly cause behavior either So for the past couple of years I was clear that emotions were directly caused by occurrings and conditionings, not beliefs.  But up until last week I still thought that our behavior is caused directly by beliefs.  I had plenty of evidence.  For example, I had seen many clients totally stop their procrastination by eliminating 16 or so beliefs.  I had seen many clients start taking actions they had been afraid to take—such as doing things for the first time, approaching women, changing careers—after eliminating the relevant beliefs. What I just realized (and I need to check out further) is that there are usually thoughts just before we act, especially when we refrain from acting.  It appears that those thoughts are occurrings or at least clues to our occurrings.  If this is true, then, like feelings, beliefs are only the indirect cause of our behavior and our occurrings are the direct cause.  If we dissolve those occurrings I suspect that we could take action without eliminating the beliefs. Let’s look at a specific behavior and see how this works.  Procrastination consists of not doing things that either should be done or that we actually want to do.  We have identified about 16 beliefs and conditionings that have seemed to cause this behavioral problem.  How might your occurrings cause you to procrastinate?

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x300-150x150.jpg)How many times have you heard yourself say: I’m upset, or I’m angry, or I’m happy? If you are typical, many times a day.  But stop for a moment and consider what you are actually saying.  You are saying “I am …. (some specific emotion).”  Whether you mean to or not, you are defining yourself as being your emotions. Actually, when you are in the grip of a strong emotion, it really feels all encompassing, as if there is no part of “you” that isn’t that emotion.   In fact, sometimes a negative emotion so feels like who we are that we resist letting go of it even when we dislike having the feeling.  In other words, often we seem to want to hold on to feelings because it seems as if giving up the feeling is like giving up part of ourselves. Take a moment and remember a time when you felt angry at someone and you knew on some level that the person really hadn’t done anything so terrible and that you ought to let go of the anger.  Take a moment and really make the incident real. … Do you remember that some part of you didn’t want to let go of the anger, as if you’d be losing some part of yourself if the emotion were to stop? (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock_Expressive_Eggs_2569793-300x150.jpg)It also can be difficult to let go of an emotion when it feels as if the emotion is validating the meaning we’ve given an event.  It can feel to us as if letting go of the emotion will invalidate that meaning and letting go of the meaning will invalidate the feeling (which is who we feel we are).  An example of this would be someone who doesn’t do something for us that he promised to do.  We might give that event the meaning that I can’t count on people and I have to do everything myself, which likely would lead us to feel angry.  It feels to us as if it really is true that we can’t count on people.  So the anger justifies the meaning we gave the event (which has no inherent meaning).  At the same time the meaning justifies the feeling, so we might resist letting go of the meaning we made up. But is that actually true?  Are we our emotions? If we really are our emotions, then when an emotion disappeared, we should disappear … but we don’t.  Let me explain this outrageous statement: If we say we are anything specific, and that thing disappears, then logically we would have to disappear.  But we don’t disappear when our emotions disappear. Not only do emotions fade away automatically after a period of time, it also is possible to stop emotions on the spot by getting rid of the two things that cause them: stimuli that have been conditioned and our occurrings, in other words, the meaning we give events moment-to-moment. As I’ve explained in several posts, we unconsciously and automatically give meaning to meaningless events all day long.  Because events that have no inherent meaning can’t cause us to have feelings, the feelings we have must come from the meaning we give the events.  And by dissolving the meaning—in other words, how events occur for us—we can dissolve all the negative feelings that arise from the meaning. So if the emotions we have usually dissipate on their own after a while and if our emotions are primarily the result of meaning we give events and we can dissolve most emotions merely by dissolving the meaning that gave rise to them, can you get that it is more accurate to say we “have” emotions, but are not our emotions? The two best ways to get rid of negative emotions are to dissolve the conditionings and the occurrings that cause the feelings.  But if you don’t know how to do that, however, it still is possible to lessen the impact emotions have on you.  How? By noticing when you feel swept up by a strong negative emotion that “you” are observing your feeling.  And the “you” that is doing the observing is not the same “you” that is having the emotion.

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)Can I eliminate beliefs on my own? Do you have Certified Lefkoe Method Facilitators in my area? How do beliefs differ from occurrings? Now that over 100,000 people from over 60 countries have eliminated at least one belief using the Lefkoe Belief Process, we get calls all day long from every corner of the globe. We are asked these and similar questions about the Lefkoe Institute’s products and services that are designed to free you from your limitations and enable you to create the life you’ve always wanted to live. Although we are happy to talk to you directly and personally answer all your questions, I thought it would be useful to describe in a blog post all the products and services we offer and how they differ from each other. This post will help you decide which of our products or services will best help you reach your goals and give you some suggestions on where to begin. Please don’t hesitate to call us at 415-884-0552 if you still have any questions. The sources of our problems The Lefkoe Method (TLM) consists of several processes that we use to help clients eliminate limiting beliefs and de-condition stimuli that result in negative emotions. Here is a short description of the major processes. The most significant source of our self-imposed limitations is our beliefs. Our core beliefs about ourselves, people and life are formed in the first five or six years of life through interactions with our primary caretakers, usually our parents. Other beliefs can be formed at any point in our lives and determine our behavior and influence our feelings. All of these beliefs can be eliminated with the Lefkoe Belief Process. Our emotional life is the result both of beliefs and conditionings. Emotions can result from conditioned events, such as fear that is caused by criticism, or anger caused by being told what to do. Such conditionings can be de-conditioned with the Lefkoe Stimulus Process. Our feeling sense of ourselves (such as heavy, overwhelming, and despair) can be the result of a conditioned sense of self, which can be de-conditioned by the Lefkoe Sense Process. And we can have feelings resulting from our expectations, such as expecting disaster when we try something new. Such negative expectations can be eliminated with the Lefkoe Expectation Process. On a moment-to-moment basis, our reactions are determined mainly by our “occurrings,” which are the meaning we give to events that have no inherent meaning. To use the example I’ve used before, imagine a friend of yours comes into a room, sees you, and doesn’t say hello. To many of us it would seem as if what actually happened in reality was our friend was angry with us. In fact, all that happened is that our friend saw us and did not say hello. That event has no inherent meaning. That he is angry with us is how the event occurs to us. Beliefs are generalized statements about ourselves, people and life that serve as a filter through which we view reality all the time. Our “occurrings,” on the other hand, are the meaning we give specific events as they happen moment-to-moment. The Lefkoe Occurring Process teaches you how to distinguish between events and how events occur for us, and then how to dissolve the occurring. The Lefkoe Method (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/logo_thumb.jpg)The Lefkoe Method consists of all the processes we have created, most of which I’ve described above. For more details about these processes and a few others, designed mainly for organizations, please see a series of four blog posts I wrote in 2010. http://www.mortylefkoe.com/lefkoe-method-part-1/# (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/lefkoe-method-part-1/). http://www.mortylefkoe.com/rid-negative-senses/# (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/rid-negative-senses/#). http://www.mortylefkoe.com/well-being-tlm-part/# (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/well-being-tlm-part/#).

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)If you asked someone, “Do things exist?” the response would probably be, “Of course things exist! The world is full of things. Everyone know...

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)Based on surveys of my blog readers, most of you are primarily interested in changing your “creation”—in other words, you want to improve yo...

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)If you have read any of the writings of the top self-help experts during the past 10 years—such as Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, or Joe Vitale—you’ve learned that permanent change is impossible without eliminating the beliefs that are keeping you stuck. I agree; beliefs do have that power.  But why?  What gives our beliefs the power they have to determine our behavior and feelings? There are two reasons why beliefs have the power they have—one is obvious, the other more subtle. Our beliefs about reality ARE our reality First, a belief is a statement about people, reality, or ourselves that feels like the truth to us.  Although you might think that you would consciously agree with what you believe, in fact, it is possible to consciously disagree with something you believe.  (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock_Using_a_squeegee_to_clear_the__165550101-300x200.jpg)For example, you can know intellectually that mistakes are good learning experiences and still believe that mistakes are bad.  If you have that belief, you would be afraid of trying new things or allowing others to know about your mistakes, even if you consciously think that mistakes are not bad at all. Because most of us usually act consistently with reality, we act consistently with what we think reality is, not with what reality actually is.  In other words, if we believe I’m not good enough, People can’t be trusted, or Life is difficult (none of which are true)—then we will deal with reality as if these statements are the truth.  As a result, they will determine what we do and how we feel. To use one simple example, if you believe I’m not loveable, Relationships don’t work, and Men/women can’t be trusted—if that is your reality—you have virtually no chance of having a nurturing, loving long-term relationship.  Get rid of those and other related beliefs and you’ve changed your reality.  At which point the possibility of a nurturing, loving long-term relationships becomes possible. Because we view reality through the filter of our beliefs, which color our perceptions, long-term fundamental change requires eliminating the beliefs that limit us.  Yes, it sometimes is possible to use will power to act against our beliefs in the short run, but ultimately we will act consistently with the way we view reality. Beliefs are the primary source of our “occurrings” There is a second way in which beliefs determine our lives: by influencing our moment-to-moment reactions. For about 25 years I thought that beliefs affected our behavior and feelings directly, as explained above.  To some extent I still think that is true.  But a couple of years ago I realized that our moment-to-moment actions and feelings are determined primarily by the meaning we unconsciously and automatically give reality, in other words, how reality occurs to us—not by what actually happens in reality. For example, imagine a friend of yours walks in a room that you are in, notices you, and doesn’t talk to you.  Most people would think: My friend is angry with me.  This would be so real that most people would say to someone with them: Don’t you see that my friend is angry with me? But all that actually happened is the friend noticed you and didn’t talk to you.  That event could occur to you as: He is angry with me.  And because you deal with reality based on how it occurs to you—which you are convinced is what actually happened—you would respond to your friend as if he really is angry with you.  Even though his anger exists only in your mind, not in reality. We are constantly giving meaning to events.  We do it 20-40 times a day.  And we are hardly ever aware of it.  So our “occurrings” run our lives.  And what is the relationship between our occurrings and our beliefs?  Our beliefs are the primary determinant of how reality occurs to us.

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3001-150x150.jpg)About 30% of the people who used the Lefkoe Belief Process (LBP) to eliminate a belief told us in a survey that they thought the belief had not been eliminated.  We were surprised at that statistic because well over 90% of the people we work with directly eliminate a belief.  Why were so many not successful when they used the online process? After spending a lot of time researching the issue we finally discovered that over 90% of the people who used the on-line process actually did eliminate a belief.  The problem was that a large number of people who did eliminate a belief still thought that the LBP hadn’t worked. They had a hard time believing they had done what they just did. This skepticism has produced a big marketing problem for the Lefkoe Institute since its inception 27 years ago.  An awful lot of people just don’t believe it is possible to do what we promise to do. What makes The Lefkoe Method unique (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock_figure-_w_Question_Mark_3993056-300x300.jpg)Our unique distinction is that we can help people quickly and permanently eliminate all the relevant beliefs and conditionings that cause virtually any behavioral or emotional problem in their lives.  But most people have the belief: Change is difficult, takes a long time, and requires a lot of reinforcement.  So telling people what we offer usually results in people expressing skepticism about our claim.  Even when people actually eliminate a belief, they sometimes have a hard time acknowledging that it really has been eliminated. Four ways to know that a belief really is gone I’d like to suggest four questions you can ask to determine if any belief-elimination process you are using really works. 1.  Does the belief you want to get rid of go away and stay away?  You can know a belief is eliminated right after an exercise because the words of the belief no longer feel true; the words feel as if they have no meaning.  That’s not the same as having an insight that has you conclude the belief must be gone because it no longer makes sense to hold the belief or because the belief doesn’t feel as true as it did before.  In this type of situation it can seem as if the belief is really gone, but it really isn’t. Another way to check is to say the words of the belief several days later. Do they feel true, uncomfortable? Do they resonate with you?  Or do the words still feel meaningless? With no energy or discomfort?  If you still feel as if the belief is gone several days later, it probably is. 2.   Did you get rid of some undesirable behavior or feeling after eliminating all the relevant beliefs? Ultimately you don’t care about eliminating beliefs. Eliminating beliefs is a means to an end.  The true test to know that beliefs are gone is if the problem that the beliefs caused is gone.  Because most problems usually are caused by a number of beliefs, you have to eliminate at least 8-10 beliefs to know that any given problem is gone, which then is proof that the beliefs must also be gone. For example, procrastination is caused by 16 beliefs.  A good test that the 16 beliefs have been eliminated is to see if your procrastination disappears and doesn’t come back.  (Actually it is caused by 13 beliefs and three conditionings, but conditioning is not really relevant in this discussion.) On the other hand, you cannot determine if any given belief is gone by checking to see if your problem is gone.  Hardly ever will getting rid of just one or two beliefs eliminate a problem.  Because there isn’t always any noticeable change in your behavior or emotions as a result of eliminating one or two beliefs, the absence of change is not proof that you still have the belief. 3.  Did you get a guarantee that the beliefs will not come back AND the problem that the beliefs cause will not come back either.  

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x3002-150x150.jpg)At one point or another, everyone has uttered the words: “I am happy.”  And: “I am upset.” Notice what happens when you say: “I am [something].”  You are describing yourself.  Any words that follow the statement “I am” is your description of yourself. Moreover, when we say, “I am [something],” it feels as if we really are that “something.” It feels as if our entire being is happy, or upset, or anxious, or any other emotion we say we are. But is that really who we are? (http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock_Happy_Smiley_Between_Sad_Ones_5681363-300x300.jpg)Most readers of my weekly blog have eliminated at least one belief using the Lefkoe Belief Process (see http://recreateyourlife.com (http://recreateyourlife.com/)) where they discovered that they are not merely a “creation,” who has beliefs and feelings and who takes action, they also are the creator of that creation. Although the creation you think you are is comprised of your beliefs and feelings and what you do, the consciousness you really are is whole and complete, for whom anything is possible and nothing is missing. Thus, it actually is more accurate to say: My creation has feelings, but I am not my feelings.  My creation has beliefs, but I am not my beliefs.  My creation takes action, but I am not what I do. This is not merely semantics When you experience that you are your feelings, you are totally at the effect of them.  They seem to pervade your entire being and there seems to be no escape from them. When you experience that you have feelings, but they are not who you are, you make a clear distinction between “you” and “your feelings.”  That enables you to get some perspective on the feelings and to place your SELF outside the feelings, so that you are no longer at their effect. How do you do that?  There is a simple way to experience that you have feelings, but are not your feelings.  I’m not talking about an affirmation, where you try to convince yourself of something you don’t really believe.  I’m talking about experiencing the truth of the statement. First, use the Who Am I Really? Process, which comes at the end of the LBP, several times.  You can get a link to the WAIR? Process at http://d3n3f57qjh51zc.cloudfront.net/who-am-i-really-new.mp3 (http://d3n3f57qjh51zc.cloudfront.net/who-am-i-really-new.mp3). Then, when you start having some negative feelings and you notice that you are at the effect of them, remind yourself what you experienced in the WAIR? Process: “I am the creator of my life, not merely a creation.”  And then remind yourself of the experience you will already have had: “I have feelings; I am not my feelings.” When you do that, notice how the intensity of the feeling diminishes and how the feeling starts to lose its grip on you. Try it and let me know your experience.  I promise it will transform the way you experience your feelings. Please leave your comments and questions here about today’s post.  I read all posts and answer as many as I can. If you found this post useful, please tell your friends and followers by using the buttons at the top of this post. If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to htp://www.recreateyourlife.com/free (http://recreateyourlife.com/free) where you can eliminate one negative belief free. For information about eliminating 23 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings—which cause eight of the most common problems in our lives including a lack of confidence—and get a separate video of the WAIR? Process, please check out: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence (http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence). To get my blog posts as podcasts, sign up for the RSS feed above or look up “Morty Lefkoe” at iTunes to get the podcasts sent to you weekly.

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/morty-lefkoe-blog-post-photo1-150x150.jpg)This week I am going to tell you about an easy-to-play game that will enable you to banish negativity and victimhood from your life.  If you actually play the game...

(http://www.mortylefkoe.com/wp-content/uploads/marty_lefkoe_headshots_Blog_053_201_edit_235251x300-150x150.jpg)This week, for the very first time in the three years I’ve been writing this blog, I am devoting the entire space to reprinting an article wr...