The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

-Today we’ll discuss what are often called “gringo prices” and how to spot when you’re being singled for the dubious honor of paying more than you have to  -Some news for meat eaters: yes there are plenty of available, non-factory-farm, free-range (driveway) chickens- probably in your own nice Latin neighborhood. You’ll certainly hear them at all hours (and possibly want to strangle them personally). But note the locals have a very limited number of such birds for sale so if you’re into somewhat healthy eating you’ll have to know where to get em’ live and fresh on a regular basis…-Now for some weird things you never knew about the chickens down here in Latin America… long with some tips on the types, care, handling, slaying and dismemberment of said birds.-And for red meat lovers: here are the available choices and what you should look out for. Remember, in Latin America one can practically count on the fact that the sanitation factor will fall short in most slaughterhouses and meat markets- though there are ways to maintain your own high standards (if you have any)    -There is a rather ubiquitous, disturbing dental problem that occurs in a high percentage of the Latin population that’s just is not an issue in the first-world. Can you guess what it is?     - What’s your exit plan? Do you have a "Plan B"? The clock is ticking….If not- be sure to check out my latest off-the-tourist-trail, boots-on-the-ground, fast-track seminar event in Central America. Come down to the January 2015 seminar, formulate your own “Plan B” and find out how to live an extraordinarily good life in Latin America on a measly Social Security check. For complete details, go to www.ExpatWisdom.com, and click on the Latin American Seminar link at the top of the main page.  -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.  

-Speaking of earthquakes, during the recording of last week’s show there was a 5.2 and I certainly felt it. -It’s time to pick on the backpackers again, this time in regards to earthquakes. Expat Eddie has one of the wildest theories yet (though faintly scientific) as to why so many friendly, blissfully odoriferous backpackers report many small earth tremors that most of us expats and locals rarely pick up on. Only Eddie could come up with this one…       -Speaking of Latin culture quirks and Latin sociology, every expat and gringo ought to take a trip to a Latin American traveling carnival. That’s one place you can get a very good idea of the marginally uncomfortable mixing of the lower, middle and wealthy classes. You can also see many teenage Latin girls down on the carnival midway displaying their fashion/coolness statements (mostly to outdo the other adolescent girls). It’s a very good place to show off their style (and those new shoes). And as young adolescent Latin boys will admit, the two best places to check out the young girls is not at the local McDonalds or a mall but at a carnival(its second only to the Sunday mass "fashion" show ). -Ever wonder what it’s like to be the only gringo in a crowd of 1000 or even 2000 people? Yes, that’s often what it’s like when you live “off the gringo tourist trail”. It’s an experience you’re not likely to forget. And if you’re like me, after a while you get so used to being sort of a “B” grade VIP it’s hard to go back to being a nondescript slug.     - Some hard learned tips and suggestions for gringos regarding machetes (you’ll surely have one or two in the garden shed)-Now for some weird things you never knew about coconuts: if you’re into drinking coconut water( as you should be) you’ll like these tips on the types of available coconuts as well as the care, handling and manipulation of said giant seeds- What’s your exit plan? Do you have a "Plan B"? The clock is ticking….Be sure to check out my latest off-the-tourist-trail, boots-on-the-ground, fast-track experience in Central America. Come to my January 2015 seminar and formulate your own “Plan B”. Find out how to live an extraordinarily good life in Latin America on a measly Social Security check. For complete details, go to www.ExpatWisdom.com, and click on the Latin American Seminar link at the top of the main page.  -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.  

-Do to popular demand we're back on that popular subject of buying land and property in Latin America: Long time “Expat Files” listeners know by now that there is a big real estate bubble throughout Latin America that's soon to pop. But if you folks are so well informed, then why do I still get so many emails asking about how to get cheap real estate deals in certain popular Latin American hot spots (fashionable with gringos that is). Seems expat wannabees and gonnabees are itching to get in on a piece of some Latin American ground floor action- wherever it's fashionable-  despite of the bubble warning. For example, the latest place that’s been getting a lot of press is Nicaragua. Now get this straight- in a bubble there are no ground floor real estate opportunities. So why do people keep thinking there are? Well for two reasons; (#1) certain popular expat sites and newsletters are way behind the curve, They have no substantial  “boots on the ground” experience or ears to the ground at the street level can’t get a grip on what’s unfolding...not to mention  they need constant upbeat news items and stories…#2- these expat news and info sites must continuously pump gringo development projects and such because that’s where the commissions are and some do have a piece of the action either directly or indirectly. Bottom line – Don’t believe real estate brokers, even gringo brokers… especially gringo brokers!!! Selling is how they make their dough.  -More on buying or renting land and property out in the boonies.. far from the maddening crowds   -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click the Latin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out.  -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.  

-Part 2 concerning the predatory FATCA banking laws that are forcing foreign banks to reveal complete details of US citizen bank accounts to the IRS. This odiferous law will be phasing in starting July 1, 2014. And now more details on some immediate and long term steps you might want to take… -Are expats unpatriotic? Some stateside folks seem to think that leaving the US for good is not only unpatriotic but somehow bordering on being turncoat. On the other hand, just ask long term expats down here in Latin America what there is to be patriotic about and you’ll get a sigh and a long pregnant pause. We've had our serious expat discussions... so really, what’s there to be patriotic or proud about? The Motor City? Miami? Our drones? The Congress? The incredible shrinking dollar? Homeland Security? The wonderful schools? Personally, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Yes,  expats know the facts … the US we grew all up in no longer exists. -You may know that no doctor’s prescription is needed for medicine in most Latin American pharmacies. But did you know that you can walk into a Latin pharmacy and buy just ONE Band-Aid or ONE Ampicillin, ONE Tetracycline tab,ONE throat lozenge, or even ONE cigarette, etc.? Because of that, many average Latins buy less than the required dosage and do not finish their course of medication properly. What are the consequences of that? The answers will surprise you.   -In case you’ve been wondering: now for some stuff you never knew about midwives, home-births and caesarian deliveries in Latin America    -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click the Latin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out. -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

As predicted, the predatory FATCA banking laws that force foreign banks to reveal complete details of US citizen bank accounts to the IRS will be phasing in starting July 1, 2014. And just now we have learned that the 2nd largest bank in Mexico is sending letters to US clients announcing that they will drop or close out all of their existing US client accounts in 30 days, that's June 30th. Remember, there are 1 million US citizens living at least part time in Mexico. Meaning tens of thousands of these unlucky folks must scramble to find other foreign banks to transfer their accounts. But guess what? Other foreign banks won’t open new accounts for US clients either! What to do? Well here are some immediate and long term solutions; no joke, it's really a conundrum for Expats and gonnabees.    - Oddly enough, down here in Latin America about 95 percent of retail businesses do not accept checks. You see signs to that effect everywhere. Though nearly all establishments that are “on the books” (registered and pay taxes) do take VISA, MasterCard and American Express and credit cards issued from foreign banks. Still everyone prefers cash. So then, if most retail businesses do not accept checks at all, why do Latin banks offer them? Why not go skip it altogether and save the rainforest? Here’s the scoop on that.          -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click the Latin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out.  -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-Lately there have been some frantic emails coming in from expat wannabees and gonnabees who own gold up in the states. They are quite concerned about things up there and hope to move their physical metal to their Latin country of choice. In this episode we discuss some of the right and the wrong ways of going about it. -Now on the subject of transporting gold, we sadly relate a sorry tale of an unprepared, non-Spanish speaking, somewhat clueless gringo who got himself in some big trouble while carrying his gold through the airport in Mexico City. For his troubles, he did get his gold back but it cost him two weeks in jail and $60K.      -What about gringos and Latin jails and prisons? You may have heard rumors that in Latin America gringos are sometimes arrested on trumped-up charges and some end up in medieval prisons for years before even getting a trial… like in that TV show “Locked up Abroad”. Well the fact is that statistically, gringos and expats living abroad are about 50 times LESS likely to end up in jail or prison than the average Latin person. So ironically, any unlucky gringo that ends up in a bad spot like that will be such a rarity that he’ll have a solid “gringo advantage” behind bars. Not much to look forward to, but just thought you’d like to know.         -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click the Latin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out. -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.   

-When stateside folks hear about $300 a month live-in maids, cleaning ladies, full time gardeners, even nurses and LPN’s at first they don’t believe it’s possible. Most gringos have to see it for themselves. But even after you land down here, suppose you are looking for a maid or an extend-care  live-in nurse. How do you go about it? And what if your Spanish sucks?  -The virtues of having a secure lockup room in your house: some cheap and easy tips on how to set one up and other suggestions for peace of mind when you’re out of the house, on vacation or your new cleaning lady is roaming around and she’s still on “probation”   -Some more talk about easy, very low cost, expat business opportunities that seem to pop up so often when you’re down here in Latin America   -Gypsies tramps and thieves: some life lessons and hard-learned gringo guidelines for giving change over to Latin street beggars. Yes it’s your dough and you can do what you want with it but try not to reward the beggars who are actually putting you on.                               -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click the Latin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out.   -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.  

-Here's some clandestine “boots on the ground” facts you’ll never get from the mainstream press…and direct from a gringo recently married to a Venezuelan, and now living with their new kid in Caracas- a city the stats say is the murder capital of the world. He tells first-hand of kidnapping accounts and other crimes frequently happening so close to home that they occur practically on his doorstep… and all this is in a so-called “good” neighborhood!   -Other than politicians, government officials, black marketers and drug lords, very few Venezuelans with legitimate careers make a decent living on what we might call an equivalent first-world salary. But plastic and cosmetic surgeons are doing fine. In fact they’re cleaning up. Here’s a story taken from my late night interview with one such Venezuelan doctor who explained the how’s and the why’s of the business and in sometimes shocking detail.  -Now a little background on a little Colombian business that has taken the fashion world by storm. In fact it has penetrated all of Latin America and has now franchised up to the states and is doing gangbusters. And as you are aware, almost no Latin businesses ever successfully franchise to the first world.     -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click theLatin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out. -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-Here’s one for the books. A few days ago on a Latin Cruise ship voyage down South America way I witnessed an event that speaks volumes on what we gringos might generally describe as a demonstratively emotional culture.    -Part 1 of my own personal take on an all-inclusive South American boat cruise: Just because it’s dirt-cheap compared to other North American Cruise lines, that’s not the only reason to consider booking this trip. Because you're traveling as a first-world gringo who's probably been on cruises before, you’ll instantly notice a different, more agreeable, happy and pleasant attitude among all the passengers and crew. Note that even if you speak no Spanish at all, you will enjoy the whole experience immensely and it does help that everyone on board seems to be having the time of their lives.       -The passengers on my particular cruise to South America consisted of 99.9% Latins. All of them obviously in the upper 3% of Latin folks economically positioned to afford the fare. So then, what types of Latin folks would sign on for such a cruise? What are the occupations, educational backgrounds and incomes in that cross section? You’ll be surprised.               -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click the Latin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out.   -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-Have you ever flown a Latin American international airline like TACA, COPA or AVIANCA? Note that there are a lot of little differences that are quite worth mentioning. Compared to flying US or European based airlines, Latin Airlines are much more friendly, relaxed and pleasant. Again, it’s like going back in time to the US airlines of the 70’s or 80’s… and when at Latin airports outside of the USA, there’s no manhandling or embarrassing pokes or probes. Even in Panama- which has a very big brother style airport and the personnel are lazy-ass jerks who seem to hate their jobs. Yes they give you the evil eye but do not hassle, grill, poke or drag you over to special lines to humiliate or examine your orifices. -Part 3 of an expat hanging out in Venezuela: this may be the one of the strangest “gringo advantage” stories yet -For many reasons I don’t recommend Panama for expats, but because it happens to be a large international airline and cruise ship hub you will sometimes be forced to make connections there- especially if you’re going to South America. That said, here’s some advice and money saving tips on how to make the best of your (hopefully) short stays in Panama (and an unbeatable hotel "all inclusive" package that's not to be missed)   -There’s something special you should know about those hotel room digital  lock boxes called “caja fortes” in Spanish.      -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click theLatin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out. -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-Are you planning to become an expat in Latin America in an effort to continue to live a first-world lifestyle? If you’re on a budget (aren’t we all?) or restricted to a $1200-$1500 a month SS check, you’ll find it harder and harder to pull that off of you’re in SOUTH AMERICA, that is, unless you are many miles away from any medium or large city and can adapt to the slow-paced rural life. Though admittedly, you can still do quite well in Paraguay on a SS check- even in Venezuela. But believe me, Venezuela’s a different ballgame and not for the faint of heart.      -Some more general thoughts about retiring on a tight budget, or just plain maintaining a first-world lifestyle in Latin America on something like an average Social Security check.          -Part 2 of an expat hanging out in Caracas, Venezuela: Despite what you may have heard about the persistent Chavez anti-gringo effect, the folks here in Venezuela do both love and envy gringos. In fact the “gringo advantage” is very, very strong here. But since there are almost no gringos around to feel the power, it’s a somewhat moot point! For 99.9% of gringos, in the final analysis Venezuela’s a difficult, uncomfortable place and definitely not for the green gringo! Also note that so few people speak English here that if you aren’t boned up a bit on Spanish you could have a time of it just finding a decent restaurant, bathroom or even ordering a coke. And forget about finding toilet paper, that stuff’s only found in high-end hotels.      -And now from the, “Just when you thought you’ve heard it all” department: a petty crime-prevention trick I bet you’ve never heard about before. It was a new one for me too.    -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click the Latin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out.  -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-Today I’m hanging out in Caracas, Venezuela. Last time here (when Chavez was alive) I was fired upon and my rental car tires were shot out, but that was a few years back. So now, with all the new economic and social turmoil we’ve been hearing about lately, it was time to see for myself just how much the media and stateside blowhards have spun the situation(or not). Who can you believe? Me of course (err.. maybe)? Does all the reported street chaos make for great opportunities for expats in Venezuela - or should we stay away until the place hits bottom? Is now a good time to go in and use your “gringo advantage”? The question is: how much of what we hear about Venezuela from the 1st world media is really true… or is it just the US govt and the alphabet agencies manipulating us with video and sound bites yet again? Well now you have the skinny direct from me in the trenches… -My how the common folks in Venezuela tell white lies. And how.. they try to rip you off and attempt to slyly gouge you.  Let me count the ways! They tried all of that stuff on me a number of times and sort of got away with it to a small extent. Don't get me wrong, it’s not that the folks there are innately criminals or born rip-off artists. Is just that it’s impossible to live, pay rent (and eat too) even if one makes four times the so-called mandatory minimum wage. That said, 90%  of Venezuelans are angling for extra dough to just survive(and you would too).               -My upcoming JULY, 2014 “Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on thewww.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click the Latin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out. -Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.   

Experienced Expat, John Mueller, tells what its really like for Americans to live, work, and/or retire down in Latin America.

Experienced Expat, John Mueller, tells what its really like for Americans to live, work, and/or retire down in Latin America.

Many touring and long-term gringos are technically illegal aliens. That’s what gringos become if they stay beyond the 90 day tourist visa. It’s very common and generally nothing to worry about. Normally you have to pay a nominal fine at the boarder the next time you leave. It’s a dollar or so each day you run over the 90 day period, and unlike in the USA, you don’t get black marks or end up on any feces lists, etc. You are welcomed back with no problems at all. However, if you ever get stopped at one of those pesky cop roadblocks and do happen to produce your passport and the cop is smart enough to see you are over the 90 days allowed, you can be sure you will have to pony up a nice bribe, or they may just keep you on the sidelines for hours. Even though it’s out of the cop’s jurisdiction and really no big deal, the cops will make it seem serious and scare a bribe out of you. I’ve been there, I know.-How to use your gringo advantage along with some neat tips to avoid getting stopped at police transit roadblocks-Keeping a low profile in Latin America is one of the keys to remaining free and unbothered. A low profile allows us gringos to mingle with all classes of people as well as go anywhere- and in great measure- do and say pretty much anything (non-aggressively) we feel like without annoyance or offense. But once you lose that anonymity your life here will become vastly more complicated and stressful. Ask any gringo who has slowly let his anonymity slip away. If so, then what happens and what can you do to regain it? And is that even possible?-My upcoming JULY, 2014 "Expat Wisdom” seminar is set to go so. The dates will be Saturday, July 12 thru Thursday, July 17. The agenda and complete signup details are on the www.ExpatWisdom.com website main page. Just click the Latin American Seminar link on the top of the main page and check it out.-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.