Retro Radio Podcast

The ballots have all been cast and counted, and the new mayor is Lizabeth Peabody. It is more than Abner can stand to have a feminine woman type person as mayor. Has he had a chance to speak to his wife? What does Lizabeth think of her landslide win as a write-in candidate? Lum doesn’t see it as such a big loss. An untrained, unqualified person like Lizabeth will need a man to advise her. Lum can advise Abner, and Abner can then advise Lizabeth on the matters of running the town. Abner just isn’t too keen on holding the title of secretary to the mayor. Pitching his ideas to Abner to show him how easy this arrangement will be, Abner warms up to the idea. A phone call from the new mayor soon gives the gents a glimpse of what they’ll be up against.

Cathy Lewis plays three parts in the night’s play. She’s Elliot’s wife, his mother, and his secretary. As his wife gets him off to work, on a whim he buys a bunch of violets from a street kid. In the office, his secretary is given a violet, and takes it to mean something more than it is. Office gossip spreads, and everybody begins to think Elliot’s having an affair. Everybody but him. . Setting his secretary straight, he takes back the violets, and goes to take them to his mom. Elliot’s day finds himself going to the doctor for a check up, and the violets go along. Back at the office, the morning confusion seems cleared up, but what should Elliot do with his violets that he can’t seem to get rid of? After a hard day, Elliot returns home for a pleasant ending to his wierd day. At the least, the flowers have opened some doors, and brought Elliot a little closer to people that he normally takes for granted.

As Vic and Sade wrap up a rousing hand of playing cards Rush comes home from his night out with his friends. Rush needs some legal advise from Vic andhe lays out the story. Bluetooth Johnson wants to sue the Bijou theater for having an unsafe environment. The case just might be a good one, but Vic points out that Bluetooth is just as responsible for his unfortunate incident of the evening. Sade watches on as Vic battles legal wits with Rush, who insists he has a case.

Johnny prepares his first expense report items as his flight nears his destination. The passengers are all abuzz when a man who swiped Johnny’s overcoat was pushed overboard. In London, he is on the track of a missing painting. The client is a man who has a travelling art display with a rotating stock of paintings to show. With the story of the travelling museum told, the client has to leave on business to Paris, and Johnny goes to check the museum out. Johnny begins to think the misadventure on the airplane may have been an attempt on his life. Is he in danger, and if so who would want to harm our sweet little old insurance investigator? More information comes from the lovely art assistant who shows Johnny the blank wall where the painting once hung. Johnny is off to Scotland Yard to get the official police report. Though the painting has been reported missing, no serious charges, or investigations are being pursued. He compares notes on the list of suspects the girl from the museum gave to him to see what the cops know, but they seem surprised that anybody is doing any serious investigation. Johnny has another near miss when a car nearly runs him down. The expenses pile up as Johnny tracks down the list of known theives. He finds what appears to be a missing painting, a body, and some fresh gunshots coming his way. With the painting found and in the hand of the cops, the insurance investigation seems about over, but Johnny wants to learn who has it out for him. Johnny’s intimate conversation with the lovely Muriel is interupted when his insurance company calls him. They claim that the missing frame is at least as valuable as the painting itself, so Johnny is back on the job. Now however, he has a little more to go on, and heads right for the wood shop where the key evidence to wrap things up is found. What is it that links the murders, and attempts on his life with the missing artwork? Is Muriel behind it, or somebody else? The secrets of the case come out, but Johnny isn’t out of danger quite yet.

George and Gracie sit in the Brown Derby, waiting to have lunch with Jack Benny. George complains about jack being cheap, and his habit of not picking up the check. Jack enters, and the group start to order. To make a point with Jack, George insists on the expensive items, and when Jack steps away later, Gracie and George talk about Jack behind his back. Though George plans to make sure that Jack takes the check, Gracie tells George to pay for the check to be polite about it. Back at home, George is still burned up over Jack’s treatment, and having to pay the check. Gracie wonders over the difference of Jack in his younger days when he wasn’t so cheap. In the old days, Jack had it all, looks, money, fame, and generous to a fault. Gracie goes into flashback mode to relive a time before she and George were married. Jack visits with flowers, and has an expensive night on the town planned. He tells how he goes through expenses so quickly and even takes her for a spin in his latest new car. A Maxwell that he doesn’t plan on keeping around for long. Gracie holds off on Jack’s proposal, and George walks in in the middle of it. The two guys bicker over Gracie, and jokes fly about their talent and egos. George shows off by singing, Jack shows off with his violin. George clobbers Jack over the head with the violin, and Generous Jack becomes Miserly Jack. Gracie realizes that it’s all their fault that Jack is stingy. All that is needed is for George to hit Jack again. After a talk with a psychiatrist, George believes it just might work, if they can recreate the setting that Jack was in when he was first hit. That means convincing him that George and Gracie are splitting up, so Jack can propose to Gracie again. The set up is staged, Gracie invites Jack over and wants to make sure he brings his violin. George steps out to give Jack time to do his thing. Jack brings flowers, at least a pack of seeds. He gets on his knees, but with more sound affects. George enters to find Jack in the compromising position, then takes a knee as well, and with as much sound affect. As an aside, they talk about the pains of growing older. Bill Goodwin enters and sees the two gents on their knees, and jumps to his own conclusion about the situation. He is told the story of the split up, and Bill wants the chance to marry Gracie. But he goes into a commercial instead. Back to the proposal. Jack decides to settle this with violin playing, so George whacks him. Will it work? Will Jack be generous again? Will this be the solution to make everybody happy?

A typo on a handbill has turned the tide of the election to Abner’s favor. All men are to hand their paychecks over to their wives. Today, Lum discusses the campaign with Dick Huddleston. Dick claims he may not be supporting Abner after that last campaign promise, and Lum has to tell him about the mistake. Abner is out trying to settle the matter in town, and be honest about his mistake. Cedric enters to report on the speeches being given. He tells about the domestic dispute in his home over the lection. Abner enters in high spirits to tell about the campaign progress. A batch of sample ballots have been printed, and Abner wants to demonstrate to the women how to vote. Lum is sure his friend will win, but Cedric brings in news that could keep the women from voting tomorrow. There’s a big sale in Mena.

Rush has a thought that hit him like a flash of light. He presents his idea to Vic. It involves all that money that he’s had in the bank for years. Typically Vic and Sade have shut him down on touching his savings, but Rush proposes to only draw on his accrued interest. Apparently Rush thinks the combined front of asking both parents at once is too difficult a task, so he’s trying to get Vic to commit on saying, “yes,” but I don’t think Vic is going for it. Despite the high pressure sale, Vic remains noncommittal, and refers Rush to talk to Sade. Rush takes another approach. Certain that Sade will shut him down, he asks for Vics help in convincing her to consider the idea. Is Vic willing to stir up that hornets nest? I can hear those panthers screaming now. Logical minds prevail. PS: I don’t know how much money Rush’s interest came to, or the total amount of his cash needs, but Vic proves to be sympathetic, and solves the problem without the trauma of facing Sade over a money matter. What a cool dad.

Rumor on the street reaches Fibbers ears, but should he just go out and buy things just to horde them? Molly talks sense to him, and points him in the direction of a more constructive venture, fixing the washing machine. A phone call finds Fibber learning every little thing about Mirt the phone operators sister who’s studying to be a gunner. Forget doing repairs, a stroke of luck sends the McGee’s out to buy a used machine, but first a visit from Teeny. The tiny tot tells about some of her favorite movie starlets. She also wants to know why the president smokes cigarettes from a long black holder. Billy Mills plays, Don’t Get Around Much Any More. A laughing man named Jimmy may have a lead on the woman who ran the ad about her washing machine for sale. Will Abigail Uppington know something about the mystery woman? Molly name drops Lum and Abner while talking to Abigail’s butler. The chase continues, and leads to the home of Harlowe Wilcox, but it isn’t him who answers the door. Its his twin, Paul Wilcox. Will he still manage to squeeze in a pitch for the sponsor? Will Harlowe provide answers from the shower… and stay in character? The crazy neighbors include a visit to the Old Timer’s house. Has he got married to Bessie yet, or is she traveling? In Africa maybe? The Kingsmen sing, I’m an Old Cowhand. The search is narrowing down to the last couple houses. Will the mail girl know where to look? Wallace Wimple knows the mystery lady as someone that his Big Old wife Sweetie Face knows. Will we get to meet the infamous Sweetie Face today? Nope, but Mrs Mouse has finally been caught. Are the Magee’s in time to buy her machine? Note: in 1948 Isabelle Randolph, Mrs Uppington, would be a regular when Lum and Abner begin their half hour shows. She would be Miss Rowena, from London… Ohio, and play Lum’s girl friend.

A Man from the state highway department and a woman from Vienna get some old-world charm from Groucho. Anna is connected to a famous Austrian musician. The right of way man has to explain his job to Groucho. Their topic is classic literature. A dancing teacher and a stevedore are paired together. Groucho discovers the difference between a stevedore and a longshoreman. Groucho swap shop with the teacher. What does he know about tap dancing or ballet? They try to build their money with a topic about animals. An unmarried man is paired with a single woman. Interest is turned from the 46-year-old man to the beauty consultant. What else might Groucho learn about the man from the Sierra Club? After a lesson about flora and fauna, and the birds and bees, Groucho grills them on the topic of state tourist attractions. Who says the secret word? Who will go on to try for the $4000 grand prize? Will George Fenniman have his math skills run through the wringer?

Featuring George Burns and Gracie Allen. After the cast is introduced, and background of their careers are given, the parts are introduced with their prospective actors. A car is driven by George Burns, a man with a lot on his mind. He’s a big business man who is planning a deal over the weekend, and Dulcie is arranging a party for the events to take place. Dulcie is Gracie, and is as dipsy as usual as she greets George at the door. In telling her party plan, and guests, she has invited powerful men of differing political views. Will her party help, or hurt George’s chances at his promotion, and standing with his clients? The Forbes have a daughter who Dulcie is also trying to hook up as a matchmaker, but will her choice of mates lead to more rifts in the high power execs? The surprise guests enter with varying reactions. Dulcie is just an upbeat, perky, and oblivious person who drags all the stodgy characters into her world. She has a way of homing in on the least desired things of her guests, like playing golf or bridge, and forcing her guests to do just those things. Is the fact that they comply a good thing, or are they just humoring her? Can Gordon, George Burns, patch things up with his client? Dulcie’s matchmakeing seems to have worked, and the young couple decide to run away that night and elope. Dulcie is ecstatic over it, but her brother, Willie seems less so, although he cooperates with the plans to keep it secret. He has a thing for the young lady, but does he stand a chance of winning her back? News of the elopement is out, and the Forbes are very upset, threaten to leave, and back out as business clients. Dulcie is in tears over her failure, but help comes from her other house guest, Mr VanDyke. The business shift actually appears to work out better for Gordon, but bad news comes when the Forbes announce a diamond neclace is missing. Gordon parts ways with the Forbes, and looks forward to being his rival. More unsettling news comes when Mr Vandyke turns out to be an escaped ward from a looney bin, not the millionaire that he claimed. Now Gordon faces serious problems with his former client Forbes. It all will have to work itself out in the climactic scenes, right after the commercial break. Next morning we see just how mentally unstable the fake Vandyke is, but also that the man who came for him, a lawyer of the VanDyke business is the real man in charge. As the remaining house guests continue the plan of the day, Dulcie and Gordon talk. They face the reality of being driven out of business, and having to start over without a cent. At least they’ll have each other. Forbes is back to apologize for his behavior, as does Dulcie. The diamonds have been accounted for, but in the process, Dulcie spills the beans about the secret of VanDyke. Forbes thinks it’s all a fancy bluff, and now refuses to let Gordon off his business arrangement. Even the eloped daughter is back, but Forbes is pleasantly surprised and relieved to know that the original intended groom is gon, and Gracie’s brother has ended up the happy groom. A much better result to get on Forbes good side. The happy Forbes even bumps up Gordon’s salary to a nice hefty sum.

Thousands of years in the future, the earth has been demolished by atomic war. People have survived by living underground. Genetic breeding only allow the perfect ones to marry. The others are used for lab experiments. It is forbidden to have any relationship with the inferior race who are often deformed, disabled, or otherwise labeled as having less worth. Until one day one experiment leads a perfect lady to fall in love with him. Together they flee the law, and certain death at the hand of the perfect people. Is the surface still contaminated? Caught between death at the hand of the law, or death at the hand of the elements, the couple in love take their chances on the surface where nobody dares to follow them. Note: Previously posted as X Minus One – hello tomorrow 11/03/1955. This is a little higher quality recording.

Abner’s campaign to run for mayor has had set backs and is looking pretty bleak. He discusses the campaign promises that are stacked against him, and how Lizabeth’s speeches turned against him. When a call for a grocery order comes in, it may be the thing to lift Abners spirits. Lum studies up the next big idea to turn the campaign around. Grandpap enters to brag on how well the other side is doing. Lizabeth is out there campaigning for Abner again, and the fickle womens mind seems to be swaying back in Abner’s favor. Well if that doesn’t beat the bugs a fighting. Lum wonders what caused the change. When Cedric enters, he may have the secret of the new town following.

Or, The Train Porter. In the train station in Chicago, Jack and the gang board the train bound for Los Angeles. Autograph seekers, Rochester the train porter, and the silliness of Kenny Baker. The train pulls out to a swinging tune by the band. Approaching New Mexico, Mary tries to read a poem, but Jack manages to cut her off… mostly. The autograph hunting gals are back, and seeking a little tallent discovery. Will Jack ever figure out how far it is to Albuquerque? Kenny Baker sings, Trust in Me. The train pulls into the town of… Waiting Room… er I mean albuquerque. Kenny buys a tomahawk from a local indian, while Jack and Mary step into a shop for some mocasins. Rolling out once again, the train swings to the travelling music of the band, Swing High Swing Low. Andy Devine and Phil Harris greet the train, and learn about all the classy places the gang went. After a commercial break, Jack and Mary say their goodbyes to the listeners.

King Moses sings an introduction to set the scene at a wedding between guests of Shanon’s Place. Bill and Ruth offer some tips to help move Slade to pop the question to Sailor. The festivities have a damper put on them when one of the hotel guests drops dead. The scene shifts to the tired newlyweds sharing secrets. The happy couple has a trail of murder in their wake. Elsewhere, Shanon and Sailor do right with the law but notice a man following them. A scheme of blackmail crosses their path. Back at the hotel, the cops aren’t done yet. What troubles has Shanon gotten himself into? Slade sets off to do his own investigating. Connections are soon made, and the body count rises. Why are the killings being pinned on Slade? On the run, Slade continues his investigation, while Sailor and King miss their friend. Sailor has her suspicions, but does anyone connect the newlyweds to the crimes? Is it safe to et together and share clues between Slade and Sailor without being followed by the cops? Sailor asks the newlyweds to get word to Slade. But when they talk with Slade, red flags, and guns, are raised. Murder secrets are on the table, and the tale of the dead private eyes emerges. To cover their tracks of the trail of murder, Slade pushes the buttons to turn one killer against the other. In the epilog, Slade and Sailor make wishes on the beach.

Lum has bought up all the brooms he could find. Abner’s wife, Elizabeth has turned out to be quite the motivational speaker to persuade women to vote for him. The brooms are a gimmick to hand out to remind the ladies to support the broom party. Abner is so thrilled, he plans to buy her a battery powered radio to help her pass the time doing farm chores. Lum thinks that’s awful thoughty of him, but advises not to spoil her with such luxuries. Cedric enters to get more brooms to take to Elizabeth. to pass out while giving a speech at a church club. With the election only three days away, there’s not any way for Squire Skimp to steal the woman’s vote away from them, is there.? With the demographic of over 50% women, Lum figures all they need is to carry the female vote to win. When Grandpap approaches, the gents grumble about having to hear him brag on the liberal conservative party. Will the latest campaign promises sway the women away from the broom party?