Geoff Lloyd with Annabel Port

Geoff enjoyed having someone play a guitar at him in the studio, so today he got another guitar-wielding chap along- the very funny Jay Foreman who, ahead of his Edinburgh show, serenades Geoff with, amongst other things, a song about his car that runs on caterpillar sick. Even if you don't drive, you should listen to this.

Geoff is joined in the studio by Billy Bragg to discuss facial hair, and his new album Tooth and Nail. Geoff also tells a story about a horse and a cake, but not at the same time.

Money money money- that's all Geoff ever talks about. Actually that's not true at all, for it is but one of the myriad topics he covers today, others being producer Gareth's barbeque obsession, the reaction to Lord of Tennis Andy Murray, and he even makes a tomb for your embarassing secrets.

Geoff's mum drinks her coffee with five sugars AND two sweeteners, and in honour of her we ask for other condiment stories; they're pretty odd too- sugar in wine, egg and jam, all very odd. And yes, we are aware that sugar isn't technically a condiment, but you know what we mean...

Geoff is joined by erstwhile radio husband Pete Mitchell, who plays a tape he recorded of when he went to the park with Mick Jagger. They got on famously, much like Pete and Geoff in fact.

Not deterred from the idea that most people will be watching the tennis, Geoff soldiers on doggedly and brings you radio gems such as: how the keyboard player from Elbow follows him on Twitter, how Paloma faith is of no interest to his niece, and whether his team are getting enough roughage- and what's it for anyway?

Is it possible to embarrass yourself when nobody's watching? Geoff thinks so. He's also started the new 5:2 diet, so although he's slightly tired, he's looking lean and fit. Not that that helps on the radio particularly though...

Geoff asks the questions that matter- what was your worst first day at work ever, when has a compliment turned into an insult, and what cringy, secret language do you and your partner share? If you're lucky, it'll provide a handy guide to life. If you're not, then it's at least a reminder that your day wasn't so bad after all...

Woah, that's freaky man! What is- hearing Geoff sounding like he's dosed up on LSD? No silly, that's the name of the phone in that we're doing today- freaky, freaky coincidences that have happened to you. It's a bit like the Twilight Zone. It's nothing like the Twilight Zone.

How has pop culture ruined your life? Where's the strangest place you've been propositioned? And what are you really snobby about? It's a veritble cleansing of the soul on the Hometime Show this evening, so roll up your sleeves and delve right in.

Today Geoff discusses groping people by accident, what you have under your desk and what weird stuff people would see you do at home if they put a camera on you. Plus, we hear stories of what's really going on inside the headquarters of companies...

Topics this evening include: Bad zoos, game show secrets, how you could use your job for evil, and being able to guess what Geoff has eaten based on the state of his T-shirt. You can listen to this and never need listen to another radio show again. (That's not a promise).

Geoff is joined by Nev from the TV show Call Centre, and in between takes inspiration from said guest and asks, have you ever lied to get a job? Geoff also reveals his embarassing injury, and they open the Members Register of Broken Hearts.

Geoff, (or Lloydy-pants as he calls himself online) asks you to divulge your innermost secret- the really dark one that nobody knows- specifically, what your online username is!

George, I mean Geoff and Annabel discuss odd people you find next to you in hospital, and bleak weddings, but as always, it makes a lot more sense when you hear it than it does reading this right now. So what are you waiting for? Download the heck out of it and listen!