Read it and Weep
Summary: Read it and Weep is a good podcast about bad books, movies, and TV. Each week 2.5 comedians and a guest make fun of things like Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks, Going Rogue by Sarah Palin, and anything Keanu Reeves has been in.
When the Internet says something is terrible, you'd do well to believe it. Behold, the worst movie the world has ever seen! The Room is a transcendent kind of bad. Past painful bad. Past funny bad. Past forming a cult and watching it at midnight bad. This kind of bad is the elusive none-more-worse bad that we've hunting for since we've started the podcast. In this episode we enter the Actor/Writer/Producer/Director's Studio with genius Tommy Wiseau, we linger over the finer details of The Room's steamy R-rated scenes (pillow fights, melting ice sculptures, and awkward use of rose), and we look at numerous other parts of the movie that have, ahem, ROOM for improvement.
Two! Four! Six! Eight! What's a show we really hate? Hellcats! Hellcats! Gooooooo to Hellcats! After a stirring motivational speech from Alex, we take to the Internet waves ready to become champions. With the podcast championship approaching and our star guest sidelined by an injury, we're forced to make fun of Hellcats a man short. Fortunately we have a promising young townie try out for the position by telling a story about sandwiches and hippies. While we wait for the replacement to be ready, we amuse ourselves by pitting the shallow characters of Hellcats against each other in a thrilling Race to the Bottom and have an emergency, 60-second No-Judgement Joke Off. Hellcats isn't just bad, it's bad for the CW, which is saying something.
MTV airlifted the cast of Jersey Shore to a new home in Miami and our team is there to cover it. Unfortunately, confusion is our most common emotion. Do we love this show or hate it? Are these people awesome or lame? Who smushed Vinnie's bread? To deal with these and other questions, we trade in our usual Hates for Hateliments. Then we play a game called Douche or Not Douche. Finally, we read fan mail about Nazis. Special guest Jace is live in studio and Ezra is reporting live from his new home in *BEEP*.
Our intrepid heroes pack up all their clubbing shirts and their hair gel, and head down to the Jersey Shore. Fortunately for them (since they had to watch 9 hours of it), it turns out to be the good kind of bad. Rather than hating it, they decide to give out awards to the cast of Jersey shore for categories like Douchiest male in a leading role. Best parenting award. The little vocational achiever's award. They also joke off all over each other [Editor's note: Really?][[Other Editor's Note: Yes. This is a great joke.]] and play a game called "Is That A Breakup Worthy Offense?"
Several fans asked to get this song as a separate file and full lyrics. Unlike Space Shark, I live to serve. -Alex (aka MC 'e') ------ Singing / Yelling ----- Space Shark! Space Shark! Space Shark! Space Shark! He's a friend to all and a ruthless killer. Space Shark! He's a sci-fi action comic thriller. Space Shark! NASA tried to shoot him but the missile was a dud. Space Shark! He frolics with space kittens and he thirsts for your blood. Space Shark! Space Shark! Oooo oooo ooo. Space Shark! Space Shark! Oooo oooo ooo. Space Shark! Oooo oooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo. ------ Rap Breakdown ----- What's that up there? Do you see it? Hark! Is it a bird or a plane? No it's motherfucking space shark. telescope, watch him move across the sky He never stops moving otherwise he'll die It's the Space Shark duality, benevolent depravity Flying and killing, without the pull of gravity He lurks around you in your space station He's about to get all up in your international face-tion Nothing can beat his shark mystique In space, it's always motherfucking shark week Bubble helmeted, mustachioed When Space Shark goes out, he's a classy ho If you want to stay out of trouble Don't tap the glass on his helmet bubble Never moon walk after dark. If you can avoid it, don't bleed around Space Shark If you've got to go out, use the buddy system And if you rap don't ever dis him He's your best friend, if you don't provoke If you start some shit, you'll need a bigger space boat Look out above and underneath 'cause there's fish out of water with serrated teeth Tail thrusters and a dorsal fin. Don't arm wrestle with him 'cause of course he'll win! Space Shark!
The finale of Glenn Beck's book has it all- electrocution, nuclear suicides, a Natalie Portman doppelganger... pretty much everything but logic. Episode highlights: Space Shark's theme song! More things Glenn Beck doesn't understand. The writer's workshop with Glenn Beck! Ezra and Stephen's dueling Audible ad! Metaphors lodged in baked goods! And some more!
Another week, another reason to throw Glenn Beck out of an Overton Window. It's not possible for a thriller to be less thrilling or writing to be less well written. We take the middle third of the book down with Hate-o Polo, More Things Glenn Beck Doesn't Understand, and a game called "When God Closes A Door He Opens An Overton Window." Other episode highlights include: Space Shark: friend or foe. Alex wants to get shot in the face with cookie bullets. Get down to some jail funk. Really, really, really don't tease the panther. He's got some serious self-confidence issues. and Alex invents a lady-compass.
Whoa. Thank goodness I found you when I did. The world is out of control. Boys are hitting on girls they're not married to, the tax code is too long to read in a single sitting, and the police are arresting people for getting together with groups of like minded people to drink shitty American beer. Where's the line between fact and fiction in Glenn Beck's alleged thriller, "The Overton Window"? Just like the plot, it's murky. Episode highlights include: Fact + fiction = faction. Jelly + ham = jam. We compile a staggering list of things Glenn Beck doesn't understand. From Turbo Tax to clothing sizes. A special phone call from Admiral Compost And much more! Today's guest is Dru Johnston and he makes very funny videos on the Internet.
Ezra's travels in Italy continue, but he can't fully enjoy them because Twilight and Eat Pray Love references keep popping up. Check out the Edward and Jacob ice cream bars.
Newezra joins us again as we toil through the Julia Roberts shit-vehicle, Eat Pray Love. It's pacing is exactly the same as the book, so the odds are you'll experience movie this way Eat Prsleep Sleep. Other episode highlights include: Alone on an island w/ 400 pirates. Wedding pranks: codemn or allow? Stephen reveals how to tell if something is a donkey or not. Alex reveals a healthy way to lubricate your play time. And so much more!
Even with Ezra off traveling the world, the wheels of comedy keep turning. Newezra does his best to hold down the fort as we Elizabeth Gilbert's book sways back and forth. Finish it! Episode highlights include: Lisa gives TMI about UTIs. Daniel gets the worst Make A Wish ever. Jokes about death and 90s pop culture. Radical acts of positive spin for the democratic party's official dream interpreter. And so much more!
We're back at you with the "Pray" part of Eat, Pray, Love. Each section of the book is worse than the one before it, so we're holding our breath for the last part. Episode highlights include: Another Read it and Weep debate! By special request, many bumpers by Wu-Tang Clan! Introducing Shingles! We joke off on each other! And much more!
We take on Elizabeth Gilbert's triumvirate of boredom, "Eat, Pray, Love." Like Liz, we like to artificially break up our content into 36 different parts. Some of our segments include: The return of No Retreat, No Surrender, this time picking on Elizabeth Gilbert's weight! 30 seconds of no-judgement puns! More censorship from Ezra's version! Mary, boff, kill with Elizabeth Gilbert's multiple personalities! And much more!
We finally give the first three episodes of our show the thrashing they deserve. Complete with compliments and hates, this is the most self reflection we've ever done. Episode highlights include: We almost kill a man with our humor. The origins of us eating on the show (with a clip from our first radio show together!) A series of subtle editing jokes Fuck audiobooks Lots of calls
It turns out 8% of Rotten Tomato critics can be wrong. This is as bad of a movie as we've seen that didn't start with "Twi" and end with "light." Or star the horse faced woman. Or... well, I suppose all the movies we see are pretty bad. But this one is also bad! Episode highlights include: Chris didn't watch the movie but we make him participate anyway. A giant, flying beaver. The whitest character named Ang ever. Lightning bonus round! We spoil the ending for every movie in the last 20 years. And much more!