Hard Factor

Those assholes at Monsanto are paying out lawsuits again, because Round Up which they own likely causes cancer. Not good for a few of the Hard Factor boys who were huge Round Up guys in the 2000s. That and the cigarette abuse, and the genetic history.In the US we've had a string of machete attacks, but in Germany they have had attacks with a non conventional weapon as well. That being the crossbow. Five people ended up dead this past week in Germany via crossbow bolts and I guess that's because the clear fan of GOT was too lazy to figure out how to make wildfire.If you want to find out what's goin on with this story all you have to do is listen to the show.Brought to you by: wethepeopleholsters.com/factor   

Alyssa Milano is calling for a nationwide sex strike from women in response to Georgia passing the “Heartbeat Bill” that essentially bans abortion.A madman has been terrorizing hikers on the the Appalachian Trail for months, being arrested before and released, but his reign of insanity ended in a deadly attack.President Trump is dealing with continued concerns that the trade war with China may end badly, and that much of the country wants him impeached, so lots of new stuff there… Elon is making more 420 jokes on Twitter, a dog makes a deal with a bear to exchange bones for trash in Canada, Amy Schumer makes questionable choices, new “Loquesha” think piece, and BIGTIME TOMMIE.President Trump is dealing with continued concerns that the trade war with China may end badly, and that much of the country wants him impeached, so lots of new stuff there… Elon is making more 420 jokes on Twitter, a dog makes a deal with a bear to exchange bones for trash in Canada, Amy Schumer makes questionable choices, new “Loquesha” think piece, and BIGTIME TOMMIE.

The House Judiciary Committee voted on Wednesday to hold Attorney General Bill Barr in “contempt of congress” because of his choices to first skip his second day of scheduled hearings, where the D's celebrated by eating fried chicken, and then claiming executive privilege as the basis to not turn over the full un-redacted Mueller Report to the committee.Alcohol consumption is on the rise, and if you spent any time in the Hard Factor studio you would see that this is VERY true.  Surprisingly Europe is slightly down, and so is New Zealand.  Asia as a continent is way up and India is leading the charge, up 38%!!We have another hero on our hands.  Kendrick Castillo, who charged the micro-penised shooter at STEM School in CO, gave his life trying to save his fellow classmates.  This is the second time in recent shootings that a student has given their life by rushing the piece of shit who was dead set on killing innocent people.  These guys are heroes, thank you for your service!!!Brought to you by 1800flowers.com Radio Offers --> Enter promo code: HARDFACTOR 

Bet you're thinking twice about that abortion now, huh? Yesterday Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp signed a “fetal heartbeat” bill into law yesterday. The bill seeks to outlaw abortion after about six weeks, aka potentially in some cases one week after a teenager would tell her friends, “I missed my period.” This bill takes effect on Jan. 1, 2020, at which point you can be sentenced to death if you decide you're no longer interested in your pregnancy. Go Dawgs. Waymo, the self driving car company started by Google finally launched their first batch of death self driving vans in Phoenix. The company is starting small, starting with just 10 vans. Also yesterday Lyft announced that is lost 1.1 billion dollars in the first quarter of 2019, a trend that will surely continue as they are hit with countless lawsuits from passengers who drowned in lakes.Hester Jordan Burkhalter, 69 from North Carolina was arrested at Disney World for possession of a CBD tincture. The great-grandmother who uses the cannabis product for horrible arthritis in her legs, arms and shoulder was jailed for 12 hours in and Orange County, FL jail before charges were dropped. This would break Chill Jonathan's heart.Brought to you by 1800flowers.com Radio Offers –> Enter promo code: HARDFACTOR  

On today's episode...The United States is moving ships and sucking tits. If you don't want to end up like a certain dragon then shape it up countries like Iran.Denver is about to change the mother fucking game and legalize shrooms. Pretty sure Phish is going to be playing some extra shows there in 2020. Chinese Pork and Tysons Chicken Having some Issues.... Eat steak and subscribe to Hard Factor.Brought to you by 1800flowers.com Radio Offers --> Enter promo code: HARDFACTOR

AOC's boyfriend got a ton of shit for being overweight and hairy. A French chick even called him a “bin raccoon.” The Hard Factor boys are rattled.TSA claims that they are not interested in your marijuana products in your bags when you travel, but that if they come across them while looking for other hazardous material that they can't turn a blind eye.Maximum Security gets jobbed, Country House and Hard Factor Pat get a gift, AND an old Derby Winner is selling jars of it's shit for $200 a pop.A horrific plane accident in Moscow, Boeing being boeing, and panty bandits in PA. 

Special All Florida Man Episode.Brought to you by 1800flowers.com Radio Offers --> Enter promo code: HARDFACTOR

Bill Barr was grilled by the Senate Judiciary Committee and he did not give a shit.  Just look at that picture.  In fact, he cared so little about being questioned, that he said "I'm not coming back" in regards to appearing again today.  Enjoy the scotch and day off, Bill.A couple frats at Swathmore College in PA are in some hot water and are getting disbanded after their google docs was hacked and the term "Rape Attic" was discovered within the documents.The Impossible Burger, which is a meatless alternative to the traditional beef burger is apparently so good that they are running out of them.  What makes them so good?  Hard Factor Pat may have your answer..Lightening Round:-Scientology cruise quarantined for Measles-UNC Student is a hero-Moby touched Trump with his dick-Someone in TX hates beesBrought to you by 1800flowers.com Radio Offers --> Enter promo code: HARDFACTOR 

 Venezuela finally started that coup they're always taking about. They still have a bonus president, but Operation Freedom is in it's final phase.Trump is tried of immigrants getting into America without paying admission and is hell bent on closing the loopholes in the Asylum process at the US border. Trump announced that he wants to charge fees to those who choose to seek asylum in the US, and will limit the court's time to 180 days to adjudicate all asylum claims (something that can take years now with over 850K backlogged cases), also you wouldn't be eligible to work in the US while you wait for your case to be adjudicated.It's not exactly like it sounds. But way too many people have gotten HIV from a particular spa in New Mexico.  Pro tip, bring your own needles when getting injections from people that don't have medical degrees.   

'Hot" Rod Rosenstein is out as the Deputy Attorney General.  He has resigned effective May 11th and his bosses boss President Donald Trump is probably thrilled since he has asked for treason charges to be considered for the "Hot Rod."  Way to avoid the awkward performance review Rod.Russia is very likely training whales, dolphins and seals to join their navy.  Floating whale mines is pretty fucking genius if you ask us.  Not writing anything else about this one, but you should listen to the full story on the podcast.According to a Korean doctor that is a professor at Oxford for the time being, there are a bunch of invisible aliens that are having sex with us to procreate. Maybe this is why we wake up with morning wood!To get the full scoop on these stories and much much more subscribe and listen to the podcast.

The measles are making a comeback with over 700 cases in the US this year, and President Trump is telling everyone to go get the shot. Are you going to do your duty?Shopping addicts and hoarders rejoice, Amazon will now get you your prime orders for essential oils starter kits and whatever other weird shit you might be into 1 day sooner, starting as early as June.The new “Vox Party” in Spain has a crazy plan for how to bring the country back to greatness, a jack-off in California shot up a Synagogue, the Avengers smashes box office records (and some of our patience), and the Giants put on a show at the NFL draft. 

So not that we didn't know this already, but apparently FAR more Boy Scout leaders are molesting kids, and they don't even sell delicious cookies.Bill Cosby is not happy with the judge that oversaw his case, and now he wants out of jail on bail while he awaits an appeal.  He claims he is not a threat, but until he's dead, he is likely still a threat.And much much more in the lightening round, and in case you don't what the hitchhiker Kai looks like, his pic is below.  Search him on youtube.

The US Supreme Court held oral arguments on Tuesday about whether or not to allow the Trump administration to ask questions about citizenship status on the 2020 US Census… and you wouldn't believe it but, it looks pretty likely that they're going to allow it.  Which at the end of the day really means nothing because only nerds fill out the census and everyone knows if you have the balls to swim across the Rio Grande River while Border Patrol is chasing you, you aren't a nerd and were never going to fill out the census anyway.A golf loving family of four (a foursome) ironically named The Freedman's are facing some serious charges this week after their Masters Golf Tournament scam was uncovered by the Feds.  These evil geniuses have been exploiting the Masters Ticket Lottery for years. Here's the scheme: they would buy bulk snail mailing lists and submit a hundreds of submissions to the ticket lottery associated with dummy email addresses, and if one of their counterfeit entries was lucky enough to hit, they would forge drivers licenses and other documents and reroute the tickets to their address.  MAYBE they were making $10k a year. They're facing 20 years max... Totally worth it.Between 2013 and 2014 Canada shipped 103 shipping containers filled with what they said were "materials for recycling."  For the past six years said containers have been rotting at a port in Manila. It was recently discovered that Canada lied about the contents of the containers, which did not have materials for recycling in them, but rather household garbage. You can guess how the murderous "president" of The Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte took this news -- he wants the trash gone, or WAR with Canada. Excited to see how this plays out.  @HardFactorNews@HardFactorMark@HardFactorPat@HardFactorWes@HardFactorWill  

So stop me if you've heard this before, Social Security is going to run out right before you're old enough to collect. Word on the street is that people are going to be collecting a lot less than 100% of their social security check starting in 2035, but that can change. Baby boomers are good though so don't worry about them.Elon Musk had his space ship blow up, one of his cars spontaneously combust, and his smelly girlfriend Grimes said she feels like she's in "villain mode" and turned into Thanos because of hanging out with him. What the fuck have you done lately.Okay enough of the Florida hand job shop in the news already.  Apparently now there is a video of Bob Kraft getting his front drained that is now on sale to the highest bidder.  We propose that Kraft just lean into this whole thing, buy the video himself and play it over the giant screen at Gillette before the first home game right before they drop the banner.  Blurring of any objects onscreen could be a game time decision.  

Three churches and four hotels were bombed in Sri Lanka on Easter in an apparently religiously motivated attack. There have been counter attacks, and it's a bad situation.A Seton Hall professor wanted to “celebrate” Easter by lighting several Catholic churches on fire… good news for everyone that this man is an absolute moron and didn't get away with his plan. Also, a pastor in Ohio encouraged his 12 year-old Sunday school kids to spit on him and cut him with steak knives to simulate the torture that Jesus Christ endured; and aggressive lesson plan to say the least.69 year-old Larry Mitchell Hopkins has been arrested for leading a militia group on the border, apprehending border crossers they felt were unable to be handled by the Federal authorities. The real star of this story is the mug shot.Cannabis Cup Recap, Michael Avenatti allegedly stole over a million from Hassan Whiteside and his ex-girlfriend, and Ukraine has elected a comedian as their new president.