The Confidence Podcast

Your reflection in the mirror is not always what it looks like - learn to see yourself with the right reflection. Get the full show notes >>> www.trishblackwell.com/136

BEING THE MIRROR EPISODE #011   The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children. –Jessica Lange     THIS PODCAST IS SPONSORED BY BEAUTYCOUNTER.    This podcast is proudly brought to you by BEAUTYCOUNTER, the only personal care company committed information, transparency and performance. Their mission is to get safe products in the hands of everyone and to make legislative change in the regulation of chemicals for cosmetics and personal care products in America. BEAUTYCOUNTER is a company devoted to progress and to putting the truth back in beauty. Not only do I love their products and the positive change using them has made for wellness, but also I am proud to partner with them. Start shopping for your own beautiful BEAUTYCOUNTER products at www.trishblackwell.com/beautycounter. or email me directly at trish@trishblackwell.com and I can personally consult you on what products will be best for you and your family.     YOU ARE THE MIRROR.   My baby has discovered mirrors. She’s mesmerized with her own reflection. There’s something about a mirror that gives us the ability to physically see ourselves in a way that we couldn’t before.   It’s gotten me thinking about mirrors and the role of them in our lives as women and as mothers.   You are the mirror reflection your child sees. How you see yourself is how they will learn to see themselves. How you act and how you treat others – including how you treat yourself – is how they will learn to treat others and how to act. How you see and experience the world is how they will … these are all deep truths that we instill within our children without words.   Are the being the mirror you want for your child to see? Does the way you see the world – and the beauty of life itself – really reflect joy, love, happiness and potential in a way that you would want for your child?   Children are the mirror for our internal work as parents. Some thoughts on mirror science … also known as “mirror neurons”: A recent research on mirror neurons has discovered that when we watch someone doing something, the same neurons that fire in their brain also fire in our brain. By watching them, we end up thinking and feeling the same thing they feel by doing. Scientists believe that the mirror neuron system is not only responsible for the acquisition of language and motor skill but also for how we acquire social skills and our ability to empathize with others.   Ok, but in addition to how we are teaching our children through mirror neurons, it’s important to talk about something more pressing in our daily lives…and that is our relationship with mirrors themselves. …   TO BE AN EFFECTIVE MIRROR PHYSICALLY YOU MIGHT NEED TO WORK FIRST ON HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR.   Know that you can learn to love your body.   Negative body image is a type of disordered thinking and it’s one that there are tools for to combat and overcome. Do not resign yourself to thinking that you’re always going to feel unhappy or unsatisfied with yourself physically – choose to engage your mind and to train your thoughts.   Speak words of life to yourself and stop being so stinking mean.   We are our own worst critics, and when it comes to mirror images, we moms can we the worst, to the point that we are actually meaner than the meanest bully. Learn to THANK your body for being your body – it is your vehicle for life and it is something you must honor,

Leadership is influence and we each have an inner leader to develop so that we can have influence that matters and helps others with our lives. Get the full show notes >>> www.trishblackwell.com/135

  RAISING A CONFIDENT THINKER EPISODE #010   “Birth takes a woman’s deepest fears about herself and show her that she is stronger than them.” ~ Author Unknown         SPONORSHIP NOTE:   This podcast is proudly brought to you by BEAUTYCOUNTER, the only personal care company committed information first, product second, transparency and performance. Their mission is to get safe products in the hands of everyone, because we all deserve better. BEAUTYCOUNTER is a company devoted to progress and to putting the truth back in beauty. Not only do I love their products and the positive change using them has made for wellness, but also I am proud to partner with them. Find out more about BEAUTYCOUNTER at www.trishblackwell.com/beautycounter.       LET’S GET INTO THE CONFIDENT CONTENT:   Why do we want to raise confident thinkers? Because a confident thinker will always have natural self-confidence in life, and with confidence, you can conquer anything that comes your way. Confident thinkers tend to be better leaders, more creative, more willing to step outside of their comfort zones and to have more self-efficacy. Confident thinkers tend to be optimistic and tend to walk through life with confidence that things will work out…in short, confident thinkers are happy thinkers.   Even though I have admittedly struggled with my fair share of insecurities, I can confidently say that my parents raised both me and my brother to be confident thinkers. In preparation for this topic, I thought about what it was that made us become that way – what exactly was it that my parents did – and here is what I have concluded:   Curiosity reigns.   Teach our children to be intellectually and emotionally curious. Curiosity promotes creativity, creativity births confidence and confidence gives us the freedom to be our true selves.   Books are imperative.   Readers are leaders, and for your child to have confidence to navigate the social world, they need to be intellectually challenged and stimulated. There is no better way to encourage reading than for you to set the example yourself.   Dreaming is encouraged.   Keep an open dialogue about your child’s dreams – encourage them that they can do and achieve anything they set their mind to. Expose them to stories of triumph and of seemingly impossible dreams and goals being achieved. Additionally – lead by example, share your dreams with your kids…let them know that dreaming never stops. Dreaming is a life-time endeavor.   Exploration is necessary.   Confident thinkers know that they have the freedom to explore – or try something out – without fear of failing or without fear of having to re-route. They understand that changing direction is simply part of exploration. Exploration empowers us to learn how to enjoy the journey rather than to focus on the destination.   Creativity is nurtured.   Your child doesn’t need to be “creative” in order for their creativity to shine. We are all created with a need for creative expression … some express it differently from others, and it is our job as parents to encourage creative expression and exploration of any type. Knowing that they have the freedom to be creative – and that you will support them in that creativity – will take their creativity to unprecedented levels.  

Sarcasm is one of the most negative go-to defense mechanisms of communication. Squash the cynicalness of sarcasm with these 4 steps. #podcast Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/134

THE SUPERMOM SYNDROME EPISODE #009: ­­   The joy in motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction. –M. Russle Ballard     SPONSORSHIP NOTE:   This podcast is proudly brought to you by BEAUTYCOUNTER, the only personal care company committed information first, product second, transparency and performance. Their mission is to get safe products in the hands of everyone, because we all deserve better. BEAUTYCOUNTER is a company devoted to progress and to putting the truth back in beauty. Not only do I love their products and the positive change using them has made for wellness, but also I am proud to partner with them. Find out more about BEAUTYCOUNTER and start shopping at www.trishblackwell.com/beautycounter.         OK, LET’S GET INTO THE CONFIDENT CONTENT:     WHAT IS IT?   Supermom syndrome is the idea that you can be the do-it-all-all-the-time-and-look-effortless-while-you-do-it.   It is a lie many women have believed is the standard. It is a societal pressure to pretend that you aren’t tired, you aren’t overwhelmed and that you don’t need help from anyone to flawlessly manage your family’s life and wellbeing.   THE DANGER OF IT?   The danger is that is a façade – a façade that takes a lot of effort and diligence to maintain. It is a mindset and approach to life that removes us from being able to be our authentic selves.   It makes us feel like we are inadequate as mothers unless we are doing – doing – doing. It is a performance-based / achievement oriented approach to life…and one that can be toxically destructive to our hearts and our overall wellbeing and happiness. A mom who prescribes to the supermom syndrome is a mom who fears that if everything isn’t perfect then her worth as a mother will diminish. Do not believe the perfectionistic thinking life of supermom syndrome. There is no such thing as a perfect mom and therefore we should never strive to achieve that undefined, and unachievable standard.   Additionally, the supermom syndrome is lonely. It is based in the belief that life is entirely under your control and that everything is up to you. It isolates us and cheapens the quality of the relationships that we do have in our lives.   THE TRUTH?   The truth is that we are all supermoms. There is no reason to buy into the syndrome that we need to perform, perform, perform to achieve this status, a status we already have.   If you want deep relationships with others, let them into your life. Show your vulnerable, messy side. Have them over for coffee without straightening the pillows on your couch or worrying about the unswept kitchen floor or food caked onto the very visibly placed high chair.  Don’t fall for worrying about what another mom might think of you – like I did just this past week. (Walk story / baby play date with new mom friend, Ellie dropped her cracker on the ground…my reaction and my truth telling afterwards…about wanting her to think that I’m a good mom.)       5 WAYS TO STOP BUYING INTO THE SUPERMOM SYNDROME LIE:   Redefine your idea of what being a supermom means. (Know that you, by just being you, are super, and that makes you a super mom.)   Resist the desire to compare parenting styles. (You were chosen to be the mom of your children for a reason, meaning that you are well-equipped for your kids, not for others, so comparing parenting styles is not only ridiculous, it is an absolute waste of time.  

Thriving through change is possible - author Kristen Strong shares with us how to "make friends" with changes of all types in our lives. #podcast Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/133

  OVERCOMING OVER-SCHEDULING EPISODE #008:     Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. –Robert A. Heinlein       WHAT ARE THE DANGERS AND SIDE-EFECTS OF OVER-SCHEDULING?   Mental stress and pervasive anxiety Lasting feelings of fatigue and being worn down Feeling always just a little bit behind and never good enough Hyper-focus on performance versus being present and alive Health and metabolic disruption caused by stress eating or unhealthy eating Insufficient and interrupted sleep Disconnected – and rushed – relationships Diminished quality time with family and friends Living for the weekend but feeling like they fly by Feeling overwhelmed with life and pressured to do more   "Parents need to teach their kids to balance human doing with human being, kids need to know they're not defined by what they do, she said. They need time to play, experiment, rest and figure out who they are." -clinical psychologist Paula Bloom.     "As parents, we've got to get over our anxiety that we're not doing enough. Creating a sense of safety, helping kids have confidence to try certain things, those are the things that matter." – Paula Bloom   Ivin Rosenfeld, M.D., a child psychiatrist and author of The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap, believes that enrolling children – and ourselves – in too many activities is a nationwide problem. “Overscheduling our children is not only a widespread phenomenon, it’s how we parent today. Parent feel remiss that they’re not being good parents if their kids aren’t in all kinds of activities. Children are under pressure to achieve, to be competitive.”     WAYS TO RECLAIM YOUR DAY:   Focus on “enjoying” the day, not “doing” the day. Have a to-do list, but keep it small. Build in “white time” Learn how to say “no” Never let guilt be your motivator Take more recess – make moving your body the cornerstone of your wellness Prioritize creativity for yourself – and for your kids Use Sundays to map out your next week Polish your next-day priorities before going to bed at night     HOW YOU LIVE IS HOW YOUR CHILDREN WILL LEARN TO LIVE.  YOUR EXAMPLE MATTERS.     Consider the example you are setting for your children. Do you want them to live an overscheduled life? What message are you currently passing down to them and is it the message you want them to hear? As parents we have the unique opportunity to demonstrate a lifestyle and attitude towards life to our children – what we show them is what will come most naturally to them in the future. How do you wish for your child to experience the world as an adult? Stressed out and always trying to accomplish something and prove something, or fully engaged in enjoying life and pursuing creative excellence in all they do?     A poll by HealthAmerica from 2006 revealed that out of 882 children, 41 percent between the ages of 9 and 13 felt stressed all of the time or most of the time, because they have too much to do. Of those same children surveyed, 78 percent wished they had more free time.                

Podcast episode that dives into the power of perspective and how the best way for us to change others is to not try. Instead we must change ourselves. >>> Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/132

Stop letting your loud nagging inadequacies have any more right to be in your life. There is a way to live free from the fear of not being enough. >>> Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/131

HOW TO HANDLE THE SUPER-MOM  There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. ~ Jill Churchill   SPONSORSHIP NOTE: This podcast is proudly brought to you by BEAUTYCOUNTER, the only personal care company committed information first, product second, transparency and performance. Their mission is to get safe products in the hands of everyone, because we all deserve better. BEAUTYCOUNTER is a company devoted to progress and to putting the truth back in beauty. Not only do I love their products and the positive change using them has made for wellness, but also I am proud to partner with them. Find out more about BEAUTYCOUNTER at www.trishblackwell.com/beautycounter.         LET’S GET INTO THE CONFIDENT CONTENT:   Comparison is the thief of joy. –Teddy Roosevelt   This episode isn’t just about the supermom – or what I like to refer to as supermom syndrome – we’re actually going to devote an entire episode to that topic alone. What we are talking about today is the disease of comparison.     WHY DO WE COMPARE OURSELVES SO MUCH?    We engage in comparison because we are approaching life from a fundamentally flawed viewpoint: that we are in competition with others and that we must use them to measure and evaluate ourselves. Our connection to the cult of comparison is fed by our belief that our value is based on what we do, not who we are.   Comparison is the by-product of criticism and self-judgment. Desperate to know we are enough, we judge ourselves and assess our value based off of how we see others are doing. Sometimes this leaves us feeling less than, other times we feel elevated and more than. Either outcome is dangerous. THREE WAYS TO OVERCOME COMPARISON:    1. Change your belief system.   You must train your thoughts to know that your value as a human being does not lie in what you have accomplished, in the number on the scale, in your success at the office or in the size of your car or house. Your value is in who you are; in who God created you to be. It has nothing to do with performance and everything to do with character.   This is a major mental overall – an entire cognitive reconstruction – and it will take time. Work to change your belief system by   Deciding that your current value-system is flawed and you want to change it Meditating on the statement that you are enough because of who you are, not what you do Journaling and writing about this concept, what it has meant to you in the past and what it will mean to you in the future; write about what kind of freedom this new belief system might bring you Pray and talk to God, asking Him to overhaul the flawed thinking of your mind and asking Him to empower you to see yourself and your value from His eyes.   2. Actively pursue celebrating others     When we learn to celebrate and sincerely admire others, rather than looking to others as measuring markers, we can start to find freedom from the dangerously toxic cycle of self-judgment we put ourselves under.   Do this by:   Being the first to say hello Being the friendliest and most generous neighbor on the block Being affirming and complimentary to others Being sincere in acknowledging someone else’s success Being actually interested (yes, actually listening) to what someone else is really saying Being involved in the lives of others in a way that builds them up and supports them Being confident in being yourself because you are the only you created…therefore, there is no need to compare or measure yourself…the...

7 FAQS TO CONFIDENTLY ANSWER MY DAUGHTER’S QUESTIONS   Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. –Howard W. Hunter         SPONSORSHIP NOTE:   This podcast is proudly brought to you by BEAUTYCOUNTER, the only personal care company committed information first, product second, transparency and performance. Their mission is to get safe products in the hands of everyone, because we all deserve better. BEAUTYCOUNTER is a company devoted to progress and to putting the truth back in beauty. Not only do I love their products and the positive change using them has made for wellness, but also I am proud to partner with them. Find out more about BEAUTYCOUNTER at www.trishblackwell.com/beautycounter.     CELEBRATION GIVEAWAY!!!!   THE GIVEAWAY DETAILS!     Steps to enter:   Search for “The Confident Mom” Podcast in iTunes Subscribe to the show Post an honest review and use the tagline #confidentmom at the end of your review Make sure to listen to both podcast shows for the next 4 weeks and I will be randomly choosing winners! There will be three winners, one for each week of the new show who receive FREE access to my Emerge Program [!!!!!} If by November 1st the new show receives over 100 reviews, a major winner will receive access to Emerge AND a beautiful Beautycounter gift of my go-to skin care love, Beautycounter Essentials Face Collection…the collection that is making my skin look radiant, clean and youthful. If you hear your name announced on the show email me at trish {at} trishblackwell.com so I can contact you with your prize.       LET’S GET INTO THE CONFIDENT CONTENT:   Okay, I tricked you. Ellie can’t talk yet, but these are her anticipated questions. As you heard in episode #5, I am really jamming out on a new area of wellness for my life and for my family that I never anticipated I would care about before.     7 FAQS FOR MY DAUGHTER ABOUT CHEMICALS AND THE ENVIRONMENT   I am a right-brained person. I love words, I love literature and I love anything creative. I understand math and science, because, well, my mom raised me to be a good student, but I like to forget as much of it as I can unless it is absolutely necessary. My mind simply doesn’t like to dwell on or think about anything that ends in –ology, which contributes to the explanation of my previous lack of involvement in activism for natural wellness. The phrase natural wellness itself bores me and makes me want to run away. Because I value being a good citizen, I have always cared about the environment and about the biology of the eco-system, but, my care never translated to action. I avoided conversations about organic choices, dug in my heels of ignorance about global climate change and certainly wrote off activism of any type, that is, until I realized just how much it all actually did relate to me. Previously my brain had been lost in translation, but as a result of one powerful documentary and one well written book, I was compelled into change…not because I hadn’t cared before, but because I finally understood the implications of what all of that left-brain talk really meant for me, a right-brain girl just trying to be a good wife, a good mom and a good motivator for my community to be physically healthy.   A personal trainer by trade, health and well-being is of the utmost importance to me…but I never wanted to take it to the next level – and I mean the natural level – before, until now.   To help me make the left-brain to right-brain transition, I had to break down the big,

There is more to us - our lives and our potential - than we can see. This podcast episode dives into how to see what can't be seen and have faith as we go. >>> Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/130

MAKING BETTER DECISIONS AROUND THE HOUSE EPISODE #005   The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children. –Jessica Lange               LET’S GET INTO THE CONFIDENT CONTENT:   I’m not interested in what you do, I’m interested in who you are.   What we do does not define us; it is certainly a part of our identities, but it is not who we are.   This is a concept that as a 32 year-old I am currently working proactively to master and make a reality in my life – it inspires me to find a way to speak differently into the life of my child. My parents spoke into me what was spoken into them – words of affirmation about what I accomplished. They loved me unconditionally, that is without a doubt, but somewhere along the line I taught myself to want to live to impress them.     HOW TO SPEAK TO YOUR CHILD’S CHARACTER:   Affirm their worth in the small acts of daily life - dig deeper than just simply acknowledging that they've done a kind act or exhibited love to someone...seek to identify and recognize what deeper quality of the heart they are displaying that motivated them to said act of kindness. Teach them to live for significance over success Speak to their character as often as possible - they are inundated with messages of performance and achievement everywhere they go, so the more we as parents can pour into them, the better equipped they will be to know that they are valued and loved for who they are, not for what they do.     BE A CONFIDENT MOM IN YOUR BOD:   Get instant access to your own copy of my free eBook, The 77 Secrets of Hot Moms at www.trishblackwell.com/77 and find out exactly how I lost all of my baby weight in eight weeks, as well as other secrets I have compiled from hot and confident moms I have worked with over the past ten years. Get your copy now at www.trishblackwell.com/77     ANNOUNCEMENTS:   Want more confidence and inspiration in your life? Make sure you come like my Facebook Fan page at facebook.com/trishblackwellfitness and go check out my other top-ranked podcast show, Confidence on the Go at www.trishblackwell.com/podcasts Tell someone else about this show! Excited about this new show? Help me know that by writing a review in iTunes. I promise I personally read each review and that reviews are like little love letters to me.     Now go out there and be more of who you are, be you, be free, be the confident mom that you are meant to be.  

INVESTING IN OUR KIDS FOR WHO THEY ARE, NOT FOR WHAT THEY DO EPISODE #004   Motherhood is a great honor and privilege, yet it is almost synonymous with servant hood. Every day women are called upon to selflessly meet the needs of their families. Whether they are awake at night nursing a baby, spending their time and money on less-than-grateful teenagers, or preparing meals, moms continuously put others before themselves. –Charles Stanley           LET’S GET INTO THE CONFIDENT CONTENT:   I’m not interested in what you do, I’m interested in who you are.   What we do does not define us; it is certainly a part of our identities, but it is not who we are.   This is a concept that as a 32 year-old I am currently working proactively to master and make a reality in my life – it inspires me to find a way to speak differently into the life of my child. My parents spoke into me what was spoken into them – words of affirmation about what I accomplished. They loved me unconditionally, that is without a doubt, but somewhere along the line I taught myself to want to live to impress them.     HOW TO SPEAK TO YOUR CHILD’S CHARACTER:   Affirm their worth in the small acts of daily life - dig deeper than just simply acknowledging that they've done a kind act or exhibited love to someone...seek to identify and recognize what deeper quality of the heart they are displaying that motivated them to said act of kindness. Teach them to live for significance over success Speak to their character as often as possible - they are inundated with messages of performance and achievement everywhere they go, so the more we as parents can pour into them, the better equipped they will be to know that they are valued and loved for who they are, not for what they do.     BE A CONFIDENT MOM IN YOUR BOD:   Get instant access to your own copy of my free eBook, The 77 Secrets of Hot Moms at www.trishblackwell.com/77 and find out exactly how I lost all of my baby weight in eight weeks, as well as other secrets I have compiled from hot and confident moms I have worked with over the past ten years. Get your copy now at www.trishblackwell.com/77     ANNOUNCEMENTS:   Want more confidence and inspiration in your life? Make sure you come like my Facebook Fan page at facebook.com/trishblackwellfitness and go check out my other top-ranked podcast show, Confidence on the Go at www.trishblackwell.com/podcasts Tell someone else about this show! Excited about this new show? Help me know that by writing a review in iTunes. I promise I personally read each review and that reviews are like little love letters to me.     Now go out there and be more of who you are, be you, be free, be the confident mom that you are meant to be.