Be There in Five

Kate recaps fashion at the Met Gala and tells no less than a million stories while trying to get through each person's dress she wanted to discuss. She then vents about school dance updo's, reviews the things she thought were facts that she found out as an adult she made up, then discusses important life lessons from It Takes Two and Holiday in the Sun, and concludes with some musings from her days at an extreme church camp, which she only attended because she wanted to learn how to water ski.

Who knows what's in this episode, listen or don't, see if I care? (I'm trying that thing where you don't look like you're trying too hard and it makes people more interested in you)

This week, we discuss how I don't do verbs, city vs. 'burbs, California teens, Real Housewife trivia dreams, gender reveal vids, thoughts on wanting kids, Facebook makes me feel my life is out of order, does your Craftsman home's laundry room accept quarters?

A lighthearted (yet irrelevant) title for what has been a krazy week for those of us that Keep up with the Kardashians. And, if you Keep up with Kate, she's also having bit of a week, and is still so behind she didn't have time to write a description or have this kast professionally edited. Officially changing the tagline to 'I'll Be There in Five Days, I swear!'

This week, Kate had other plans, but right before recording, was sent a 'weird' message by an internet stranger. This prompted a more dark and brooding intro this week, thanks to the musical stylings of the lesser-known singles off of one of the late '90s most acclaimed albums made by a band with a member still in elementary school. We take a journey through some of Middle of Nowhere's most important songs, address an unsolved mystery in Tulsa, Oklahoma, then take a sharp turn into discussing LifeTouch school picture day, the joy of Yearbook typos, and Kate's general bitterness toward people that wore Peace Frog shirts in the front of the class picture while tall people wearing fierce corduroy overalls get shoved to the back. Then we follow up with her prediction about Channing & Jenna's breakup and discuss her favorite current internet blind item celebrity gossip stories that are worth a deeper dive, only to then accidentally go back in time for a brief SBTB / Nickelodeon discussion, but then Kate remembers she's boycotting Nickelodeon, and moves onto discuss her frustration with common backhanded compliments. She forgets what she talks about next, probably how The Keepers destroyed her faith in humanity and/or how she's really actively seeking a chocolate milk sponsor for the podcast. Another week, another tangent, another 45 minutes of a person shamelessly laughing at their own jokes.

We've familiarized ourselves with All or Nothing, All Saints, and now we move onto one of Kate's other favorites of 'All' time; All-4-One. From there we discuss the fine line of romance being gross or endearing depending on how into the person the recipient is, then a sharp turn to reminisce on none other than the prank that was WhiteHouse.com during the era where we coincidentally were searching for US Civics answers. Then some ramblings about the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack, my misunderstanding of most of the Jagged Little Pill lyrics, and move onto a more serious topic, can chivalry exist in a feminist era? From there Kate takes a stab at some vocal tricks on her recording software, only to immediately regret it and liken it to using a Yak Bak, which brings her (obviously) to the conspiracy of breakfast not really being the most important meal of the day. Then we move onto favorite Destiny's Child anthems, some unsolicited advice for Willa Ford and Blu Cantrell, my hopes for the next season of RHONY and an argument in defense of Ramona Singer. Finally, we almost kind of end but then she feels called to explain why Elsa is a bad role model and why Mulan should get more credit. Finally, we actually do end with Kate's thoughts on how being a bride isn't a free pass to be a jerk, some light reminiscing of how '90s R&B made for a meaningful first dance, and then a brief discussion of how DARE scared Kate from doing anything in fear she'd end up looking like the stoner clip art used on the drug education PowerPoint. All-4-One and one-4-all these topics that have absolutely nothing to do with one another.

This week, Kate mostly talks for too long about a topic that she knows an embarrassing amount of information about; the speculation surrounding the friendship and/or feud of Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss. However, before and after, she talks about other stuff too, including an analysis of the mansplaining that takes place in City High's "What Would You Do," reviewing her favorite punny business names, her first foray into philanthropy via Chicken Soup for the Soul books, some brief This Is Us and Gilmore Girls discussion (because Milo Ventimiglia). But not before a farewell to her youth realized during St. Patrick's Day, a related a case against curdling, some thoughts on British X Factor contestants, Polly Pocket, one more complaint about the Les Mis remake, her issues with Jeopardy outfits and anecdotes, and an homage to one of her favorite 90s R&B groups that shares a name with an overrated retailer.

In this week's episode, Kate invites you to take an inadvertently lengthy journey throughout a podcast that starts with some of her favorite pump up music, then shifts to discussions of the Parent Trap, the problem with food-based innuendo in popular music, why she can't play music herself, an offering of what Becca could have said to Arie, then in honor of IWD, an exploration of Teen Talk Barbie's role in holding back the feminist agenda. Then we move onto how Kate feels very unsure how she should say Ibiza and Le Pain Quotidian in casual conversation, how alcoholic beverages always taste like the worst time she had drinking them, her strong dislike for anyone who's a 'shots guy,' then circling back to end with her favorite songs that do the opposite of pump you up, going through her favorite songs about sad things, tragedies, etc. when you really want to kill the vibe. In a good way. We then end on an unexpected plug for Pit Bull's music despite a frustration with "we've only got tonight!" messaging that encourages a very rough tomorrow. **Apologies for some inconsistencies in sound quality, did not have access to professional editing this week**

This week, in a somewhat evergreen episode, Kate manages to find nearly 40 minutes worth of tangents in the process of telling one single story about the boy band LFO's relationship to another boy band, O-Town. Within this story, she explores Meghan & Harry pretending to have a lack of awareness of each other's public personas, the perils of trying to subtly online stalk people you date, her favorite game when trolling friends' dating apps she likes to call, 'poorly dressed, or theme party?,' a brief PSA about sociopaths, BSB vs. 'Nsync, the rollercoaster of emotions she experienced on AOL Instant Messenger as a teen that as an adult she can identify as extreme anxiety, some Oscars commentary, an accidental detour that somehow starts at Ashlee Simpson and ends up at Justin Bobby, an eventual conclusion of where APA's career ended up after taking a major risk, and an unexpected serious exploration of such risks, their relationship to our personal satisfaction, and how we should consider revising our metrics of success. Much like she's now revising her metrics of success as it relates to anyone now listening to this episode.

In this episode, Kate examines the parallels between her pre-teen life and Aaron's Party (Come Get It), also asking, which is worse? The gap between Kate's teeth at the time or the current gap we're experiencing between Carrie Underwood's story and the truth of her mysterious facial injury? Other important topics discussed such as why it's so easy to be a 'good guy,' what's up with Jenna & Channing Tatum's marriage, what's up with everyone else's marriage that gushes excessively on Facebook, a biased and incomprehensive view of country music, why you should never ask someone what kind of music they like, then accidentally veering into Ashley I, Married to Jonas, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Vanderpump Rules, and who knows what else she talked about, she can hardly listen to the tangents. And by she, she means I, because I am writing this in the third person to impress you.

This week Kate discusses a myriad of pressing topics, such as her and Jen Aniston against the world, her take on Fergie's sexy Star Spangled Banner, concern for what has happened to Katy Perry and Fergie's music, a brief review of Perrie Edwards and Gigi Hadid's feud over arguably the least desirable former One Direction member, her confusion in translating popular hyperboles into legitimate feedback, and how Queen Elizabeth's Twilight birth is indeed the exact opposite of Bella Swan's Twilight birth. 

Better late than never, Kate discusses the battle of the Sex & the City stars, why SATC3 would have been bad anyway, implications of poor movie karaoke scenes, a brief overview of the 2002 fine film Crossroads, an exploration of who is more high maintenance- SJP's son James Wilkie or Kate's dog Tugboat? Kate also attempts to justify watching TV through explaining the life lessons she learned from The Real World and Disney Channel Original Movies.

About Be There in Five's Podcast: As a person that often texts their friends "Be There in Five" when she just got out of the shower, Kate Kennedy (entrepreneur, self-proclaimed millenni-old, and unofficial pop culture reporter) started a company that aimed to solve a major problem of likeminded people running out the door; wondering if they left their curling iron or straightener on. Concerned for the fire safety of her unpunctual peers, Kate founded her company Be There in Five, whose claim to fame is their proprietary 'remindoormats.' Now, 4 years and thousands of doormats later, the only thing left burning is Kate's desire to share her thoughts on pop culture, TV, celeb gossip, and the '90s zeitgeist, topics which she has become well-known for ranting about on Instagram. Join her while she podcasts her way through the lonely days of self-employment, chatting about things that she says, quote "are delightfully unimportant."