cortandfatboy » Podcast

David Walker came the show toting 10 gallon buckets of salt, and he cannot WAIT to sprinkle it on anything you might like. Ever. The sodium must be getting to Bobby's brain, because he forgets pretty much everything he ever knew. Frequently. Cort somehow comes off like the optimist on today's very heavily pop-culture-centric episode, which means this has gotta be one of the rarest episodes of this show you'll ever hear, as you traipse down a free-floating, free-associating discussion on film and television that includes The Walking Dead, Die Hard With a Vengeance, Jaleel White, Midnight Run, Eddie Murphy, The Justice League, what would have made Cast Away a better movie, and how David Walker plans on making a movie with 1/10th the budget of Alex Cross that is 10x as good as Alex Cross, starring Kadeem Hardison and Ted Lange. Download audio file (10232012.mp3)

Ryan Fleming surfs a wave of frustration that beaches on the opening of today's show, a frustration named "People in parking lots who sit there with their foot on the brake in reverse but never pull out." From there, we discuss lesser stupidities, such as Tim Tebow trademarking the act of post-touchdown prayer, and Lance Armstrong pursuing a future in Texas politics. One of the best marketing campaigns in awhile is unleashed upon unsuspecting soft-drink patrons, and an old dude at CBS marvels at how embarrassed some of us are that we don't own the brandest-newest bit of technology that is still basically just magic to him. Also discussed - why the latest Bond game is probably the worst game of the year, why Assassin's Creed might be the first GOOD video game movie ever, and the best hip-hop song of the 90s. Download audio file (10222012.mp3)

Erik Henriksen fills in for Mike Russell, and after an extended discussion on his vegetarianism, and the amazing human achievement that is Tofurkey, we get into some Sci-Fi stuff: Cloned meats, the Star Trek future that's been long denied us, the unbelievable, unmitigated chutzpah of Bobby to dare try correcting Science Wizard Neil DeGrasse Tyson, why Deep Space Nine is a superior show to The Next Generation, why Stargate is fun even when it shouldn't be, and a hastily assembled hierarchy of Sci-Fi television history that key members of our audience are DEFINITELY going to disagree with. Erik then peels back the curtain of schlockmasters The Asylum, who make movies EXACTLY the way you thought they did, before closing with a quick discussion on why Hitchcock is worth an all day marathon. Download audio file (10192012.mp3)

ONE DAY ONLY: BIG JIM WILLIG AND DON FROST RETURN. Mere hours before the first ever Big and Loud Live Podcast, our former Thursday guest tells tales of life on the front lines of Call Center Hell, and his misery involves a really big Biggie Smalls fan with a really small bluetooth problem. We slide sideways for a quick fashion and insensitivity minute with Mr. Willig, before Don Frost shares his own stories of Adventures in the Public sector, and not only will you learn precisely why Circuit City crashed and burned, but you'll understand why B for Boo Boo is the obvious sequel to V for Vendetta, and why - no matter what happens in the rest of your life - the phrase "Remember This" will always be tied to this show. Download audio file (10182012.mp3)

The show is thick with electric worry. It doesn't seem that way at first, as Cort and Bobby muse upon the majesty of Michael Rooker while Courtenay Hameister of Live Wire Radio learns a few things about desire, but then its her turn to teach them about serious life skills in the organizational realm, and how everything can be managed, even the amount of time you worry in a day. And its at this point that Cort's worries come alive, and the battle of glowing neuroses between Cort & Courtenay look like a lightsaber battle. From there, we discuss the gentle art of forgiveness, and the not so gentle art of unmasking the world's most infamous troll. Download audio file (10172012.mp3)

David Walker has opinions, you guys. Lots of them. Some of them good, some of them bad. Not as bad as Bobby's, who, it turns out, is entirely responsible for every bad sequel/prequel that ever existed in the history of ever. Today's episode explores the allure of horror as a genre, and explains why people keep going back to the well even though the chances of finding something good in there seem to get lower and lower. It's kind of like the lottery, or gambling, a topic that also gets brought up, as David explains why our country's puritanical sensibilities are still strong in our national fabric, even if everyone you know is familiar with stuff like Goatse & 2 Girls 1 Cup. Why do we still freak out at nip slips and sideboob? Why do we waste cash on lottery tickets? Why do people think ANYONE wants to know how Leatherface got that way? Important questions answered in today's show. Download audio file (10162012.mp3)

Yeah, we asked Jefferson Smith about hitting a girl in the face in 1993. Yeah, we asked about the decisionmaking that led to him and a friend trying to approach that girl over 20 years later as the news was about to break the story. Yeah, we asked about the timing of this story, and why news organizations waited til this October to tell a story they've known about for a year. Yeah, we asked why he didn't just own it and tell it himself without waiting for the press to serve it up on a platter. Yeah, we asked about his garbage driving record, and whether or not he should ever drive again. And then we asked how it's affecting him and his family, whether this will put him off politics forever, and what he has to do in the last 22 days of this campaign to get people to focus less on what a jerk he was in college, and more on what needs to happen so that Portland becomes a better place to live. Download audio file (10152012.mp3)

Ryan McCluskey is in the house, everybody, with his main man Mike Russell, to tell tales of the British Theatre, and how Stellan Skarsgaard and Jonathan Pryce perpetrated one of the all-time classic pranks on him. He also saw whatever that new Ethan Hawke movie is, which launched us on a conversation about horror convention that apparently is way more interesting than whatever that new Ethan Hawke movie is. Also discussed: The mystifying decision not to put the real ending of Doctor Who's most recent episode IN the episode, the trouble behind the Kickstarter for The Goon, and how Ben Affleck is one of the best point guards in Hollywood right now. BONUS: More Chatum & Jogolev love, now with Adam Scott warm fuzzies! Download audio file (10122012.mp3)

Leia Weathington and Erika Moen are Smut Peddlers. Or at least, they're comics creators who have contributed a 7 page opus de smut to an independent tome of lady-centric comics pornography. What the hell does any of that even mean? It's so much better to hear them tell it, as well as the story of how they came to be collaborators, and what it's like to work at Periscope Studios, apparently an oasis of sanity and awesomeosity in an industry not so much known for either things. Erika also breaks down the inspired question from Jeff Parker at the heart of her collaboration with him, "Bucko," and since we're discussing the art of titillation, it only makes sense that Paul Ryan's pictures come up for discussion. BONUS: Leia and Bobby slapfight each other over fashion and mispronunciations! Download audio file (10112012.mp3)

Courtenay Hameister brings friends/co-workers/vampires Shelley McLendon and Michael Fetters back to the studio to talk about what a crazy undertaking they're in the middle of, what with this whole adapting The Lost Boys into a stage play. What's been changed? What stays the same? How do you manifest the essence of Kiefer Sutherland into one single look? And then, the conversation turns to the more serious of subjects: Courtenay's spent much of her life without a jam. Cort has a jam. Bobby has a jam. Shelley has so much jam that I don't think you're ready for this jelly. Can we come together to solve this giant hole in Courtenay's soul, or will we have to journey to the library to see if we can look up a solution? Download audio file (10102012.mp3)

Learn why there was no show yesterday, thanks to Bobby's stupid body. Find out about David Walker's oh-so-illuminating plane ride next to a drunk christian with a lot on her mind. Discover what the phrase "skyburial" entails thanks to Cort's worldly nature. Marvel at Hasbro's amazing sense of redundancy as they put a Words With Friends board game into production. At some point, discussions of self-involvement, Seattle's terrible parking practices (which include just crashing in order to create a parking space) Seattle fans terrible fandom, but not as bad as Kansas City's fandom, which is pretty damn gross. Dave's new project with AMC, Monopoly rules, and whether or not Dave should date the singing teapot from Beauty and the Beast. It's good to be back. Download audio file (10092012.mp3)

When Mike Russell is back - you'll know it. You'll know it by his voices, plentiful and ridiculous. You'll know it by how high the educational content of the show rises. You'll know it because we're talking about a LOT of movies. We talk about the clever (maybe a little too-clever) Looper, and the majestic, transcendent, angry The Master, and the depressingly throatchop free Taken 2. We also discuss the Lone Ranger trailer that just came out, and the parallels it shares with the pre-release atmosphere surrounding the first Pirates of the Caribbean, and the lessons Hollywood took away from the Dark Knight, and why those lessons are probably not the right ones. Oh, and maybe the most surreal commercial in a long time. Download audio file (10052012.mp3)

Leia Weathington and Byron Beck grab hands and yank the show down an educational path. A sex-educational path. As in Leia's history with sex-education in the midwest is pretty damned backwards. Not as bad as Byron's history with sex-education, which is continual, on-going, and frequently confused. A conversation on The Mediocre Show leads to a discussion about condom usage, and whether there's any way to get condom use to feel like less a necessary chore, and more like a natural part of safe sex practices. And then we dip our toes in a couple weird bits of male hypocrisy: Why aren't there highly-effective, widely available forms of MALE birth control, and why aren't dudes in line to get them? And what is it about wine that causes some dudes to turn up their nose at it in favor of watered down urine in a Budweiser can? Download audio file (10042012.mp3)

Matt Bors, Political Cartoonist and Pulitzer Prize shortlister, guests on today's show with Courtenay Hameister, on the day that Mitt Romney and Barack Obama go head-to-head for the first time in a televised debate. Except we don't really talk about that. We talk about silly drinking games and pre-planned zingers, yeah, but we spend more time talking about what it's like to be the youngest member of a dying breed of artist, and the casual vacation he took in 2010 with his friend Ted Rall. That vacation destination? Oh, Afghanistan. Sure, we get into how he comes up with his ideas, but again - it's the why that's more important, and why Matt Bors does what he does is infinitely fascinating. Download audio file (10032012.mp3)

Lauren Weedman was on today's show. We talked about everything. Or at least it felt that way. The star of "Bust" and "No... You Shut Up" is in Portland to do some prep-work for her newest one-woman show, "The People's Republic of Portland," and she's a little worried about it, being that she's from LA by way of New York, by way of Amsterdam, by way of Seattle, by way of Indiana. But that's really no different than 85% of Portland anymore, anyway. Today's show is a journey through varying states of awkward, inappropriate, funny, uncomfortable, warm, wise, amused, and amusing. Why the hell do we do these things we do, and how do we keep screwing up at it? Download audio file (10022012.mp3)