How To Talk To Kids About Anything

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he’s on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He’s off and running and you don’t need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren’t crazy—there’s a reason for this. It comes down to a person’s tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you’ve seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she’s created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today.

Special Guest: Dr. Dehra Harris Children who are differently wired, and in particular, children with ADHD, can often feel like something is “wrong” with their brain. “Why can’t I pay attention?” “Why am I getting yelled at right now?” While there are some clear challenges that children with ADHD face in school and in some everyday activities, there are also many strengths that come with having ADHD. During this podcast, Dr. Dehra Harris talks about how we can better understand the challenges and strengths of having ADHD and how we can talk to children about their brain. Dr. Dehra also talks to us about some tips to best parent children with ADHD so that they thrive and we all have more success.

Special Guest: Lori Lite More and more, kids are feeling stressed out in today’s world. This is a topic that comes up often- and of course it does, between academics, sports, homework, performance, lack of free play, reduced recess, political unrest, overworked parents and more, kids are being pulled in many directions and so are parents. Stress is part of the landscape in many families. It’s a great privilege to be able to call on the parenting experts who study stress and stress management as a living to help us know what to do, how to stay calm and how to help our kids with stress management.

Special Guest: Carrie Goldman Bullying is a hot topic these days- of course it is. Studies tell us that, more and more, bullying can have a lasting effect on a person's mental health. Not to mention, we hear tragic stories about children feeling hopeless and helpless when they are being bullied- even some who have turned to hurting themselves or suicide because they don’t see anyway out. As a person who was bullied during my 5th grade year—I can relate to feeling so frustrated and upset and misunderstood and stuck, overwhelmed and targeted while I was being bullied- and I vowed that I would do whatever it took to help young people feel confident in their own skin, speak up when they see something is not right, and help the adults who love kids to know some tips and scripts to be helpful when a child is being bullied. You have heard the podcast with Rosalind Wiseman when we spoke abut creating a culture of dignity among young people- now we have one of my friends and colleagues, Carrie Goldman, on the show, to talk more about bullying, in particular.

Special Guest: Joe Primo Having a conversation about death and dying is not typically a conversation people are excited to have with their kids. And yet, we all know it’s necessary. A friend of mine came over to me at a party the other day. She had just found out that her mother-in-law had stage 4 cancer. While dealing with her own whirlwind of emotions, knowing that I provide tips and scripts to have these tough conversations with kids, she asked me; “What do I tell the kids? What if they ask me if she’ll die? What do I say when she does?” The concept of dying can be scary, sad, confusing, angering and upsetting for many of us. Our own emotions, our concern about our children’s emotions- how they are going to take the news- how they are going to cope with life when someone they love dies- how might they grieve—what’s normal- these can make us worry about having the conversations in the first place. Not to mention, our confusion over what to say and how to say it can make this topic on how to talk to kids about death and dying- a real tough one.

Special Guest: Dina Alexander So who wants more information about how to have THE talk with their kids. You know the one. THE SEX TALK! This is one of those conversations that often makes us all squirm in our seats and yet, gotta have it. And remember, while you may not be talking to your kids about sex yet, you’ll need to talk about it at some point—and likely sooner than later, no matter what your family values are and what you personally think your children should or shouldn’t be doing. And for those of you who have already been in the thick of it—perhaps you’ve already had a discussion about privacy, your child’s body or sex itself – remember, it’s never one big talk, but a series of little ones, so this podcast can help provide you with one, two or three extra nuggets you might not have thought of yet when the topic comes up again. And you know it will! It always does.

Special Guest: Dr. Gail Saltz Every parent wants his or her child to be happy and successful. As parents, we learn from many books, experts, our own parents that there is a formula for this—they get enough sleep, we feed them right, we send them to school, give them love and boundaries, make sure they do their homework, we put them in the right sports, get them involved with enrichment activities—the brain and body develops and our child will be successful. Of course, in practice, this is often not such a clear-cut picture. No child is the same as another. No brain is the same as another. And sometimes, when children don’t seem to be following the preconceived pattern that we expected, that we learned about, maybe that we hoped for, we might wonder how our child, who is different from the norm could become happy and successful. It turns out, as some have already discovered, that there is a power in being different and as parents, we can help cultivate, inspire and build upon that difference and that’s where the magic can happen. What magic you might wonder? What is the power of different? That’s why we are privileged to have our amazing guest, Dr. Gail Saltz, for today’s podcast episode.

Special Guest: Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore Friendship can be a beautiful part of life. We laugh, cry, play, talk and experience life with friends as we grow up. I mean, thinking back to your childhood, no doubt there are many moments that many of us can remember that involve friends. But that doesn’t mean that friendship is a simple construct. There are important skills that kids must develop in order to make and keep friends. How do they make friends? How do they learn to understand their friend’ feelings? How do they learn be part of the group and still maintain their own individuality and how do they let go to forgive or even more on from a friendship? For these questions, we are turning to Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD

Special Guest: Amy Morin, LCSW Ever wonder: What is the secret of success? Is it intelligence? Talent? Luck? Perhaps a bit. But more and more the research is telling us that the X-factor—the reason why some people fail and other succeed comes down to grit or what is sometimes referred to as mental toughness or mental strength. What is mental strength? How can we develop it? And How can parents, teachers and coaches help kids to develop mental strength? These are just some of the questions we are going to get answers to on today’s podcast with Amy Morin.

Special Guest: Dr. Dae Sheridan The topic of sexual assault, suicide and cyber-bullying are certainly topics that are well covered in the news but not topics that parents and educators often love to cover with kids. But today’s topic has, of late, been the recipient of a great deal of media coverage and concern among parents and educators. Why?

Special Guest: Scott Sonenshein This podcast provides: Tips: How to help our kids do more with less and become more resourceful. How can we be more creative? Scott also talks about taking “field trips,” creative atypical birthday parties, reaffirming play, modeling, little seed creativity. Scripts: Saying no to our children, what to say when your child wants a new toy Steps: Taking a child through how to be resourceful when wanting a new toy. How can we look at what we have in unique ways? Barriers to success: By saying yes to everything we create a dependence on “more stuff” and we rob our kids of the ability to get creative.

Special Guest: Katie Hurley This podcast provides: Tips: Katie talks about watching for stress-signs, encouraging play, dealing with differences between parents and children, using empathic listening, using stress words and problem-solving, stop and label, self care, body mapping, deep breathing. Scripts: Instead of problem solving, use some empathic listening and reflect back what your child is saying. Examples are given. Also how to talk to kids about pitching in when parents are stressed out (and ask for help when they are!). Barriers to success: Differences between how parents and children cope with stress (coming from different worlds).

Special Guest: Christina McGhee This podcast provides: Tips: How to prepare to tell the kids about divorce and what to know, when best to say it and what to do if you are going to do so. The dos and don’ts of talking to kids about divorce. Scripts: What to say, step by step, when you need to tell your kids about a divorce in the family. Steps: The steps to take before you talk to your kids about getting a divorce. Barriers to success: Putting the kids in the middle, our own feelings about the experience, our assumption that our kids are “fine” and already know and understand.

Special Guest: Wendy Young This podcast provides: Tips: How to co-regulate How to get off the anger merry-go-round. How to use “a bug and a wish.” How to help kids realize the anger cues How to construct a mad box and why How to process the feelings and interactions after the incident is over. Speaking out loud about our own anger and how we process it N.O.W. Learn how to Normalize, Offer opportunities/strategies, Work with children on managing big feelings Scripts: What to say when your children have big feelings and are showing intensity. How to help children describe how big their feelings are at that moment. Helping kids know what to do when they want to engage in negative behaviors- what can we do instead? How to give hope when helping kids managing big, intense feelings How to process the feelings after the incident is over Walking through the steps of calming down our anger out loud. Exactly what to say when children are in the throws of messy feelings.

Special Guest: Margie Warrell This podcast provides: Tips: Specific tips on what to do to help our children take healthy risks and lead a brave life. Scripts: What to say (and how to show and model) to our kids about getting out of their comfort zone as well as what kinds of risks are worth taking. How to add bravery into everyday experiences