Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Reconciled Reconcilers Andi Andrew ep 228

KJ Perdomo isn’t a mom (yet). But as a daughter, she has experienced a what seems like a lifetime’s worth of pain and rejection. She shares her story of loss and brokenness and about the bullying she experienced growing up. But it doesn’t stop there. God pursued her through an aunt who adopted her and a timely invitation to church when she was contemplating suicide, then again through a community of believers in college who radically loved her and helped her hear God. Through her own story of redemption, KJ found a passion for connecting others to revival and for discipling people to hear God’s voice instead of the world’s. It is not worth my time to dwell on and think about a thought that was not from the Lord. There's a verse that says we need to take our thoughts captive. The original context literally means to capture and interrogate our thoughts... It's not worth your time to believe anything less than what heaven is speaking about you. KJ’s story will fire you up to see revival in your own family and communities as we seek to follow Jesus’ example. We have to be people who radically live for the Lord. And it seems funny, but what we think is radical, Jesus really called normal. Since he shared himself with everyone, that should be our normal, right? Because Jesus only did what he saw the Father do. So we should do what we see Jesus do. What we chat about: KJ’s story of family brokenness, adoption and growing up learning about Jesus Her struggle with self worth during her school years and the effects of bullying in her life Hearing God for yourself and helping your children learn to hear God is so important KJ’s experience growing closer to God in college How community pressing into God on KJ’s behalf made a powerful impact on her Learning to hear the voice of God Taking every thought captive and how to interrogate your thoughts to see if they are from God It's not worth your time to believe anything less than what heaven is speaking about you Opting into community with other believers and how it can be messy, but worth it Seeking revival for our communities and for us personally Revival starts with reconciliation Believing the truth of who God says you are and that he can heal your deep heart wounds To see revival in the world and in our families we have to be willing to be the hands and feet of Jesus Living radically for Jesus and sharing our faith The nuts and bolts of modern-day discipleship Asking the right questions to point people back to Jesus Connect with KJ:   Links Mentioned: * William Lane Craig * The Lost Art of Disciple Making** * A Guide for Listening and Inner-Healing Prayer by Rusty Rustenbach** * Group Heather mentioned, the "Spiritual Authority Cohort" by CRM Leaders * Freedom Tools by Andy Reese** * Can You Hear Me: Tuning Into the God Who Speaks by Brad Jersak** **Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast. Featured Sponsor: Prep Dish Prep Dish meal plans were created by chef & dietician Allison Schaaf to help save you time and put home-cooked meals on the table.

Family Transformation Starts with Personal Revival KJ Perdomo Ep 227

Tommy Nelson serves as the pastor of Denton Bible Church in Denton, Texas. He's a husband, father, best-selling author, and well-known speaker. But not too long ago he walked through an unexpected journey of depression and anxiety that stemmed from overcommitting in his job. Stretched too thin, his body and mind began to break down under the strain. My mind couldn't stay focused. I lost 20 pounds and got to where I couldn't work out. I would just put myself to sleep at night on some kind of medication and then I would jolt awake in the morning and go through the day unable to relax. All I could do was pray and just try to make it through the day. It's scary, you know, you can't define it. Tommy shares about his path to healing after identifying why he was feeling the effects of anxiety and depression. He also shared about the role his wife played in praying for him and keeping his faith up in the midst of the storms. When you're going through this the whole world is made of salt and you're an open wound. Everything can be painful. And I remember her just laying on the bed with me and putting her arms around me… Just knowing that she was there meant so much. She would fuss at me, but in a good way, you know, she'd keep my faith up. If you or your spouse have experienced anxiety or depression in the past, or even today, there is encouragement for you in this episode! Tommy also shares about a 4-hour teaching he has available for streaming right now online. The Journey Through Depression & Anxiety Click Here to buy live stream access to the conference, The Journey Through Depression and Anxiety. If you have never heard of The Hub before, it's your best source for Bible Studies, Online Resources, and Live Christian events. You can tune in to some of the most anticipated live events of the year from the comfort of your own home or church. You can learn more at gotothehub.com under the "Live Events" tab. Check it out!" What we chat about: Tommy’s backstory of overwork and his physical/mental breakdown because of it How proper care and medication helps level the playing field with depression and anxiety The importance of protecting your mornings and protecting your evenings and balancing your schedule How spouses can support each other when depression or anxiety strikes No on goes through life without stressful situations. Sometimes God uses these times in to stretch us How vital sleep and relaxation are for your body to restore itself God is not a genie. Healing takes time and trusting in God’s goodness Staying strong in the word and strengthening yourself in the Lord can Sometimes the struggle with depression and anxiety can bring you closer to God For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. 1 Corinthians 7:14 Praying out loud for your spouse is powerful Connect with Tommy: Links Mentioned: * Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon BOOK: Walking on Water When You Feel Like You're Drowning: Finding Hope in Life's Darkest Moments**  Hope for Life Ministries with Steve Leavitt www.

The Anxious or Depressed Spouse Tommy Nelson Ep 226

This week’s guest Janay Wilborn is a mom of two kiddos who are just 20 months apart. She shares a lot of hope for moms of multiple children and moms who are transitioning from one kid to two. You have such overwhelming love for your first child and you wonder how could I possibly have the same level of capacity for another one? That's where God is amazing because his love is limitless and he puts this limitless love inside of us as parents. As we answer some of your questions about parenting young children and the transitions in motherhood, Janay shares some remedies to the mom guilt that tries to steal our joy and about the best way to teach our kids about Jesus. (hint: it’s not a specific Bible study or theology cards) We round out our conversation with some tips about connecting with your spouse during the little years of parenting with date strategies to keep the fun in your marriage. Janay also shares with vulnerability and openness about the need to grieve the things you lose when you become a mom. You have to recognize as a mom that what you're doing with your kids is super valuable, but it's okay to miss what you used to do. And I think when you acknowledge that it helps you value what you're doing even more. What we chat about: Janay’s experience as a mom of two and the transition to caring for a baby and a toddler God has endless love to help us love our kids Engaging with older kids when you have a newborn Connection time with our kids is more important than our task lists Perspective on how quickly we go through the various stages with our kids. What is hard now will not be in the future! Mom guilt and the fear that we’re not a good enough mom How the constant comparison of social media contributes to bad mom self-esteem The biggest way to teach your children about Jesus is the way you live Transitioning to motherhood and grieving the loss of what you lose as a mom Remembering that the time we have with little ones is precious Connecting with your husband during the little years of parenting The importance of sexual intimacy for a healthy marriage  Date strategies and how to get back to the fun you had when you were just dating Recognize that what you are doing as a mom is valuable Connect with Janay:      Links Mentioned: * Discipline & Toddlers -- Hailey Bain & Meredith Woodruff * For the Mom with Lots of Littles -- Hanni Go **Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast. Featured Sponsor: Prep Dish Prep Dish meal plans were created by chef & dietician Allison Schaaf to help save you time and put home-cooked meals on the table. No meal time stress. No more answering the dreaded question, “What’s for Dinner?!”. Developed by chef & dietician Allison Schaaf, Prep Dish is a healthy, whole food based meal plan subscription service. Allison does all the planning for you- including easy-to-follow shopping lists and prep-ahead instructions so you know what to prepare and when. Imagine...all of your meals prepped and ready to go for the entire week. We like to call this meal time bliss!

New Mom Q & A Janay Wilborn Ep 225

Sandi Patty is Christian music icon who provided the soundtrack to a lot of my youth. She’s an inspiration on and off the stage. In our interview, she opens up about a lot of struggles she’s had in her past and the fears and shame she’s carried for a long time. I'm just being very real with you about how even now at 62, I'm still processing the 'should haves'. You know, I often say, ‘I should’ to myself. You know, I should've done this. I should've done that. I should have. She shares the freedom she’s still finding in learning to focus on what God says about her identity as a wife, mother and as an artist. And about how connecting with God through community and counseling have made all the difference for her. As a mom of eight grown kids from a blended family, Sandi does not mom alone! Finally, Sandi shares what a huge impact it made for her when she really grasped that God not only loves her, He likes her too. A friend told me once that God likes me. Really. If he was giving a party, he'd give you an invitation. If he had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. Like he likes you. He delights in you. And you know, there's a lot of people that we think of that we love, but we may not necessarily like. It really connected for me because I would think, yeah, of course he loves me. But he's God, that's his job. But that he likes me. That's really cool. What we chat about: Sandi’s blended family which includes eight kids It’s ok to have two oldests or two youngests in a blended family Acknowledging that every blended family is born out of loss Sandi’s family background and her experience with sexual abuse How Bible Study Fellowship played a big role in helping her connect with God’s word The important role that counseling can play in healing from trauma How sharing your story truthfully and openly can bring healing Every day in your marriage isn’t going to be perfect and it’s ok to model that for your kids Processing an injury her son had almost 30 years ago and how Sandi has carried the guilt of that incident Motherhood brings feeling of guilt and shame to the surface God loves and worries more about our kids than we ever could Learning to believe the truth that God loves each of us (and likes us too!) You cannot get shame off of you without help God’s word is our biggest tool against fear and doubt Connect with Sandi:      Links Mentioned: * Bible Study Fellowship -- find a group in your area or do the study online The Voice: Listening for God’s Voice and Finding Your Own** Broken on the Back Row** **Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast. Featured Sponsor: Prep Dish Prep Dish meal plans were created by chef & dietician Allison Schaaf to help save you time and put home-cooked meals on the table. No meal time stress. No more answering the dreaded question, “What’s for Dinner?!”. Developed by chef & dietician Allison Schaaf, Prep Dish is a healthy, whole food based meal plan subscription service. Allison does all the planning for you- including easy-to-follow shopping lists and prep-ahead instructions so you know what to prepare and when. Imagine...

Finding Your Voice Sandi Patty Ep 224

Candace Cameron Bure is an actress, producer, New York Times bestselling author, beloved by millions worldwide from her role as D.J. Tanner on the iconic family sitcoms Full House and Fuller House and of course Hallmark Channel movies. (Christmas is coming and she has a new one coming out Nov. 25) But, she’s also a mom of three children ages 16 to 20 and an outspoken Christian in the entertainment industry. She shares what it was like to grow up working in entertainment and the values her parents passed on to her. And about how she walks out her faith now as a busy working actress, a career she returned to after choosing to be a stay-at-home mom for 10 years. Now sometimes I literally have to roll out of my bed and onto my knees every morning and start my day. I don't feel connected if I don't do that. But throughout my day I'm constantly having conversations with God. It might just be under my breath asking Jesus to help me because I want to snap at that person right now or I'm going to lose it with my son who just talked back to me. It's a constant dialogue and I trust that he hears me. We talk about her new children’s book “Candace Center Stage” and how it focuses on the values of hard work and courage, especially for our strong-willed children. It’s very reflective of my own life growing up and the lessons that I've really tried to instill in my own children. Like don't be afraid to fail just because you'll never know what you're capable of unless you try. And don't be afraid to work hard at it. If you quit too early you may not realize how good you can be and if you're not, that’s OK. You can pick something else, but you’ve got to try. As she takes us into her world, she talks through how she stays calm and kind under pressure and lives for Jesus as she juggles the roles and the callings God has put on her life. I want to be that influencer for positivity and kindness and showing my love for Jesus. And I would love for people to know Jesus because of me because I've shared a good word. What we chat about: Candace’s strong foundation from her own parents Fostering a good work ethic in your kids without pressuring to perform for your love and approval Candace’s family and what her older children are up to How she and her husband share the responsibilities of raising their children Maintaining balance with changing priorities and calls on your time Learning to say “No” without feeling bad about it It’s really more about juggling priorities and trusting that God partners with us as we make decisions Candace’s walk with the Lord and how she lives out her faith in San Francisco Praying throughout the day and how Candace talks with God through all she does How to work with people who have anti-Christian sentiments and responding with kindness What it was like growing up in the entertainment industry Her new children’s book Candace Center Stage and the background on why she wrote it * Preparing for the teenage years now and looking forward to them Connect with Candace:      Links Mentioned: Candace Center Stage** **Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast. Not Alone Community

How to be Calm and Kind Under Pressure :: Candace Cameron Bure [Ep 223]

Connected Relationships Jim Lynne Jackson Ep 222

For day two of Don’t Mom Alone Live, Jim and Lynne Jackson are back to talk all about relationships and answer listener questions. If you’ve ever felt like a bad parent because of your child’s disobedience or struggle to referee the sibling arguments and fights in your home, this episode is for you! The Jackson’s share their Peace process and how to be confident before God in how you are parenting. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. So we need to have confidence in our ability to be peaceful and not let this child's behavior define me or tell me that I'm a bad parent. And have the long-term view that God can do anything in a child's life as I persevere in encouraging and teaching and training. They share great practicals for blended families and for how to navigate parenting when you and your spouse or co-parent aren’t on the same page. We also dive into teaching your children empathy and social cues as a way to foster great friendships. In the end, our goal can be to equip our kids to be conduits of God’s grace to the world both through their relationships with others, but it starts with their relationship with us. When I thought about that the kind of relationships in life that Jesus bought for our kids on the cross, not just with each other but whatever relationships they'd have. I just had this image of "trickle down grace" starting from the cross and just trickling down through us to our kids and then out to the world and our kids. We can grow to become profound dispensers of grace in life to others. What we chat about: Getting feedback about our kids that makes you feel like a “bad parent” Keeping the long-view when you are training your children There is a dramatic increase in anxiety and depression in children, teens and young adults. It is five to eight times greater than it was 50 years ago. What to do when you and your spouse aren’t on the same page with parenting Ask penetrating questions when your spouse is struggling to parent in kindness. “What are you hoping our kids will learn right now?” Blended family dynamics and how to co-parent well You are building trust with your kids and when you are confident before God in how you are parenting, you can be at peace with how someone else is parenting Ask kids: What do you want to tell me about how you’re feeling and how your time went? Sibling rivalry and how conflict is an opportunity to teach our children how to reconcile The Peace Process the Jackson’s teach: Calm > Understand > Solve > Celebrate Celebrating that your kids reconciled is an important step to future success When your kids feel encouraged and successful when working through conflict, you can see the momentum begin to change Learning empathy as a family and equipping your kids to be more successful in friendship Quick connects with individually with your kids can be more effective than playing with them for longer periods. Find ways to show that you delight in who they are! Use mission trips and giving back to the community as your vacation/connection time as a family Connect with Jim & Lynne Jackson:      Links Mentioned: * Previous Episodes with Jim & Lynne -- Ep 80 , Ep 81,

For the first part of our 2018 Don’t Mom Alone live event, Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, joined me & my husband Bruce to answer listener questions about discipline and how to use their framework for biblically-based parenting. We share lots of stories of how we have failed as parents and learned along the way. But then I started to realize maybe my humility was my greatest currency for influence to help her learn the lessons and the values and the things that mattered most… Our kids need to know we're not perfect. They need to know that we'll come back to them and say, ‘Hey I blew it. I'm sorry. Would you forgive me?’ And get back to reconciliation in those relationships. -- Jim Jackson. So good! Jim and Lynne talk us through the parenting framework they’ve developed and redefining how we view discipline with our kids. Ultimately, it comes down to connecting with their hearts and leading them to Jesus instead of trying to control their behavior. We can help kids embrace the wisdom of the righteous. And that really prepares the way for the Lord to come in our family in a strong way. Because in today's day and age with all the craziness that's going on, these kids need a form of discipline that's not just about punitive correction but that's about a whole way of life that teaches our kids how to be followers of Jesus. -- Lynne Jackson And it’s not just vision for how we want to parent, the Jacksons also share some super practical tips and give us some ways to respond to our defiant, strong-willed or sensitive kids. What we chat about: The basis for Jim and Lynn’s parenting framework How do you parent proactively instead of reactively when you feel like you're just surviving minute What is our goal in parenting? Is it immediate obedience from our children or fostering their ability to make wise choices? Bringing God’s grace into our messy moments Why connecting with God is so essential to how we parent Go into a situation asking, “Lord, what is the opportunity here?” Helping our kids build wisdom instead of feeling the need to express our disappointment when they mess up Trusting that our kids really want to do better Separating behavior from identity in our kids Humility and apologizing well may be our greatest currency as a parent The idea of a parent do-over Tips for parents of younger kids and encouragement for parenting kids who bite or hit We tend to think of behavior as either all good or all bad When our goal is to control their behavior, it doesn’t build trust You don’t have to be mean to be strong as a parent Big, loud, and loving energy can make a big difference in the middle of conflict Luke 1:17- "And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” Strong-willed kids and the importance of calling out their giftings and how God made them Sometimes it’s sensitive and intense children are labeled as strong-willed Psalm 73:21-24 "When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory." Connect with Jim & Lynne Jackson:   

Discipline 101 Live Event Friday Night Jim Lynne Jackson Ep 221