Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Beating 50 Percent Audrey Roloff Ep 241

Choosing a school for your kids can be hot-button issue. There are more school and educational model choices now than ever before and there can be a lot of emotions tied up in those choices. In this episode, Wendy Speake, a mom of three, shares her journey with schooling options for her boys and how God has led her and her husband through the process. We talk about choosing schools based on your family values, individual child’s needs and your needs as a mom. Whether our child is reading at 3 years old or struggling academically, we all want to see our kids succeed. But what defines success? We've been given this command to train up our children in the way they should go. And when they are old, they won't depart from it. So when they are young, we get to say, alright, they need to learn to read and write. They need to be able to take personal responsibility for their studies by the time they're x years old and those are all important things. But if they're going to leave my house with three things, what should those three things be? Wendy shines a light on the places we can feel guilty or overwhelmed in making choices about educating our children. She encourages us and speaks hope and grace for parents who are facing challenges with their kids. Ultimately, we can lean on God for the wisdom we need to make these hard decisions in love. 'Lord, give me wisdom as I lead this great people of yours.' And as I pray that it's amazing how you transfer the responsibility off of your shoulders onto the shoulders of the one who is able to carry every burden: Christ. And he is so good to speak to us through his Holy Spirit. Personally, Bruce and I have sought God's direction as we've pursued a few different education options for our boys. Peace comes when we depend on God, the One who understands our children and their future needs better than we ever could. What we chat about: * Looking at all the options for schooling your kid can feel overwhelming* There are so many more choices today- public, private, charter, homeschool, online* Vicki’s experience with various schooling options* Questions to ask yourself when considering school options: What are your family’s values? What are my child’s needs? What are my needs?* When your child is older, you need to teach them how to persevere and not change learning models* When they are young, there are some many factors that are individual to each child* It’s important to think about how you feel too* These decisions can be fluid. You aren’t “stuck” with one model.* We want to be in the “school of dependency on Christ” when it comes to making decisions about our children’s education* A prayer Wendy uses when making big decisions: “Give me wisdom as I lead this great people of yours.”* Hope and encouragement for parents who are fearful of their child’s learning challenges* Some of the most incredible women and men were the hardest kids to raise* Partner with your kids in their challenges and be expectant of all he will do in their lives Connect with Wendy: * Website- https://www.wendyspeake.com/ * Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/wendy.s.brunner * Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/wendy_speake/ * Twitter- https://twitter.com/Wendy_Speake Links Mentioned: * BOOK: 100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum: Choosing the Right Curriculum and Approach for Your C...

The School of Dependency on Christ Wendy Speake Ep 240

Our kids are growing up in a culture that is less friendly to the Christian faith than ever before. As moms we have a choice to parent from fear or to bravely engage with our kids and make time and space to have hard conversations. My guest Vicki Courtney walks us through why it’s worth it to help our kids wrestle with their questions about faith, culture and learning to trust God. She shares about her experience raising three kids of her own as a newer believer and the power of parenting with humility and love. We are going to have to learn as parents to have conversations in such a way that we teach our children to walk in truth, but we need to lead with love. In past generations as parents, we could teach our children, 'Well, here's the truth. And the Bible says this, so you need to live this way.' And a lot of times we forgot about the love part. While we may tend to look at culture and our children’s generation and feel hopeless, Vicki reminds us that Jesus is the hope the world is looking for and keeping an open, loving line of communication with our kids can make all the difference in how they own their faith. Now nothing is different about this generation in the sense that they are chasing after something to feel the void. We all have that void, right? We all have chased after things along the way and that nothing will fill that void other than the love of Christ and his Gospel. And so for our children, they are going to feel an awareness of that void sooner. But the hope is we have the answer and the hope is I feel like we are ripe for massive revival out there. For more on the Must Have Conversations to have with your kids, check out Vicki’s books. What we chat about: * How Vicki came to know Jesus and God's direction to her ministry * Her books 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter and 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son* The culture our kids are growing up in isn’t friendly to the Christian faith* As we have conversations with them about God’s truth, we need to lead with love* Making room for these important conversations by giving your family margin * Avoiding triggers that make you as mom feel like you aren’t doing enough* It’s ok if your kid doesn’t do all the activities like sports and music* If it’s God’s plan for your child to be gifted in an area, it will happen for them regardless of our actions* Letting our kids have room to fail and learn from failure* Parenting from an place of humility and not shaming or finger wagging* Staying open to our kids and helping them feel comfortable sharing anything with you* The different mentalities of the prodigal son and the older brother from the parable of the Prodigal Son in the Bible and how both see God’s grace from the wrong perspective* Viewing God’s grace rightly and understanding the fear of God helps us lead with love* How to help your kids wrestle with the idea of “hipster Jesus” and losing the idea that God should be feared/awed Connect with Vicki: * Website https://vickicourtney.com* Facebook https://www.facebook.com/vjcourtney* Instagram https://www.instagram.com/vickicourtney  * Twitter https://twitter.com/vicki_courtney Links Mentioned: * BOOKS:

Must Have Conversations Vicki Courtney Ep 239

God often uses our areas of weakness to bring blessing to others. The things we long to keep in the dark can actually bring light and life when we say, “Yes.” to God. That is JJ Heller’s story. As an independent singer/songwriter, she has experienced a lot of ups and downs in professionally and personally. One of the hardest things has been her struggle with fear and anxiety. I would pray every night that I would wake up in the morning and I would never have another panic attack again. Because, you know, sometimes God answers prayers that way, just totally, completely instantly. And yet that is not how he chose to answer my prayer much to my disappointment. Instead, it was just a very, very long journey of like gradually getting better every day and learning to trust God and learning to trust myself. I'm learning to trust that God has given me what I need to get through each day. Through that process of learning to trust God, she has shared openly about working through anxiety and has written and recorded a lot of songs and albums that help connect others with God’s peace. We talk about her beautiful lullaby albums and the impact music can have on people of all ages. As a mom of two girls, JJ writes music with moms in mind. Her new single Big Love, Small Moments serves as reminder that the small, unseen things we do with our kids can have the biggest impact on their lives. I wanted to write a song just as a reminder that God sees the work that you're doing and he is so delighted. I think that God delights in mothers and I think it brings him joy. You know, every time you feed your child or you play with them or you put them down for a nap time, that is worship and he is so pleased with you. That perspective helps me to have eyes to see the beauty around me and to find joy in the little moments. What we chat about: * The big change in college that started JJ down the path to music* How JJ connects with listeners emotionally through her songs* A song she wrote about learning to trust God in the midst of suffering made it on a national TV show and on Christian radio* JJ’s journey with fear and anxiety and how God brought her healing* The importance of community and trusted friends when you need freedom from anxious thoughts* How motherhood has changed her career and calling* Her lullaby albums and why she’s so drawn to music for kids* Her song Big Love, Small Moments and how she wants moms to feel celebrated by God* It’s the small moments and the daily decisions that help us focus on turning up the warmth and grace in our families Connect with JJ: * Website* Facebook* Instagram * Twitter Links Mentioned: * Lullaby Albums: I Dream of You**and I Dream of You Vol. 2 *** Jennifer Naraki on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jennifernaraki/* Joy Prouty Filmmaker https://www.instagram.com/joyprouty* Set Free From Shame with Jeannie Cunnion [Ep 190]* Instagram post by Jeannie  --turning up the warmth in our homes* JJ sharing about her panic attacks-- “You’re Not Going Crazy”

Panic Attacks and Growing Trust JJ Heller Ep 238

If you’ve been parenting for more than a day or so, you know that there is no one-size-fits all way to raise and discipline children. There are so many experts with great resources for parents (a lot of them have been on the show), but in the end each one of your children is an individual with individual needs. But what if they have needs that go beyond what’s typical? That’s just where my guest Karis Murray found herself when her second daughter started school and struggled to keep up with her classmates. After years of struggle or a lot of fear of the unknown, Karis and her daughter were both diagnosed and treated for ADHD. Karis takes us through how she supported her daughter with high needs. She gives advice and encouragement to moms who have children in similar situations. Special or unique needs are things that are unique to our particular child that might not be true of everyone. And so this is kind of a sneaky one because you have to approach every person as an individual and it's really easy to forget that our kids are people. They're all individuals. So a lot of the time their behavior at home or at school might be an attempt to get a unique need met, a special need that is not getting dealt with. We also get into how to set appropriate boundaries and how grace based discipline can help us separate the sin from our child’s heart and shift to focus away from our own feelings. Good discipline is responding, not reacting. When we're reacting, we're not thinking about what's best for our kids. Very often we're thinking about what's best for us. If we choose to take it personally, then we stay stuck in our emotions. I'm not saying take the rules away or don't have the same expectations, but when we can see our kid the way that God sees them, we can approach them with love and kindness. What we chat about: * Karis’ background with ADHD personally and in her family* Having good expectations about parenting teens instead of dreading it* Discovering one of her daughters had ADHD and the signs and symptoms she exhibited * The way her daughter struggled in school and when they decided to seek help* The evaluation process and how medication has helped both Karis and her daughter with ADHD* The stigma around mental health and medication* A lot of discipline problems can stem from our child’s unmet needs (that they often can’t express)* Decoding your child’s behavior to see if they have any unique or special needs * As parents, we are the first lens through which our kids see God and his character* The danger of letting fear drive your response to problems in your child’s behavior or development* Setting appropriate expectations and boundaries for children with special needs* Karis’ new video series on Grace-Based Discipline available on RightNow Media and on her website Connect with Family Matters: * Website* Facebook* Instagram * Twitter Links Mentioned: * Grace Based Discipline :: Karis Kimmel Murray [Ep 150] * Grace Based Discipline** by Karis Kimmel Murray* Grace Based Parenting** by Dr. Tim Kimmel* Video Series on Grace Based Discipline available at http://gracebaseddiscipline.com  and on

Grace Based Discipline for Kids with Unique Needs Karis Murray Ep 237

Depending on your church and faith background, you may of heard of Lent or even observed it in the past. Similar to the Advent period which leads up to Christmas, Lent is a season of prayer and fasting before Easter. It is a practice recognized by millions of Protestant Christians and Catholics. Though it isn’t mentioned or required in scripture (neither is Advent or Christmas), the practice of Lent can enrich your worship and deepen your focus on the meaning of the cross and the victory of the resurrection. My guest Erin Moon takes us through the practice and purpose behind Lent and answers some common questions you might have about the practice of fasting during the Lenten season and more. I think as a culture we are so far away from being uncomfortable. We have put in every safeguard that we can think of for our comfort. And I think we are doing ourselves a massive disservice. Lent is based on Jesus' 40 days of fasting in the wilderness before he started his ministry. And so I think it's so good for us to deny ourselves the things that make us comfortable. Though much of the focus at Lent can be about fasting or denying something that distracts us from God, there is also place to feast on God’s Word and fill that emptiness with more of Him. These disciplines are meant to empty us so that the Lord may fill us. We are making ourselves available to Christ in hopes of growing our faith. When we get into a mindset closely related to Jesus as he fasted and prayed, we are getting closer to him. We are removing distractions. We're waiting, but we're not wasting our time. Lent begins this year on Wednesday, March 6 and continues for the 6 weeks leading up to Easter. Erin has created an in-depth guide for Lent that is perfect for beginners and for those who have observed it for many years. If you are unsure about Lent, I encourage you to take a moment and ask God if this is for you in your current season. If you have a friend who has observed Lent before, ask questions! Get curious. (Don’t Lent Alone!) Or, take a leap and try it out. There are so many spiritual disciplines and ways we can connect with God. If Lent helps you grow in God’s grace, then doit. But if it doesn’t, then don’t. I hope you enjoy our chat and connect with Erin on Instagram @erinhmoon for some of the most fun and funny Instagram Stories on the internet. She has a separate account you can follow for more about Lent: @OHeavyLightness. What we chat about: Erin’s background as a Southern Baptist and her transition to an Anglican tradition The liturgical calendar and rhythms of worship in the Anglican faith Lent’s background and the purpose of fasting Lent is based on Jesus' 40 days of fasting in the wilderness before he started his ministry Determining what to fast is about removing a distraction and then filling that space with something that brings you closer to Jesus The idea of both fasting and feasting Processing grief and anger through Lent Praying the hours during Lent Erin’s Lent study, Oh Heavy Lightness, A Guide for Lent and Holy Week (Use code MOM15 for 15% off) Lenten and Easter services like Palm Sunday and Tenebrae Services and the rhythm of daily prayers during Lent Connect with Erin:

Preparing Our Hearts for Easter Erin Moon Ep 236

When a friend or loved one receives a heartbreaking diagnosis, it’s hard to find the words to say or know what to do to love and support them. Today’s guest, Marissa Henley, has a unique perspective to share with us on how to support a friend with cancer. Marissa Henley is now cancer-free, but for several months her world was turned upside down with cancer treatments that took her away from her family made it impossible for her to care for her husband and three kids. She tells her cancer story and gives us a lot of practical advice to empower women to confidently and compassionately minister to their friends with cancer. I have sadly heard from other cancer survivors who hear me talk about this and they didn't have that same kind of support I did. And it just grieves me so much to hear. I get that we're all busy and it's difficult, but I do feel like it's so important for us as the body of Christ. This is part of our calling. If we belong to Christ, we don't just belong to him. We belong to each other. I think it's important that we try to foster relationships before these things happen and that we're preparing to be the body of Christ that we need to be to those who are hurting. She talks through different circles of friendship and how to determine what your role can be for a friend in need, tips for bringing meals and what to say (and not to say) to your friend with cancer. Marissa also highlights how key it is to ask God to show us what support role we can play for our friends before overcommitting or burning out. And one thing that I have seen in my own life and over and over again with other friends is that the Lord really does provide and he provides in a lot of different ways. And usually he is weaving together this tapestry of support to provide for our friends needs and we're just one thread. We don't even necessarily see all the other threads that he's using to meet those needs. So I think that it's good to pray and ask the Lord what your role should be. What we chat about: Marissa’s history with cancer and her surprise diagnosis with angiosarcoma Her prayer to beat the 5-year odds for her cancer How Marissa had to move to another city to get treatment The impact of her cancer treatment on her kids and what they remember now several years later The support her friends provided to her family during her health struggle Three circles of friendships: inner circle, middle circle and outer circle Fostering inner circle friendships and being aware of the margin we have in our lives Making specific offers of help with a time of day or specific tasks you can do to help is better than a general offer of help Tips for going the extra mile when bringing a meal Letting go of expectations of spending time with a friend when bringing them a meal God provides a tapestry support for friends in need and we are just one small piece of that Pray and ask God for what your role can be in supporting a friend to avoid burnout Finding the right words to say to a friend with cancer and not letting fear to keep you from being present with them When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. Proverbs 10:19 Ask, “How are you today?” Connect with Marissa:      Links Mentioned: * In Light of Eternity:: Jenn Clouse [Ep 100]

Supporting a Friend with Cancer Marissa Henley Ep 235

Whether you’ve been married for a short time or you’re nearing a milestone anniversary, a healthy marriage takes a lot of work. A marriage is made up of thousands of small moments and habits that over time result in God-honoring, joyful marriage or a self-centered, strained marriage. Speaker and author Paul David Tripp joins me to lay the groundwork for how to cultivate healthy habits in our marriage and identify the ones that need to be uprooted. He shares what he’s learned in almost 50 years of marriage and how to look at our marriages in light of the gospel. What's a biblical view of marriage? Well, it's a sinner married to a sinner in a fallen world. Are you encouraged yet? But with a faithful God. Now that means we can't just coast in our marriage because there are things inside of me and things inside of my wife that are potentially destructive to marriage because we're not perfect people yet. And we live in a fallen world that is a threat to our marriage. Paul also calls us to take a new view of our spouse’s differences and see how God created us for unity, not uniformity. There is no call anywhere in the Bible to uniformity. The call is for unity. Unity is only ever needed in the face of difference... We have to stop making those differences a matter of right and wrong, If it's not named as sin by God, then it's just a difference and God actually glories in those differences because those differences point to his grandeur as a creator. I hope you are encouraged and equipped from this conversation to re-engage with your spouse with fresh faith for experiencing all that God has for you in your marriage. What we chat about: Marriages are made up of thousands and thousands of little moments The kind of relationship we have built in those moments determines how we handle the big moments We naturally structure our marriages around habits How to identify good and bad habits in your marriage Sin makes us self-focused and anti-social, but marriage is a covenant of community Helping our spouse access what God wants for them instead of arguing or nagging them We will always be working on our marriages. There is no place for coasting Confession and forgiveness can change the direction in disagreements Jesus did not just bare our guilt. He bore our shame God made us for unity, not for uniformity A look at why we are so vastly different from our spouse Even when we are formed into the image of Jesus, we will still be different from our spouse Tips for showing gratitude in your marriage and fostering joy The fruits of the Spirit are key for a good marriage If you are struggling in marriage, engage with community and your church family. Isolation is the enemy of a healthy marriage Connect with Paul David Tripp:      Links Mentioned: Gospel Parenting Paul David Tripp [Ep 176] * Opportunity vs. Disruption Paul David Tripp [Ep 212] * My Favorite Paul David Tripp Devotional: New Morning Mercies (Great gift for a spouse) * Sinners Married to Sinners Cheryl Scruggs and Jae Carpenter Ep 195

Habits of a Healthy Marriage Paul David Tripp Ep 234