Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Some people make your P***y dry! Who does that in your life? Now let them know. Good job. We talk about regrets in life, how awful some audience members can be, how awesome others are, but the big news is that our sushi server who berates for ordering too much is caught on tape giving us the biz! The real scoop is that we really don't order that much, this woman just hates us and everyone who orders more than 4 bites. Then we share what is perhaps the most infuriating 60 Minutes piece we have ever seen -at least in the consumer market genre-and we want our mommies to know the truth. Sunglasses are a racket! Theo fills it up! Oh My GOD! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These jeans need a wash. After a weeklong mini-tour of the South the mommies are back home and telling you how it all went down. Fast food and faster dumps. A pee latch for you car? Super fans and super douche bags - it's all out there. We talk about the joy of BBQ sauce and the horror of long drives and we even have to continue giving you that Jada Pinkett Knowledge, knaw meen? Twitter haters, we feel you. Your hate has hit home. Now please go find some love in your life. That's an order from your mother! We want to thank each and every one of you that came to our shows. May the denim be with you. And keep your feet off the dash, please.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mommy Dome got a little more Mommier this week with our very special guest, Mary Lynn Rajskub (also a REAL mother). Rajskub definitely wore her jeans extra high for us and we couldn't be happier about it. She shares stories of starting out in the cold, hard streets of THE D. After standing up for herself against neighborhood toughs and winning multiple rap battles, Rajskub moved to San Francisco before working on iconic shows Mr. Show with Bob and David, and 24. We also cover a Dental Update, Tom's never-ending cough/illness and a revisit from OMG Seriousalahhh Maria. Yes, she gets fired up! Get ready to MOMMY OUT. It's so cold in the D! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mommy Dome is a hot bed of hot topics on this episode. Christina and Tom discuss Nate Dogg's prolific career, brown talk, the most disgusting cookbook ever, Real Talk about Mob Wives, KC BBQ, the history of "KingFish", a new Mommy sing-a-long song, and more! Jeans up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wuss goin on here? Public dicks. How many have you seen? We recap a lifetime of sightings and the way they have affected us. Not only has the OG Ryan Sickler graced us with his feast-like presence we also have Tinas cousin Juli in the Mommy Dome. We talk about drugs that hit ya in a way you didn’t expect (NOT GOOD). We go over different types of Punk music (anarcho, crust, awful, etc.) and how much Christina still hates UB40 (the world’s greatest band?). What do you know about Sister Nancy? Prison dudes love booty and more! Go ahead and bookmark this as one of your favorite episodes yet. Cut holes in your jeans. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mommy's welcome Matt "The Full Charge" Fulchiron AKA The Concierge back to the Mommy Dome. They discuss Matt's upcoming move to Puerto Rico (New York City), Christina's love of Puerto Rican men and her equal disdain for buying anything nice. They share filthy sexy stories, a twist on Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, mind-blowing new Top Dog audio and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paul F. Tompkins enters the Mommy Dome for a fun-filled 2 hour show. They discuss self doubt, how poorly stand up clubs are run, an open dislike of Billy Joel (Christina) and Bruce Springsteen (Tom). The trio take a stab a new fill her up/seal her shut, dental updates, Top Dog audio, Would You Rather's, and much more! Rejoice! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don't remember what we talked about this episode. Hope you enjoy it.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Due to Blueban's incompentance this episode had to be re-recorded. Oh, Blueban! Unfortunately it means that a mommy is missing. Christina is out, but step-mommy, Ryan Sickler fills in and brings the fun, filth, and funny that he always does. Tom and Ryan discuss uncomfortable moments with fans, bizarre sexual experiences and requests, the NFL, the Name of The Year contest, a twitter prank, Would You Rather's and more!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh lovers of love and those who desire to be loved more, we think this is the episode for you. Dear friend, hilarious comedian and writer and LADY WHO WANTS YOUR TO TREAT HER LIKE ONE, Sarah Tiana, joins us in the mommy dome with advice that is so good we might just transcribe this episode and sell it as a book! Tiana is a natural fit in the dome because she is one of us - an old friend who just came to kick it. There's a lot of laughs, good times, and excellent insight from romance guru, Tiana on how to get a girl like her. Also, she will blow you (multiple times) if she likes you. Now are you ready to listen? Unbuckle your jeans and get ready to be her. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mommy's talk hip-hop, Yo! MTV Raps and the joys of rebellious, aggressive music. They discuss what women find beautiful in other women and how men differ (ie. Salma vs Penelope). Both Tom and Christina share recent stories of accidentally peeing on themselves, as well as their joint (rare) venture out to Korea town where eating, drinking, and singing took place. The origins of Where The Dudes At? is given in detail as well as dude-a-rific audio of Hot (gay) Nude Yoga. Top Dog, Would You Rather's and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christina and Tom discuss how the world is full of self-important assholes and Tom's recent run-in with two significant terrible people. A "Real Talk" segment features a woman with footlong toe nails and a man who insists on kissing a woman after she has vomited. Christina shares her own stories of hearing the neighbor have sex and Top Dog is back for more "Brown Talk"!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

DISCHARGE! Brandt Tobler is back and, as always, filling your ears with tales of crime and debauchery - we love it! PNC Tuesday is goin down. THAT, combined with "There's No Such Thing As Wednesday" is really making us reconsider our favorite day of the week. How do you make someone pay? Tobler shares a secret that will bring you to tears and make you PAY UP. Dental Update? Yup. Rim Jobs? Of course. Brown Talk? You know this, man. BIKES! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!

Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!