Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Does thinking about your family turn you on? Think harder. Now are you feeling it? Let's talk about something that your brain does a good job of blocking out.  Plus Tommy got food poisoning. Can you guess what type of food caused it? Can you guess where you shouldn't buy that type of food from? Bingo. Just as Tina and Tommy realized they could plug in more than one thing in their bedroom, they also have come to the conclusion that they can buy more than one clock. Hear the riveting story. AND even more unsolicited callers weigh in on the personality battle. Who do you find more charming?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot people have opinions on their dog food like they know what their dog can taste, thankfully one guy dove in for the rest of us and taste tested different dog foods. We have the amazing results.  Plus, single dad, Tom takes his son to the mall and gets some alarming looks. Would you look at Tommy that way?  A "You Know" champ comes to us from the least expected place AND it seems like the Personality Championship can be put to rest. We have audio for you to consider.  JEANS UP! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the second live podcast we did on this evening at The Irvine Improv. The inimitable Yoshi joins us for some hilarious and often jaw-dropping conversations.   *Please use HEADPHONES to listen to this episode. And of course, STANIMA.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're a lady and you're having trouble getting pregnant or perhaps you want some more excitement in bed, there has been a new development that is changing lives - LEECHES. You just need to shove them up inside of you.  Plus, aren't nail clippers incredible? This one dude thinks so and we happen to agree. We'd love to put the personality argument to rest, but both moms are still bickering. Isn't it obvious??? Plus, there's some big Chef John fans writing in and defending his UP-speak AND we have Would You Rather, Fill Her Up and MORE. There isn't enough denim in this world to match up with this episode.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not everyone can read the future by touching their worn panties, but this is Your Mom's House and we found someone that can.  Plus, never before heard audio of your two favorite mom's making love. Is this real?  We have Master Of Accents, a man throwing up that REALLY upsets Tina and Top Dog and Charo on the phone. Is there anything boring in this episode? Yup, we got some of that for you too.  JEAN forever.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mummy, here's the truth - we have sick jeans this week. Both of us. Please bear with us as we compete for the immunity championship.  We welcome all our witches and wiccans to approach this episode with caution as we delve into a dangerous spell.  Plus, who's the real elitist? Tommy has a pretty strong argument for Tina being a closet snob. What do you think? AND our cars both have smelly AC's - what's the deal? Is it a dead animal? Maybe F-A-R-T? And we honor the great athlete, Nelson Mandela.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are there any Jean's in the house? How about uncircumcised ones? Well, this is the episode for you. We have a very helpful man that teaches you how to clean it (it involves a wash cloth). Speaking of wash clothes, those are for poor people, right?  T Bunz ran into Kane a few weeks ago at the airport - do you think he yelled his infamous call in public? You'll just have to listen, Jean.  Plus, Tommy once saw an older lady touching her stuff in public at a bar and Jean thinks it's a questionable story. How about 'chu? Can a man have dinner with a lady that's not his wife without wanting to fill her up?  We really hope you have the STANIMA for this episode.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a crazy fat kid running North Korea and nobody is going to debate that fact.  Do you know all the U.S. Presidents? We certainly do not. There's a JV squad and we go thru it.  When first class disappoints you, what do you do? We complain, bitterly.  Plus, Jean has a very important dental update (cause she's a show off). And a LIVE F-A-R-T was captured on the show and it should settle the Fart Champ debate once and for all.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some people are just gross and then there's THIS lady. Whoa. And coming from us that's pretty special. She puts her finger, well, just listen.  Plus, if you had to say one of us is a better burper who would you choose, Gene or Jean?  There are some epic Dad Boners in this one and an absolute gift of a Hey Mommy order. And thankfully there's a nasal alien that breaks that down for us too.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dearest Jean,  This is a great podcast. Today we recap our lunch with Dan Pena and Tom's ill-fitting suit. Plus, Jean got an iWatch and boy does she love it (more than she loves Tom).  Some French guy wants to teach you about loving your lingam and the mommies saw Get Out - go see it! How often do you run into massage therapists that are also smokers? I guess Tom's just lucky.  All of that, plus vocal fry, dental updates and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're on a plane and you're bleeding from your tumors you just need people to MOVE. Jean and Tom break down their one night getaway and how Tom's browns have changed for the better since he cut sugar (mostly).  Plus Tina gets grossed out by a gagging video and we have some new really boring stuff to play for you.  Some fashion is absurd and we gladly make fun of it. How do some guys tolerate ball kicks? Are you one of those guys? could you drop us a line?  We are more than honored that the President spoke our name. Please enjoy these fresh pressed jeans.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Live from the Irvine Improv with 500 mommies in the stands. Let er rip! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How much sausage do you need to feed your whole family? What if there are some big women in it? Probably more, right? Would you leave an angry voicemail about it?    This episode has Gucci Mane, bloody yoga pants, boring videos and the SECRET to a Double Pipe Classic? WHAT?!?! yeah. Listen.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you haven't ever seen a whale penis, you don't size and you don't know Penis.  Tommy hung out with Top Dog and Charo this weekend and he has tales to tell.  Plus Gene had a dream that Tommy was bad and now she's mad at him in real life. Does this nonsense happen in your life as well?  Tina's phone got a new text. Anyone interested in DRUGS?!?!  AND, more boring videos, Hey Mommy and much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When someone goes on strike you know they mean business. This lady is going on strike for something so important we can't actually spell out what it is (It's Gross and comes out of a man's penis).  We step in to Studio G with Super Dad Nerd, G.  We wear our awesome new Pup Masks as we are always heightening our sense of smell.  Plus absolutely AMAZE music from so many of you. We're putting Bitsy on a diet and SO much more.  Thanks, Jeans.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices