In the Loop with Andy Andrews

On this week’s episode, I give some advice to a family with two boys gifted in different ways, and I give suggestions on how the parents can help guide them to the right career paths.   My wife says I have been gifted with being able to remember every single thing I’ve ever seen or heard, and I do have one very odd gift that I will display on occasion. I can listen to someone and repeat almost instantly what they are saying with some of the inflections and barely miss a beat. My teachers used to say my mouth could run by itself.   Isn't it odd how the same parents can raise children the same way, but they still can turn out so different? I try to direct my boys toward thinking about the benefits of being brothers. “You will always have each other, and being different is a good thing. You can fill the empty spaces that the other one has.”   When it comes to picking a career path, take a breath. When I was twenty, I was living under a pier. I’m not saying that they shouldn’t be working, but I thought I was supposed to be a veterinarian, then a comedian, then a businessperson, now… You could probably say about me that I haven’t identified a main career path yet.   For teens and young adults having trouble identifying the direction they want to go in, ask them these questions (if it won’t discourage them): What is it that you just love, and if money were no object what would you get up and do everyday? What value does that have for other people? And when you figure that out, prove it by getting out there and doing it. If you can do this, you will never be without work again.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}  

On this week’s episode, we have Patsy Clairmont back in the studio to talk about her new book Twirl, and share some personal stories.   A lot of people have ideas but it’s rare the people can actually pull them off. Patsy brings people into her home who need to do something creative in their lives. It’s a planned way of getting in touch with the stories that have been sitting inside you for years.   Patsy’s battle against agoraphobia: I was an agoraphobic by the time I hit my early twenties and began to let my emotions rule my choices. Once I learned I could make a choice in spite of my unstable emotions, then I began to find solid ground. That was a tremendous moment of discovery.   “You have been created with a will that is stronger then your emotions.” I tripped and messed up over and over but I was getting stronger and started having more success. I realized that a lot of my thoughts came out of the disuse and the imbalance of my own metal condition rather than from scripture. When agoraphobics come to me and say, “What do I do?” I say, “It’s not going to sound like the good news—but trust me, it is. It will be the hardest work you’ve ever done, but what you will get from it will be your greatest reward. You’ll find your sanity and discover your dignity.”   Patsy’s new book, Twirl, just came out. When I was a little girl, my daddy used to twirl me around and around, and I would be full of wonder. I would get up, run to him and say, “Do it again, Daddy. Twirl me.” What I find in life is we can loose track of ourselves in the business. We forget how we are in our attempt to be all things to all people. What I hope to do with Twirl is to give ideas to people of how to self-nurture and take responsibility for themselves. The better condition you’re in, the more value you will have to offer another person. When you’re running on an empty tank, you’re thinking thin thoughts; but when you’re storing up good stuff, you can’t wait to give to another life.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, we have Crystal Paine, “THE Money Saving Mom,” in our studio to answer a few questions about how her business has grown into what it is today.   How did this all get started? My husband and I committed to stay out of debt while he went to law school. We were literally living on beans and rice, but we started finding ways to stretch our dollars because we had to. I was a new mom and started blogging about frugal topics, and there was a lot of interest from outside people.   How did it all evolve into what it is today? I had already established myself as an expert with frugal living. Within 3 months we had 16 thousand views on the blog, and within a year we were making a full time income off blog. Today we have about 1.5 million unique visitors to the site per month.   How did the book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, come about? The book was a result of two things… People telling me they were just trying to survive and figure out how to get their life in order My own personal journey of hitting rock bottom and the steps I took to climb out of that pit.   What are some of the things you’ve had to overcome? Humbling myself and bringing on help in my business and at home. Learning how to respond with grace to criticism.   “My long-term vision is to impact as many lives and help as many people to get their finances and life in order so they can live their life on purpose and influence their communities and ultimately the world.”   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on finding role models when none are present in your life.   If you’re having a hard time finding role models, then you’re already on the right track because you’ve identified the need to seek out others.   How do you find somebody to be mentored by? Get biographies and read about people. You will learn from their great decisions and mistakes. Compare and contrast what you’re reading with what you’re seeing around you.   I urge you to take notes on people. Observe the people you see in your community or even when you travel. Take note of how others treat people and the reactions they get back. Take note of body language and actions. There is so much you can learn from observing all kinds of people.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question about the characteristics of a successful coach.   I speak and write but I also have a couple of clients, including football teams. My criteria for taking on a client: I’ve got to like them. I have to be convinced that their belief level is at a point where they can accomplish great things. Their ability to process information and shift on the fly is also important.   People can only achieve to the level that they really believe.   To me, the characteristics of a successful coach are: They have a high level of belief in what they do and what they can accomplish. No matter their age or past success, they’re always looking to expand and push the boundaries of what they already know. A lot of people think they’re a little crazy. I don’t mean they lose their temper or anything—I mean people look at them and don’t understand why they do what they do. They accept the “Jones’ Secret Principle of Extraordinary Achievement.” If you’re doing what everybody else is doing, you’re probably doing something wrong.   Determine the best result that could ever possibly happen, then backup and design methods specific to that result.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}  

On this week’s episode, we have very special guest Patsy Clairmont in the studio to talk about her life and have some laughs.   I was on tour with Patsy for three years while touring with Women of Faith. If I kept a list of my favorite speakers, I don’t know if it would be her or Zig Ziglar at the top. I can honesty say, professionally, watching her speak was the best experience I’ve ever had.   Listen in to hear Patsy talk about the small group workshop in her home, and tell stories about finding creativity (including a time when someone called her “the worst student I’ve ever had”).   Go to PatsyClairmont.com and check out Shaking Your Tree to hear more from Pasty on how she can help you develop creativity and confidence.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}  

On this week’s episode, I respond to a listener question about discussing the topic of depression and suicide prevention.   This week’s topic comes from a father who lost his daughter to suicide in a nationally televised story. I know it must be one of the hardest things in the world when somebody you love so deeply makes a decision to do this. I heard in your letter that she left behind two boys, 3 & 7. Navigating this for them is going to be tough. As they get older, they will need your presence and your son-in-law’s guidance.   You may have heard people or doctors say this kind of thing runs in families. I’m not a medical doctor, so I can’t speak to the actual working of the brain. But I take a different view. I think when a family member commits suicide, it brings that up as an option. Unless it’s dealt with, I think other family members can think, “well, so-and-so did this, and this is how they dealt with that.”   The tough thing about this will be to separate your daughter from the act and remember the love that she had. I can imagine that as sad as you are about this, you might be a little mad too for her child and husband. I really feel like forgiveness is the reset button that needs to be pushed here.   I want you to be very aware of how grateful you can be for her life. I am sure there are many moments you can call upon that were times of joy and excitement that she added to your life. In the midst of your sorrow, remember to be grateful for that gift of her life and what it meant to you, your wife, and so many other people.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I talk about a very unusual summer event that occurs a few times a year on the shore of Mobile Bay. Something very unique happened earlier this week while at a book signing in Fairhope, Alabama.  There is a 15-mile stretch on the eastern shore of Mobile Bay. In the late summer on a still night between two and five in the morning, fish pile up on the shore for several hundred yards. I’m talking thousands. Flounder, Whiting, Mullet, Shrimp, and more. This is only one place in the world this happens and it is called a “Jubilee.”   I am shocked by how many people read The Noticer Returns and think “Jubilee” is something I made up. This has been going on for centuries. Years ago they had bells on the porches of the houses along the bay to let the community know when the phenomenon was occurring.  The fish are almost stunned or asleep. It will last for an hour or two and then they’ll wake up and swim back into the gulf. People will fill their ice chests and have fish for a year.   It’s an odd thing in the world where someone’s influence or money can buy what whatever they want. You got enough money or influence and you could sit down with the president for dinner or have Kenny Chesney play a show in your backyard. There is not a single way you could ever reserve a time to go see a Jubilee. It is such a fascinating thing, but it kills me because I’ve never seen one.   If you haven’t read The Noticer Returns and want to hear an amazing story involving a jubilee and how it impacted the lives of several people, The Noticer Returns   Andy will also be having a parenting conference at Wiregrass Church Sunday September 21, 2014 at 7 pm. This is a free event, but you will need tickets, as is it limited to only 1500 attendees, Click here for more info. (It’s the third bullet point on the bottom right of the site.)   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I address a listener question on the distinction between coaching and mentoring. The question we received is, “What are the differences between coaching and mentoring, and does the distinction really matter?” I think the distinction does matter, at least financially. Mentoring is less in your face, and it’s a little more guidance oriented. When a specific relationship is outlined and you have a detailed goal, you are getting into the coaching area.   I’ve been mentored by people that don’t know it and people who are already dead. George Washington Carver and Joshua Chamberlain have been mentors for me — people who have been written about or have a large volume of work that I can follow. The length of time is a defining feature. I could coach you for 15 minutes, but mentoring is an ongoing process.   A buddy of mine a few years ago told me that his mom left him some money, and he was thinking about hiring a person he knows as a financial planner. I asked how much money the financial planner made, and he said it was a lot like himself. Wouldn’t you want someone with a higher level of financial success to guide the results you are after?   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I address a listener question about my perspective on finding peace when dealing with death.  This topic was on my mind when I was writing The Noticer Returns. When I wrote this book, I wanted to have Jones deal with several things that people have a hard time with. I wanted to handle this subject with sensitivity, but in a way that answers questions and gives people real comfort. Listen in as I answer this question by reading a full chapter from The Noticer Returns. Get your full version of The Noticer Returns for a more thorough answer to this question. To get your own copy now, just click here. Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on how to turn big powerful thoughts into smaller, concise statements so they can be clearly communicated to others. Before getting into that, we have a quick announcement. There are not a whole whole lot of opportunities for ticketed events to hear me speak. Crossroads Church in Oklahoma City is holding the 2014 Leadership Conference with Jon Acuff, Dr. Mark Rutland, and myself on September 26th, 2014.  We’ve all heard the statements: Average people compare themselves with other people. High achievers compare themselves with their potential. There is a clue in that statement as to what we should be doing to take these big ideas and turn them into little steps. Most of us are so consumed with the little steps that we hope the big thing will manifest itself.  It is a common mistake for people to allow methods to determine their possible results. I urge you to turn this idea on its head. If you want to be clear and concise with those little things and create a huge picture, you need to determine the best possible result you can achieve. Once you have that clearly defined, you can quit thinking about it so hard. Now you can go back and devise the methods that will take you there.  Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I share my perspective on how to talk to your kids when they are being to hard on themselves and falling apart.  As parents, it is crucial that we are vulnerable about our pasts. Some kids need to know another person has experienced the same problems as they have. Obviously we’ve forgotten what being 12 feels like, but we can try to imagine how things are going on in their minds. My son, Adam, is very sensitive and tends to think about things that might not bother his older brother.   His feelings don’t get hurt easily, but he is very aware of what other people are feeling—and he tends to focus on areas where he’s not doing so well.  I encourage you to help your child understand that we are all in the same boat together. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and you can always find someone better than you. Talk to your children about how they act, walk, and talk—and try to instill these habits in their lives. I recently heard a pastor say to the church’s youth, “Sometimes God will give you a weakness that you really have to struggle with, and it will become a strength.” I told Adam a story about two football teams. The first team had athletes that didn’t have to work hard to beat the other team every year. One year the second team decided to start lifting weights and working out harder than ever. The first time they played the really good team again, they lost worse than before because their bodies were sore. But the next year after sticking with the workouts, they creamed the other team. The first team decided to start working out harder, but they were already too far behind. Make sure to check out the free parenting videos on the website. There’s a bunch of great information on how to talk to your kids. Here’s a link, so you don’t have to go hunting: Click here Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I respond to a question about reading biographies to children and my thoughts on fiction. I would read biographies to the boys when they were younger and paraphrase to make it more age-appropriate.      With biographies you can foster an interest in history and good lessons.      Non-Fiction will inform and teach, and I believe it is important to be able to explain why a certain thing will work.  I find it weird when people have a sort of snobbery toward fiction.      When you read fiction, it will ignite your imagination in a way that nonfiction cannot do.      It’s knowledge and imagination that drives the great breakthroughs on our planet.      You need both to create a successful life. You want the kind of fiction that sparks the right kind of imagination.      Be careful what you and your children are reading.      Your imagination is so crucial to making a great living, having awesome relationships, and being a great parent or spouse. The Kid Who Changed the World is a clever telling of how much we all mean to each other and the difference we can make, while also teaching history. Click here to learn how to get your own copy of The Kid Who Changed the World. Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews    

On this week’s episode, I discuss a popular listener question: “What should you provide for your kids, and what should they have to work for?” Some parents have a cut and dry answer for that, but I don’t. My answer changes depending on what’s going on. It’s according to how they are behaving. If I sense a spirit of gratefulness, then there are more things that I will handle for them. A lot of the time it’s not even things they are aware of.  The one thing that can truly stop it in a heartbeat is if I sense a spirit of expectation or a lack of gratefulness. Then it’s a totally different ballgame. There was a time last week that I needed to drive Austin around to several locations for the business he has started.  Something distracting was happening when we got home, and a few minutes later I was aware that Austin had not thanked me for doing that for him. I used this situation to explain to him that as he grew older, life would become more chaotic and there will be more occasions to forget how to act. People want to be around grateful people, and it’s a desirable quality in an employee or boss. I recently saw a kid who got a brand new BMW on his 16th birthday. At some point that car is going to wear out. And if the parents aren’t going to buy him another car when he’s older, then that may be the nicest car he ever has. I see young adults all the time who are disappointed with their life, because the best car they ever drove, place they lived, or most fun they had was when they were a kid. As they become more disappointed, it affects how they act. And then their performance level is affected at work. Over time, they become more and more likely never to have that BMW again.  I’ve elaborated on this topic in a free 4-video series I did on smart parenting. I’d love for you to get to watch it! These short videos cover must-know information for parents. In seconds, they could change your kids’ lives forever. Click here for free instant access to the videos. Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews  

On this week’s episode, I respond to a listener question about handshake etiquette for girls. I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong,” but I do think there is a “best.” There are a couple of schools of thought here: One is the old-school “debutant” school of thought: Women go to college to find a husband. Everything a woman does should be geared toward a wife and homemaker. I don’t know if there is anything more important than that, but there are definitely other things that may be equally important. With the way our world works today, I don’t think a woman shaking hands should offend anyone. For the most part, professional women shake hands. What looks really strange, though, is when a woman doesn’t know what to do. I’ve taught my boys that there are many people who will not expect a handshake from them because of their age. I see many surprised (and delighted) faces when by boys reach their hands out and say, “nice to meet you” to adults. To a huge degree, how you treat your wife or husband will create a baseline for your children’s expectations as they grow up. I’ve elaborated on this topic in a free 4-video series I did on smart parenting. I’d love for you to get to watch it! These short videos cover must-know information for parents. In seconds, they could change your kids’ lives forever. Click here for free instant access to the videos. Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews