In the Loop with Andy Andrews

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on how teens’ social media accounts affect their life and their employability.   You’ve heard me talk about how we’re misinformed about change. There are two things that have to be there with every single change. What’s in it for me? Proof beyond a reasonable doubt. It is critical that you understand how change occurs.   The guidelines for social media are going to be different for different people. Knowing that, what we do want is the best for everybody. The one thing that separates 100% great results from scattered results is explaining why we do things this way. One of the first things you want to do with your kids is make sure they know what you want their life to be like when they’re an adult. Build stories and examples.   I talk to a lot of people who are in the position of hiring and firing. When a company puts out word that they are hiring, they sometimes get 10’s or even 100’s of applications. Somebody will knock it down to the top people by just looking at the applicants’ social media profiles for obvious reasons not to hire someone (cursing, nudity, etc.). They will then knock it down to a few people after having personal interviews. Now they are down to the best people and just need to find a reason to pull someone.   Companies are looking for someone that is going to represent them outside of work. Let’s say 9 years ago you had your picture taken with your hat on backwards. We know that having a hat on backwards is not something bad or sinful, but 20% of people may think that’s not a good look. While they know you wouldn’t be wearing your hat backwards at work, they may wonder if it’s still the way you present yourself to people. Since they have to cut someone, something as little as that could be the difference between you starting at a company and you not having a job.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I talk about the myths that keep us living in fear, and how to stop anxiety from ruling our lives.   The key to unlocking our confidence is examining our fear. If you could put people on a scale and see the level of fear in their lives, I am convinced smart people would be on the higher end of the scale. Smarter people have bigger imaginations, and possibly more opportunities for fear. If you know what fear is, you can determine the effect it has on your life. Fear is nothing but the misuse of the creative imagination that has been put in you.   In The Noticer, there is a section that is based on a real study of what’s really happening during our episodes of stress and anxiety. 40% of what you worry about will never happen. 30% has already happened and is in the past. 12% has to do with totally needless imaginings. 10% involves petty little things about what other people think. 8% was left for legitimate concerns, and most of them we actually have control over—but we’re using all our energy worrying about the other things.   You are in control—so direct your imagination to things that excite you.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on how to teach a child to tell a good story in a conversational setting.   The ability to tell a great story is extremely valuable in all phases of life. When we train ourselves to tell a good story, we become more engaging to our peers, to authority figures, and to people we are in authority over. Being well liked by people can lead to a great number of additional opportunities. So we not only need to train our children to tell great stories, we need to train ourselves to tell great stories.   First, we need to train our kids to talk to all kinds of people. To train your child to tell a good story or anecdote, it’s very important that they watch adults tell good stories and anecdotes in conversational settings. Most kids grow up on the outside of those conversations. They don’t get to listen because the parents do not give them the opportunity to listen. Let them see adults in conversations. They tend not to act appropriately if they haven’t seen mature conversations before.   Encourage them to read. People who read books will learn things that fire their imaginations, and they’ll be able to bring those things into conversations beyond the books. People who watch TV generally talk about TV shows or the stars of TV shows. One of the best ways to learn how to communicate is by reading a book. Teach your kids to be good at learning in person when you’re with them, or when they are learning by themselves (when all they have is a book).   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com com/AndyAndrews com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I answer a question on how to help a child when they’re having a tough time making friends.    How can you help when they say, “No one wants to be my friend?” It’s a focusing process. Our thinking is at the foundation of everything. It determines our choices, and everything about us.    When people are disgruntled or depressed, they’re thinking more about themselves. They aren’t thinking about whom they can serve and help. If you’re child is sad or scared about making friends or going over to a friend’s house, focus their mind on the fun activities or opportunities they have. I wouldn’t talk to your child about why no one wants to be his or her friend. Instead, direct their thinking to how they can be the greatest friend in the class.    Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com com/AndyAndrews com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I address a listener question on the questions I ask when first going into a consulting situation.   There are a couple things I’m looking for when deciding if I’ll take on a client. They have to be somebody that I like and connect with. They must have a great level of belief in their company or team.   You have to ask the questions that will lead you to their level of belief. I rarely ask, “What are your goals?” because people will lie or tell you what they think you want to hear. Ask, “What you we trying to do here?” Listen carefully to see what their level of belief is and what they ultimately want to accomplish. This can apply to all relationships: family, neighbors, teams, colleagues etc…   You’re going to have to come up with your own questions according to what you’re after and the people you are dealing with. If you’re going to be a guide, you have to see the future. You first need to find out where they want to be, so you can help lead them to it. Ask, “If you had a magic wand and could do anything you want, what would you do in this area?”   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I discuss whether transparency helps or hurts your leadership potential.   I’m in a period of learning a ton right now. When it comes to my boys, I want them to understand that I’m still struggling to be wise in my choices and thinking everyday. We’ve heard leaders promise to be transparent and we see varying degrees of their choice to pulling that off. If you declare your intention to be transparent and you’re obviously not, then that hurts your leadership. Other than that, I do not see how transparency can hurt your leadership—UNLESS it reveals something about you that makes you not worthy of following. (details on what makes someone unworthy of following available in podcast)   As a leader, we’re human and we’re going to mess up. If you know the difference between a choice and a mistake, and you handle both in a proper way, your leadership will grow by leaps and bounds. When a choice has been made, only true remorse and “Will you forgive me?” can press the reset button. Would you rather follow somebody who knows how to get back on track when they mess up, or somebody who either bluffs their way through life or doesn’t understand where the track is to begin with? A good leader knows when they’re off track, they know why they got off track (whether they made a mistake, or whether they chose to), and they know how to handle each situation the right way.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I discuss the little-known benefit of the hard times in our lives—and how my greatest struggles led me to my most important realizations.   During the time I was living under the pier and reading biographies, I was graphing out in my mind what had worked to make these people turn out like they did. I was at a point in my life when I had a tough time with, “Is there more?” I thought, were these people born this way, or was it something they did? What did they do and how long did it take them to do it? After reading that many of them, you start to realize the things these people have in common. I realized they weren’t habits, or theories, or really even mine. But I saw that they worked every time, and that they were principles. I began to think what happens to somebody who knows all seven?   A lot of people don’t understand there is huge value in tough times. To back this up this statement, my idea for the Seven Decisions came from a horrible time in my own life. I would not have read these biographies had I not been living under a pier. When you’re struggling in a certain area, you build muscle in that area. For the rest of your life, you are able to call upon that muscle. Tough times can often force us into different ways of thinking.   The situations that have been the biggest wins for me have been because I was forced to think differently. If everything were always in our control, none of us would ever struggle. The “worst” thing can actually turn out to be the greatest thing that ever happened to you, but ONLY if you allow it.   If you know people who would benefit from Andy’s books or materials, this episode would be a great one to share. It’s a great entry point to get people up to speed on who Andy is and what he wants to help you accomplish. Take a moment and forward this episode to a friend!   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

In previous episodes, I’ve talked about how you can only achieve the level of success that you truly believe. This week, I’ll tell you how you can expand this level of belief.   When you have an expanded level of belief in yourself, it allows you a different level of belief in others. Money is a very easy way to provide a gauge. I’ve found that if you can expand your level of belief in other areas, your money goes up—largely because you have become more valuable to other people.   Sometimes people ask if I really believe that anyone can be successful. I don’t just believe it. I know you can. I know that because I was the guy in the ditch. Do you think God made any person thinking they’ll never be able to do anything, or thinking they’ll be a failure from the beginning? No.   There is a huge level of belief that you can grab ahold of, but it will come about by shaping how you think. Your beliefs are totally governed by how you think. How you think is determined by what you subject yourself to (books, movies, people you spend time with). Choose wisely what goes into your mind and your presence.   Your level of belief will not be expanded in a day. It will be expanded daily. I think expanding your belief has to do with your relationship with God and your purpose. You should spend time determining what will move you forward and what things you can ease out of your life.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I talk about passion, procrastination, and how they will shape your future. I believe passion is a lot like momentum. •When you have momentum, you perform better than normal. •You produce at a level far beyond what you normally would if we measured you. •When you lack momentum, you produce at a lower level than normal. •People don’t generally stay on a level playing field. They either have momentum or they don’t. I see people who have amazing abilities and opportunities but they won’t get out of their own way. •They will not discipline themselves. •Overcoming procrastination is saying, “I’m not going to live my life according to a feeling. I’m not going to let a feeling dictate the way I act. Instead, I’m going to let the way I act dictate my feelings.” What do you like to do more than anything in the world? •Can you make yourself do something you don’t want to do for a little while to get something you’d like to have for the rest of your life? •Would it be worth it to you if for three years you never do some things that you like to do, but at the end of those three years you can do whatever you want whenever you want? Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! •Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY •E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com •Facebook.com/AndyAndrews   •Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, David Loy has several holiday related questions for Andy,   Listen in to hear Andy’s answers to: What is your favorite Christmas carol? Who is the most unique family member from your childhood? What’s your favorite Thanksgiving and New Years food? What’s your favorite indoor and outdoor holiday activities? Do you own any tacky pieces of holiday clothing? What’s your favorite tradition from when you were a kid? What’s the topper on your tree? What is your favorite gift you’ve ever received? What’s the best gift you’ve ever given?   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

In this episode, I talk about selfishness, and how it can keep you and everyone around you from growing.   One of the top three most important things Jones ever told me was, “Most people live their entire lives and never understand that you can’t always believe everything you think.” I received a call a few months ago from a company that lost one of their executives to another company offering more money, and it was a big problem. The company let him go because they wouldn’t match the offer for a reason that they may think is true, but it’s not. I think if Moses spent more time on the mountain he would have come back with the 11th decision, “Thou shalt not kid thyself.”   The truth isn’t that they couldn’t match the offer; the truth is that they chose not to match the offer. The deeper issue is… what is in your belief system or plans for the future that causes you to choose not to match that offer? Did that person start developing bad habits or peak with what they were bringing to the company?   You want to increase your value, but watch the people you work with and keep an eye on their value. As an example let’s say that you’ve made $100,000 for many years. There is an opportunity to bring someone new to the team, but they will be making $350,000. In turn, they bring enough value to raise your salary to $175,000. Don’t let jealousy get in the way of something that could be great for the company and great for you. The bottom line is there are many ways to increase your value.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I discuss when to eliminate negative people from your life.   We hear that we need to eliminate negative people from our lives. Yet, if we know that we are consistently negative, we certainly hope everybody is not eliminating us.   What if Jones eliminated negative people from his life? He would have certainly eliminated me. But Jones didn’t have to consider dropping me from his life. He had moved so far beyond where I was that I had no influence on him at all. His challenge with me was figuring out how to say things to me so that I could understand them and so they would resonate with me.   When I was living under the pier, I really needed to eliminate the negative influences in my life. I had to determine which people always acted negatively. If they were both looking and thinking, I could be friends with those people safely. There are people at a very high level of success, and I’m looking to spend more time with them and watch them carefully. There are also some people who are just beginning that journey. Those people would not affect me in a negative way, and maybe I could be a Jones to them.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on staying positive day in and day out.   We’ve talked about this a lot but I really believe that our thinking is the foundation of everything that we become. It’s what we accomplish. It’s who we are. It’s the family we raise. It’s the society in which we live.   Frankly, I’m not always positive. It’s something that I want to be, but I don’t want to be an idiot. I want to be positive because I’ve figured out the version of the truth that I want to live my life with. What I mean by “version of the truth” is that sometimes, people are able to look at the same thing and get two totally conclusions, but in a way both of them are true.   A huge thing for me is to have a long view of time. A long view of time will generally yield a more positive way of looking at things that is more hopeful, more peaceful for you and your family, and absolutely true. When you have a long view of time, you can see the truth easier.   If you feel people are looking to you for everything, I would imagine it’s because you’ve been successful in the past at providing perspective about a situation that was true. Jones always told me that if a perspective is well thought out and true, it is life changing. In crazy moments, you have to go back to the truth.   There are huge benefits to issues, problems, and failures. You are building a story. A story will tell you the truth about what happened. What happened will yield a historical record. A historical record produces a longer view of time. And a longer view of time will reveal how you really need to handle something.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on the difference between discipline and punishment.   Before getting into that I have a quick story: A few weeks ago, I was getting ready to head out of town and Polly asked, “Have you seen Carver?” Now he’s a huge standard black poodle, and it’s unusual not to see him for a few hours. As I’m about to leave, Polly says that they found him. He was under the garage with Skippy, our outdoor cat. It turns out the cat was sick, and Carver been under there with it for hours taking care of it. Polly took Skippy to the vet and he didn’t make it, but it’s amazing how intelligent these dogs can be. These moments can be times to talk to your kids about death, and give them comfort with how small of an amount of time they will be without someone in the grand scheme of eternity.   So, what is the difference between discipline and punishment? Discipline is what you are creating in a child. Punishment is a necessary part of discipline to get to an end result that you want, which is that this person doesn’t have to be punished or disciplined again because they now understand the concept of self-discipline. King Solomon said, “Discipline a child while he is young, or YOU will ruin his life.”   You want to make sure that a child knows to obey now, and if they are outside the circle of discipline then there will be a punishment. When you make sure the child knows to obey, there will come a time that you can say, “stop” and they stop. Subconsciously, this child is aware that they stopped but that they still want to continue moving forward. Subconsciously, this child is beginning to connect that they can make themselves do something that they don’t want to do, to get a result they want…not be punished. That is the very beginning of a thought process leading to self-discipline.   Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

On this week’s episode, I discuss money and the influence it should have on your parenting style.   How does the amount of money you have (or don’t have) affect your parenting style? Obviously both can create issues and both have to do with the thinking of the parents. If you have more money, there are more places you can go or vacation, but that stuff isn’t necessary under the umbrella of “parenting.” Our goal is to raise kids who become great adults. I’ve seen situations where having a lot of money created more problems with kids than situations where money was scarce.    Austin just turned 15, and he was aware at 10 years old that he would be buying his own car.   I’ve talked with him a lot about why it is important for him.  He understands that we are after him having an awesome adult life.    For a child to become a great adult, it’s easier to reach your potential if you have the confidence that you are capable of doing things yourself.  That will give you some pride (not in the egotistical way).  And generally, if you buy a car yourself, you take better care of it.    As far as parenting, I really believe that our quality time, and even our gifts, do NOT have to be about having money.    I urge you to find something that your kids love to do, that you can not only do with them, but it’s also something that causes you to wait.  If you can somehow get them interested in the woods and the water, that will bring a lot of opportunities to sit.  It teaches us to be patient and that we don’t always catch something, but we can always have an awesome time. Catching something is just a bonus.  The last thing about this is you want to have time with your children that they can sit and think of questions to ask you and you can sit and think about your answers. That doesn’t come in any other setting.    Questions for Listeners Do you have a question? Call in and your question might be featured on the show! Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews Twitter.com/AndyAndrews