Summary: <p>Announcement: Next week I will be having the amazing <strong>ALISON ARMSTRONG</strong> on the podcast!!! Make sure you are subscribed because it’s going to be split over two episodes and you are not going to want to miss this interview.</p> <p>I recorded an episode a while back called <em>“Shame Won’t Make You a Better Wife.”</em> <a href="https://anchor.fm/firstyearmarried/episodes/Ep--8---Shame-Wont-Make-You-A-Better-Wife-e33jkj"><strong>Episode 8</strong></a></p> <p>You need to hear it again.</p> <p>Because I keep seeing you all using the idea of self-improvement as a way of attacking yourself and your self-worth. You are weaponizing self-control. <em>Against yourself.</em></p> <p><strong>How you know you’re doing it:</strong></p> <ol> <li>You are more conscious of what you’re doing wrong than what you’re doing right.<br> </li> <li>The Perfect Wife has shown up.<br> </li> <li>Your emotional reactions seem to be worse than makes sense.<br> </li> <li>You aren’t making progress.<br> </li> </ol> <p>When we are so down on ourselves and then trying to show up as the perfect wife, it’s totally inauthentic.</p> <p><strong>What to do about it.</strong></p> <ol> <li>Name the shame. Thank it for its contribution.<br> </li> <li>Consider life without shame. (Sidenote: accidental spending and kids nutrition sabbatical)<br> </li> <li>Consider that your actions may be coming from a place of fear or insecurity. Speak those out loud. See the reverse of them.<br> </li> <li>Clarify your vision as you would if you were speaking to a beloved younger friend.<br> </li> <li>Consider what you would need to believe, truly believe, to make a step towards that vision.<br> </li> </ol>
