Summary: <p>This week we’re going to revisit a familiar topic and take the work further.</p> <p>What is happening when you are feeling hurt?</p> <p>Take the last time you were hurt (or disappointed, angry, frustrated…) with your husband and try to remember the specific details.</p> <p>Consider that the reason that you were upset was that he wasn’t doing what you wanted him to be doing.</p> <p>Try to identify what you DID want him to do. What was your plan or rule book for how he should behave?</p> <p>But here’s the model.</p> <p>You’re crying and he’s texting.</p> <p>If he loved me, he’d be hugging me and taking care of me.</p> <p>So you feel hurt, rejected, and maybe angry (much safer)</p> <p>Here’s the reality:</p> <p>Him texting when you are crying says nothing about his love for you.</p> <p>So why are you hurt?</p> <p>ONLY because of the thought you had about it.</p> <p>We’re going to figure out this week how to find an alternative, how to clarify our vision, and how to experience the relationship we want.</p> <p>Unconditional love is on YOU. Leave him out of it! You want a loving relationship? LOVE HIM. And not when he’s adorable and considerate. Love him when he’s a bear. Love him when he’s obnoxious.</p> <p>Here are some thoughts that have really helped me with this...</p> <p>--I love being in love</p> <p>--I love being surprised by him</p> <p>--He’s so different, so foreign to me, just when I think I know him he surprises me</p> <p>Get a buddy, share this episode, and help each other use this information. It can be hard to observe our own brains sometimes. To work with me on-on-one, you can email me at <a href="mailto:kayla@kaylalevin.com"><u>kayla@kaylalevin.com</u></a> or fill out the form at <a href="https://firstyearmarried.com/"><u>firstyearmarried.com</u></a> and I’ll send you my booking calendar.</p> <p>For more ideas about the "rule book" (or the "manual") check out Brooke Castillo's podcast, <a href="https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/11/">The Life Coach School Podcast</a>.</p>
