Take Me to the River

Summary: Teriyaki Boy, owner of a chain of NYC Japanese fast food restaurants, is called in response to one of the POTG Radio hosts having been sick from the food recently. Apparently, Teriyaki Boy knows New York's own East River, who tries to be civil at first but can't resist being filthy and controversial. Teriyaki Boy also apparently dated Paris Hilton, who calls.\n Adding to the fray with the East River and Teriyaki Boy, TV icons Arnold and Webster call to debate Teriyaki Boy's claim that he is immortal. They believe only they are immortal. The US Coast Guard is called in, and plans hatch to bring some of the East River's water to Egypt, now run by Elton John.\n You'll also hear from casino maven Rhinestone Ugluliat, and from wrestlers Squid Man and John the Baptist, members of billionaire Lipton LaMask's elite wrestling circuit. LaMask enjoys eating the embryos of species not known to science outside the circle of his personal hunters, but on this call had one lodged in his throat, a donut-shaped amoeba. His secretary does some of the talking for him at first before falling in love/hate with Rhinestone.