Summary: Control, power and confidence are discussed in this episode. Famed self-help guru Eric Von Sydow a.k.a. Hypontica joins the podcast. Tom and Adrian" pose questions about dating and figuring out when one is ready to date. Eric has 20 years of diverse experience running strip clubs and helping people and relationships. He shares tips about “the Inner Game”, recovery from emotional trauma, and how he manages members of Seal teams when things get out of hand. "Chaos keeps you on your toes". Adrian and Eric discuss hypnosis and Hoʻoponopono. And how some of Eric’s earlier work helped Adrian transition out of marriage. Eric also tells about being in an open relationship and breaking up with an ex-girlfriend. and discusses the value of going through pain and the importance of closure even in the context of low levels of communication. Eric discusses the error of giving away your manhood and surrendering your power. He says it’s about leadership and surrendering the role of leader. Eric says women become resentful of having to take the lead. Adrian reflects on the value of taking ownership of identity and Eric shares the power of owning the vision and the tragedy of surrendering the vision small piece by small piece. Eric challenges the listener around knowing where their identity is centered and how that gets tested. Tom adds that the power in a relationship seems to be a function of proactivity vs. reactivity- that reactivity requires less effort and turns to boredom. Eric makes a strong case for self-love driving the ability to form meaningful relationship and shares tips for self-actualization, including being the person you want to be first. A self audit becomes critical to self-development. He also shares some tips for taking responsibilities, for vision, and acknowledging where you are and leaving victimhood behind. Eric promotes practical use of dating sites, advocates for a short rebound after divorce , and to be as social as possible as quickly as possible. He makes the point that there is more than one way to grieve. Adrian notes that the hard choice and the right choice are often the same. Eric reinforces the simplicity associated with choosing your path and owning the responsibility of your choices as opposed to being locked-in by fear of the unknown or fear of social rejection. Eric discusses methods of confronting fears in order to break out of personal ruts. Everyone discusses the meanings and distinctions of good and bad stress. and Eric confirms the importance of one’s own opinion of themselves relative to the opinion of others. He also discusses the limits of effort and the importance of systems to assessing efforts put forward to a given outcome. Brain-hacks and other efforts are discussed in order to take ownership of goals to optimize personal systems. A transcript is available here.
