Summary: The 3rd movie in a series is what turns a set of movies into a movie franchise, and signifies the ultimate attempt to squeeze every last drop of profit without having to come up with any original ideas. There are some threequels that are well thought out, and brilliantly accentuate a franchise, leaving an indelible legacy on Hollywood history. But for every one of those, there are a dozen threequels that are disastrous, and cases of actors going back to the well one too many times are far too common in Hollywood. Here are 4 actors who should have found a new direction to take their careers in, instead of losing a lot of rep coming out for just one more round, and getting clobbered by Mr. T. A President T. message to Danny Glover: “If I ever see Lethal Weapon 5 in theaters, I will beat you Rocky style.” 1. Eddie Murphy, Beverly Hills Cop 3 The problem with Eddie Murphy is that he’s hilarious for a couple of hours at a time, but when subjected to his antics longer than that, you start to fight an overwhelming urge to slap him lightly across both cheeks with the sharp end of a claw hammer. The original Beverly Hills Cop is a classic movie that helped launch the production career of Jerry Bruckheimer, for which all fans of action movies are eternally grateful. Thank you Eddie Murphy, thank you so very, very much. The suspension of disbelief started to get excessive with the release of Beverly Hills Cop 2. We were supposed to belief that a Detroit cop would make yet another trip to Los Angeles, to make all the LAPD detectives look like rubes and bust up another crime ring? Alright, fine. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice? Ain’t gonna happen. There is no way they could possibly expect us to believe that Axel Foley would find it necessary to go back to LA again, rig… Dammit. Now we’ve just gone into movie premise bullshit territory. Detective Foley pursues a crime ring cleverly hidden inside a chain of amusement parks. Because nothing goes better together than Bugs Bunny and crack cocaine. The third movie was missing some of the original actors, Jerry Bruckheimer was not involved in any way with the movie, and Eddie Murphy deliberately tried to play the straight man role in a franchise literally built on Eddie being funny. Eddie Murphy is incapable of playing in a dramatic role, it’s not in his nature. And that’s fine. Plenty of actors are incapable of playing certain roles. For example, Arnold Schwarzeneggar is incapable of playing a comedic role. But that didn’t stop them from trying. The simple fact is that Eddie was depressed because he recently discovered he couldn’t act like Denzel, and was coming off a string of unsuccessful films, and phoned in the performance. The result? Crappy movie. Plus, listen to this song. See if you can go more than 30 seconds without trying to puncture your eardrums with a nail file. 2. Mel Gibson, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome There are many things to make fun of with regards to Mel Gibson; he’s an internet funnyman’s wet dream. But today, we will not pick on him for his crazy racist ways, but rather for his overinsistence on playing the Lone Ranger in post apocalyptic Australia. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we’re talking about Mad Max. He’s gonna eat your babies. The Mad Max trilogy degenerates as the franchise wound on, becoming more and more crazy as the movies progressed. We get to watch as Max murdered crazy villain after crazy villain, usually by running them over with a truck. Lord Humongous and the Gay Stripper Gang featured prominently. But as far as pure bizarre goes, nothing can compete with the third film in the series, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. It is clear that Mel is reaching from the beginning, when he is shown at the helm of a Conestoga Wagon with all terrain tires driven by camels, and is then promptly attacked by a dive bomber who knocks him off his perch and steals his stuff. He is then confronted by Bartertown, a wretched hive in th[...]
