Fear Free Childbirth Podcast with Alexia Leachman

If you panic and worry in the lead-up to an injection then I hope that today's podcast will help you. It's for those people with a fear of needles and injections. [spp-player optin="off" ctabuttons="off" url=“youraudio.mp3"] As someone who used to be utterly terrified of needles and injections, this is something that I’m all too familiar with. At my first very first midwife appointment, I couldn’t even concentrate on what she was saying because there was a needle on her desk that was destined for my arm at the end of our meeting and it completely freaked me out. A fear of needles and injections is very common amoung pregnant women and often extends into other medical aspects such as hospital environments or vaginal examinations.  There is a condition known as white coat syndrome, which is when there is an increase in blood pressure in the presence of a doctor or when in a hospital setting, and a fear of needles and injections can make this worse. Many people choose to avoid medical or dental treatment because of their fear of needles and injections so this is quite a serious fear to have, but can be especially difficult for pregnant women. Understanding your Fear of Needles and Injections To help you overcome this fear it can be helpful to dif a bit deeper to understand what is going on. Do you hide behind your hands when you see people having injections on TV? Is it about seeing skin pierced? Does the sight of blood make you fearful? Is just looking at a needle difficult for you? Could you hold one? Or is it the very thought of injections, when someone just mentions it? Have you avoided giving blood because of your fear? Try to get under the skin (bad pun I know!) of your fear so that you can better understand it. This will help you to clear it. Once you're clear on the nature of your fear - fear of needles, fear of blood etc - then you're ready to tackle clearing your fear. You can use the 5 Step Head Trash Clearance Method - just grab your free copy below. If you would prefer for me to take care of clearing your fear for you, I've created a Fearless Birthing Meditation specifically for the fear of needles and injections. You can find out more below. Once you have cleared the negative emotional baggage that is associated with the thought of needles and injections, you are able to open up your mind to the possibility that needles and injections don’t actually hurt and are OK really. Now, doesn’t that sound like a great place to be? [spp-player]  

I’ve already talked about pain during birth in another podcast - how a fear creates pain during childbirth - so today I want to take a slightly different angle because pain is quite a biggie when it comes to birth. So I’d like to zoom in on the idea of pain and its close relative a fear of pain. [spp-player optin="off" ctabuttons="off" url=“youraudio.mp3"] A fear of pain in birth Most pregnant women have a fear of pain when it comes to their upcoming birth. I have a lot of women going through my fear-clearance video training programme and a lot of them email me telling me how pain is such a worry for them during their pregnancy. It was a huge one for me too. Once I started delving into my own fears, I realised that my fear of pain was near the top of the list. It was so big for me that early on in my first pregnancy I was seriously considering a c-section to avoid the pain of childbirth. Looking back, I’m grateful that I was able to off-load this fear because otherwise I would have needlessly put myself through major surgery and missed out on an incredible home birth. So how can we address this fear of pain in a meaningful way? There are some circles in birthing that suggest just not using the p word at all. But or me this smacks of denial and positive thinking. And anyway, just because you’ve decided to stop using the p-word word, doesn’t mean everyone else has. Trying to control other people’s behaviour is guaranteed to end in tears; and probably yours! I’m of the opinion that you need to accept it and embrace it. Imagine you lived in the world of Xena Warrior Princess… and imagine that wandering this world was this big scary mythological creature that terrorised the locals. What would Xena do? She wouldn’t be hiding behind trees insisting that no-one mentions its name. No! She’d hunt it down and jump on its back and then she’d take control of it and use it to fight the baddies of the day. via GIPHY Rachel, another mama who emailed me totally gets this. She says "I just want to be realistic, and allow the possibility of pain into my birth. I have not done anything with hypnobirthing and I acknowledge the importance of the pain and cascade of hormones during childbirth." If you welcome pain into your world and acknowledge its intention you’re better able to tap into its power. Pain has a positive intention that we often dismiss. In day-to-day life, pain is a signal from our body that something needs attention; a physical or emotional aspect of ourselves needs healing. However, in birth the word pain is used to cover a broad range of sensations. And yes some of these might mean that something needs attention. But some of these sensations might simply be the sheer power of nature birthing your baby, which is not something that requires attention or healing. Instead it requires you to ride this incredible wave of energy; embrace it, grab it, jump on it and use it. Don’t pretend it’s not there. It’s avoidance and denial that turns it into pain, because that need to avoid it and its accompanying fear is what needs to healed. But paradoxically, I’d like to suggest that we refer to it as something else. When I think back to both my births, if you asked me what they felt like, you’ll hear me say words like intense, relentless, powerful, hardcore because that is how those sensations felt to me. But they weren’t painful. Getting stitched up afterwards was painful! Stubbing my toe is painful. But birth wasn’t. When you’re doing something physical that’s demanding and requires you to dig deep; is that pain? Do marathon runners say that they’re running in pain? They probably say it’s hard and tough but not painful. Why not keep the word pain for painful things, like things that need attention or healing? Not just use it whenever we’re too lazy to use a word t...

[spp-player optin="off" ctabuttons="off" url=“youraudio.mp3"] This week I'm delighted to share another positive birth story. This week Lucy HG is going to be sharing with us her primal birth story. Primal birth story? Well yes! It's primal because Lucy went all primal in the final phase of labour! Lucy's Primal Birth Story Lucy has been a long time listener of the podcast and would enjoy episodes as she would prepare for her birth so it's lovely to be able to have her on the podcast inspiring other mums with her story too. I recorded this episode for last season, but I ran out of time to post it. Beautifully, this week is when her little one was born, so the birth story you're hearing is a year old: Happy Birthday Sebbie! Lucy is the managing director of an app development company, KuKu Apps, and is half Spanish. She lives here in the UK and made the decision late in her pregnancy to opt for a natural home birth. Her labour went on for about 25 hours, but listening to her, you'd never think it was an endurance test; she just took it all in her stride! Her primal birth story is lovely for so many reasons as you will hear. Now there is so much about Lucy's story that is worth listening to; How she handled two miscarriages and the first trimester of this last pregnancy What made her change her mind and decide to opt for a home birth How she thanks her mum for always speaking so positively about birth which gave her a solid foundation of belief and trust in the birthing process Why she compares birthing to competing in a race. As someone who likes sporting activities like mountain biking with her husband, Lucy tells us how doing this helped both of them in their birth preparation How she felt about her long labour Why she didn't want a water birth (in her answer she mentions cavemen!!) < I told you she was primal! How she felt about the lack of continuity of care from her midwives Why she made it clear to her husband and mum to change the language they were using around her during the birth There is so much in Lucy's primal birth story to help you get into the right mindset, not least a reminder to get back to basics and tune in to our bodies and the inherent power of birth Enjoy! x   [spp-player]  

Today I want to talk about tokophobia for a few reasons… It’s the name given to a fear of pregnancy and childbirth… so pretty relevant for my podcast! People don’t even know it’s THING.. so I’m here to say it IS a Thing and it’s a pretty BIG thing. I want to share more information about it so that if you’re a sufferer of it, you can better understand it, or at least realise that you’re not alone If you come across it in your work, say as midwife or a some other kind of birth professional or person who might meet women who suffer with it, then you’re a bit better informed so that you can help them and point them in the right direction If your lucky to not be afflicted with it, then to help you realise that you are probably surrounded by women who are and to better understand how they might be feeling about your own pregnancy journey [spp-player] What is tokophobia? Tokophobia is a pathological fear of pregnancy and birth that affects around 10% of women worldwide. The word comes from Greek tokos meaning childbirth and phobos which means fear. Now, phobias are a type of anxiety disorder, that typically involve an intensely irrational fear of an object or situation that poses little or no danger. And we often associate phobias with things like spiders or closed in spaces. Tokophobia is classed as either primary tokophobia or secondary tokophobia; primary tokophobia is a dread of childbirth that pre-dates pregnancy, whereas secondary tokophobia occurs after a traumatic or distressing delivery. Another way to think about the difference between primary and secondary tokophobia is this: one is a fear arising from a direct experience of birth, whereas the other comes from indirect birth-related experiences; seeing them in films, hearing about them, medical or sexual experiences. Apparently, Helen Mirren revealed she has tokophobia in an interview in 2007, saying a birth video she saw as a 13 year old disgusted her so much that she never wanted to have children or anything to do with birth. I can totally relate to this. I saw a birth video at school that traumatised me for years. How does tokophobia show up? Well, the physical and psychological symptoms of tokophobia vary but they can include: Recurrent nightmares Hyperventilating Sweating and shaking Panic and anxiety attacks Crying (triggered by sight or even words) Nausea and vomiting Thoughts of death or dying It’s often labelled as an irrational phobia, but in my opinion this is not entirely fair on those who suffer from it. For a start, this isn’t a normal phobia in that sense because for one thing, childbirth can actually be fatal. Unlike being stuck in a closed space, for example. So irrational is probably not the best word to use. Furthermore, its very possible that if you ask a woman who suffers from tokophobia, she might tell you that it’s a rational fear that’s completely understandable. I don't need help. It's a perfectly rational fear. Of course not all, but many will. I used to be tokophobic so I have some insight into this, but when I decided that I wanted to do a podcast on this I decided to ask other women about it too, because we’re all different and my experience is unique to me. My tokophobic experience For years I was in denial about wanting kids. On some level, I knew I wanted them, but it never went any further than that. Despite being in a serious relationship, I never initiated The Kids conversation and it never came up. To be honest, I wouldn’t have even said that I had anything wrong with me because I wasn’t being faced with the pressure of pregnancy. But, I couldn’t handle kids, especially babies. If anyone brought new babies into work for the usual “here’s my new baby” drop-in session,

I'm not one for regrets, but if there's one regret I have about my last pregnancy and birth it's that I didn't mark the moment or honour it with a ritual of some sort. During my first pregnancy I had a baby-shower, but since then my thoughts and ideas around pregnancy and birth have changed. As a first-time mum I was caught up in the mass market ideas around birth as I turned to the usual places that first-time mums tend to check out: BabyCenter, What to Expect, Mumsnet etc. Unfortunately, these places tend to focus on the surface aspect of birth; your pregnancy symptoms by month, what development stage baby is at, maternity clothes that don't compromise your style etc. And what I also felt was this often came with a consumerist focussed message; what pram/high-chair/cot to buy; ideal gifts for baby showers etc. Back then, what I found was lacking in all this was a recognition of the transformative and spiritual period the mother is going through. At the time I didn't fully appreciate the journey I was on and looking back I would have appreciated someone to highlight this aspect so that I could check it out and find out more. Two births later and I am completely in awe of the power and magic of birth; in its power to completely transform you as a woman, and if you're open to it, for it to propel your spiritual journey. I didn't realise it at the time, but my obsession with clearing my fears provided me with a strong foundation that supported my spiritual growth. You will hear many spiritual leaders tell you that the path to growth begins with calming the mind, and clearing your fears is a great place to start. Looking back I feel that my birthing fears were a gift; a gift that enabled me to fully embrace the spiritual and transformative power of birth. Since my last birth though I've really come to appreciate the spiritual and sacred-ness of birth, in part due to my own powerful birth experiences, but also thanks to the wonderful guests I've had the honour of speaking to on this podcast. So it's from this backdrop that I'm thrilled to welcome this week's guest, Sophie Messager. Sophie is a doula, childbirth educator and babywearing consultant and she is particularly interested in the traditional aspect of birth and the rituals that surround birth from cultures around the world. When I first came across Sophie and her work, I knew immediately that I had to get her on the podcast. Firstly I was curious about all of this and wanted to know more. But also, I just wish someone else had pointed me in this direction when I was pregnant, so if I can help another pregnant mama in the way that I would have liked to have been helped, then that makes me happy. I originally invited Sophie on to the podcast to talk about the Closing the Bones ceremony but in the end we talked about so much more. Closing the Bones If you're not sure what Closing the Bones is, let me tell you briefly. Closing the Bones is a traditional massage from Ecuador. In Ecuador, women are given this massage within hours of the birth, and receive it again at least 5 or 6 times during the first 40 days postpartum. The massage stimulates blood flow which in turn; cleans, renews, moves fluids (may help with milk supply/lochia), moving hormones, immune system, toning muscles, and tissue. In traditional cultures, the 41 days of the postnatal period represent a sacred time. In this time the woman will have the closing massage at least 5 times, the first being 6 hours after birth, this begins to put the bladder and uterus back into place. It is said that the hips support the weight of the spine and head and that they are therefore the seat of unresolved emotions and trauma, which can be felt upon the hips as adrenalin crystals, that need to be popped and released during the massage. The massage itself includes sifting with a rebozo, using the rebozo for closing the hip bones,

Choosing between a hospital or home birth is one of the key decisions you will face as a pregnant mama. Making choices around your birth can feel a little overwhelming. It can be easy to procrastinate on this and put it off. But actually, that's the last thing you should do, because once you start getting your head around things, you realise that there's actually quite a lot for you to consider. It's not like you have a bunch of inconsequential decisions to make. Each decision you're faced with has the potential to have quite an impact depending on how things go. But whichever way things end up going on the day, you will need to live with your decisions. So for the sake of your future feelings about your birth, I would urge you to spend the time up front getting savvy on things so that you feel well-enough informed on the various aspects of birth. No-one else is responsible for the birth of your baby other than you and your partner; your responsibility for the little one start now. Hospital or home birth? In today's podcast, I want to help you think through the hospital or home birth dilemma. To help me, I'm going to be joined by Sonia Killik. Sonia is the author of the book Birth {f**k yeah!} in which she urges and empowers expectant mothers to take back control of their bodies and their births. In a medicated world dominated by caesareans, interventions and impersonality, this step-by-step guide navigates the world of pregnancy and birth. It provides an in-depth account of all the options available to expectant women – from midwives and doulas, home and hospital births, and all the drugs and interventions in between – leaving the reader fully-equipped, knowledgeable and ready to take on nature’s biggest and most rewarding challenge – to bring a baby into this world. During our chat, Sonia draws on a lot of the research that she carried out as part of the writing for her book. One thing is clear: she desperately wants to arm you with the facts so that you can make a decision that's right for you. By sharing her own personal experience of pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding, this book is an honest, empowering and highly readable guideline to childbirth; Learn about each birthing method available to you How your birthing choice effects your baby and yourself Pre and post birth guides and support Breastfeeding and formula choices I have to warn you though, Sonia and I are both pretty passionate when it comes to birth and helping women to be informed and feel empowered about their birth, and we did have a few rants! But I hope that in doing we help you to figure out what feels more appropriate for you: hospital or home birth. Sonia was a true super-star on the podcast too because she came armed with a ton of facts and statistics around birth, and I hope that this helps you when trying to navigate all this when it comes to chossing between a hospital or home birth. But that's not all. She's also provided a load of extra FREE goodies to help you on your pregnancy and birthing journey, but I'll tell you about those in a bit. We covered so much during our chat, including the difference between a hospital birth and a home birth some statistics on the the level interventions encountered during hospital births versus home births statistics on the safety of home birth why a clinical or hospital environment is not conducive to birth important considerations for a hospital or home birth the need to consider birth holistically when making your birth choices how some birth choices impact you and your baby over the long-term, and why it's important to bear long-term impact in mind insights into how care providers within the hospital environment might be approaching birth

[spp-player optin="off" ctabuttons="off" url=“youraudio.mp3"] I’m really excited about bringing you this episode because today I’m chatting to specialist birth film maker and authorToni Harman. Toni Harman is an award-winning documentary filmmaker. Her credits include DOULA! a documentary about doulas (2010, 60 mins), FREEDOM FOR BIRTH a documentary about human rights in childbirth (2012, 60 mins). Her last film MICROBIRTH (60 mins, 2014) about how birth impacts a baby's lifelong health - won the top prize, the Grand Prix Award, at the Life Sciences Film Festival in Prague. Toni is the co-author of the book, The Microbiome Effect, How Your Baby's Birth Affects Their Future Health, published by Pinter and Martin, which explores birth in a whole new way; through the lens of a microscope. Here is the trailer for the film Microbirth I originally got in touch with Toni because of a personal question. I’d read a lot about the microbiome and how the seeding of bacteria within babies is affected by their birth, probably because of all the hype around her film! Anyhow, my baby was born en-caul and so I was curious as to how that might have affected my baby’s microbiome. So after a lengthy web search, a someone in a Facebook group suggested that I check out the film. I thought I’d go one-step further and get in touch with the director and instead invite them onto the podcast. And so here we are! When I got in touch with Toni, I didn’t realise what a birth specialist she was though, so it turned into a real goldmine discovery. Before we started recording we had a fabulous chat about all kinds of lovely birth and pregnancy things. Microbiome and birth When we eventually got round to pressing record, here are some of the things we talked about; what the microbiome and why we should care about it the possible health implications of babies missing out on bacterial seeding the various ways that babies receive their microbiome how we can boost our levels of good bacteria when we’re pregnant what we can do to support babies born en-caul in terms of microbiome what we can do post birth to create optimal conditions for the good bacteria to flourish the difference between pre and pro biotics, and the role they play in our bacterial life why we need to think positively about the presence of poo during birth the need for research into the long-term impact and health implications for many birth interventions used today Toni's next project is A Probiotic Life which you can find out more about here Support the podcast [spp-player]

This podcast came about as a result of a client session I had a few weeks back. We were talking about control; losing control, being in control and feeling out of control. One of my client’s fears was losing control, which is very common among pregnant women when they think about birth. I myself experienced this too. The thing is, control is quite complex and there are many aspects to it. So if we are to clear this fear we need to do some digging first. At the end of the session, my client said that this conversation alone gave her a HUGE attitude shift and now SHE GOT IT! So I want to share the key aspects of this conversation with you. Fear of losing control, and how to overcome it When it comes to control, there are different aspects to it that I think is worth exploring as the subtle distinctions between them are important. HAVING control and BEING in control Firstly there’s the idea of having control or being in control… this typically applies to situations… are you in control of what is happening externally? what people are doing etc. If being in control is very important for you, then when other people have control instead of you, it can can often cause problems, especially if you’re a control freak! FEELING out of control This is different from NOT BEING in control. This is an emotion where you FEEL out of control… and this doesn’t necessarily have a bearing on reality. We often hear people say how they felt completely out of control in a particular situation, and yet on the outside it looked like they'd got it together… so this is an emotional response. If this emotion really takes hold, then it often leads to the next one which is Losing control Which for many means emotionally losing control, losing a grip, not being able to keep it together. We can see this happening in someone and they might start getting emotional or angry. Or it could mean losing control of their senses or their body… like screaming or grunting. Someone who FEELS out of control doesn’t necessarily become that person that loses it though. So why am I sharing this? Well, one fear that crops up time and time again when it comes to birth is fear of losing control. But what does that mean exactly? What does a 'fear of losing control' mean? If this is one of your fears then I’d like to invite you to give this some thought. If you’re familiar with Head Trash Clearance Method (the technique that I developed to get rid of my fears and anxieties) then you’ll be pleased to know that you can use it to help with this very issue. But in order to do so, you need to be pretty clear on what you mean by LOSING CONTROL. Is it a fear of not being in control of how the birth is going? Is it a fear of losing it emotionally and crying, getting emotional in a way that you can’t control? Is it a fear of losing control of your body and pooing and weeing everywhere? Is it fear of losing control over the decisions being made about your birth? So the medical team retaining control? What is it for you? Having a better understanding of the various aspects of control can help us to figure out how to help you get past this. So if this is an issue for you I would urge you to give this some thought and take the time to work on this in advance of your birth. So why am I urging you to sort this out? This fear of losing control can only cause problems during birth. For a start it’s a fear and so will have a negative physiological impact on your body during labour and lead to things like a long labour or painful contractions. Birth requires you to let go; Let go of your need to be in control, let go of your need to control your body, let go of your need to control the situation. THE ONLY THING you should be focussed on is staying...

[spp-player optin="off" ctabuttons="off" url=“youraudio.mp3"] I can't quite believe it, but this is the last episode in the first season of the Fear Free Childbirth Podcast. To finish I thought it would be nice to end with my own positive birth stories. After all, it's the birth of my two daughters that have inspired all my work in this area and for me it all started with these two very magical experiences. To help me share my positive birth stories, I invited Jennifer Nesbit Holt back on the show to be my guest host. I chatted to Jennifer right at the beginning of the podcast about her wonderful birth story, and as a fellow podcaster, I knew she'd do a great job. (And I just LOVE her accent!). My Positive Birth Stories If you've ben listening to the podcast, you'll know that I when I was first pregnant, I was completely terrified of giving birth. I had all sorts of things going on in my head that I knew I had to face up and deal with before my birth. During my chat I share how I went from being completely phobic... looking back I'm sure it was tokophobia... to being totally fear free about birth; How I felt about my first pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage What I did to help me to overcome my fears in the lead up to my first birth How I dealt with my fear of the ring of fire as my baby was crowning during my first birth How my second pregnancy compared to my first when it came to my level of fear Why my second pregnancy forced me to immerse myself in birth edcuation How being an older mum changed my second pregnancy How I dealt with the negativity from my medical team when I was being pressured to be induced at 38 weeks Why I asked my medical team to agree on a different due date to the one I was given How I handled the stress of regular fetal monitoring How I prepared for my second birth Visualisations around how I wanted my birth to be Talking to my baby Clearing my baby's fears How I believe visualisation contributed to my second birth There is so much more that I would have liked to have shared, but I'm going to save it for my second season. Of course, if you have any questions, then come and ask me - you can do it below in the comments or just email me at alexia [at] this domain! Season 2 of the podcast will return in early 2016 and I would love to know if there is anything that you would like to hear. Let me know if there are any topics that you're interested to hear more about, or maybe there are some guests that you think would be great to have on the show. Let me know in the comments!  

[spp-player optin="off" ctabuttons="off" url=“youraudio.mp3"] Today on the podcast I’ve got a positive birth story with a difference because today’s story is a beautiful gentle c-section story. A previous podcast guest of mine, Emily told me about Cath and suggested her as a guest for the podcast because of how positive her story is for a c-section. Cesareans get a lot of bad press, and they are often regarded with dismay by vaginal birth advocates, but that takes away the important role they can play when the safety of both mum and baby is concerned. Cath’s previous two births had both ended in emergency c-sections due to similar issues so when she found herself pregnant for the 3rd time, she instinctively felt that it would be best for both her and her baby to plan for caesarian from the outset. Her consultant was a big fan of natural birth and he had supported her throughout both her previous pregnancies and births, so when he shared with her that he felt that a c-section would be preferable for her and baby, she trusted him. So, at 20 weeks she made her decision and picked a birthing date. She decided to pick a date one week before her due date because she didn’t want to risk her body going into labour Due to her previous birth experiences, she decided that she wanted to plan her birth so that it could be the most positive birth experience possible. And so began a period of preparation for Cath that is probably a little different to how most other mothers prepare for their births. During our chat, Cath shares How she prepared for her birth including how she “negotiated” her wishes and desires with her medical team how she consulted with her Supervisor of Midwives to understand what was reasonable for her to request for her birth, and how doing this gave her confidence in making her requests. how the way that she was treated by medical staff mattered to her, both in the lead up other birth and during it… and what they did that was brilliant! what she wanted from her gentle csection experience…. and what she ended up having The key aspects to a gentle c-section that Cath wanted were A slow delivery; take out baby's head and shoulders but let the womb contracting bring baby out. This means no pulling of baby for them to come out.. or if it's required for it to be minimised where possible Skin to skin immediately following birth Delayed cord clamping Baby to be left on mum for as long as possible before being handled and checked over by medical staff Cath also shared her experience of placenta encapsulation and placenta smoothies; why she wanted to and how it tasted tandem nursing; nursing 2 children Cath's advice if you're preparing for a gentle c-section Cath's advice to mamas preparing for gentle c-section Find a positive birth group - see Positive Birth Movement for a group in your local area Search for other local birthing groups, even if you simply connect with them on Facebook, as Cath did to her local Home Birth Group Seek out Gentle Cesarean groups on Facebook Get informed and know your rights What would Cath do differently? When I asked Cath if she would have done anything differently, she said she wished she had done something around gut flora and micro biome. There is a mounting evidence that babies born vaginally receive significant levels os gut flora from their mother as part of the birthing process. As such more and more people are choosing to take a vaginal swab of the mother and pass it to baby to help ensure the baby received this valuable healthy bacteria. It is said to help to build immunity and combat against things like allergies. Here’s an article that talks more about this and if you want somethin...

Alexia talks about the Fearless Birthing approach to birth preparation that is entirely focused on clearing fears for a positive birth experience.

[spp-player optin="off" ctabuttons="off" url=“youraudio.mp3"] Today, I’m super thrilled to be able to share with you a positive birth story with a difference. It’s different because Lisa prepared for her birth using Fearless Birthing so it's the first it's the first Fearless Birthing story. I’ll be doing a podcast next week on Fearless Birthing so you can find out more about it then, but here’s a quick overview; Fearless Birthing is a birth preparation approach that I’ve developed that is entirely focused on helping mama (and dad) to clear their fears so that they can approach birth fear free. A fearless mama will be much better able to stay present and connected to her body and her baby during labour. By developing her emotional resilience before birth, she is also much better placed to respond flexibly to the demands of labour, and so improve the chances of her having a positive birth experience. The technique at the heart of Fearless Birthing offers a direct and focused fear-clearance action that works deeply and quickly to clear fears from the mind and body. In removing the mental distractions and helping the mama develop trust in her body’s ability to birth her baby, the power of the birthing body can be allowed to take over. Lisa's Fearless Birthing Story Lisa is a careers advisor and first time mum, and she describes herself as someone who was extremely fearful of giving birth and even went as far as to say she was phobic about it (a fear of childbirth is known as tokophobia). She couldn’t even bring herself to imagine how life might be beyond birth because she simply couldn’t contemplate birth or how she was actually going to get through it. It was like a big dark cloud hanging over her pregnancy. When she first found out she was pregnant, Lisa heard about the work I was doing around pregnancy and birth and got in touch to see if I could help. I was in the early days of developing Fearless Birthing so I asked her to let me know what her fears were so that I could create something that could help. I’d already been collecting pregnancy fears from women that I’d been helping and it didn’t surprise me to see that Lisa’s fears were very common and ones that I had come across already. So I shared with her one of my early Fearless Birthing Meditations. I didn’t realise how much she had listened to it or indeed how much it had helped her, so speaking to her was a real treat for me. During our chat Lisa shares… how she managed to turn her fears around and embrace birth. Truly wonderful! hypnobirthing; why she didn’t like it and why it didn’t work for her how meditating helped her during her super-stressful pregnancy (she moved twice!) why her husband banned her from watching One Born Every Minute during her pregnancy how her attitude shift around pain and making friends with it helped her to embrace birth Since our chat, Lisa has also blogged about her experience of breastfeeding by writing a lovely letter to her son, Dylan. It's a bit of a tearjerker as it's so beautiful... have a read here > Feeling upset over not breastfeeding turned out to be a huge waste of time. Some of the resources mentioned during our chat include Tell me a good birth story Neutrality - clearing the excess negative emotional energy around something Petition for the media to portray childbirth in a more balanced way If you're interested in finding out how to clear your fears Fearless Birthing style, then sign up for my FREE 3 part video training series below. I hope that listening to Lisa's story was helpful and inspiring. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Preparing for parenthood is not always at the top of the list when preparing for birth. When it comes to fears that can crop up around childbirth, there’s one aspect that isn’t always obvious and is often overlooked. I say “overlooked” because I’m referring to a lot of birth preparation approaches or classes. This aspect is the bit that comes straight AFTER birth: the parenting and parenthood bit! Now I know there are plenty of books, blogs, and podcasts on preparing for parenting, but what I’m referring to is the impact that a FEAR of becoming a parent might have on you when it comes to preparing for birth, and more importantly, what you can do about it. I receive a fair amount of emails from you my listeners, and one thing I ask is this: what are your fears when it comes to birth? A surprisingly large number come and tell me that it’s not the birth that’s freaking them out, but the bit straight afterwards… the becoming a mother bit! So, if this is you, then this episode is for you. Preparing for parenthood Now, I don’t wish to get hugely distracted with the parenting - motherhood thing, but I think it’s important that I just dwell a wee bit on WHY it’s important to prepare for parenthood BEFORE birth. If you want to maximise your chances of having a positive birth, one the best things you can do is to clear your fears… if you’ve been following my podcast, you know that already, right? But, it’s not just birthing fears you need to address. You need to address broader life fears, especially those that are linked to you having a baby. So your fear of spiders probably doesn’t need a closer look at this stage. But if you have fears around whether or not your partner will support you in the way that you want or need, then that definitely needs addressing. And therefore, so do any fears you might have around being a mother or parent. If the idea of parenting freaks you out a bit, then imagine how your subconscious will deal with that and express that while you’re in labour. On a very deep level, you might resist your baby coming out and this could extend labour unnecessarily. This only begins to scratch the surface around the whole preparing for parenthood thing. So, now I’ve explained WHY this stuff is important for you to think about BEFORE baby arrives, now let me help you to move past it. To help me, on today’s podcast I’m chatting to Elly Taylor. Elly is the author or the book Becoming Us, which is all about the journey to becoming parents and the various stages of the creation, development, and challenges of the family unit. Elly Taylor is becoming known worldwide as the Parenthood Pioneer. As a Relationship Counsellor and a new mama at the same time, Elly began researching the transition into parenthood after she unexpectedly began experiencing stretch marks in her relationship with her husband. Over 15 years Elly discovered eight stages of early parenthood and formulated steps to prepare, guide and support partners through each of them. The result is her book Becoming Us, which has been welcomed by both parents and professionals. Elly is a columnist for Australia’s favourite parenting magazine, Practical Parenting, Resident Counsellor for Daily Life website and an advocate for Perinatal Mental Health. Elly lives in Sydney with her gorgeous firefighter husband (yes, they made it!), their three children and a bunch of pets. During our chat, Elly shares; the difference between parenting and parenthood the transition from woman to motherhood letting go of your old life, making room for the new the 8 stages in Becoming Us how knowing about these 8 stages can help you to cope with the challenges of parenting how you can prepare while pregnant to help avoid many parenting challenges (I’m sorry but this free guide is no longer available.

I'm so pleased to be able to bring you this lovely positive VBAC story with you today. My guest this week is Elsie Escobar who is sharing both her birth stories, including her positive VBAC story. She has not shared this with anyone other than her mum. It's beautiful. I know Elsie through my podcasting community and as one of the co-hosts of the She Podcasts podcast. When I said I wanted to share a positve VBAC story she jumped right in. She was really keen to add her voice of support to VBAC mamas and get her story out there. She has not even shared this story with anyone other than her mum. It's beautiful. Positive VBAC story In our frank and open chat, Elsie talks about her first pregnancy and the circumstances that lead to her emergency c-section. She shares some of the fears that took up her head space during her first pregnancy; fear of miscarriage, fears around being an older mum - and how that changed once she hit her second trimester. As a yoga teacher, Elsie was keen for a natural birth with her first baby, but that was not to be. She goes on to tell me how she felt in the aftermath of her c-section and her road to emotional recovery. We then fast forward to her second pregnancy and her journey to her beautifully positive VBAC, which is just fabulous. And Elsie's even shared some gorgeous pics of her lovely VBAC baby, Mae with Hunter, her big sister. It's a wonderful story that I hope will inspire other mamas who are hoping for a VBAC. Enjoy x       Have you had a VBAC? Are you hoping for a VBAC? Let me know in the comments!   And don't forget, if you'd like to be on the waiting list for my FREE VIDEO TRAINING SERIES on How to clear your childbirth fears, then sign up below.

[spp-player optin="off" ctabuttons="off" url=“youraudio.mp3"] Today’s episode is inspired by a listener Amanda. Amanda started listening to the podcast right at the beginning of her pregnancy and she emailed me to let me know how much she was enjoying listening to it. She excitedly shared her hopes and dreams around her pregnancy and birth and I remember feeling so priveleged that she was allowing me to accompany her on her journey. Then a few weeks later she shared with me that she miscarried. She was heartbroken and asked me to do a podcast on miscarriage. So here it is Amanda, here's my podcast for you and everyone else who's coping with a miscarraige. Joining me to talk abourt coping with a miscarriage is Susie Gower. Susie is the lady behind Becoming Mama and she supports women from fertility to birth and she works with lots of women to support them through the aftermath of a miscarriage. She was inspired to start her business from her own miscarriage experience where she felt isolated and alone. Here's a little bit more abotu Susie... Susie Gower is a holistic fertility, pregnancy and birth mentor, qualified hypnotherapist, reflexologist and reiki master.  Throughout her work she has always sought a deeper understanding of the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of conception, which lead her in 2009 to the Omega Institute in New York to train with the world-renowned psychiatrist Dr Brian Weiss. Susie started her fertility practice in Hertfordshire more than 10 years ago. The success that she and her clients have enjoyed over that time has earned her national recognition for her expertise in understanding the mind/body connection, and how emotions affect fertility. Susie regularly speaks at workshops on wellbeing and fertility issues and her articles are published in magazines such as Mother and Baby, Bella, Beauty magazine, Fertility Road, Herts Life.  Susie belief in “giving back to the community” drove her to founding the Hertfordshire Fertility Support Group, and nationally she is a volunteer for Infertility Network UK. A miscarriage can be a very lonely experience. Often the only other person who knows is the dad because we’ve chosen not to tell anyone our news for fear of experiencing this very thing. And yet, if we had shared our news early on, then we would not feel so alone and would be able to seek the support of those around us. Difficult times are made more difficult when we feel alone and unsupported so while I cannot promise to take away the loneliness of your experience, i hope to be able to provide you with support. Coping with a miscarriage During my conversation with Susie we talk about various aspects to coping with a miscarriage and the ensuing journey including; The typical emotional journey that comes with a miscarriage. While we may travel along this road at different paces the stop points tend to be very similar. Why you need to honour your emotions in the aftermath of a miscarriage and how you can best do this. I talk about the chakra mediation exercise that I used to help me to process my emotions. Susie shares how visualisations can help you move on and she talks about the little birdcage one, that tends to work for many people The importance of creating a farewell ceremony and how that might look for you The difference between holding onto the memory of your baby and the emotion of the experience, and why you don’t need to hold onto both Why we don’t share our pregnancies earlier than the 12 weeks BECAUSE of the miscarriage risk and shouldn’t this change? The importance of support groups online or locally The challenges of social media when it comes to pregnancy and miscarriages. Coping with the trauma of Facebook status updates.. how miscarriage sufferers usually stay