Hole in My Heart Podcast

Let's take it back to the basics and then broaden to the more complex: What does LGBTQIA mean (and why doesn't the term "homosexuals" cover it)? Where can parents take their mix of emotions when their kid comes out? Is there even a right and wrong when it comes to the gender conversation? We are tackling some big and basic questions related to pastors, parents, and therapists today, and who better to navigate with us than Christian expert in the field, Dr. Mark Yarhouse? Mark is Professor of Psychology at Regent University in Virginia Beach, and has published over 80 peer-reviewed journal articles and very helpful books in including, Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture. Ready? Let's go. Highlights: ​"What happens in ministries and what happens in families is we overreact to what's above the surface . . . rather than minister to what's beneath." ---Dr. Mark Yarhouse "A lot of times youth ministers will say, 'It's not my experience, so how can I be a trail guide?' You don't have to be Bear Grylls, you just need to be familiar with the trail. You just have to have walked the trail with other people . . . and to read up on it." --Dr. Mark Yarhouse For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/walking-well-as-pastors-parents-and-therapists/

Heyyyy! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the United States! Happy "we are thankful for you all" if you are not in the States. In this 8-minute special we debate whether or not you put the stuffing in the turkey.(Answer: Find Alton brown's killer recipe on the link below for turkey SANS STUFFING. Throwaway turkeys are welcome for such goodness.) We also get a lil' bit serious on what we are thankful for. Get it here, kids. That Link: (At the bottom of the last episode): https://www.himhministries.com/blog/episode-59-a-tiny-living-act-of-obedience

What do you get when you cross 350-square-feet, six people, a one one-eyed cat named Sirius, and an honest look at what makes up our identity? This episode. Ashley Auerbach, a mom of four turned-tiny-living expert (whose life is soon to be featured on a TV show!), talks about obedience and the beautiful shredding it does to our perceptions of self. We also have her figure out our tiny living problems such as how to play Cones of Dunshire in our hypothetical new RV, and what to do in said hypothetical RV if we want to buy our kids those crazy huge Costco bears for Christmas. We laugh and get real per usual. Highlights: “My identity was wrapped up in what I did for people and how I entertained and how I opened my home. Because I couldn’t do any of those things my identity took a real hit. And it’s still taking a real hit.” --Ashley Auerbach "[God] allowed these circumstances of my health to fail so I could get to the place where I would say ‘yes’ to the more he would have for me." --Ashley Auerbach For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/a-tiny-living-act-of-obedience/

Yup. We are talking about looks. Specifically, clothing. This may seem like too surface-level of a conversation for this podcast, but aren't clothes an expression of who we are? An expression of who God made us to be? We would say, yes. This conversation arose as I (Laurie) was stressing out way too much about what to wear on a stage. I found myself dressing for my audience as opposed to dressing as an expression of who God made me to be. Then Kelli ODell--a friend and our Producer Steve's wife--entered the scene. She got to know my heart and helped me express it tangibly. Now, I don't stress. I just live. If you feel annoyingly stressed about expressing yourself tangibly via clothes, you may leave practically encouraged after listening. Highlights: "When you do this process and find out, 'These are my colors, these are the shapes that look good,' it simplifies your life . . . You are freed up to focus on other people. You kind of forget about yourself." --Kelli O'Dell "So many of us see what looks cool on XYZ celebrity, and we are like, 'Okay, that is a cool look. I want to try that on.' What Kelli does is she confirms whether that particular look is right for you as an individual. Versus trying to be like someone else, it's helping you be more like who you are." --Steve O'Dell For More (Including quizzes you can take!): https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/if-looks-could-heal/

If you have ever struggled with pornography addiction or are close to someone who has, please listen to this episode. Licensed mental-health counselor, ordained minister, and author Jay Stringer, helped peel back the layers of understanding for all of us as we heard results of his nearly 4,000-person study on the "whys" behind unwanted sexual behavior. From the research laid out in his incredible book, Unwanted, we dig into family systems that can foster certain types of lust and anger, the power of shame (and what removes it), and steps to take toward actual freedom. And of course, Chuck Norris and some ridiculous high-fiving action make an appearance. Highlights: "We need to learn to listen to our lust, and see what it says about us." --Jay Stringer "We need to begin to break some of the silence up, to say, 'Because we are made in God's image we are sexual, and that is a beautiful, stunning thing. And yet because evil cannot destroy the glory and goodness of God, evil will then go after that which most reflects God's glory and image, which is of course, our sexuality.'" --Jay Stringer "If we are really wanting change, what does it mean to not condemn ourselves for our unwanted sexual behavior, to not hate ourselves for our sexual story, but to be kind about how it in some ways makes a lot of sense--given the life that we've had?" --Jay Stringer For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-whys-behind-pornography-addiction/

Do you intrinsically feel the shift in culture over the last ten years or so, but you can't quite name it? Author and pastor Sam Allberry can. ​In addition to being a really great hang, Sam lays out four cultural shifts and seven responses to those shifts on today's episode. This is not one to miss. Highlights: "As I deny self I don't become less me. As I follow Jesus and deny self I become more the me God had thought up in the first place. Isn't that amazing? God can take a group of us and we all become more like Jesus, but we won't become more like each other." --Sam Allberry "Jesus is not as easy as we think he is when it comes to these issues. That is so important to know because if they are angry at this stuff they aren't angry at Christianity, they aren't angry at me, they aren't angry at you, they aren't angry at the church. Actually, their real issue is with Jesus, and they need to realize that." --Sam Allberry Fore More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/seven-ways-to-navigate-a-sexually-shifting-culture/

If you grew up in the purity movement era of Christianity--where a lot of talk around sexuality was based on 'just say 'no' to sex before marriage'--were you burned by it? Encouraged by it? Our friend, Jason Soucinek, executive director and founder of ProjectSix19 talks us through the benefits and detriments of talking about sexuality with a focus on this type of purity, and helps us consider another way. We also dig into favorite group games (just don't talk about kickball kaythxsbye), get a bit crazy about being inclusive of single people, and have a giant take us to Goofball Island for reasons we still don't quite know. Highlights: "As a parent, you want to be Google to your children--especially when it comes to [sexuality]." --Jason Soucinek "I think if we're only looking at two parts [fall and redemption] and we are starting with the Fall, then our language is going to be around sin, and the language of, 'no, 'bad,' and 'not good.' We'll eventually get to 'image of God' or 'Jesus' or 'forgiveness,' but that's just not the story I see taking place. It starts with, 'It was very good.'" --Jason Soucinek For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/purity-movement-or-sexual-integrity/

Every week, we invite people into our home for food, conversation, and games. It's basically the podcast but in real life. My real life little sister, Angela Bowles, talks about how this works both as a biological sibling and sister in Christ. We also discuss the first time I shared my story with Angela (on her 16th birthday?!), how we get motivated to do difficult things, and PLEASE listen to the after-closing bloopers. We guffawed. Highlights: "I got super convicted by my own mouth on a stage. I was talking [on a platform] about how the Church is the hope of the world, and how we need to open up our doors to anyone who needs family. It was the Holy Spirit pinpricking my heart saying, 'You got to open up your own home and invite people in.'" --Laurie Krieg 'That's why Fram Din works: It's because it's not about sexual issues necessarily, it's about being 'with.'" --Angela Bowles 'I've really loved seeing the interaction of people with our daughters. Our oldest daughter, Gwyn, is super excited: She starts praying for the family and it's all of her cousins, all of Family Dinner, and all the people she interacts with that she cares about. It's really cool to see that in her mind that they truly have been adopted into the family." --Matt Krieg For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/family-dinner/

Do you ever wonder how people can go from living comfortably to saying "yes" to serving people courageously? We do. So we asked some of our friends how they did it. Tom Mollhagen transformed from being born in a brothel in India, to living the American dream, to going back and serving those he left behind. His wife, Dana, went from accepting Jesus on a swing set at five years old, to a successful nursing career, to working side-by-side with Thomas in India. Our friends are not special Christians; they are normal Christians who are obedient. Hear how they went from the American dream to saying "yes" no matter what (and of course play a ridiculous game alongside them) on this week's episode. Highlights: "I was born in a brothel. I was the untouchable, and the lowest caste. We had no hope. The only way they can live out of that caste system is by bringing the gospel and telling them they don't have to live that life. God paid for it... We don't have to earn it anymore." --Tom Mollhagen For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/saying-yes/

91% of US adults believe the best way to find yourself is by looking within yourself, and 2 out of 5 Americans believe that, when it comes to what happens in the country today, "people of faith" and "religion" are a part of the problems in our country. How can we speak into this environment as believers? Author, speaker, and leader of leaders, Gabe Lyons, helps break down how Christians can be both courageous and faithful in a world that thinks we are extreme and irrelevant. We also discuss the Gabe's Enneagram number, one of his most embarrassing moments, and we all were privileged to watch God weave the conversation together with the themes of courage and confession. This one is not one to miss. Highlights: "People are afraid to speak up... There is actually this belief in the 'boogey man'--this monster out there that's bigger in your mind than it really is. You start to realize that when you start to tell the truth, people are hungry for the truth, they are looking for the truth, nobody is saying the truth, and finally when somebody does in a kind, loving way (and with the right posture), people start to respond." --Gabe Lyons "The reality is most people are not looking for a debate. They are looking for someone who is loving and kind, but also willing to be confident in what they believe." --Gabe Lyons For More (including some statistics from his book): https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/good-faith-takes-good-courage/

Do you ever feel like you are a spiritual extremist? Some days you're running so hard and fast toward Jesus, and then you get tired. Or you mess up. Or someone says something to throw you off and you stop. And putz around a bit. And get discouraged. But then you get convicted and you start sprinting until you...don't. This back-forth, sprint-stop can be exhausting. Josh Kelley, author of 'Radically Normal', talks through some of this "obsessive Christianity" and "complacent Christianity." What is the difference? How can we halt the extremism cycle? It was a conversation that made us all think. And laugh. (We play a game called "Christian or Secular" and the team has to decide if the lyrics belong to a Christian or not Christian song. Enya seems to walk the line of both.) Highlight: "I face more temptation going to a Bible study than going to the bar. And this is why: I was a smart kid, and my identity was being this smartest one in the room--knowing more about the Bible. Every time I walk into a Bible study or walk into a church, my temptation to prove myself or to prove my spiritual astuteness is overwhelming." --Josh Kelley For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/radically-normal/

Author, poet, and artist, Jackie Hill Perry, is in the house! As we do with every guest, we get at the intersection between the gospel and Jackie's real, right-now life. In addition to Jackie's story of surrender, we discuss how she and her husband stay connected through the storms of life, how to interact with people who want to make her into a deity or the devil, and if she were forced to only use Comic Sans or Papyrus fonts for the rest of her life--which would she choose? Join us. P.S. You can hear Jackie's four-month-old baby off and on throughout the podcast. It's the sweetest. Highlights: "Randomly, the strongest thought came to my head that said, 'My sin will be the death of me.' I was like, 'Oh, that was weird.' I started to think about my sin and it's consequences . . . I tried to be Christian before. I had said the sinner's prayer like 12 times before and it never worked. I knew I could not save myself. I knew, 'If you're calling me to be holy, that has to be something You do.' I told God, 'What you're calling me to do I know I can't do on my own, but I know enough about you to know that you'll help me.'" --Jackie Hill Perry "I think my challenge was would I ever love him [my husband, Preston] truly? Will I ever be as attracted to him as I was to the women I was with? Will I ever feel like I can be myself? Those were a lot of my fears." --Jackie Hill Perry "I really do believe that the gospel is foolish to those who are perishing. I really do believe that part of being a Christian is to be misunderstood. I cling a lot to the fact that when Jesus was teaching the truth they had the audacity to say he was possessed." --Jackie Hill Perry For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/gay-girl-good-god-and-good-marriage/

If you're in need of hearing a story of God's unmistakable reality, you may want to listen here. David Bennett, author of 'A War of Loves' (Zondervan, Nov. 2018), shares his story and God's obvious breaking into his life. David was a once an atheist LGBT+ activist, and now pours out his life for all people because of God's love in him. The story includes a psychic telling him he was chosen by Jesus, asking his friends what love is, a prophetic moment from an uncle, and a life-transforming prayer in a bar. But after that transformation, David still has to walk what we call the awkward middle--navigating relationships on either "side" of this conversation. How does that work? Let's dig in. We also play a game called "Elevensies," where we talk about which type of snack is absolutely necessary during morning snacks, afternoon tea, and movie snacks. Highlights: "[Madeline] said to me, 'David, have you experienced the love of God? You don't know the meaning of those desires until you experience the love of God.' She inflected to me that she really didn't like the narrow-mindedness of a lot of the Christian community and how horribly the LGBTQI community had been treated. That bowled me over. I had never had a Christian actually care--really actually care and embrace me as if they got what I'd been through. That was so powerful and disarming. Then she said . . . 'I really feel the presence of God right now. I have to pray for you. Do you mind if I pray for you? Is that okay? I don't usually pray for people but I just feel this compulsion. God's love is so intense for you." . . . It wasn't that [God] loved me as a fact, but she was experiencing how much more God loved me more than everything else. It was as if this love was unique for just me. It was the one thing that could get through the huge wall I had built over my heart." --David Bennett For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-awkward-middle/

Gratitude. Joy. Hope. God has done some healing work on us, and we are sharing a few reasons why and how. We get practical. Also we do a live, old-timey candy taste testing and it's disgusting. Welcome. Highlights: "The reason I didn't leave is the same reason you didn't leave. It's because of God." --Matt Krieg "It's been so hard to crack open my heart and let people in, but it has been so worth it." --Laurie Krieg For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-we-heal-part-3/

Wesley Hill is known as a big brother to many people who have recently come out as celibate LGBT+ Christians. When this conversation was still whispered about in church basements, Wes stepped up to the podium and offered a beautiful picture of living with hope. We talk about this "big brother" status, as well as dive into the new-to-us concept of emotional chastity: giving up the right or demand for extremely intimate non-sexual relationships. We'd love to hear what you think of this concept of emotional chastity, and please let us know which goofy triathlon would you try. (You'll understand when you listen.) Thanks for being a part of the HIMH Podcast fam! ​Highlights: ​"Part of celibacy for me is not simply giving up a sexual relationship, but it's also a giving up that I have the right to an extremely intimate non-sexual relationship." --Wesley Hill "When you choose a life of sexual absence . . . you're not just choosing not to go to bed with someone, but you're also choosing a kind of emotional chastity. You're choosing a life that is surrendering not just physical intimacy, but a certain amount of emotional intimacy--or at least the idea that someone owes you that or that God owes you that." --Wesley Hill For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/spiritual-friendships/