The Hidden Almanac

Today we investigate a locked-room mystery. It is the Feast Day of the Bent Pipe, and in the garden, there is growth. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today is the birthday of Helena of Troyzantium. It is the Feast Day of the Unquiet Oboe, and in the garden, it is cold once more. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today we recount one of the creation myths of the Mole Peoples. It is the Feast Day of the Decaying Shale, and in the garden, it is cold again. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today we recall the meeting of a weaver and a Goddess. It is the Feast Day of the Revolving Beast, and in the garden, there are even more frogs. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today we are interrupted by Pastor Drom and her attempts to recruit me into her new plan. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today we read of an encounter Thaddeus Macklewhite recorded in his journal. It is the Feast Day of the Oakbark Mocker, and in the garden, there is mud. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today marks the anniversary of the first sighting of the Glass Goosegirl. It is the Feast Day of Small Disgruntled Animals, and in the garden, there is vetch. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today we speak on the first encounter with Mammoth Quail. It is the Feast Day of Spring Peepers, and in the garden, there is no forsythia. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

It is the Feast Day of the Saint of Doors, and in the garden, Drom believes she is preparing to raise the dead in secrecy. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today Pastor Drom interrupts the almanac with her latest plan. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today we remember the construction of the “Most Evil Building Known to Man.” It is the Feast Day of the Glass Owl, and in the garden, the garlic persists. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today we remember the rise and eventual fall of Daniel Henry. It is the Feast Day of Gullibility, and in the studio, Pr. Drom has a new book. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today we recount the rediscovery of the Firefly Pools. It is the Feast Day of the Maid of the Mist, and in the garden, we are preparing for cold. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Today we mourn the passing of Razzamatazz by Taz. It is the Feast Day of the Overwintered Carrot, and in the garden, there is growth. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

It is on this day that we remember the day it snowed red in the city. It is the Feast Day of Blisterwood, and in the garden, George has new feathers. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.