Limited Appeal

Even more goody foody! Luc hosts this segment in our continuation of "What am I eating: liquid edition." He produces some weird sounds that may or may not come from his pants. In the course of the guessing, we discuss the Hartford Whalers, the marriage of Dave Simonot way back when, and whether being a sex slave depends on whether you enjoy it. We also provide some useful advice for life, including: "Just sit there and take it!", which is good advice for working your way through a drink with a bead-filled straw, or for listening to an episode of Limited Appeal, for that matter. If you work for Nestle and want to buy us headsets in appreciation for plugging your products, contact us via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Our mail sack has been punched once again, but this time we asked for it. Warren had submitted our feed to the website Culture.ca, who (wisely) rejected our application to be listed. The reason they gave us was that we "use an abundance of coarse language. For the moment we are not able to inform our users on this, yakkety, yakkety, blah, blah". Fuckers! We're waiting for the moment that technology is invented, so the public from Culture.ca can finally overcome their antipathy towards human tails. If you have any ideas for content we could include in a special podcast just for culture.ca, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Mmmmm, foody goody! Warren asks what other types of ketchup there are other than tomato. That of course necessitates us defining the ketchup continuum, and describing the controversial difference between ketchup and marmalade. Listen and discover if you agree! You may also want to imagine a visit to our backwards delivery restaurant, which may or may not mean exactly what you think it does. Then, after a quick stop by wikipedia, we discover that our ridiculus ketchup ideas were tame by the standards of the Middle Ages back in the 40's. Do you have crazy ketchup experiences to relate to us? Let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Good morning friends! This week we discuss the ribald adventures of Timmy, the Energy Bear. He's got all kinds of good qualities, provided you like a few extras photons and don't have a pacemaker, a defibrillator, or battery-operated implants. Predictably, the idea of battery operated breast implants gets T-bone rather excited, and for some reason he starts imagining all kinds of ass-related operating procedures for them. You'll have to listen to hear his reasoning. What kind of controls would you like for your boobs? Let us know by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

In this episode we inaugurate a new segment, called "Who the fuck cares?" John predicts his perpetual answer, but by the end of the segment he has completely changed his mind. In the first edition, Warren derides musical theatre, mainly because of the continual singing. He also ruins Phantom of the Opera for T-Bone by revealing (SPOILER ALERT!!) that it is stupid. Finally, John tries to reach out (or is it around?) to Warren by agreeing that show tunes outside the context of musicals are gay. If you care to suggest a topic that we might care or not care about, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Welcome to season 3! (3) We are at least as surprised as you are that our podcast has, to date, featured such an unlimited number of ridiculous topics and equally ridiculous perspectives on them. We'll be equally surprised if the 10,000th download gets anything in the mail. Meh. We start our third season with Round 2 of "What Am I Eating?": Liquid Edition. Just as in Round 1, each of us will eat something (er, drink something) and the others need to guess what is being drunk, and to whom. Why, you ask? Good point. Anyway, our guesswork is a bizarrely satisfying exercise if you like pointless reacharound-directed contests. If you do, stay tuned for the continuation of our contest in a future episode. If not, hopefully you like a bit of disappointment. Send us your responses by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

In this last episode of season 2, we feature our attempt to name five "bad bathroom things" to put in your mouth, not including bathroom cleaning products. Harder than you think, in part because of the restrictions Warren imposes on the segment, but especially because the discussion comes off the rails with a digression on toilet brush manufacture. Hard to believe a topic centered around all kinds of horrible things that could be in a bathroom would get us on a tangent. If you're as surprised as we are, express yourself via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Tune in next week for the beginning of a brand new season and our 100th episode. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Pour yourself a drink and get ready for this morning's episode. We start by promoting sandwich meat awareness in this week's Foody Goody. Warren wants a single term to describe a pre-sliced unit of lunchmeat. He has a lot of time on his hands. And so do we, I guess. In fact, you're listening to this crap, so YOU have a lot of time on your hands, too! Congratulations. Anyway, since you apparently have tons of free time, you might want to listen to last week's episode, "Meat mountain of badness" to make sense of some of this conversation. It won't make a lot of sense, but perhaps some. Anyway, all of this talk of edible animal trimmings leads Warren to ask about Haggis, on which Luc is not really an expert. If you would like to develop our idea for specialty haggises for nicotine addicts, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

You may wish to follow Warren's lead and try to eject early. As it turns out, all kinds of crazy shit happens at Warren's workplace, especially in the elevator. Now, now, don't get any perverse ideas. Those things may happen, but Warren apparently finds them to be perfectly normal compared to the questions he fields from strangers and the pubes he finds on his soap. If you have suggestions for how Warren should have responded to the elevator interview, let us know by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). We somehow segue into a discussion of dentists, their names, and their boobs, and we close with T-bone's first rule of reflexology. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Warren begins this week's episode with a complaint about the Snuggle Bear, spokes-animal for Snuggle Fabric softener. Either he's a real dick, or Warren has a low threshold for assholeishness. Anyway, we spend some time poking holes in the logic behind the ad campaign, and T-bone wonders if the Snuggle Bear is a pervert. What kind of guy uses fabric softener? We actually don't know. What happens if you don't use any form of fabric softener? Does that make your clothes sharp and glasslike? Then in a Nature Walk Luc suggests that it's a good thing women can't store sperm like insects, and T-bone learns why insemination in insects is like a video game. If you can store or sort sperm in your cheeks or anywhere else, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

The intro might make more sense if it came at the end of the episode. But then it wouldn't be an intro, I guess. Anyway, you'll figure out if you can be bothered. And if not, never mind, because we'll distract you by discussing the feats of a Nova Scotian mythical hero. If you think you know why Glooscap is famous, you're probably wrong. Then in Dictionary Plus Warren asks where the phrase "tit for tat" comes from. This leads us to address the long-unanswered question: what do a baloney sandwich and a hamster have in common? Survey your friends and see if anyone can come up with a better solution. If you find one, let us know by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

T-bone starts by suggesting a hair-based exfoliant, before Warren warns everyone about how sharp hair can be (especially the pointy end), based on the story of a Nova Scotian hairdresser who contracted a nasty infection because forgot to wear the appropriate safety equipment. You've been warned! Then Warren relates a (censored) story about how a lunchtime conversation with his boss about Popeye's Chicken (Warren has a very boring job) turned into a conversation about a perverted email sex video featuring a naked headstand and a carton of milk. That's probably as much as you really want to know, but we discuss it at length anyway to fulfil our promise of having limited appeal. If you understand this video or participated in filming it, please do not email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

We start by helping out another frustrated internet searcher who for some reason stumbled onto our website after googling "the sexy girl machines". Of course our website had no information on this, until now. Much of our discussion is focused on the use of a definite article in his search phrase, which is probably not what the dude was bargaining for. Anyway, T-bone quickly rescues the segment by telling us about his one-time girlfriend's fondness for sitting on the clothes dryer. You SHOULD be intrigued. Then in Urban Legend, Warren describes how The Flintstones was based on a true story, supported by "overwhelming archaeological evidence". Turns out the fact that they wrote stuff on stone tablets means there's a treasure trove of artefacts with which we can learn about our past. Sigh. If you have questions about Warren's methods of attribution, or wish to electronically punch him in the neck, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Look, we're busy. And last year's episode was no worse than most, so you can just calm down and listen again. Or not. If you were expecting something new, well, this is what you get. Tune in after the holidays for a brand new episode, but in the meantime, Merry Tedmas! During this holy time of peace, giving and family, we bring to you tidings of great joy, and ask age-old questions about why angels have trees in their asses. And some other things. Then we discuss the pros and cons of the Santa Claus myth. If you want to ask T-bone how Sex was personified as a character during his upbringing, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Then Luc reveals the frightening, sinister side of Santa who might stuff you into a big sack and carry you away. Are you scared, bitch? Sticking with the theme, in ETWTF we ask how one might explain Santa (or Ted) to aliens. Merry Tedmas, everyone!

T-bone introduces his favourite new shooter girl, Taylor. Warning: what follows is stereotypically sexist banter. If you were expecting anything else, well, you know the motto. Anyhoo, turns out Taylor managed to convince T-bone that she is not very bright despite outwitting him in an argument. Then, at long last, we discuss how much should boobs cost. We know about as much about plastic surgery as we do about anything else. Then, in Foody Goody, we feature the 4th in our series of "What am I Eating" segments. As usual, you won't be able to hear any audio cues, but play along anyway. To suggest better versions or our terrible contest, please email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). We probably won't listen, but email us anyway. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.