Monday Moments by Monica Wofford

  While it may not be the racy read that is topping all the charts, Make Difficult People Disappear does give you the map, clues, and guidance to deal with your favorite person who seems to have 50 shades of frustrating behavior that they repeatedly share with you. Whether its people who whine, never follow through, give you their negative attitude, work slowly, spread gossip, never understand you, have emotional outbursts at the office, or never seem to understand what you say, they’re all covered here. In fact, if you’ve not read of the story of Cybil and her success in making difficult people disappear, here are three very compelling reasons you want to pick it up as the perfect holiday read. You can use it NOW This is not one of those books that takes forever to read. It’s a story and you’ll buzz right through it able to apply what you read immediately. Chapter one shows you how to motivate those you lead. Chapter two guides you through HOW to change your expectations of others and reduce disappointment in their performance. Right away you get information you can use now! It makes things simple Whereas 7 Habits wades you through theory and research, with Make Difficult People Disappear, the twenty years of research have been done for you behind the scenes and this book just gives you the meat. It’s broken down into simple steps and each accompanying video (one per chapter) gives further explanation and guidance to make your implementation even easier. You’ll think you literally have a magic wand! It answers the long term, “Now What?” questions If you have a person you work with who you’d like to call Fifty Shades, not because of their complexity or deep rooted issues, but because it seems that‘s how many ways they have of driving you nuts, Make Difficult People Disappear will reduce that number by at least half. This will give you your energy back to devote time to less stress management or drama control and put it long term on the things most important to you. It’s simple really, to Make Difficult People Disappear. Some have called this book life changing! Others have compared it to the magnitude of Think and Grow Rich! Don’t miss out on what could be the key to resolving your difficulties. If you truly want a solution and not just something to continue complaining about, this book and the information in it, is the solution you’ve been seeking. I’m Monica Wofford, and that’s your Monday Moment. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

  In the Olympic Games certain athletes are said to be a “sure thing” for the gold medal. But some arrive in those unfamiliar facilities and face unexpected challenges and their sure thing goes south. Leaders, promoted from rising stars, are often seen as sure things, but fail to adapt and flail. How do you keep your “sure thing” status and keep your skills fresh? Avoid Auto Pilot Leadership is not a skill best performed on auto pilot. The moment you lead by habit, dole out the same recognition you always have, give the same motivating talk you always do, and treat new team members just as you did old ones, your skills are likely to crash land. Leadership takes conscious thought and consideration of each individual’s needs so keep that in mind. Quickly Accept Change Those you lead look to you for what to do. If you stew over a change or refuse to accept what is a new reality, the entire team will suffer. It may feel good to have the team’s support, but long term productivity will suffer as you drag your feet to accept a change that others have moved past, in preparation for the next one. And there will always be a next one. Be Nimble Contagious Leaders keep their eyes open for opportunities and those can be fleeting moments. If you’re not paying attention and moving through what you need to do, you’ll miss a chance to make a fast change and stay ahead of the game. Stay True to Yourself If you like your fun loving, jovial side, keep it. You can still be professional, get stuff done, and have fun. In fact, when we work with managers using the CORE Profile®, we find this is the personality suppressed the most. Hiding who you are will send mixed messages to team members and rob you of the energy you need to keep up the speed of work. Sharpen the Saw The late Dr. Steven Covey reminded us to sharpen the saw to stay highly effective. When coaching managers, this homework will often sound like “go get a hobby”. If that means spending ten minutes on break grabbing your favorite Dunkin Donuts coffee, that can be a hobby. If that means every Friday you leave at 5pm or every drive home you just listen to tunes or an educational CD, those, too, can be hobbies. Do what you need to do to take care of you so that you can keep your wits about you and keep that sure thing status. Those who don’t won’t be able to lead well for long. As a quick aside, some of those challenges you may be having on the team you lead, may be a result of a lack of awareness or emotional intelligence. 54% of the population struggles with knowing who they are and we can help. If you’re considering training options to develop your managers who’ve been promoted, perhaps not prepared and are no longer showing you their sure thing status, we have a solution that directly addresses that problem. I’m Monica Wofford, and that’s your Monday Moment. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

  When I ask audiences what is their greatest leadership difficulty, the #1 most common answer is “getting employees to do what I want them to do”. Is this true for you? If so, here are three tried and true methods that will work to help you get exactly what you want and help those employees to DO more of what you want. Define What You Want If a leader has been promoted up from the ranks, he or she likely wants employees to simply perform as well as he or she did when in that role. The challenge here is that if you think that, but never SAY that, each employee will have his or her own definition of “good performance”. Considering the differences in skills, experience, and expertise of the team you lead, you must first decide what it is you want. Uncover those things in your head that you want but forget to ever describe or clearly articulate to the team. It’s not only important to show them and provide the ever popular leadership by example, you also have to get clear on what you want and then tell them what you want. Clarify How You Want It Think of this one like this. Personally we all want to be loved, but how we translate love is different. Remember Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages? Well, essentially, you have a leadership language and a performance language. For that reason, HOW you want something done is just as important as WHAT. This doesn’t mean that you dig into the minutia with employees and tell them every tiny detail of a project, but it does mean that you clarify for yourself the expectations that are not commonly understood by all and then share those expectations. They can’t possibly meet your expectations if they don’t know what they are, so clarify and then share. Follow Up Telling them once what your desires and expectations are will work for those who possess high initiative and are internally driven folks who share the priority or passion for your request. All others may need to hear the message more than once and may need more thorough monitoring to keep them on task. Following up doesn’t mean they can’t do it. It means they don’t have the same level of interest or urgency around a project as you do. This may mean their rewards for completion aren’t as high, their consequences aren’t as bad as yours, or their plate has more than just your task already on it. Resist the temptation to feel as if repeating your instructions is a personal attack or reflection of their intellect and know that if the project or task is that important to you, follow up is simply part of the process. Remember when I said this earlier: “Considering the differences in skills, experience, and expertise of the team you lead…”? This is a key piece and one that is not often easily uncovered. Consider implementing an assessment tool. We utilize the CORE Profile® and with it are able to uncover skills, skill gaps, conditioned behaviors, and stress triggers. Want to know more about the team you lead and want them to manage to give you more of what you want? The CORE Profile will help you get there. Contact us at 1-866-382-0121 to discuss if this is a good fit for you and your employees. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

  Quit thinkin’ it cuz I know where your head is…however, I also know that some leaders appear to have the “Midas touch” and have it so easy. They seem to be lucky in how they hire, how they make their numbers, and how they build their network. How can you learn from what they do to get lucky, too? Here are three key behaviors that will help. Hire Right It is no secret that many a manager in corporate America uses the “Fog the Mirror” test to determine proof of life and thus, the most common candidate qualification. “Lucky” leaders listen in an interview. They pay attention to what’s not being said. They look at the bigger picture and assess how this person will fit into the team. They look not only at qualifications, but innate talents and skills. They take the time to really learn if this person is a fit and resist the urge to check off “fill vacancy” on their list. That’s not luck, it’s leadership. Numbers Need People While not every day may not be worthy of a Hallmark card, people produce the numbers. Those leaders who look “lucky” know this and focus their attention on the folks who make the magic happen. They give them the training and development they need. They spend extra time with them when they’re new to avoid micromanaging them later when they’re lost. They listen when there’s a problem and pay attention to what they do well more often than what they haven’t done. They limit the gossip because they cultivate open and honest feedback loops. Their success isn’t luck, it’s because they are seen as a good leader and employees want to follow and do well for a good leader. Networks Don’t Come to You If your network is sparse or out of touch, it can appear as if there is a tall mountain in front of you that needs climbing. Much as the saying goes, “If the mountain won’t come to Muhammed, then Muhammed must go to the mountain”, the same is true for you. Networks don’t reach out to find you. They don’t show up on your doorstep. They are responsive to your reach and your efforts to connect and cultivate. Build your network by being interested and by helping others get what they need. One person at a time you will build your network that you can then reach out to for new hire recommendations, advice on best practices, time to vent, brainstorming, and business building. It’s not luck when someone is well connected, it’s because they’ve led the effort to make a connection. It may appear as if that leader colleague of yours is just “lucky” on the surface. The reality is their actions are likely different than yours. The truth is if you want more of the luck, you have to do more of the work. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

  Leaving your boss out of the loop may not be the brilliant plan this article suggests.Let’s just say the first of these reasons is if 1) you don’t like your job and prefer to go elsewhere! However, this Forbes article suggests you take action on an idea even if you know your boss is going to say no and claims that a “smart” boss will give you a shot. If your boss doesn’t think all your ideas are valuable, you could leave him or her out of the loop, or you could consider the following other options. Paul Brown, author of the article How Extremely Successful People Get Their Boss to Say Yes, suggests that putting your idea into action anyway, calculating your own risks, thinking like an entrepreneur and not asking your boss, is the way to get to yes. I would humbly and sincerely disagree. To me, this sounds like a recipe for unemployment soup. Instead, leave your boss out of the loop if he or she is already officially on the way out. Instead, leave your boss out of the loop if you have no interest in building better rapport and practicing your skills of working with people who operate differently than you. Instead, leave your boss out of the loop if you have no respect for him or her and think that your way is better and will be well received by HIS or HER boss. (In a few words: almost always not a good plan!) So, now what? You’re a leader. You have a great idea. You know your boss is not receptive. But you want a yes. Well, okay, here are some other options: -          If your boss is a more linear thinker and has a need for control, make an appointment, share bullet pointed facts and details and use a logical approach. -          If your boss is prone to emotional compulsiveness and spontaneous decisions, catch him on a good day and find a way to strike an emotional chord with your idea. How good will your idea make him look? -          If your boss is never there, send an email saying that you plan to move forward, would like her input and value her opinion. Then list your plan and wait. Usually here a lack of response is a lack of interest or understanding. Follow up appropriately. A “no” now, doesn’t necessarily mean a “no” forever and there may be things you don’t know.   There is great value in not only knowing how to lead those who report to you, but how to lead your boss. He or she is a person just like you are, but chances are their CORE Preference is different. The more you understand about who they are and how they operate and what they need, the more effective you will be at communicating your idea. Then again, if that sounds like too much work and you’d rather just go your own way, then maybe it’s time for you to not only ACT like an entrepreneur, but BE one. :) Need help? Click this link to the CORE Profile® and take it. It’s online. There is a fee for receiving the results, but our clients tell us the investment is FAR less than the investment of time they’ve spent in trying to figure out the difficult folks they deal with day after day. Something to consider for your office and maybe this is the first idea you practice running by your boss in a language he or she better understands. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

Sadly, we are all dealing with a whole new level of stress. TVs blare the news of a theatre massacre, country after country in turmoil, gas prices up and down, and of course the mudslinging US election ads, all of which make me grateful I chose a different path than my original dream of being an anchor person on CNN, where I would chase this negativity night after night. However, leaders at all levels must now deal with not only internal issues, but the impact of so many external elements brought into the office by the very constantly wired connections we think keep us productive. My question to you is this: are you as a leader chasing the negative and ignoring its impact? If so, you’re not dealing with this heightened worldwide stress level, you’re adding to it and here’s how to stop that and dole out more effective actions in your office. Give Them What They Need One could argue that a man who walks into a Batman movie and unleashes terror and tragedy on the audience has not gotten his needs met for decades. In working with one client, we spotted an employee with this kind of potential and removed them from their role. Everyone has emotional and tangible needs and whether they are productivity, peace and harmony, accuracy of all things, or appreciation, you as a leader have a responsibility to find out what team members need and to meet those needs professionally. You simply cannot assume that your needs are the same as theirs. You’re also not their psychologist but you have the power to make a difference and prevent their actions from escalating to unimaginable heights. Give Them an Outlet When working with 22 trainers in a previous role, I used a method called a “vent session” where employees could walk in my office and say or do what they wanted, without throwing things at me, for up to 30 minutes. I would not respond and simply listen and when they were done they would shake it off and go back to work. Bottled up feelings or frustrations create a ticking time bomb waiting to happen and just saying “check your emotions at the door” doesn’t do it for most. Give them a way to release the fear, anxiety, irritation, or anger and in that process you’ll know more about what’s really bugging them and how to address it. Keep Them Focused with Your Ears Open The pollyanna pom-poms you wear when the building is burning down or the company is going under, that wave in the air when you say “It will all be okay!” are merely covering up the issues. Covering up does not make them go away, it pushes them down to the depths of suppression and suspension of the time when they’ll come out with a big bang. Address and acknowledge what you hear as their concerns and then bring them back to the task at hand. It might sound like “I know you are concerned and you have every reason to be. Perhaps this project will help give you time to think before acting. Let’s focus on this task at hand and then devote time to work on your concern immediately afterward.” You have the power as a leader to impact the daily behaviors and beliefs of those you lead. You can ignore their stress and watch them become difficult, crying out for their needs to be met in one way or another, or you can uncover what they need, give those to them or lead them to find other ways, and reduce the appearance of stress in the office. I wrote Make Difficult People Disappear for this purpose. You really can reduce the stress and it all starts with knowing what others need from you and being interested in helping them get those needs met. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

In Make Difficult People Disappear, I talk about those you lead being different, versus difficult. But the question then becomes “Do you respect those differences of those you lead?” We like people who are like us. Yet, respecting the ones who are different is what results in real creativity and leaps to the next level of leadership. But, how do you do that and get others to follow your lead? Earn their Respect, even if not their affection You can be a leader with a different style than what they’d like and still earn their respect. It’s about how you treat people. Do you insist they always do it your way? Do you believe in and create an environment in which things can’t be fun, while still getting stuff done? If you’re not just like them, do you at least exhibit behaviors for which they can show respect? Find out what they need from you to feel motivated themselves and they will at least respect you for giving them what they need, even if they don’t like the style in which it’s delivered. Teach them they don’t have to like each other to work together Ever heard that infamous phrase? If you’re telling this to team members, make sure they have a model to follow as most won’t know how this is done. Have them find attributes of their co-workers that they appreciate and teach them to recognize that you can respect how consistently one helps a customer even if you don’t like how they always point out what you do wrong. Leadership is a people-centric activity and if your focus is on them, they’ll like you more. (who wouldn’t like it to be all about them!) But, there are times when things are changing or the chips are down and you slip into task master. They may not like that style, but they can still respect your leadership. They may not like what you ask them to do, but still respect the need for it to be done. Are you working on earning their respect or trying to be the favorite person on the playground? One will get you more consistent results and the exclusive focus on the other will get you friends to hang with on Friday night when you’re all potentially … unemployed. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

Everything a leader does, says, and the way they behave is contagious! It rubs off on others so those who show even small regular improvements continue to get better results. Better results make these leaders better, but what got them there in the first place? Here’s why good leaders continue to get better. They work on it Chapter 2 of Contagious Leadership tells newly promoted leaders to develop their own character every day. The good leaders do this because they’re interested in knowing how to improve. They have an interest When you’re interested in improving yourself and you work on it, this also leads to an interest in helping the team improve. Interest is an internally driven feature that you either have or don’t, so when you’re interested, you’re driven to get better. They push themselves When everyone else leaves at 4 or 5, the leaders are often still there. When others take a long weekend, the leaders are still there. This does not mean that leaders never take a day off, it usually means these leaders enjoy getting things done and it drives them to push a bit more. Sometimes just that little extra effort or push will tip the scales to becoming even better faster. They show resilience Part of the reason good leaders are good is they learn from the times when what they did, didn’t turn out so good. They bounce back from the things that went wrong and try again, but different. They see failures as one of the ways it didn’t work and take the lesson and move forward. What are the areas that you aren’t currently working on that you could or should? What do you have an interest in that would allow your leadership to shine and how can you go do that? In what area might you be able to push just a little bit more to get amazing results and what do you need to let go of or learn from that you messed up and might need to try again.. but different? If you’re a leader or a manger who’s been promoted, but not prepared, these attributes will propel you to get better and feel more prepared….not to mention successful in your leadership of you and others. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

Houses need upgrades from time to time and whether you compare leadership of a team to the foundation, the roof, or the whole house, here are four clear indications that it’s time to call in a contractor for an upgrade. They are just as damaging as a roof leak or broken pipe and just as easy to see if you know what you’re looking for… and trust me, your employees are trying to tell you. Do you see the signs? They Stop Talking to You When casual friendly conversation ceases and hallway talk stops when you approach, it’s a clear indication of fear, apathy or anger toward you the leader. Communication is vital to leadership, so figure out what clammed them up and address it. They Start Acting Needy Focused, driven, and competitive leaders struggle with empathy. If your employees are whining, requesting your time more often, or waiting in your doorway for recognition, they’re subtly trying to tell you they need attention or maybe appreciation for their efforts. Appreciation is vital to leadership. Give it often and openly and they’ll be needy no more. They Stop Following Through You may always do what you say, but do they? What’s in it for them if they do and what happens if they don’t? That is the question. Rewards and consequences are vital to leadership and without them they’ll do whatever is easiest. Follow through on what they need and they’ll be more likely to follow through on what you want them to do. They Create Drama Drama is a demand for attention. Leaders who are persistently absent, unavailable, or unwilling to guide and develop employees will get to watch them cry out “look at me” repeatedly. If that doesn’t work, they’ll resort to actions forcing you to pay attention. Your presence, mentally or physically, is vital to leadership. Stay away or remain disengaged and they’ll put on a show to which you’ll have to go. Communication, appreciation, rewards, consequences and some type of presence are all vital to the success and effectiveness of a leader. Ignore these signs and difficulty will arise, numbers will fall, and leaders will fail. If you’re starting to see some of these behaviors and want to recover fast, ask yourself: “How big do the signs need to be for you to see?” Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

Great leaders succeed because they avoid these five things. Leaders with great potential fail when they do these five things. Why do they fail? Because these five behaviors create stress, conflict, sabotage, disengagement, and a lack of respect. If your goal is to be a great leader, here’s what NOT to do: Lie There is always a way to tell the truth at the right time and for the right reasons. Not everyone will like it, but they will at least be able to take action on accurate information. Lying is one of the key elements that will also create difficult team members AND leaders. Make Inappropriate Assumptions Making assumptions is part of how we operate. We assume things like cars will stop at lights and lions can’t break the glass window at the zoo, but when we’re wrong the consequences can be deadly. When leaders assume what we said was clear, they knew what I meant, or that our assumptions about the look on their face is dead on or they meant to make us mad, the outcomes can be just as deadly to the respect level a leader earns from the team. Fail to Communicate If a leader expects mind reading and crystal balls they’re better off at the circus. Failing to share expectations, consequences, rewards, outcomes, and vision will lead to failure of a team to meet, exceed, or excel in any or all of those areas. Avoid Tough Conversations Much as I would recommend hiring slow and firing fast, employee development is not always focused on what they do well. It is not always fun, nor easy to talk about getting better, stopping certain actions or behaviors, or that a role has changed and that person’s skill sets are no longer a fit. Ignoring those makes the tough stuff expand and leader effectiveness shrivel. Disrespect Yourself What you will say to yourself, in your head or in the mirror, will always find a way to creep out when talking with others. If you don’t like yourself or have a lower than average self-esteem, it will negatively impact how you treat others and inhibit your ability to lead. The question to ask before doing any of these five things is whether you want to be a great leader or merely a leader everyone thought would be great. The choice is always yours to make and the actions always your choice to take. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

As the author of a book entitled Make Difficult People Disappear, I’ve been asked everything from “Does the book come with a shovel?” to “Can I get the hat and wand to go with the book?” While I’d love to say there’s a magic formula that requires no effort on your part to make office conflict and stress, go away, there isn’t. But, here are two magical methods that will feel easier than the wave of a wand. Change your expectations I’ll share a more personal example of how this works. A friend of mine was going through a divorce recently and he told me he was dreading the hearing because he knew his soon to be former wife would act badly and say things he wished she wouldn’t say. He was frustrated at what he “knew” she was going to do, but the frustration came from his expectations that she should do something different. He was expecting her to be nice, kind, demure, and polite versus the outspoken and apparently mean-spirited person he’d come to know in the process. It was as if he was looking at a bully, expecting her to act like a girl scout. Why do we do that? Simply alter your expectations. If you looked at a bully and expected him or her to act like a bully, you could then deal with the behaviors and determine your best course of action. If you expect that bully to be a girl scout, the only tools you prepare are those that should work with a green outfitted, kind, and well-mannered young lady. Whose fault is it then that you’re not prepared to deal with what’s coming? Hmmm… Stop Fueling the Fire So much of what we do is habitual behavior and that includes how we talk to or deal with people we know to be difficult. We say hello to them and then we ask the fatal question… out of nothing more than habit… we say “How ARE you?” The truth is we really don’t want to know and as I read This is How, the latest release by Augusten Burroughs recently, I laughed when he pointed out this very behavior that I’ve taught for years. We ask those who whine, complain, grumble, and groan because their ice cream is too cold, how they are doing and expect them to whip out their pom-poms and say “great!”. Then we stand there and listen to their tale of woe and wish we could find a way to exit stage left. Here’s a thought. Say “hi” and just keep walking. It’s not rude. It’s not ugly. It’s honest and it will keep you from feeling frustrated by a story or complaint that YOU asked to hear and be a part of in the first place. Office stress and conflict may keep Human Resources in business, but it also keeps you from being productive, developing those who need it and crave the growth, and frankly, doing your job. Unless, your business card doesn’t say leader or manager and the words “Complaint Department” fill in that space where the title goes, your job isn’t to handle all the whining, but to keep from having so much space for it to exist.

Those tagged as “natural born leaders” or what we call Commanders in our work with the CORE Profile assessment, usually have a need for control of their own actions and behaviors, but how do you take control when confined by rigid corporate guidelines? Here are three ways to get your control back and in some ways “buck the system”, but still keep your job! Fraternize with Employees Yep, the company has a no fraternization rule, which usually means you can’t be friends with the very folks you hang out with more than your family. Well, forget that. Befriend them. Socialize with employees and don’t be surprised if they open up and tell you the real deal that you can then really address. Of course, watch your boundaries and teach them how to not cross the line, but be real. The distance you keep will make them fake their feedback for fear of the repercussions, but if they get to know you, they’ll trust and you can then start addressing, motivating, and working with them in ways that matter. Employees are people, too. Fill in the Blanks Some corporate initiatives require that you tow the company line and keep the pertinent details under wraps until HR says it’s okay to share. Just as when we were kids and were told to fill in ALL the blanks of a test but didn’t’ know the answer and we made one up, hoping it was right, adults who are given information that has obvious “blanks” in it, will make up answers that they hope are right. The difference is they will then tell others their answers and wait until they’ve heard them repeated back to them in the grapevine to confirm their truth. This is how gossip is created and spreads. Find a way to fill in the blanks, stopping gossip, and share information in a way that doesn’t create the damaging results HR is protecting against. This takes finesse and above all employee trust in the leader, but it can be done. Feel Your Way Up the Ladder In our pursuit of the next step up the corporate ladder, the volume of the message “check your emotions at the door” grows louder at each rung. If we had no emotions, we couldn’t experience passion for what we do. If we feel nothing, it’s much harder to empathize with customers or put ourselves in anyone else’s shoes. The cliché’s abound and the contradictions are louder. Try instead to keep those emotions and let employees have them, too. Being a leader who feels things isn’t a crime. Being a leader who thinks feelings have no place in the workplace, may find themselves feeling alone with no real followers behind them. People feel. Please note, the effort with which you buck the system will depend on the culture of your organization and the development of the team you lead. There are those with whom you can be friends and those with whom this line is best not crossed. Use your judgment and be a strong leader of you and your decisions, but also know that these three tactics, used with good judgment, may just develop a team that will willingly follow you through times when other leaders are watching employees bail out and leave because of the type of leader they perceive and believe is in charge. Which type of leader will you be? One who has their back or one who watches their back as they walk out the door?

  Inc. Magazine’s cover story this month is How to Be a Great Boss, but what happens when you don’t work with that “great boss” who proactively provides all the training and development you need to improve your ability to lead? If you’re not sure how to ask for, justify, or advocate for the training or coaching or resources you need to succeed, these three tactics will help. Focus on Features and Benefits Asking your boss for two grand to attend a leadership course in Cancun will require serious justification on your part to lower his eyebrows and get the okay. But, if you can approach the conversation with clear benefits for your attendance, you might make some headway. Try this phrase: “With this ____ (insert leadership course or anything else you want), I can ____ (what will you do better or different as a result of this course?), which means ____ (how will your new knowledge or skills impact the bottom line?). Point out the Ripple Effect Much as we describe leadership and behavior as contagious and mention that everything we do, say, think, believe, and how we behave rubs off on others, the development you seek as a mid-level manager or leader of many, will have a ripple effect. How many team members, direct reports, or indirect reports will your increased confidence, ability to communicate more clearly, skills in dealing with difficult people, or motivating performance…impact? If hiring a professional coach for you will reduce time spent in HR’s office, or speed up productivity, those are also worth mentioning when you make your request. Prevent One Hit Wonders or Drive-By Days Many organizations believe one day of training will fix problems it took two years to create. In only rare cases is this true. Yet, when a course is brought in with no follow up or action steps or summary report that keeps the momentum going, you create a one hit wonder that no one remembers. More importantly, you train team members to endure this one event and then go back to normal. Training and development of you or the team you have the privilege of leading is not effective if it’s a drive-by event in which we focus a day on fixing the issue and months complaining about why it’s not fixed, doing nothing different but expecting radically new results. Request results from your training firm or coach and keep them accountable. Show the powers that be your request will produce results. Training is a process and the more follow up you can show is included in your training proposal and the more time spent discussing measurable results and metrics will keep anyone from questioning your decision to spend the money on an event that produced results that could last a lifetime. Contagious Companies, Inc. is a training and development firm that provides leadership development that you can measure and that lasts. For more information on training tools, resources, and courses, go to www.contagiouscompanies.com or call 1-866-382-0121.

  USA Today has been reporting recently on the large number of Americans that are working through holiday weekends due to our “nose to the grindstone” nature to stay ahead in an uneven economy. But while we’re working harder, is it really smart? The short answer is NO. Leaders who continue to work through vacations and push themselves harder than ever and longer than most will find their efforts succumb to the law of diminishing returns. The harder you work with fewer and fewer breaks or moments of downtime, the more stress you create and the more likely you are to BECOME a difficult leader you wish your employees didn’t have to deal with. Here are 5 additional reasons to take that break and walk away so that when you come back you can handle things effectively. Stress Slows Productivity When you need a vacation from your vacation because you checked emails to stay caught up and took a call during the family dinner, you are more likely to “lose it” over little things, get confused on the top priorities, and fuss at team members who don’t react immediately to your needs. This all slows productivity to a crawl and the work you stayed “caught up” on will then have been all for naught. Creativity Comes From Distraction The most creative often find ways to jar their brain or stimulate it with items other than the problem they are trying to solve. Take a drive, take a walk, walk away from the problems at work and be amazed at how the perfect solution strikes you when you’re gazing out at kids playing in the pool. The way they work as a team may be the ideal solution you’ve needed at the office, but you won’t find it sitting behind your desk. Fatigue Fosters Frustration Yes, you could answer that one more email, you could take that one more call and you could fill your briefcase with all the paperwork you’re going to do at Disney in the middle of the night when the family is sleeping. You could, but you shouldn’t. Get some rest. Relax. Recharge the brain and the body so you can be fresh in the first moments of the next work day and not require coffee to keep you going while you’re fighting your own fatigue and frustration at the pace you can’t seem to keep up with. You Train People How to Treat You You cannot be the leader who tells employees they must have a life when you don’t have one. It’s not consistent and they watch what you do more than what you say. If you never take time off then you are training team members that it’s important to work all the time to get promoted. Is that really the message you want to send or would you rather be consistent and authentic? Saying one thing and doing another will also cause employees to duplicate that behavior in other areas that might be even more damaging. Being Demanding Makes You More Difficult If you’re a Commander, as described in Make Difficult People Disappear, and you need action and results naturally, the above described stress and fatigue will cause you to go beyond your normal nice requests and delve into bossy, dictatorial and aggressively controlling land. That makes you difficult and gives employees something else to do besides their work. Take a vacation, take a break and avoid the stress that might make you the very difficult employee you help team members deal with otherwise. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica Wofford is a leadership development expert and the author of the recently released book Make Difficult People Disappear, available on Amazon and at this link. To learn more, contact Monica directly at Monica@contagiouscompanies.com.

There’s not much worse than a constant drag on the team and it’s the ones dragging the team down that are usually labeled difficult. How do you manage to motivate them or move them out? There are three somewhat simple ways, but their delivery must be consistent. I will also share a warning here. If this is an old problem that has lagged on and on, then skip the first two methods and use only the third. You ready? Method 1: Clearly and Fairly Describe What You Need If a team member brings his bad attitude to work and is showing signs of a slow down or setting work aside, notice it quickly and address it even faster. When you notice it, schedule time to talk with him and ask if all is okay. If it is or nothing you can address is mentioned, then proceed to clearly and fairly describe what you need from him in the way of change or improvement. In other words, this is not an emotional conversation in which you are frustrated this is a verbal notice to the team member that things need to change and a change has been noticed. Method 2: Reward Baby Steps If the employee has hurt feelings or feels undervalued, this can cause a lack of motivation. You may not be able to resolve the feelings, but you can begin to notice efforts toward improvement. Even if these are the tiniest of steps, make mention of your gratitude in the way that he would appreciate. Use a post note on a report, a high five in the hall or even a public period of praise if appropriate for him and the team. Tiny reinforcements create larger opportunities to reinforce and praise more. People do what they get paid attention to for doing Method 3: Deliver a Significant Consequence If the lack of motivation persists and you’ve attempted the first two methods, then it’s time to have a more serious sit down conversation about what will happen if the lack of performance continues. This is perhaps the least favorite task of most leaders and because of that, it can come out in the heat of a frustrated moment. Avoid that temptation. Think through what you want and think through what will have to happen if the lack of motivation continues and then clearly and calmly share this news with the team member. Maybe you’ll have to remove him from his favorite project or reduce his hours or something else of importance. Then give a timeline. If the performance does NOT improve and motivation fails to increase, you must deliver the consequence for any impact to take place. Failure to utilize this method will result in a continuation of the behavior and a much more difficult time of EVER motivating this team member again. Your leadership is only as strong as the members of the team you have the privilege of leading. Be fair, calm, and consistent and of course contagious in your efforts and chances are your difficulty in motivating folks will disappear! Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica Wofford is a leadership development expert and the author of the recently released book Make Difficult People Disappear, available on Amazon and at this link. To learn more, contact Monica directly at Monica@contagiouscompanies.com.