Zen Parenting Radio

What's the difference between punishment, discipline, and natural consequences?  We discuss a few different events that happened in our house that allowed for natural consequences.  Rather than using fear to punish, natural consequences help children understand and integrate a teaching. We also discuss cell phone usage - specifically: What is the correct age to give your access to a phone? What conditions should be put on it? Are we telling our children that we don't trust them if we ask them to look through all their messages? There was a story in the Chicago Tribune about a middle school that had to deal with sexting.  We discuss the different technologies surrounding kids and their phones.   Our guest Dr. Shefali Tsabary is about to rocket into the Oprah stratosphere.  She'll be on Oprah's Soul Series and Life Class on Sunday, May 18th.  Time to set your DVR's. Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our Facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting How important is a good smile?  Just ask our new partner John J Kelly DDS.  They are located on the northwest side of Chicago and will meet all of your family's dental needs.  630-631-6844 Looking for a chirporactor?  Give Dr. Kelly and the Tree of Life team a call to schedule an appt.  630-941-8733 Tree of Life Chiropractic Care have some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. Painting or remodeling?  Don't forget about our parnter Avid Co.

Most of us do.  Why do we sometimes feel like fakes at work, at home, in the world?  Why are we afraid that someone is going to figure out that we really don't know what we are doing? We discuss how this feeling plays into our parenting and how we can practice feeling as "real" as possible. We play a clip (below) from Amy Cudder's Ted Talk on self doubt and how to deal with it. We also discuss our upcoming "The Good Life Virtual  Retreat" . What does it mean to live a good life? It means to "shed the veils over our souls" (a quote from Elizabeth Lesser) and learn to live in love. Our retreat starts next week and we will practice "letting go" so we can actually notice all the goodness around us! You don't want to miss it, click here to register. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4xYENd02_E Other notes: Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care have some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our Facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting How important is a good smile?  Just ask our new partner John J Kelly DDS.  They are located on the northwest side of Chicago and will meet all of your family's dental needs. Painting or remodeling?  Don't forget about our parnter Avid Co.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSoQ0DMrAHc Do we want our kids to be popular?  How important is this? What makes our kids popular? Is it athletic ability and physical stature or is it physical attractiveness and attention from the opposite sex? We share our perspective and discuss why parents play a role in how their children are perceived. We also use great 80's movies like Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, & Revenge of the Nerds to make our "popular" points. We are facilitating our next virtual retreat! It's called "The Good Life" and it's in celebration of Mother's Day. Register and gift the retreat to someone for FREE!   Other notes: Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care have some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our Facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting Painting or remodeling?  Don't forget about our parnter Avid Co.

Typically pessimists respond to problems by believing these three things: It's Personal- They blame themselves for an event that has occurred. It's Permanent- They think it will never get better. It's Pervasive- They assume failure in one area of life means failure in life as a whole and that failure is happening everywhere and can't be stopped. Do we carry some of these traits?  Does it affect our parenting?  We discuss this and offer options for turning these thoughts around.   We also discuss a few scenes from The Shawshank Redemption and Terms of Endearment.   We answer a listener's question regarding a rivalry between her two sons- (ages 8 and 10) and how we almost lost Goldie the goldfish. We are facilitating our next virtual retreat! It's called "The Good Life" and it's in celebration of Mother's Day. Youtube clips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4xYENd02_E&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw Other resources discussed on the show- The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz  Other notes: Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our Facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting Painting or remodeling?  Don't forget about our parnter Avid Co.

In this compelling interview, our friend Katie Weiss shares her breast cancer experience, starting with the fact that she was diagnosed at 35.  Due to her age she is told her lump is probably nothing, but she walks us through the series of incidents that lead to the mind-numbing news that she indeed had breast cancer.  Recently separated and with a three-year-old daughter at home, Katie takes us from diagnosis, to chemotherapy and finally recovery. Katie's storytelling is vulnerable, raw, and full of humor - we were laughing and crying a the same time! There is so much to learn from her amazing story, this podcast is a must listen! Other notes: Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting Painting or remodeling?  Don't forget about our parnter Avid Co.  

Is it manly to take paternity leave? When Daniel Murphy's (a player on the New York Mets) wife had a baby, he utilized the paternity leave that is allowed under the collective bargaining agreement set forth by Major League Baseball.  But why is he being criticized?  Is it "man code" to get back to work as soon as the birth is over? If we are a nation of family values, why do we place work over family? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbMFHX5iq We also discuss Todd's blod titled, Am I a Bad Dad? Am I a Bad Husband?  where he discusses "traditional" father/mother roles and whether it's nature, nurture, or gender (or all three?) that influence our ability to parent. Lastly we review some previous podcasts titled Grieving a Miscarriage and The Business of Being Born and Honey, it’s time!  Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting Painting or remodeling?  Don't forget about our parnter Avid Co.  

We discuss 8 different ways to help your children be more mindful: 1. Mindful breathing 2. Past/present/future 3. Take in the joy 4. Quiet time 5. Practice listening 6. Emotional awareness – feeling – asking questions about feelings 7. Gratitude – don’t judge what they are grateful for – role model 8. Do it yourself We also discuss the idea of creeping separateness.  This is when we "ignore the cracks" in a marriage.  The little things that are done (or sometimes not done) which create distance between couples.  We come up with a few practical ideas on how to fill those cracks. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting Painting or remodeling?  Don't forget about our parnter Avid Co.  

Our friends and neighbors Jeanne and Jeff Plaisted walk the walk.  They decided that on their 15th anniversary they were going to do something special.  Massages on the beach in Hawaii?  Nope.  A cruise through the Caribbean?  Try again. They decided to make a difference.  They stepped away from their day to day life and packed up for a two-week trip to Nicaragua.  They were inspired by Spark Ventures, a Chicago-based nonprofit that partners with grassroots organizations to help children in developing countries. They told us about their experience and how it changed their perception of our world.  They also wanted to lead by example and teach their sons (3rd grade and 6th grade) what it means to be a global citizen.  Their story is truly inspiring! Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting Painting or remodeling?  Don't forget about our parnter Avid Co.    

We all know that most of us are overwhelmed.  The question is- what do we do about it?  Like most things- it begins with awareness.  We get into a discussion based on a book by Brigid Schulte titled -Overwhelmed- Work, Love, & Play When No One Has The Time.  We play some clips from an amazing interview she did with NPR's Terry Gross.  Some of the highlights include: The idea of "contaminated time" Is there a different set of expectations between men and women when it comes to parenting? We claim to be a culture of family values- Is this in alignment with the behaviors and policies we currently have? Balancing the responsibilities of parenting between mom and dad The dangers of being "fun dad" The biology that men have in regards to being a nurturer. Resources Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh A New Earth weekly interview with Oprah Winfrey and Eckhart Tolle  Hunteryoga.com has created another Daily Practice that begins on March 24th!!!  The first week is free.  Click the link for more details. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting Painting or remodeling?  Don't forget about our parnter Avid Co.  

In this compelling interview, our friend Katie Weiss shares her breast cancer experience, starting with the fact that she was diagnosed at 35. Due to her age she is told her lump is probably nothing, but she walks us through the series of incidents that lead to the mind-numbing news that she indeed had breast cancer. Recently separated and with a three-year-old daughter at home, Katie takes us from diagnosis, to chemotherapy and finally recovery. Katie's storytelling is vulnerable, raw, and full of humor - we were laughing and crying a the same time! There is so much to learn from her amazing story, this podcast is a must listen!

Todd confesses that he still feels intimidated by powerful women in our society, and he uses Oprah and Hillary Clinton as examples.  This leads to a discussion about the campaign created by Sheryl Sandberg called "Banning Bossy"  The campaign is designed to empower female leadership by making us more conscious of the words we use to describe young girls as they assert themselves. The confidence gap starts early- Between elementary and high school, girls’ self–esteem drops 3.5 times more than boys’. Bossy holds girls back- Girls are twice as likely as boys to worry that leadership roles will make them seem “bossy.” Girls get less airtime in class- They are called on less and interrupted more. They also discuss Cathy's blog- "Banning Bossy: It's not about the word, it's about the conversation" and why this campaign (which has been ridiculed by bloggers and the media) is worth another look. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dynbzMlCcw Other topics include the value of partner vacations and why being away can bring you back to center. Hunteryoga.com has created another Daily Practice that begins on March 24th!!!  The first week is free.  Click the link for more details. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

Why do we get "triggered" by certain people or circumstances?  You could call it a "trigger", or you could call it   a "thorn".  A thorn is when you are disturbed because something you are experiencing feels similar to a negative (or uncomfortable, or unresolved, or painful) experience from the past. Instead of feeling/responding to something in present time, the experience can trigger old pain from the past.  That makes the present experience feel like too much to bear, and you may respond in an inappropriate or over the top way. An example is when you are driving and somebody cuts you off - you go from being calm to out of control very quickly, and most likely you are having a response based on old thoughts or experiences (that person thinks he's better than me, that person doesn't respect me, that person is a jerk driver just like that guy who hit me 10 years ago....).  When we pull up all of that pain into a present-time situation, it's understandable why we go from 0-60 so quickly. We played a few clips from an interview between Oprah Winfrey and Michael Singer who authored "The Untethered Soul" We discuss what our thorns are, why it's best to acknowledge them, and how best to remove them. We also talk about one of the best guys in the world.   Hunteryoga.com has created another Daily Practice that begins on March 24th!!!  The first week is free.  Click the link for more details.   Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com   Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here.   If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting Resources links http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKDPBt2m_iE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuqemytQ5QA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xdDOPx2D8Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktyQYqGtB7k "Leukemia messed with the wrong girl in November 2011 - my then almost two year old daughter, Maddy. That was when my family's journey with leukemia began...."~Erin and Dan McCarthy Last month, Maddy became a SURVIVOR, after 2+ years of treatment. It was brutal - Maddy had 3 surgeries, over 50 rounds of outpatient chemotherapy (as well as hundreds of chemo meds at home), 10 spinal tap chemo injections, 4 blood transfusions, 12 ER visits, hair loss, 16 body scans, numerous inpatient admissions, and on and on.. Dan & Erin share their 2-year experience with their daughter's Leukemia and take us through all of the ups and downs of diagnosis, chemo, and what it means to be a survivor. Dan has also been nominated as a person of the year by the Leukemia Society.  Please consider donating (click here to find his page.)  Every dollar counts as a vote, and we would love to see Dan receive this tremendous honor (not to mention raise a ton of $$ for cancer research)! Erin is a professional photographer and if a listener books a session during the ten-week voting period, she will donate all costs to  LLS.  Find her website here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

There are 5 attributes Google, Inc. currently looks for when hiring an employee and guess what?  The school you came from and your G.P.A. don't mean that much.  In a New York Times article titled "How to Get a Job at Google" Thomas Friedman interviewed Laszlo Bock, the Senior Vice President of People Operations for Google and asks what they look for when hiring employees.  Google determined that “G.P.A.’s are worthless as a criteria for hiring, and test scores are worthless. ... We found that they don’t predict anything.” What does count? General cognitive ability- and it’s not I.Q., it's learning ability. Leadership — in particular emergent leadership as opposed to traditional leadership. Emergent leadership is described as "understanding when to assert your leadership qualities and just as importantly, when to step back and allow others to lead." Humility and ownership- “It’s feeling the sense of responsibility, the sense of ownership, to step in,” he said, to try to solve any problem — and the humility to step back and embrace the better ideas of others. Expertise Be U, Inc.- Kids and Grownups Living from the Inside Out- We discuss the similarities between what Google is looking for and what our consciousness development system is all about. What do you do when your kids are "fighting" and they're both right?  We share a story of our two daughters having a serious disagreement, how they were both right, and how we navigated through the experience. We also give our Oscar ballot results.  Here's a clue- Todd was the runaway winner, but did some interesting "research" to get ready for the evening. We also play this ultra-funny Saturday Night Live Commercial.  Listen and enjoy. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. Todd's Men's Group has a few openings.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting  

How do we react when our children have an emotional response? Yes, there needs to be some boundaries on how our children treat us, but we must also be aware of our own triggers and take responsibility for the energy we bring. We share a recent experience when our daughter had an emotional response (let's just say it wasn't handled perfectly). We also use the ocean as a metaphor to distinguish between fear and respect.  The easier and quicker lesson is to teach fear, but is there a more effective way to communicate without passing fear down from one generation to the next? Do you want your kids to like you more?  Ask them to teach you something you don't know.  I did this last weekend when I asked my girls to tell me about "Frozen". They lit up because they loved sharing a part of themselves (and teaching me in the process). We also answer a few questions from some listeners whose partners have different parenting styles.  We also talked about this in podcast our podcas titled "Are You On The Same Page As Your Spouse?" Want to win a $20.00 Amazon gift card?  The Oscars are this weekend and we want you to "Play the Oscars with ZPR"courtesy of Be U, Inc. Simply subscribe to our podcast by clicking this link and we'll get you the instructions to play ASAP.  Invite your friends to join!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCjWMFXdk-Y&feature=youtu.be If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. Todd's Men's Group as a few openings.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting