Speculative Grammarian Podcast

Language Made Difficult, Vol. L — The SpecGram LingNerds are on their own this time. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the dangers of mispronouncing the names of Canadian provinces, and then advise students as to what they should *not* do. They also fail to celebrate the 50th episode. Many outtakes are provided.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XLIX — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by returning guest Tim Pulju. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss purported evidence against Chomsky, and then reveal the titles of their books, all beginning with “Language:”.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XLVIII — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by returning guest Kean Kaufmann. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss a one hundred word language, and then move on to the royal and other orders for adjectives.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XLVII — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by guest Kean Kaufmann. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds briefly discuss some innovative bits of English Grammar—no, totally!—and then try out some new parlor games featuring archaic English words.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XLVI — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by returning guest Pete Bleackley. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss something *else* that tries to look like iconicity, and then look at some innovative and/or abominable on-going changes in English.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XLV — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by guest Pete Bleackley. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss something that tries to look like iconicity, and then share their favorite linguistical jokes.

As you may have noticed, we've been off the air for a few months, and Language Made Difficult has been missing in action for quite a while. I have some good news! We've made it back to the studio and we're recording another six episodes of Language Made Difficult.

The History of the Indo-Europeans—An Agony in Six Fits; by Tim Pulju; From Volume CLXXIV, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, December 2015 — Once upon a time, on a warm spring day about 5500 years ago, a young Indo-European named Bright-Fame drove an ox-cart into the family compound. “Greetings, father,” the young man said, using the vocative case. (Read by Zack Sjöberg, Claude Searsplainpockets, Declan Whitford Jones, Trey Jones, Joey Whitford, and Mairead Whitford Jones.)

Plagiarize This!; by An Unidentifiable Subset of the SpecGram Editorial Board; From Volume CLXXII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2015 — It has come to our attention that entirely unfounded, spurious, and indefatigable accusations of heinous plagiarism have been made against the X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies. Specifically, these allegations involve recent articles in degenerative linguistics, which, we are told, included “large” blocks of “identical” text. (Read by Zack Sjöberg.)

Plagiarism Uncovered in SpecGram Pages; by The Linguistic Inquirer; From Volume CLXXII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2015 — Pursuant to the terms of the pre-litigious resolution of “Grammar Entelechy v. Speculative Grammarian” the editors of SpecGram have recently disclosed the truth about the academically distasteful practices by which the allegedly “esteemed” journal foists its linguistic and paralinguistic agenda on the profession. (Read by Butch McBastard, Jonathan van der Meer, Declan Whitford Jones, and Trey Jones.)

Degenerative Grammar; by Desirée-Debauchée Cyntacks & Dec A. D’Cadence; From Volume CLXXII, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, February 2015 — Since the 1950’s, linguistics has been wild with excitement over Chomsky’s insights, collectively known as “generative grammar.” As all non-linguists know, however, grammar as speakers encounter it in daily life is actually degenerative. As one prominent analyst (Ellen DeGeneres) has put it, “Entropy rules.” (Read by Phineas Q. Phlogiston.)

Hazards of Fieldwork Among the Hiithrobnsn; by William Moore-Crusoe; From Volume CLXXIV, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, October 2015 — The Hiithrobnsn live in a remote, marshy and inhospitable region of Guyana. A traditional greeting amongst them is “Mind where you walk,” wise advice, as it is vitally important to make sure that you remain on what passes for dry land locally. Stray into the mire and you risk being bitten, stung, infected or electrocuted by the various unpleasant creatures that dwell therein. The Hiithrobnsn have 27 words for “swamp”, and all of them are pejorative. (Read by Pete Bleackley.)

Top Tips For Linguists—Part II; by The SpecGram Editorial Board; From Volume CLXXIV, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, December 2015 — Realizing that many linguists, young and old, find themselves unsure of how best to succeed (or have success thrust upon them), we of the Speculative Grammarian Editorial Board have assembled a collection of high-impact protips that will help any linguist achieve their full potential—and then some! (Read by The SpecGram Players.)

Top Tips For Linguists—Part I; by The SpecGram Editorial Board; From Volume CLXXIV, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2015 — Realizing that many linguists, young and old, find themselves unsure of how best to succeed (or have success thrust upon them), we of the Speculative Grammarian Editorial Board have assembled a collection of high-impact protips that will help any linguist achieve their full potential—and then some! (Read by The SpecGram Players.)

Linguistic Contributions To The Formal Theory Of Big-Game Hunting; by R. Mathiesen; From Lingua Pranca, June, 1978 — The Mathematical Theory of Big-Game Hunting must surely be ranked among the major scientific achievements of the twentieth century. That this is so is largely the work of one man, H. Pétard, in whose fundamental paper (1938) certain recent advances in mathematics and physics were employed with great skill to create a theory of unmatched—not to say unmatchable!—power and elegance. One must not, of course, dismiss Pétard’s predecessors totally out of hand: the field had a long and distinguished history as a technology, was raised to the rank of a science by the Mysore and Nairobi schools during the nineteenth century, and finally achieved the exalted status of a professional discipline at the seminal First International Congress of Elephantology (held at London in 1910), where delegates from many nations discovered that they shared not only a common set of goals, aims, and targets, but also a common set of methods, theoretical predispositions and indispositions, and preferences in hard drink. Nevertheless, the fact remains that Pétard was the first to treat any aspect of the field with full mathematical rigor mortis. (Read by Les Strabismus.)