2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast

The countdown to Roxanne's termination at work begins. If she so much as utters a single word that even sounds like a swear, Roxanne will be standing in the unemployment line for good. Forget the Super Bowl...now is the time to buy your squares in the pool to guess how much longer Roxanne will be able to keep her job. We take PayPal.

Roxanne shares a secret. Late in the evening, when the house goes eerily quiet, Roxanne is at the computer, channeling Dr. Phil, giving advice to teenagers who are just coming out.

All it takes is an acoustic guitar, a credit card and six lessons at the gay and lesbian center with a bunch of 40-something homos...and you, too, can become the next Melissa Etheridge.

It was a miracle from above. After only three weeks in a hot, dark, sweaty lodge with a bunch of other "heterosexual" ministers deep in prayer and spirituality...working hard all day and all night, Ted Haggard is finally cured of his homosexual thoughts and feelings. All I can say is that they must have gone through a lot of condoms.

Lesbians come in all shapes, sizes, colors and varieties of comfortable shoes. We can pick each other out in a crowd or in the grocery store....unless, of course, you're in the Midwest. Then it's just a crapshoot.

When you meet that special person that you know is going to be your one and only, drastic measures may be required to make sure she knows it, too. Stop at nothing to reel her in -- stalk her, invite yourself to friends' weddings that she's attending, pretend you like country western dancing, and use any deceptive ways required to lure her up to your house.

It's the worst kept secret ever. You grow up thinking you're just like everybody else, until one day it finally dawns on you... you're a big 'ol homo! And, all this time everyone knew, except for you.

It was a mic check gone wrong. Listen in as Roxanne recounts her experiences with hairy men.

We head out to the mountains for a day of skiing and relaxation on our day off. Who knew that it was Baby Dyke Discount Day at the slopes? Our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

It can happen in the blink of an eye, and always when you least expect it. Stealthily, the predator moves in on their target and closes in for the kill. Before you know it, the bitch has slowly moved all her things into your house, she's wearing your clothes and buying you gifts on YOUR credit card...and you never saw it coming. It's the drive-by move-in.

It's time for more good advice from 2 Homos! When mom gets in the way of an otherwise perfectly good relationship, what's a girl to do? You can tell her to go fuck herself, have her poisoned or invite her to join you for a threesome. The possibilities are endless.

When someone that you don't know takes the time to tell you directly that you stink and you need to take a bath, maybe you should listen to them. It's possible that the crazy person might really be you.

No trip on the subway would be complete without the friendly neighborhood perv. Who needs to go the the movies when you can just take a trip on the train? Don't forget the popcorn.

Meet the stripper next door, as we contemplate the best type of strip club to go to and where we'll go when we're in New York over the holidays.

Things take a serious detour for just a moment as we reminisce about coming out to the family and how it all went down. Take a listen as we travel back in time.